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Husband and bupe and maybe other drugs?

/\ Oh, I couldn't really tell you. It just seems I hear a lot of sub virgins not liking the "high" at all, or claiming they don't even feel it. But I also notice the other half of people seem to enjoy it a bit.
So its hard for me to say. If you say it gets you high than I suppose it can be getting him high.
 
I'd have to agree, I had friends who were opiate-naive that I would give some of my suboxone too and they would hardly feel a thing. Others would (literally) take one milligram of the stuff and be throwing up all night.

Me, I was a former H addict who found the stuff to be highly recreational after being clean for some time.

It probably depends on the person and what they consider to be euphoric or not. In the end, if he's abusing something then that's the real issue. What has me most concerned though is the fact that he abused stimulants in the past and is now staying up all night and needing money from his wife even though he has a high paying job (plus the texts asking if he has any "adds" (obviously adderall given the circumstances)). That right there spells out someone in trouble to me.
 
Yeh I agree. I can only see one of 2 things proceeding this thread.

One is denial, if she chooses to turn a blind eye and not investigate his real state, the other is turmoil, if she chooses to handle it and confront him. As patient as I am I'm very hard to deal with when confronted about my personal use, I'll deny it to the grave because I personally don't consider it other peoples business... when in the back of my head I know it really is there business.
But exactly like you said it depends on the nature of his habit.
 
Not only do opiates give me insomnia but they can also give make me an asshole. I am about the nicest drunk you will ever meet but for some reason opiates just dull all of my reservations and make me irritated. But opiate irritation is like the opiate itch, it would annoy you normally but at the time it still feels kind of good. Anyway, people are saying that the staying of late and mood swings and weight loss is attributed to the Adderall but I would say it could be just as easily the Suboxone for the whole whammy.
 
Bojangles69 said:
This is the polar opposite of this thread:
http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=504335


How ironic if that was her husband posting? Although he doesn't sound like him at all.
Click to expand...

Woah, that totally sounds like something he would do. When we were dating and he was on coke, he was always out of it, when i would ask him why he was acting so wierd he would just say he was tired from work, or stressed or whatever.

I just can't believe how blind i am to all this stuff, but of course if he's been doing stuff for almost 2 years then i guess his behavior would be "normal" to me... I've always been sketched out when he acts just the SLIGHTEST bit weird, but i've always brushed it off telling myself i need to trust him.

It's just been recently that all the "signs" are becoming more clear to me.

Another question-

Does suboxone or any of these other things you all have been mentioning decrease your sex drive? this might be way too much information, but he never ever ever wants to sleep together. I think last month we may have like 3 times? Definately not what i pictured marraige to be lol..

So yeah thats another quesiton i have since he has absolutely not interest in sex at all, i basically have to BEG him.
 
batmanplaybaseball said:
Not only do opiates give me insomnia but they can also give make me an asshole. I am about the nicest drunk you will ever meet but for some reason opiates just dull all of my reservations and make me irritated. But opiate irritation is like the opiate itch, it would annoy you normally but at the time it still feels kind of good. Anyway, people are saying that the staying of late and mood swings and weight loss is attributed to the Adderall but I would say it could be just as easily the Suboxone for the whole whammy.
Click to expand...

hmm... Yeah it's not ALL the time that he stays up, but just two nights ago he stayed up all night. He's not really an asshole though, he's very lovey dovey usually. (just not one bit interested in sex)

His nose is CONSTANTLY plugged up too.. I've read somewhere that people snort pills, crush them up and snort them. Or he could be on coke or something else. But he's constantly in the bathroom blowing his nose and his nose is always plugged, he has to sleep with a humidifier or else he'll have the worst night cause he cant breath.

The only reason i'm so big on the suboxone thing is because he ADMITTED to using it "once in awhile". Soooo yeah, i have no clue...

Thanks batman.
 
Bojangles69 said:
Yeh I agree. I can only see one of 2 things proceeding this thread.

One is denial, if she chooses to turn a blind eye and not investigate his real state, the other is turmoil, if she chooses to handle it and confront him. As patient as I am I'm very hard to deal with when confronted about my personal use, I'll deny it to the grave because I personally don't consider it other peoples business... when in the back of my head I know it really is there business.
But exactly like you said it depends on the nature of his habit.
Click to expand...

Trust me i canNOT just turn a blind eye to this. I mean, it's a marraige. I will say if we were dating, i'd probably already be gone. Though, when we were engaged and he told me had had done coke for a few months i just forgave him and moved on, never thinking i'd have to worry about it again (THATS how nieve i am to all this stuff).

I will confront him eventually i just want to learn everything i can about what it could POSSIBLY be, and i know this is all speculation, but it's good to hear what people get from it, and why they use it and such. So it's definately helping me out.
 
LostWife said:
a week ago i looked through my husbands phone and seen some text messages-
Click to expand...


LostWife said:
I know when we first got married i found a orange octagonal pill with what looked like a cross or a daggar on it as well as a scale with some white residue on it. (Dont ask me how i looked in the ceiling, i just had a wierd feeling)

(...)

Ahh i just feel like my marriage is about to spiral out of control...
Click to expand...

Sorry to tell you this, but drugs are not the only problem in your relationship... if you try to control you'll loose...

maybe it's time for some honesty and a long talk...

i wish you all the best :)
 
LostWife said:
I mean, it's a marraige. I will say if we were dating, i'd probably already be gone.
Click to expand...


Hmm yeah that just sounds like real love and not like some totally superficial pseudo relationship that's only based on conventions of society...

sorry to say such things, i know this is TDS where people come for help, but the way you talk about your husband and relationship makes me sick...
 
Yeah we've had a long history of trust issues. But i just think it was my intuition- That makes me sound like a crazy person, but i've looked through his phone MAYBE 3 times since we've been married (so 3 times in two years it's not like i'm snooping through his stuff every moment) But the 3 times i looked, there were txts regarding subs.. but this is over the course of 2 years like i said- so they could have all been 6/7/8 months apart.. Like i said it was only when i had a wierd feeling, or the 3 times he EVER leaves his phone unnattended, it's usually glued to him, he NEVER leaves it out in the open.

And the ceiling thing, the reason i looked in there was because there was ceiling tile dust all over the floor and i was like what the hell? so i looked in there and that what i found.

I have been a little bit snoopy the last week because of the things i've been stumbling upon but can you blame me?
 
RainbowWarrior said:
Hmm yeah that just sounds like real love and not like some totally superficial pseudo relationship that's only based on conventions of society...

sorry to say such things, i know this is TDS where people come for help, but the way you talk about your husband and relationship makes me sick...
Click to expand...

It's not even that he may be using- The fact is the lieing. If he would be open and honest with me, then yes i could be understanding and try to get it figured out.

Thats the biggest thing to me is the dishonesty.
 
I really dont want want to offend anyone, i'm honestly just trying to get some insight here.

I'm just SO angry that he's hiding it all from me. Especially since he's always saying what "losers" his friends are that use, when it's looking pretty clearly that he does himself. I just want to educate myself, and confront him as lovingly as possible. I dont want our marraige to end, this is why i AM taking the time to learn.. Trust me it has not been easy holding all of this in for a week. I'm so stressed over this whole situation and i want to deal with it the correct way. Not just flipping out and jumping to conclusions.
 
LostWife said:
It's not even that he may be using- The fact is the lieing. If he would be open and honest with me, then yes i could be understanding and try to get it figured out.

Thats the biggest thing to me is the dishonesty.
Click to expand...


Yeah i understand that... for me as well honesty is the basis for any working relationship... but i hope you see where reading in his phone is just as dishonest?

you could always just tell him about your fears...

idk what to tell you, i mean you guys are married for 2 years and haven't even been that open to each other that you both rely on trust and love as the basis for your relationship...

for me before i even would choose the words of "being in a relationship", that fact has to be 100% clear... so it's a little hard for me to imagine being married and not knowing each other properly...

btw "it's not even that he may be using" sounds like you seriously despise drug users... but let me tell you with drugs it's like with any relationship, what you make of it is what matters...
 
LostWife said:
It's not even that he may be using- The fact is the lieing. If he would be open and honest with me, then yes i could be understanding and try to get it figured out.

Thats the biggest thing to me is the dishonesty.
Click to expand...

But you snooping around his phone, and being in his shaving kit, for whatever reason... Is being honest? Not at all. There's a lot more I would like to say, but I'm not going to.

As far as confronting him about it, just ask him. Quit letting it build up inside of you, cause yourself more stress. Don't come at him in a combative way, but just come out and ask him if he's using or not. And if he IS using, what drugs he's using, and how often. And then go from there..
 
RainbowWarrior said:
Yeah i understand that... for me as well honesty is the basis for any working relationship... but i hope you see where reading in his phone is just as dishonest?

you could always just tell him about your fears...

idk what to tell you, i mean you guys are married for 2 years and haven't even been that open to each other that you both rely on trust and love as the basis for your relationship...

for me before i even would choose the words of "being in a relationship", that fact has to be 100% clear... so it's a little hard for me to imagine being married and not knowing each other properly...

btw "it's not even that he may be using" sounds like you seriously despise drug users... but let me tell you with drugs it's like with any relationship, what you make of it is what matters...
Click to expand...

You're completely right, we dont know each other properly, which absolutely sucks. And i guess you're right about the fact that me going through his phone is being dishonest.

And i dont "despise" drug users. My best friend once in awhile likes to experiment, and just because i dont do it doesnt mean i dis-own her as a friend.

And also, any time my husband has confessed to doing stuff i've always tried to be understanding, and have forgiven him. Like i said it's the lying that bothers me and i'm trying to learn more about this stuff before i confront him-loveingly- I dont want to lose him. I shouldnt have said that if we were dating i'd be gone, because thats not a true statement i typed that out of impulse. When we were dating and when we were engaged i caught him using and i still stuck with him regardless.
 
Hope I'm not repeating anything anyone else has said...

I was prescribed suboxone - and my hands never touched a script - my Dr would fax it to the pharmacy, I'm not sure if this is the done thing - but in my case - I never saw or possesed the script - lack of a script isn't a sign that he is using illegally, neither is a text message. Maybe he's in treatment like I was - I didn't tell people I was using bupe treatment, because once when I did explain it to a friend they fucking googled/wiki-ed and came across the word 'methadone' in relation to suboxone and next thing you know they're thinking I'm a raging heroin addict - I definately kept it quite because of people's misconceptions, not that I thought there was anything wrong with being on it - it was positive thing for me :) He could be downplaying it so as not to worry you.

Just thought I'd shed light on a different perspective ;)

Coopie
 
hey there.

as someone who was in a relationship with a closet opiate addict, and at the time knowing nothing about opiates, i can say, with near certainty, he is using, and on a regular basis. there could be an explanation for some of the "clues" here and there, but collectively, after reading all this, im certain. i noticed and tried to make sense of all the exact same things - the mood swings, constant over/underflow of cash with no reason, NO need/desire for sex, (if he is using opiates he prob cant get it up), change in sleep patterns, the stuffy nose!, subs lying around, candy cravings, lots of guarding of his cell phone, etc...it goes on and on.

lots of people are saying he may be using subs to get high but i think he is using them for the withdrawal prevention - the times he cant get whatever it is he wants, to maintain.....the adderals are either just another drug he uses for fun or maybe also to get him thru the day when he cant get his normal fix.

my ex also, used to bolster his story by talking about how low his friends who used were , all the while he was the worst of them all.

i want to say that you obviously know the answer to whether he is using or not, u just want it confirmed, but i do know how long the charade can go on when the other person is truly not familiar with these drugs. in any case, u need to talk to him. more than once if he tries to push u away, which he probably will. not only do there seem to be other underlying issues, but if his problem is worse than u expect even, then all the more reason to try and help him.

even in the almost impossible circumstance that he is not using regularly, his behavior is upsetting u and should be addressed.

good luck i really hope u can work this out........
 
AnyCouponWorks said:
hey there.

as someone who was in a relationship with a closet opiate addict, and at the time knowing nothing about opiates, i can say, with near certainty, he is using, and on a regular basis. there could be an explanation for some of the "clues" here and there, but collectively, after reading all this, im certain. i noticed and tried to make sense of all the exact same things - the mood swings, constant over/underflow of cash with no reason, NO need/desire for sex, (if he is using opiates he prob cant get it up), change in sleep patterns, the stuffy nose!, subs lying around, candy cravings, lots of guarding of his cell phone, etc...it goes on and on.

lots of people are saying he may be using subs to get high but i think he is using them for the withdrawal prevention - the times he cant get whatever it is he wants, to maintain.....the adderals are either just another drug he uses for fun or maybe also to get him thru the day when he cant get his normal fix.
Click to expand...


I want to say that I agree with this and again that opiates seem to be the main cause of all of these symptoms, rather than Adderall or any other stimulant.

Lack of sex drive or appetite, craving sweets, insomnia, mood swings, money issues, nostril issues.

Also if someone is high on a bunch of speed it is pretty darn obvious I think. Maybe I am biased but people on uppers tend to stick out pretty clearly from the rest of us, especially if it is someone you know well. Someone high on opiates can easily be passed off as any number of things, you would rarely just assume someone was on heroin unless they were messed up enough to be nodding off(halfway state of awakeness), but even then they could just claim to be tired.

I didn't factor in that he might be using Subs when he can't get his normal opiate, but that is definitely a possibility.


You really need to figure out what you feel for this guy and why. Really question why you want to be with him and if that want to be with him would last through helping him with a drug addiction. I definitely feel where you are coming from. You didn't marry an opiate addict and maybe or even probably you wouldn't have.

Do not take it personally though. Him hiding an opiate addiction from you is because he is addicted and secretly a bit ashamed. Many of us here have had our addictions and I don't think that many of us were or are very proud of them. When we come home and hide these things from our wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend/dominatrix/gimp/significant baseball card collection, it is because we have a problem with ourselves.


Find out what you really feel for him, and what you are willing to do for this relationship, and go from there.
 
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