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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards

Who has a prescription for (any sort of) benzos?

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I Care Because You Do

I Care Because You Do

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 6, 2003
Messages
160
Location
Seattle, WA
I'll try to keep this short, because I know how tedious and boring reading overly-long posts can be.

I have an anger management problem. Ever since I was little, I've been very, very easily frustrated/angered. Usually I only get angry for a short while, then "come down" as quickly as I was "set off," but it's very obvious that I can't handle even small stressors in an even remotely "normal" way.

I'm also an alcoholic. I've tried to quit or cut back on alcohol consumption multiple times, and usually the main reason is because the night before I either had a blow-out or just did some incredibly retarded. The only problem is that I get almost as stressed out NOT drinking as i do drinking.

I've tried to substitute alcohol for marijuana, but the problem is that pot makes me SO self-conscious that all i can think about is how much of an angry asshole I am, which in turn gives me a borderline panic attack. Probably not a "full-blown" "real" panic attack, but pretty close. I think. Just that sort of wanting-to-jump-out-of-your-skin-cause-you-hate-yourself sort of feeling.

I've tried to do the simple things as well, IE just telling myself to breath deeply and chill the fuck out, but the problem is that when I get angry, it becomes so overpowering that I justify any action I end up taking. That resulted in me getting my ass beat the other night. I'm no fighter. But I was so drunk, and put into a semi-confrontational situation... yeah, now I have a broken nose and a chipped tooth.

So something has to change.

I have always been weary to go to the doctor to try to get on some sort of medication, even though a couple of friends have suggested it over the years. I just never thought my problem was big enough to justify popping pills all the time.

But I'm thinking of going to the doctor to try to get a script for Xanax or some other benzo. I don't know if they will help, but I just feel like it would be nice to be able to use it as I need, IE when I get overly stressed and don't feel that there's anything I can do about it.

My question is this (finally): Does it sound like I would be wasting my time going to a doctor? My fear is that they'll tell me that I'm too close to "normal" and that I should just pull my shit together and deal with it. I've tried. I'm starting to lose it because I feel like my stress level is always so fucking high that it's getting nearly impossible for me to make any sort of rational decision, about anything.

I really didn't want to put all this bullshit on an internet message board, but thank you for any help/suggestions.
 
I don't think I would mention getting into a fight while drunk, but WTF worst he can do is say no.
 
Ha, of course I wouldn't include that. I wouldn't say anything about alcohol. It's just getting to the point that I'm just kind of a general asshole to people when I get stressed out, which makes me feel like exactly what I'm being: An asshole.
 
because all psych docs are not created equally and you sound as if you would benefit greatly if you were being treated by a competent one; i would suggest that you seek a recommendation from people whose opinion you trust .

if you want some links to forums people who suffer and get treated for conditions similar to your's and post of it - PM me .

also there are forums that deal with the various meds that are prescribed for different conditions and the people's tolerance / non tolerance to them .

the majority of people who get the bats out of their belfrys use both a psychiatrist and a psychologist .

your problem didn't occur overnight and the solution will not happen in an instant either . it might take a little trial and error with crazymeds .
 
I don't think you'll get a benzo the first time. You will get probably get an antidepressant, or maybe Seroquel.

What does drinking do for you? I know that benzos work on the same receptors, Lorazapam makes me feel like I'm drunk.
 
Yeah, you may have to work up to a benzo prescription… be prepared to accept multiple SSRIs first. Seroquel is another one you're likely to get and I didn't find it to be at all helpful in controlling my anger.

I can totally relate to the anger problem. I have worked through it over the years with a lot of talk therapy, meditation, yoga and exercise, but it was not an easy fix and I still have to deal with it. If I know I'll be in a situation that will cause me to snap, I have to prepare in advance and remind myself over and over not to "snap" when my buttons are pushed.

Benzos can help you to chill out, but in order to alleviate the problem in the long-term, you'll have to try some methods other than meds. Cognitive behavior therapy works. And running/intense exercise is great. Although I did find that instead of calming me down, running would usually make me angry, at least while I was doing it. But at least it would chill me out after my run. The thing that helped me the most was to exercise until I was exhausted, every day.

I've read some threads here on BL about people who experience benzo rage, so you might want to do a search to read about their experiences.
 
Violenza666 said:
^Benzo rage is real. I am on benzos all day every day and I have a very short fuse.
Click to expand...
They don't make me violent or anything but they seem to turn off the part of my brain that say don't do that it's a bad idea. Usually when I do benzos we go shoplift all kinds of stupid shit. It pisses me of because my old lady has a huge purse I'll jack fifty bucks worth of shit and think I did good and she'll walk out with three or four hundred worth of shit. LOL Guess I shouldn't complain.
 
fryingsquirrel said:
They don't make me violent or anything but they seem to turn off the part of my brain that say don't do that it's a bad idea. Usually when I do benzos we go shoplift all kinds of stupid shit. It pisses me of because my old lady has a huge purse I'll jack fifty bucks worth of shit and think I did good and she'll walk out with three or four hundred worth of shit. LOL Guess I shouldn't complain.
Click to expand...

I am a little violent... so if someone fucks with my family where a normal person would cuss the person out.. id likely pop em in the mouth.. it takes ALOT of restraint for me.. its a personal battle.. ive always been this way.. and yes benzos do turn off the "should I do it" thing.. so it happens easier...
 
So in the same way that Adderall is like Coffee 2.0, Benzos are like Alcohol 2.0? Violenza, what are you prescribed and how much? I was hoping to get a benzo for my anxiety, but my doctor gave me Zoloft instead. :(
 
lol, no benzos aren't like Alcohol x2 at all. People who take benzos AS THEY ARE PRESCRIBED usually have a high success rate with them for whatever they are given for, whether it be anxiety, restlesness, or whatever the case. I've been on KPins for over 4 months now and have done well on them. The problem is that some people get benzos and abuse them or just take them however they feel they should and end up wondering why things stay bad or get worse.

To the original poster, if you do go to the Doc and get xanax or something similar, take it like you're supposed to. You said you were an alcoholic too (or drank a lot or something), so don't ever mix the benzo and alcohol together. I'm not saying that to preach, I just know how dangerous that can be.
 
I Care Because You Do said:
I'll try to keep this short, because I know how tedious and boring reading overly-long posts can be.

I have an anger management problem. Ever since I was little, I've been very, very easily frustrated/angered. Usually I only get angry for a short while, then "come down" as quickly as I was "set off," but it's very obvious that I can't handle even small stressors in an even remotely "normal" way.

I'm also an alcoholic. I've tried to quit or cut back on alcohol consumption multiple times, and usually the main reason is because the night before I either had a blow-out or just did some incredibly retarded. The only problem is that I get almost as stressed out NOT drinking as i do drinking.

I've tried to substitute alcohol for marijuana, but the problem is that pot makes me SO self-conscious that all i can think about is how much of an angry asshole I am, which in turn gives me a borderline panic attack. Probably not a "full-blown" "real" panic attack, but pretty close. I think. Just that sort of wanting-to-jump-out-of-your-skin-cause-you-hate-yourself sort of feeling.

I've tried to do the simple things as well, IE just telling myself to breath deeply and chill the fuck out, but the problem is that when I get angry, it becomes so overpowering that I justify any action I end up taking. That resulted in me getting my ass beat the other night. I'm no fighter. But I was so drunk, and put into a semi-confrontational situation... yeah, now I have a broken nose and a chipped tooth.

So something has to change.

I have always been weary to go to the doctor to try to get on some sort of medication, even though a couple of friends have suggested it over the years. I just never thought my problem was big enough to justify popping pills all the time.

But I'm thinking of going to the doctor to try to get a script for Xanax or some other benzo. I don't know if they will help, but I just feel like it would be nice to be able to use it as I need, IE when I get overly stressed and don't feel that there's anything I can do about it.

My question is this (finally): Does it sound like I would be wasting my time going to a doctor? My fear is that they'll tell me that I'm too close to "normal" and that I should just pull my shit together and deal with it. I've tried. I'm starting to lose it because I feel like my stress level is always so fucking high that it's getting nearly impossible for me to make any sort of rational decision, about anything.

I really didn't want to put all this bullshit on an internet message board, but thank you for any help/suggestions.
Click to expand...

going to a doc with the intention of getting a script for benzos is a tricky task. you gotta make a case that would validate them giving you it.

pregablin might be worth a try, as docs are more likely to prescribe it and at certain dose ranges it is very similar to benzos (but with that added twist of the drunky type feeling/effects).

higher doses become quite trippy too. so you've got that broad spectrum of effects depending on the dose level.
 
I guess the thing is, when it comes to anger management I'm not so sure a doc would go to a benzo first for that, then again I don't know maybe some would. In my case, I started sufferring from random panic attacks and axiety that eventually got so bad that it pretty much incapacitated me and I was fk'ed. So when I explained that to my doc he put me on a benzo and it's been great for me. If my problem had been a short fuse because of anger management though, I doubt I would have been given benzos.
 
pucko said:
going to a doc with the intention of getting a script for benzos is a tricky task. you gotta make a case that would validate them giving you it.

pregablin might be worth a try, as docs are more likely to prescribe it and at certain dose ranges it is very similar to benzos (but with that added twist of the drunky type feeling/effects).

higher doses become quite trippy too. so you've got that broad spectrum of effects depending on the dose level.
Click to expand...

This.

Pregablin (Lyrica) is almost as effective as my clonazepam for anxiety. I've been able to taper down my clonazepam to a lower dose *MUCH* easier now that I'm on Pregablin. It is a good drug. If you can't obtain a benzo than I'd suggest asking him about Lyrica. Its very effective for many forms of anxiety.
 
Just A General Point

If you are going to the doctor for any reason - BE HONEST! They have the training to at least try to diagnose and help but only if you dont feed them a crock of sh@t. If you lie so as to get the prescription you THINK you need you could be doing much more harm than good.

Don't get me wrong - I love Benzos of all descriptions but take them for enjoyment - personally I would not reccomend them to anyone with existing psycological or mental issues.

Guess whos job that is folks
 
Suggesting an Alternative

After reading your post, OP, and all of the subsequent answers, I feel compelled to ask you one question: your self-medication, alcoholism, substituting one drug for another, and above all else, the apparent ineffectiveness of chemicals in general at properly alleviating the symptoms of your anger - do you not think that it is possible - just, possible - that a different perspective on how to treat your short temper might not only be in order, but really give you the effects (freedom from anger) that you truly seem to want?

I believe you want to get rid of this problem; the thing is, benzodiazepines are 'band-aid' medications which have their place in medical therapy but are largely inappropriate for long-term (possibly lifetime) treatment? Why risk becoming hopelessly dependent on yet another chemical (which may or may not work)?

I know that you have tried to tell yourself to "chill the fuck out" and have done some breathing exercises. But on a grander scale, have you made (or considered making) any serious attempts in the past to tackle your anger problems using therapy (SPECIFICALLY, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy [CBT]), possible support groups in your area, and practicing 'mindfulness' (a concept in CBT whereby, through repetition, you understand that anger is what you presently feel, that it is okay to feel these feelings and that they will subside, and that for the moment you may need to break your concentration away from the stimulus until you've accepted the state, causing it to subside)? I am in CBT currently for overwhelming anxious and depressive states that I am prone to lapsing into, and I tell you this without exaggeration - the year that I have spent engaging in it for 1 hour every other week has revolutionized the way I think about clinical psychology.

If you've tried these already, there are always other options out there. If not, I can't help but feel compelled to softly suggest that you give one or more of the aforementioned alternative options a try. Think about it - a life with freedom from (or at least a drastic reduction in) proneness to anger WITHOUT another chemical dependency (benzo addiction being one of the more psychologically and physiologically insidious out there). Isn't that what you've been striving for?

Think it over. I make absolutely no judgments as I have a past so checkered myself I hesitate to delve into it. But my first thought when reading your post was that you may be playing with fire in this attempt to secure a benzodiazepine prescription for anger management (which, as others have suggested, is doubtful), given your history with drug and alcohol addiction and the ineffectiveness of previous chemical interventions.

And most of all - good luck, man! I truly mean that. You sound like you want this. And I hope my post doesn't sound condescending, because that's not my origin.

Peace.

~ vaya
 
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I have had similar experiences where I've gotten irritated to the point of panic attacks. I told my doctor and he prescribed Xanax as needed, but all it did was make me tired as hell. Cymbalta has helped regulate me in terms of anger, but now I have more of an ongoing anxiety issue, so my doctor will probably switch up my meds again when I see him next. Meds are very subjective and it may take you some time to find the right one(s). As others have said, don't mix them with alcohol and be honest with the doctor.

Don't discount therapy either, I've been getting a lot out of it the past few months. If nothing else it's a neutral person you can vent to.
 
Hopefully this doesn't bring out the doctor scamming/shopping nazis, but If you want to see if benzos help (which I believe is totally reasonable based on your post), I would focus on the panic attacks. A doctor is more likely to precribe you a short acting benzo like Xanax for acute panic attacks than for general anger management, imo. For the anger I would agree that therapy and/or anti-depressants is more likely to help with that. Depression is sometimes defined as anger turned inward, so an SSRI/SSNI could help. I also find myself getting angry easier on Benzos at times, especially Xanax, so you'll want to watch that.
 
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