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i really need help ppl : (

totach

totach

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 27, 2009
Messages
925
Location
newyork
i dont know what to do i know this should be in the SLR forum but im so used to you guys in this forum but basically i dont know what to do my girl basically canot deal with the selffishnes i am doing to her right now in this hard time for me as i am kicking a 5 year heroin habit i am 24 she is 20 we hav bin living together for over a year but i feel like she might drive me to use again because shes telling me i dont ask her how her day was and so on and i keep telling her babe im hurting right now like what the fuck youve bin wit me for over a year im finally clean for 10 dAys like work with me i really do love this girl but i dont know what to do i feel like if we didnt live together then it would be allright i feel like she just doesnt wanna break up cuz she doesnt wanna move back home im so fucking confused i dont know what to do im bugging out cuz i hate to see her hurting its killing me but at the same time its fucking with my sobriety so what should i do please help guys by the way she hates bluelight n thinks were all druggies n shit n i always praise bluelight u guys know i love all of u with all my heart you ppl helped me so much some of u dont even know how much u helped me but anyone that ever posted here trust me u helped me in some way please giv me ur opinions on what i should do keep in mind i love this girl but shes fucking wit my sobriety what should i do?
ps:i love evreyone on bluelight ur like family n even tho im so sad right now ima still put a smile face cuz i know u ppl will help me : )
 
Man if your sobriety is really important to you and she is getting in the way, maybe you need to talk to her about needing some space so you can get well.

At ten days though brother the physical WD are gonna be almost gone, the mental stuff will still be fucking with you though, maybe give it a few more days and see how you do if your mood starts improving as you get better?
 
You don't want to HEAR it but you already know it.


Get rid of her. Think about it this way. Are your best times with her doing things like going to the zoo, laughing and having fun, cooking together, making house decisions fairly, communicating well, and so on? Or are the times you're gonna look back on are Getting High and allll the vices that go with that.

Don't think about it. Just get your own place. DON'T THINK TOO MUCH. Go with your GUT

or you will look back in 5 years and wish you'd taken a different crossroad
take the other path

your higher self is DYING for it... it's begging you to break free...

You need a soul nurterer as a partner...
 
wow mami you said that really well and so did you mrblonde but im still so stuck i do not want to hurt this girl she has bin really good to me until now i love her so much that i think im willing to risk my sobriety is that normal? should i be feeling like this? you know what my main ? is do i really owe her anything for all the bullshit i put her thru for the whole year she stuck wit me while i was using? i really feel like i owe her something is that normal? because as u all know we all hav that asshole attitude sometimes when we r high on opiates im really confused : (
but thanks so much u 2 u ppl r the best much love : )
 
come back when you're sober for a min. I'm not totally clear headed either but i think it'll be good for ya if you sleep on it.


Try and do "your own thing" during the day and have your own identity apart from her.
 
i dont sleep : ( sheyyttttt im in the middle of breaking up right now ill get back to u guys later
 
hey guys thanks for your help,well im not really sure what we closed on she still slept at my house i guess i will find out when she wakes up wish me luck guys ill let u know soon what happens thanx again : )
 
Don't rely on her to wake up and "make choices".

TOTACH.
Make your own choices and stand by them with a cold iron fist. You know what you need. Be Bold Brother.

Don't get sucked in.

Encourage your emotional detachement. Stay away from her.
 
If you need to (for your own sobriety and psychological well being)
FILE AN ORDER OF PROTECTION ON HER

That way you can have time to yourself where you are legally not allowed to be in contact. So you can find yourself. You're coming off drugs you need YOUR OWN HEAD SPACE.

Don't tell her your'e filing "OP" as they call it just do it and a police will "Serve" her by handing her the paper. She may and probably will (if she even has a chance) try to threaten you but it sounds like you are being PLAYED by her. Document any threats and just DON'T LISTEN to her threats because they are empty. You have law on your side. But you need ADVOCATES for you, for your sobriety and mental health.

Is the residence yours? Both of yours? Where can/does she stay when not at your place?

Go the court house.
Bring her liscence plate # & last 4 of her social. And and address where she can be "Served" at.

It's not because you don't care about her it's because you both are co-dependent and need someone else to step in and say- GO YOUR OWN WAYS FOR 2-4 WEEKS OR WHATEVER and get on your own feet.

I've rambled enough now don't think about it. TAKE YOUR DOSE AND GET YOUR ASS TO THAT COURTHOUSE!!!
 
well hey dude if you dont want to get rid of her, I think you should sit her down and explain all about heroin withdrawl, sobriety, and the mental things you go through during the process. Take her to an AL-Anon (the one for families) and they can help explain it to her and take her to a methadone clinic or sub doctor and have them explain or a drug counselor. I think she need to be informed about what the process is and what has to be done. So dont just cut her loose like everybody says if you love her
 
lol i know i suck at punctutation i could never comprehend it i hav dislexia or somethin it runs in the family im up for a lesson if you wanna try to teach me : )
anyways thanx 4 the input guys
mami- its not that serious that i need a court order i pay the bills its my house if i told her to leave she would im just not sure if i should ask for some space i mean she really helped me get clean also like i asked before is it normal for me to feel like i owe her something for that cuz i wasted a year of her life and also if we broke up her parents liv right by me she can go home honestly the perfect thing for me would be 2 like take a break but her not leave like still liv together but do our own thing but i dont think she will ever agree to that
pharcyde-thanx for your input ya man i really do love her no ? bout that she is a great girl that ive put thru alot n always stuck by my side thats y im so confused like if she was a bitch fine id tel her fuck off!!! but shes not shes great its just now that im clean n i dont pay her much attention shes bugging out n i hate coming home to that after work u know? i wanna come home n relax not argue like for real im sorry if i didnt ask u how ur day was wuts the big fucking deal im goin thru HEROIN W/D sheyyytttt!!!!!!
i still dont even know wut the deal is i left for work and didnt even speak 2 her
 
totach said:
pharcyde-thanx for your input ya man i really do love her no ? bout that she is a great girl that ive put thru alot n always stuck by my side thats y im so confused like if she was a bitch fine id tel her fuck off!!! but shes not shes great its just now that im clean n i dont pay her much attention shes bugging out n i hate coming home to that after work u know? i wanna come home n relax not argue like for real im sorry if i didnt ask u how ur day was wuts the big fucking deal im goin thru HEROIN W/D sheyyytttt!!!!!!
i still dont even know wut the deal is i left for work and didnt even speak 2 her
Click to expand...

Well just tell her that youll start coming around more and more in the attention department, its just part of a process
 
Some over the top resposes here 8) . A order of protection? Wtf man she didnt pull a glock on him and stick it to his head so yeah abit overkill there.

As for your g/f man if she hasent gone through it then she doesent know what it's like. Someone who hasent kicked junk cannot possibly understand what it's like. Ive always said that when people get on my case about it. It would be very hard to understand what it's like to need opiates if youve never used them because it often takes place over everything. And when your kicking the last thing you wanna hear is someone ragging on you cause that can bring out some american psycho shit there.

Me and my former g/f both kicked IV morphine habits together and it was actually easier for me when i had someone around oddly enough. I never got the heebie jeebies (my most feared post withdrawal symptom) after i quit which made thing alot easier. She had a rougher time quitting for a number of reasons even though id ben using for years and shed been using for months. I was sick longer but the psychological withdrawals where worse with her.

Anyway good luck man. Have you ever tried talking to her about this? Like sit down and actually talk to the woman? That might work. Hell it's worth a shot.
 
^
yes guys we have spoke about it numerous times but i think she still has the wrong idea cuz i always used to lie to her i used to get clean for a day or 2 n go back but she would still think im clean n she got used to that thinking im clean but i really wasnt now that im really 11 days clean : ) n i asked her babe didnt we speak about this allready like i told u im gonna hav 2 b selfhish 4 a bit i know its not fair like im her b/f she has issues 2 even tho its not drugs n im not there 4 her but shit im not in the mood even tho it really helps havin some1 around it also makes it harder also and also i hav no sex drive whats so ever n i kinda feel bad bout that also like i said b4 she is 20 i am 24 n when i was still using we had sex like 5 times a day now i really hav 2 force myself to hav sex its not fun : ( i just need some time 2 heal i wish she can just understand that
paranoid-wut happened wit that girl?
 
paranoid-wut happened wit that girl?
Click to expand...

She has only touched the needle twice since we quit. The same amount of times i did it well no thats not true ive shot 3 times since we quit. Just on 2 different occasions.
 
^
maybe my ? was alittle personal but i was talkin bout the relationship
as for me,me n my girl just broke up : ( im really sad but i guess this is the best for both of us atleast for now n hopefully if we are ment to be together then one day we will be but i cant be there for her now so i cant keep hurting her but im hurting to i dont wanna loose her this sux anyways thanx for evreything guys/girls
by the way im still clean
 
totach said:
^
maybe my ? was alittle personal but i was talkin bout the relationship
as for me,me n my girl just broke up : ( im really sad but i guess this is the best for both of us atleast for now n hopefully if we are ment to be together then one day we will be but i cant be there for her now so i cant keep hurting her but im hurting to i dont wanna loose her this sux anyways thanx for evreything guys/girls
by the way im still clean
Click to expand...

Well i just had to move thats it. Nothing big happened at all.
 
IME you're gonna have to drop her. Sobriety should be your #1 priority, and it sounds to me that she does not understand that addiction is a disease, not because the addict is weak and wants attention. I hope you can either find a way to get your point through her thick F@$#%! skull, otherwise you gotta let her go.

You must never forget that staying sober is THE most important thing, Do not let others get in the way of your eventual happiness. I dont know this girl but if she makes generalizations about the people on BL like were druggies, she seems like a, no offense, judgemental bitch and people who judge people are usually insecure themselves and they do not want others to succede because they have a mind trip where they gotta be better than everyone else.

All in all good luck and try to stay sober, it would be a hell of a setback to relapse after all the phys. WD's are gone.

I wish you nothing but the best;)
- justin
 
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