Whats wrong with me??

[toomuchpain]

its been known that i have EXTREME social anxiety, along with bipolar, and i just started this new job at a resturaunt but i feel completely uncomfortable, this is the exact same feeling i got when i held a job a few years back, i quit within 2 days, i just dont know what it is, its a horrible feeling, its like im terrified of what to do.
i also believe i should have another job offer for a dispatcher, i think i can hold this job really well, because ive spent years dispatching, and during my interview with them, they basically told me i had the job, they said, "well, try the other job for a few days and see how you like it and you can contact us" or i forget, maybe theyll contact me, either way i called them, they told me in the interview that their going to isrseal, not sure how long they will be gone, but i called and left a message.

i bring this up because i really want to quit this resturaunt job, it gets me so nervous that i want to throw up, i take atleast 30mg valium to work 1 shift, and both days ive worked i left early, i dont know if its me, but its extremely hard to find and maintain a job, could this be part of my disorder or is it just me??
please help, i need some answers, tomorrow were supposed to be open to guests, itll be grand opening next week, but just family and friends tomorrow, but that means were actuallly going to work and im feeling nausea just thinking about it

 

[hyroller]

its been known that i have EXTREME social anxiety, along with bipolar

I sense you may have just answered your own query.....?

 

[toomuchpain]

the shitty thing is that the last job i held that only lasted 2 days eventually led to a serious od...why cant i get state help like ssdi?

 

[Ego Death]

I have social anxiety disorder as well and it's really horrible. But, I've been able to overcome a lot of it by doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy exposure exercises. I'm telling you the only way to get over it is to go through with it no matter how uncomfortable you are. We have conditioned ourselves so thoroughly to have anxiety in social situations just like a pavlovian dog it is our immediate response to being put in a social situation.

In my first year of college I had to drop classes if they required an oral presentation cause I just couldn't handle it. To my dismay I figured out I would never graduate if I couldn't give public speeches because a majority of classes now a days require oral presentations of some sort. So I white knuckled it and just went for it and yes the first time was horrible as was the second and third but then it started not being so bad. By my senior year they were nothing and I actually began to enjoy giving speeches and was able to give one to an auditorium of 300 of my peers and professors.

The only way out of this disorder is to undo the conditioning we have put ourselves through. The only way to do this is to expose ourselves to situations that bring out the anxiety, experience it, and move on. It sounds easier than it is, believe me I know, but it does work and the anxiety does go away. You might want to find a Cognitive Behavioral therapist who will give you therapy and guide you through the exposure exercises.

Also, I found my drug use would make my Social Anxiety worse, particularly marijuana, and when I stopped using it regularly and just used on weekends it go a lot better.

 

[skinnylegz]

Have you actually applied for SSI or SSD? If you did and were denied, you can appeal their decision. Everyone I know on SSD was denied their first few times but eventually got it. I think they do that just to see how dire of a situation it is.

Also, I can relate to you on this issue. I also suffer from extreme social anxiety, and I just quit my job of 1 year because of how anxious I felt when at work and how depressed and lethargic I felt when I was not working. I'm now going about filing for unemployment so I don't have to move back in with my mother. I also cannot STAND this feeling. I get so tense and nervous when in social situations and I hate it. I'm going to an open interview for another store today, but it happens to be for the same position that I just left so I am not looking forward to really getting the job. On top of all this, my psychiatrist refuses to prescribe me benzos, even though my situation is now keeping me from meeting new people and obviously keeping me from holding a job or even applying for one. So at least you are lucky to have some valium to take the edge off. I am on 150mg of methadone, 30mg buspar, and 150mg of effexor daily but I am still extremely anxious. Not so much depressed anymore, but the anxiety kills me.

Well, keep your head up, man, and just know that you are not alone in dealing with this

-legz

 

[n3ophy7e]

toomuchpain, that sucks man, I can imagine the discomfort you're forcing yourself to go through, and I can understand you wanting to quit the job.

But you can't run away from these types of challenging situations forever. You CAN get better.

What treatment are you getting for your social anxiety and bipolar, at the moment??

 

[Georgie25]

Dude I feel the same way..I've quit three jobs because of my SAD/depression issues. I work at a Burger King now and about to get fired cuz I havn't showed up the past three days due to my depression/SAD. I work a job for while but just can't get to know people or open up which makes people think I'm retarded or stuck up when in reality Idk how to talk to people that well especially when you feel depressed and lethargic most of the time, it feels like a chore just to speak a sentence. Obviously at this job you must keep going for 8 hours at a contant fast pace, no breaks, so it's very hard for me.

 

[graugeist]

I cannot say much about your anxiety, but I do have bipolar disorder and I can relate to some extent. Because you are bipolar, you really need to be very careful about exposing yourself to too much stress. Too much stress usually triggers mania for people who have bipolar disorder. It sounds like the job at the restaurant is causing you too much stress. The longer you continue to work there the more your mental health may suffer. If you are more comfortable with dispatching you should probably look into that job opportunity. You are going to have to learn how to walk the balance in life so you can get a feel for the things that you can do and the things that you cannot do because they are too stressful.

If you have not already brought these concerns up with your psychiatrist or psychologist I recommend that you do so as soon as possible. Also, maybe reaching out to a friend or a few family members will help you to feel better. If you are suffering this much stress and anxiety you could suffer a depressive or manic episode; you need to keep your family informed so they can check in on you and intervene if something goes wrong.

 

[toomuchpain]

I cannot say much about your anxiety, but I do have bipolar disorder and I can relate to some extent. Because you are bipolar, you really need to be very careful about exposing yourself to too much stress. Too much stress usually triggers mania for people who have bipolar disorder. It sounds like the job at the restaurant is causing you too much stress. The longer you continue to work there the more your mental health may suffer. If you are more comfortable with dispatching you should probably look into that job opportunity. You are going to have to learn how to walk the balance in life so you can get a feel for the things that you can do and the things that you cannot do because they are too stressful.

If you have not already brought these concerns up with your psychiatrist or psychologist I recommend that you do so as soon as possible. Also, maybe reaching out to a friend or a few family members will help you to feel better. If you are suffering this much stress and anxiety you could suffer a depressive or manic episode; you need to keep your family informed so they can check in on you and intervene if something goes wrong.

yeah, i skipped work today, didnt even call cause it was difficult for me to do that but i hate myself that i cant be able to be myself and maintain a job...i def will bring this up to my social worker, who ive been seeing for the last few weeks, but im starting to demand that i see a pdoc and that my social worker get in touch with my pcp, and its been 2 weeks and no response, and i told him it was urgent, and the first time he told me he couldnt get in touch i completely shut down, because my pcp knows how serious my mental condition is, and that ive tried to kill myself twice, so im taking it personal and extremely frustrated, by the time i see my social worker again, he better have talked to my pcp or i will blow up, because thats ridiculous

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Try talking to a therapist, getting exercise every day, and eating the right amounts of the right foods. Medication might be necessary, but it doesn't have to be for most people.

 

[Colmes]

Have you actually applied for SSI or SSD? If you did and were denied, you can appeal their decision. Everyone I know on SSD was denied their first few times but eventually got it. I think they do that just to see how dire of a situation it is.

Also, I can relate to you on this issue. I also suffer from extreme social anxiety, and I just quit my job of 1 year because of how anxious I felt when at work and how depressed and lethargic I felt when I was not working. I'm now going about filing for unemployment so I don't have to move back in with my mother. I also cannot STAND this feeling. I get so tense and nervous when in social situations and I hate it. I'm going to an open interview for another store today, but it happens to be for the same position that I just left so I am not looking forward to really getting the job. On top of all this, my psychiatrist refuses to prescribe me benzos, even though my situation is now keeping me from meeting new people and obviously keeping me from holding a job or even applying for one. So at least you are lucky to have some valium to take the edge off. I am on 150mg of methadone, 30mg buspar, and 150mg of effexor daily but I am still extremely anxious. Not so much depressed anymore, but the anxiety kills me.

Well, keep your head up, man, and just know that you are not alone in dealing with this

-legz

Man, the government could care less if you're miserable (most of the time).
Do you have Cancer, HIV, a gunshot wound? They seem to need something that can be physically tested for in order to help people with SSI or SSD. Unless you have a very apparent mental illness (schizophrenia, dementia etc). I've never applied for it, I just know that my brother is autistic and getting medicaid for him, or grants from the government to assist in his schooling is a chore.

I do feel for you and am not making light of anything. But to get those benefits your best bet would probably be to hire a lawyer who specializes in getting their clients those benefits. Just need the money for the lawyer...and some good luck.

I'm on 40mg of Valium a day, if it works out for you, let me know.
Well good luck.

 

[Shucklet]

I have social anxiety disorder as well and it's really horrible...I'm telling you the only way to get over it is to go through with it no matter how uncomfortable you are.

This.

 

[Mr Blonde]

^ But the OP has bi-polar as well; someone already mentioned that too much stress in bi-polar will cause mania this is exactly what happens to me APPARENTLY.

toomuchpain: I'm in a very similar situation to you, same illnesses except that right now I'm feeling very good, no anxiety, but when I'm normal feeling or depressed then the anxiety becomes very problematic, it has caused me to lose two jobs so far both of which I was really good at, and has also led to suicide attempts, self-harm, addiction, etc... and I"m only 20 years old and I'm extremely dysfunctional.

Anyway I forget why I was saying all that, but I understand what you are going through and I will tell you what I have done when I have been like that:

1) See a therapist as often as possible and REEALLY do waht they say, I mean practicing those relaxation exercises and deep breathing and distancing yourself from thoughts, I would practice those all day trying to get better.

2) Get in touch with your doctor, sounds like you are trying to do this, I'm not sure how it all works where you are but your PCP not calling you back sounds really shit and I would try and find another doctor, maybe talk to your social worker about this they are there to help you.

3) Do what you need to do to get by. Try and do as many of the things you like doing that help make you feel happy. I'm very self-destructive so for me this entails chain smoking like hell, drinking, using, fucking, but I do have some healthy habits that help me like playing music, writing, reading, just being creative in general. Even if I was at work and couldn't actually play an instrument there I would still be doing creative things in my mind, thinking of melodies and song structures for instance, this would help me calm down and feel less anxious. I even ended up making quite a few friends and being popular at work until I had a break down and was fired.

SO there you go OP, that's mya dvice, let us know how you are doing. BL, especially TDS, is such a great support network. I love coming on here, it keeps me going when I'm not sleeping.