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    Empathogenic
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I think I done too much.

hellohighs said:
Another question to everyone, do you think rolling once more would actually be beneficial to me? To, I guess, lighten my mood about things? I assure you, it'll only be one time and it has been a couple months since my last time. Has anybody done this and actually felt things got worse? Again, I'd wish for actual, true stories instead of theoretical ideas. I appreciate your replies.
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I've been doing it "one last time" for years. Then I gave up and just do it when I come across it. Your mood may be lightened about the situation if you take e again, but it will be right where it was before when you come down. Even now I want to have a magical MDMA experience one more time. Will I be able to control myself afterward this time? Who knows. All I do know is I couldn't any other time, but this is coming from someone psychologically addicted to MDMA. Your experience could vary, but I more or less agree with jayjay.
 
I've rolled about 80 times in about a 7 month period. I'm not really depressed or anything, I just have worse comedowns now and rolls don't last as long
 
Thanks for your answers and I'll be sure to stay off it. E does mess with your brain, tweakthizz, you can't honestly say artificially triggering your happiness over and over doesn't damage the neural connections that help perform this function on its own. Maybe you don't feel it, but I'm letting you know too much isn't a good thing and you won't know until it's too late. And I think the reason your rolls don't last as long as they used to is because your serotonin supply has already been decreased due to your E use. Just my opinion and roll safe, man.
 
I've always said rolling made me less smart. I definitely noticed the lack of smooth communicating! I felt I wasn't able to relay thoughts as well. I definitely noticed my memory got worse. I haven't noticed it's gotten better, and I stopped binging on x about 6 years ago. But I've continued to to it minimally since then
 
I would consider myself a long time abuser of MDMA and MDXX pills.

I consumed two rolls every single weekend for a year and a half. I never ever missed a weekend :\ I am most definitely ashamed of this, but I don't regret it.

I can officially blame my extreme anxiety and moodiness on that year and a half binge. It would only make sense. The anxiety and extreme moodiness happened starting six months after I quit.

Even though I quit about eight months ago, I believe it will STILL take my body much longer recover. I'm just waiting for the day when my brain will be back to "normal". Can't wait :)
 
imissmyX said:
I've always said rolling made me less smart. I definitely noticed the lack of smooth communicating! I felt I wasn't able to relay thoughts as well.
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This is how I feel.

My experience with MDMA is this:
I first rolled mid-February of last year with a boy who eventually became my boyfriend. I was taking a gap year between high school and college and he had just moved to the city (transferring to a nearby college in LA; he's three years older than me). He had an apartment, but basically lived at my house starting around April or so and then all throughout summer. With absolutely no real responsibilities or obligations, we rolled once a week on average, sometimes every other week and sometimes every 6 days. Our tolerance never really went up (it's higher now, but during our honeymoon phase one pill was enough to get us rolling every time) and it was magical every single time -- this went on for 6 months.

Then, I moved to New York for college in September (and he ended up transferring to a college here to stay with me). With responsibilities and work, and because we wanted to be more responsible with our usage, the frequency of our rolling decreased to around every 3-6 weeks (usually a month). We broke the one month rule during winter break and rolled three times during that period... Not good. But we've also taken 6 week breaks every now and then.

Well, the result of all this is that I definitely think it's a little harder to string together sentences while talking. It's not extremely obvious and probably only really noticeable to me, especially because I've read so much about it on here, but I find that I stumble over words more often than I used to (or at least I think... I can't really remember how I spoke a year and a half ago). My sentences just aren't as fluid. It's kind of shitty. This is pretty much the only thing that really bothers me, though. In terms of my actual brain, I don't believe my intelligence has been affected. I am a film studies major at NYU and got straight As this semester, which is something I didn't even pull off in high school because I was super depressed. I'm capable of writing papers, studying, taking exams... None of that has been affected (thank god). I think my memory is fine as well, though I have ridiculously horrible short term memory while rolling and the day or two afterwards.

It sucks that I don't speak as smoothly as I used to... Hopefully spacing out my rolls more will prevent more noticeable damage from being done. The "magic" is still all there. We can still roll solidly for 4-6 hours on 2-3 pills. I feel lucky that our 6 month binge didn't ruin ecstasy for us.

Hope this was somewhat informative.
 
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I've taken alot of E in these last three months. I've even been experimenting with other drugs also. But I'm going to have my fun while I'm in high school, then when I graduate I'm gonna do everything possible to stay away from drugs. Plus the job I want will fire you in a second if you do drugs.
 
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