Husband and bupe and maybe other drugs?

[LostWife]

a week ago i looked through my husbands phone and seen some text messages- one asking "hey could you sell some "adds" for me? and another that said- "Hey do you still do subs?"

i confronted him about it, and he said that he is not selling drugs (which was my first thought) and that he once in awhile takes a "sub" when he feels like he wants to do drugs. I've been researching what a "sub" is and it's a drug called suboxone which is used the in the treatment of addicts to get them off of opiates.

To my knowledge, he has never been "addicted" to opiates, i know when he was younger he would pop the occasional pain pill, he did cocaine for a little while and maybe some occasional marijuana smoking.

I'm wondering (maybe from people that have abused suboxone and why they did it and what effects it had on them) why would someone who isnt an addict use "subs"? He does not get them with a prescription, he gets them illegally from friends etc...

He also never sleeps, he can stay up 24 hours and still go to bed at 11 pm the next night. He's lost a significant amount of weight in the past few months, he eats candy like crazy.

Also he goes from having tons of money to being broke. The other day he asked me for $160.00 and it was gone the next day and he asked me for twenty more dollars. When i asked where all his money went he said on gas (which he just drives a little car) and lunch (which obviously doesnt add up unless he went to Ruths Chris) ... It just all doesnt add up.

Also today i found a little orange zip lock bag in his shaving kit. like tiny little bag.

What does this all sound like to you?

 

[Pegasus]

We can't speculate on this, sorry. Sounds like you've drawn a fair amount of conclusions already, though... You're asking in the Other Drugs section of an online drug-savvy community!

 

[LostWife]

I dont get what you mean.. So you cant give me any insight?

 

[fm1983]

ADDS? Sounds like Adderal to me, which is a ADHD medication, is your husband on those by any chance?

Suboxone can be used recreationaly, however it really is only effective to someone who is naive of most opiate drugs. And it would be the last opiate type drug I would use to get high, since there are many other options that are more readily available then suboxone.

The staying up all night for days, not eating etc, sounds more of a stimulant type problem (Meth, Coke, ADHD meds, etc). In my experience, the little baggies would come with the coke that I've bought. I use pills regularly and rarely see those baggies used for that.

Pills are indeed expensive when I was at my peak, I was using around 150$ worth of oxy a day. But also coke fiends and meth addicts are able to blow through money easily as well.
Interesting situation.

I am thinking it's some sort of stimulant he is hooked on, weather it be his own ADHD meds (if he has), or he is back on coke, or possibly even doing meth.

That's my take, and I'm curious to see what the others think.

 

[Pegasus]

Suboxone is generally for the treatment of opiates, but could be used for drug cravings in general, yes. It is usually for opiates, though, because it is an opiate and acts somewhat like a typical opiate. Opiates do make people crave candy.

That's about all I can fairly put together for you. I can't speculate about his losing weight, staying up for days, and spending all his money... That part I can't know.

I'm going to edit your post a bit so it fits more in this forum...

 

[Z Y G G Y]

Maybe this would do better in TDS? Might generate more helpful responses? I dunno thou. Just a suggestion. Seems like an odd topic for this forum.

Do you guys have kids? Is his drug use causing problems? Like he isn't paying bills? Why are you giving him money anyways? Doesn't he have a job?

If its causing you problems then you need to figure out a way to deal with this. Maybe go see a drug addiction specialist or psychologist in order to get some ideas on how to deal with this situation. Another thing might be going to Alanon, its like Narcotics Anonymous but for the family members of drug users. Find someone in the community that might give you some solid advice on how to deal with a spouse that might be using but doesn't want to admit it. He is an adult but you shouldn't be paying for his drug use. Maybe he doesn't want to admit his drug use to you because he isn't ready to quit using. Maybe he wants to use and if u found out u'd make him stop. I dunno. tough situation. Me and my SO are both users.

How is he acting? How are his eyes?

-eats lot of candy - to me could be due to opiates, heroin and methadone make me eat tons of candy
-spends money like crazy - could very well be drugs
-stays up - could be stimulants, but also opiates made me stay up
-lost weight - could be due to stimulants but opiates do that to some people to
-text messages with drug info
-little baggies could be from many different drugs - coke, heroin, and many more can come in little tiny ziplock baggies. But yes, those baggies are most often used for drugs.

You have lots of clues pointing towards ur husband using drugs so that you could assume that is what he is doing. Would he agree to a drug test? That could save you the trouble.

The one way you could drug test him w/o his knowledge is do a hair test. But I dunno how ethical that would be, not very. But if its eating you up inside and he won't tell you honestly I dunno if u want to go that far. Just a suggestion.

 

[JahRed24x]

Well from your story it sounds like your husband is/was an opiate abuser. First thing is when your faded (high on opiates) you get a massive sweet tooth sometimes and will find yourself eating lots of candy, this 'sweet tooth' effect is also apparent while on benzos like xanax. 2nd you said he can stay up all night.. this could be 2 things. 1 is that he is staying up all night when hes transferring back over to suboxone after using a strong opiate like H or Oxy. 2nd Suboxone itself can have produce insomnia.

The sure fire way to know if someone is high on opiates is to just look at their pupils in a dimly lit room and if they are smaller then pins then you know he is high on opiates.

 

[nabollocks]

Buprenorphine will not make your husband lose weight, and will not make him 'stay awake'.

Like others have said, it is more likely that he is using/abusing stimulants.

A suboxone user will not spend $160 in a day, and this would suggest that he is using something else which costs a little more.

Don't jump to the worst conclusion, as your husband may be medicating under the supervision of a doctor and does not want to tell you because he feels guilty or something else.

Just tell him you are worried about his health and that you would not be mad if he was using drugs, but you would rather know than not know.

Just remember that Buprenorphine (Subs) are not a big issue. Lots of people use them for long periods of time for both pain management and opiate maintenance.

 

[RedRum OG]

sounds like hes still doing drugs. sub is a drug. add is probably adderall. but it sounds like probably nothing too serious. but that was a lot of money. never sleeping and losing weight is unhealthy. save him and drug test him

 

[Pegasus]

Yeah, I'll move this over to TDS...

->

 

[ech0s85]

sounds like hes taking adderall to stay up forever and then probably a little sub to help the comedown

 

[Bojangles69]

a week ago i looked through my husbands phone and seen some text messages- one asking "hey could you sell some "adds" for me? and another that said- "Hey do you still do subs?"

i confronted him about it, and he said that he is not selling drugs (which was my first thought) and that he once in awhile takes a "sub" when he feels like he wants to do drugs. I've been researching what a "sub" is and it's a drug called suboxone which is used the in the treatment of addicts to get them off of opiates.

To my knowledge, he has never been "addicted" to opiates, i know when he was younger he would pop the occasional pain pill, he did cocaine for a little while and maybe some occasional marijuana smoking.

I'm wondering (maybe from people that have abused suboxone and why they did it and what effects it had on them) why would someone who isnt an addict use "subs"? He does not get them with a prescription, he gets them illegally from friends etc...

He also never sleeps, he can stay up 24 hours and still go to bed at 11 pm the next night. He's lost a significant amount of weight in the past few months, he eats candy like crazy.

Also he goes from having tons of money to being broke. The other day he asked me for $160.00 and it was gone the next day and he asked me for twenty more dollars. When i asked where all his money went he said on gas (which he just drives a little car) and lunch (which obviously doesnt add up unless he went to Ruths Chris) ... It just all doesnt add up.

Also today i found a little orange zip lock bag in his shaving kit. like tiny little bag.

What does this all sound like to you?

Gathering from those messages I can't understand why someone would be asking for drugs UNLESS he's sold before. Its not like he can advertise on tv drug dealers get business by word of mouth, and you usually only ask people for drugs who have sold before. So my personal opinion is hes prob sold smaller amounts before. If he was selling more deliberately you usually figure out not to send words like "sub" through text. Just most consistent sellers I know prefer subsitute words. So thats my way of saying I don't think hes done more than the occasional friend hook up sale. Of course this is speculation.

I'm on the same page with the rest of the members that your describing clear symptoms of a stimulant. People don't usually voluntarily skip nights unless their high on some sort of amphetamine salt, and yes you usally crave sweets when your high on opiates. Its possible hes actually using subs to combat the stimulant side affects of sub. This type of behavoir is common, but its MORE common when you're trying to hide your habit from your family. This is something you need to sort out with him and if drugs is something you refuse to stand by a person for, then you may need to leave him. If he DOES have a habit that could drive him into rehab who knows. Either way, we can only speculate. But hopefully you'll find what you're actually looking for when you decide to communicate with him and not us, as we can only do so much for you. Take care!

edit: just noticed echo said the same thing about taking sub for the stimulant comedown.

 

[Bojangles69]

We can't speculate on this, sorry. Sounds like you've drawn a fair amount of conclusions already, though... You're asking in the Other Drugs section of an online drug-savvy community!

Im sorry I don't mean to challenge the moderators lol but why can't we speculate if we ARE savvy? Isn't that what savvy people do? =]

Unless you just wanted her to realize the limits of our knowledge as strangers, but I would expect she knew that prior to registering and still registered because she wanted our speculation.

 

[LostWife]

Im sorry I don't mean to challenge the moderators lol but why can't we speculate if we ARE savvy? Isn't that what savvy people do? =]

Unless you just wanted her to realize the limits of our knowledge as strangers, but I would expect she knew that prior to registering and still registered because she wanted our speculation.

Yes BoJangles i did just want speculation

But thank you all so much for your posts! I'm learning alot, and looking at things it COULD be which is why i'm here in the first place.

I know people take these forums seriously, and sorry if this was innapropriate for me to post this here. I'm just really clueless about all of this. I just can't figure him out..

I know when we first got married i found a orange octagonal pill with what looked like a cross or a daggar on it as well as a scale with some white residue on it. (Dont ask me how i looked in the ceiling, i just had a wierd feeling) So yes he has sold before. He admitted that to me after i threw the pill and the scale at him while he was sleeping. He said he had stopped, and he didnt have time to get rid of the pill or the scale.. I didnt believe him then, and i shouldnt have just "let it slide" then..

He did admit to me the other night that he had bought some adderal (after i confronted him about the "hey can you sell some adds for me" text, and he said that he bought it for energy, and he bought three of them, but then decided he didnt want them so he wanted to sell them. I dont believe him about that either.

Ahh i just feel like my marriage is about to spiral out of control...

Thanks again everyone, your all being very helpful

 

[batmanplaybaseball]

The easy answers are these, your husband is trying to get Adderall and Suboxone. Adderall is an amphetamine, not to be confused with methamphetamine(meth), meth is much worse. And Suboxone is a drug to treat opiate addiction. While it is not exactly an opiate it has similar effects, especially in people who have not abused opiates before. I was on Suboxone for addiction and got no high from it, but I would give it to friends sometimes and they would get really really high from a small amount.

All of that is the bad news, I guess, the good news is that these are both not 'ruin your life' drugs. They are quite mild. I know a great many people who take Adderall simply to get work done. The Suboxone is a bit more hardcore, it also has the potential to spill over into a heroin or other opiate addiction.

Those are the easy answers, the more difficult answers are the following.

It is hard to determine which drugs he would be using more often based on the symptoms you described. I always got insomnia from opiate use, a very pleasant insomnia though. Is he staying up and being happy, watching television, eating candy and enjoying himself, or is he staying up biting his finger nails raw and cleaning the garage?

Craving of sweets is associated with opiates, but both opiates and stimulants can lead to loss of appetite and weight loss.


Finally I would say that he might not be as out of control as you think. He might have spent 50 dollars on gas and 20 on lunch and then used the rest on drugs. Also there is no guarantee that he used all of those drugs in that one day. Perhaps he bought his pills, which used up the money, and then needed some money the next day for food or something. That is what it sounds like to me.


Please don't jump to conclusions with him. My advice is to educate yourself and then talk with him openly about it. If he knows what he is doing and using is not a huge problem in his life, going crazy and contacting narcotics anonymous or setting up an intervention will just make you look foolish to him and drive the two of you apart.

Like so many things in life, drugs and drug problems are often nothing like what you see on the television. There is no cut and dry world of non-users and hopeless addicts on a fast track to ruin. There is a chance that he is simply taking these substances somewhat responsibly. There is also the chance that he is not. As I have said, the only way to clear this up is to communicate with him. If he is taking drugs without you knowing and you are going through his cellphone messages then it sounds like there are some trust problems and barriers in your relationship already. If you don't work these out with positive communication I can guarantee that things will only get worse, regardless of how sober your husband stays. With a bit of careful communication you might just use this as an opportunity to get a lot closer with him, and maybe then he would be more willing to stop using if you asked him.

My two pennies, best wishes.

 

[LostWife]

Maybe this would do better in TDS? Might generate more helpful responses? I dunno thou. Just a suggestion. Seems like an odd topic for this forum.

Do you guys have kids? Is his drug use causing problems? Like he isn't paying bills? Why are you giving him money anyways? Doesn't he have a job?

If its causing you problems then you need to figure out a way to deal with this. Maybe go see a drug addiction specialist or psychologist in order to get some ideas on how to deal with this situation. Another thing might be going to Alanon, its like Narcotics Anonymous but for the family members of drug users. Find someone in the community that might give you some solid advice on how to deal with a spouse that might be using but doesn't want to admit it. He is an adult but you shouldn't be paying for his drug use. Maybe he doesn't want to admit his drug use to you because he isn't ready to quit using. Maybe he wants to use and if u found out u'd make him stop. I dunno. tough situation. Me and my SO are both users.

How is he acting? How are his eyes?

-eats lot of candy - to me could be due to opiates, heroin and methadone make me eat tons of candy
-spends money like crazy - could very well be drugs
-stays up - could be stimulants, but also opiates made me stay up
-lost weight - could be due to stimulants but opiates do that to some people to
-text messages with drug info
-little baggies could be from many different drugs - coke, heroin, and many more can come in little tiny ziplock baggies. But yes, those baggies are most often used for drugs.

You have lots of clues pointing towards ur husband using drugs so that you could assume that is what he is doing. Would he agree to a drug test? That could save you the trouble.

The one way you could drug test him w/o his knowledge is do a hair test. But I dunno how ethical that would be, not very. But if its eating you up inside and he won't tell you honestly I dunno if u want to go that far. Just a suggestion.

No we do not have children yet, Thank God since i'm not sure what i'm dealing with here... I dont know if he is on drugs, this is what i'm trying to figure out.

Yes he does have a job, and a good one at that. He makes about a thousand a week, but i'm not sure where it all goes... We had went on vacation about a month ago and when we came home we were tight on money, the next week he comes and hands me a thousand dollars and tells me to pay the bills. I asked him where the money came from and he said "He saved it" which is weird because we have a savings account. Then he said he had more money "saved" so dont worry about taking it.

Then the next few days he was whipping out hundreds, then all of a sudden he was broke, asked me for the money and it was gone that day..

This is just so odd to me.

He acts different all the time, sometimes he's really happy, sometimes he's dead tired, other times he stays up all night and he has a bad temper.

I've never noticed anything wierd with his eyes. hmm i'll have to check that out..

 

[nudemonkei]

Yes BoJangles i did just want speculation

But thank you all so much for your posts! I'm learning alot, and looking at things it COULD be which is why i'm here in the first place.

I know people take these forums seriously, and sorry if this was innapropriate for me to post this here. I'm just really clueless about all of this. I just can't figure him out..

I know when we first got married i found a orange octagonal pill with what looked like a cross or a daggar on it as well as a scale with some white residue on it. (Dont ask me how i looked in the ceiling, i just had a wierd feeling) So yes he has sold before. He admitted that to me after i threw the pill and the scale at him while he was sleeping. He said he had stopped, and he didnt have time to get rid of the pill or the scale.. I didnt believe him then, and i shouldnt have just "let it slide" then..

He did admit to me the other night that he had bought some adderal (after i confronted him about the "hey can you sell some adds for me" text, and he said that he bought it for energy, and he bought three of them, but then decided he didnt want them so he wanted to sell them. I dont believe him about that either.

Ahh i just feel like my marriage is about to spiral out of control...

Thanks again everyone, your all being very helpful

The pill sounds pretty clear and you likely know what it is, but if you are looking in the ceiling maybe the trust issue between the two of you is not entirely drug related. Best of luck, but if the guy is having things taken out of the ceiling and is aware that you are reading his text messages he might be somewhat justified
in being paranoid whether he has something to hide or not.

Best of luck to the both of you, but perpetuating a cycle of the both of you hiding things from one another cannot and will not save your marriage. Speak to him, though it sounds like he may have a history of opioid use. Understand that is not something that is often able to turn off overnight, and if this is the case do not be confrontational. Many people don't go to methadone or buprenorphine maintenance without having felt confronted in the past.

 

[Z Y G G Y]

The best thing would be to tell him that no matter what he is doing you will not make a fuss about it. You just want to know in order to pick the best way to deal with it. It seems that something is going on. He is doing lots of stuff that he doesn't want you to know about. There doesn't seem to be total transparency in your relationship. would you flip out if you found out he is doing drugs? Why does he have the need to hide all this stuff from you? Make him feel that no matter what he is doing you are his partner and will deal calmly with any bad situations. It's the only way he will really open up to you. If you will go crazy at the things he is doing then he will be scared to tell you.

How would you react if you found out he is doing hard drugs? He might be scared of your reaction. If he would feel safe to trust you I bet he would be more willing to be honest with you.

I'll tell you a little about how stuff at my house goes to give u a different perspective. We are both users in recovery. Relapses happen and they are always a possibility. There is total transparency in the things we do. Meaning that if I ask him something I always get an honest, complete response. I've never caught him on a lie. Anything that I notice in his bank account, phone etc I can ask him about and he will tell me exactly what is going on. He expect me to do the same. And if I don't answer honestly he will get very mad and make a huge deal out of that. Not the fact that I am doing something bad but the fact that I am lying about it or hiding it. Hiding is the same as being untruthful. There has to be total transparency at all times or it just won't work. If we do something bad then we deal with it together, no matter how horrible it is. This type of attitude has really helped us stay together. We are both recovering heroin addicts. If we can be honest with each other anyone can.

Make him feel like he can confine in you and that no matter what he is doing you will be there for him and will deal with the situation calmly and be on his side. You guys are partners. Whatever happens to him has a direct effect on your life and vice versa.

 

[Bojangles69]

No we do not have children yet, Thank God since i'm not sure what i'm dealing with here... I dont know if he is on drugs, this is what i'm trying to figure out.

Yes he does have a job, and a good one at that. He makes about a thousand a week, but i'm not sure where it all goes... We had went on vacation about a month ago and when we came home we were tight on money, the next week he comes and hands me a thousand dollars and tells me to pay the bills. I asked him where the money came from and he said "He saved it" which is weird because we have a savings account. Then he said he had more money "saved" so dont worry about taking it.

Then the next few days he was whipping out hundreds, then all of a sudden he was broke, asked me for the money and it was gone that day..

This is just so odd to me.

He acts different all the time, sometimes he's really happy, sometimes he's dead tired, other times he stays up all night and he has a bad temper.

I've never noticed anything wierd with his eyes. hmm i'll have to check that out..

Yeh honestly if you are REALLY not seeing anything in his eyes that means to me his tolerance is fairly developed. The longer you tend to stay on drugs the less I notice your eyes respond to them. Although the affect will still be there, its just a lot harder to notice.
That orange pill was def a sub you described it perfectly.

The only way to tell how bad someones habit really is - is to find and "misplace" their drugs for a week. Then pay very close attention to their behavoir lol. Because this isn't practical its virtually impossible to tell at least ethically speaking, only he knows if his body has took on a physical addiction.

Now for actual advice, I will try my best.
Theres obviously time and memories and a very strong love that holds you 2 together, but I'm not sure if I could stay with a drug addict myself if I was a straight shooter.
Him taken suboxone to me almost seems like an infantile way to get high, like he doesn't wanna indulge in full blown mu agonist opiates (like painkillers, heroin, opium, morphine, etc) and maybe he thinks he can control his addiction by taking suboxone.
One thing about suboxone, its VERY physically addictive. It is a NIGHTMARE to withdraw from if he DOES have a developed habit. And getting off sub is NOT an easy thing to do. Its pure hell and agony for weeks on end, then the post acute withdrawals (mental withdrawals) can last for months sometimes.

But being on either sub OR adderall can both cause that happy/sad oscillation as his body is always taking in and burning off the drugs. He's most likely happy when hes hi and sad when hes not, which prob explains his behavoir. Nothing too profound I know.
I hate to say this, as an active opium user (although I will be off in about 6 more days) I would NEVER date a drug addict, nor would I date a sober person because I AM a drug addict as its not fair to them. So its quite the catch 22. Drug addicts CAN stir a lot of drama however, if you like that, that can make it harder for you to see things objectively. Some people don't like boring stable sober people.
Thats all stuff you can figure out in your head obviously. But the truth is its hard to get someone clean if they don't wanna it. No matter what he says or how he presents the future to you, its most likely not going to be how things pan out. Drug addicts live on false promises.

Its hard but hang in there, you sound like you have more than half a brain. Especially with your "I just thought to check the cieling" remark. So I think no matter how it ends, you'll be the person alright coming out of it.. as you'll be the sober one. Some guys will try to "convert" their women if they think they can, but hes prob hiding it from you because you stick to your beliefs and are grounded, which is great.

Good luck & hope all goes well for you!

 

[eon_blue]

Suboxone will get you high as a kite if you aren't physically addicted to opiates. I was on suboxone for over a year when I was using/getting clean from heroin. After I was clean for a period of time, I started using Suboxone again for the recreational effects because I had some left over. That eventually led me to relapse on heroin again.

Anyway, my point is that yeah, you can use Suboxone to get high. Its also convenient because it won't show up on standard drug tests.

If he's not sleeping and is losing weight, and has abused stimulants in the past, and is constantly needing money, then sorry but the answer to that one is obvious.

I do have to say though, I don't condone snooping around and that includes looking through someone's text messages But what's done is done, and there's no running from what you've seen/read. I would bet money he's using, time to try and communicate with him about it.