girlfriend stole my opiates. is this helping or not? please give us input!!

[leojay]

Mods, please move this to where it fits best.

So, I'm physically addicted to opiates, have been for 3 years. Currently I use one or two bags of pretty decent smack IV a day. I had about 3 quarters of a generic OC 40mg in a plastic bag. I got home, and it was gone.

i told my ol lady about my problem, and shes trying to help.

My girlfriend has taken it, possibly destroyed it. I'm trying to explain to her that this doesn't help me, and this is just going to drive me to use again and make me angry with her. I want to quit, but its not easy.

So she has the information of a detox facility written down, she keeps saying "just go." and "just stop"

i've tried to explain addiction to her a million times, but its quite the enigma...

so, of course i need to go to a detox facility, but i'd like to taper down with her help even.

but when i present this idea to her she says "you'll just steal them from me."
and she says "go to rehab now or you're never going to go!"

she tells me i'm going to fail, and i try and tell her this is counter productive.

so, i'm trying my hardest not to make you all pitty me and be on my side, but what do junkies do best, eh?

so, i was hoping someone could explain how taking my drugs which i am dependent on is not productive right now, and how she needs to have patience with me.

or, if you think that maybe its best for me to go cold turkey, please explain why...

she's never been high on opiates, she's never been in withdrawal, she thinks that cold turkey is the only way to go.

i personally have tried CT and honestly i end up using before the end of the 3rd day every time...

sometimes because ct wd is so bad i just want to use to make up for the pain i felt during wd... even if im over the physical wd

I know all of this is MY problem, but i think we need some input.

Thanks in advance!

 

[User Name Here]

Sounds like you're just making excuses =/ A detox facility can cut this part out entirely and move you along at a much faster rate. Listen to your girlfriend as she obviously has your best interests at heart. You're lucky to have someone who's on your team.

 

[flacky]

Would she agree to you tapering with subs?

 

[Pillthrill]

^ That is your best bet. But you only want to do it as a way to get better, not a way to get her off your back. It isn't going to help your relationship just to PRETEND to get better either...

 

[flacky]

When telling her about subs, you should explain that you wouldn't steal the meds because you effectively can't get high on them.....

 

[leojay]

thanks, the plan is suboxone, just like a 2 week taper or something...

she just thinks i shouldnt be allowed to feel comfortable during wd because its my fault im in this position in the first place...

the hardest part is that i agree with her, but not about going cold turkey.

no one should have to feel full on opiate wd if they dont have to.

but she thinks i think that way because i'm spoiled.

which i am... but... i dunno..

and i think part of me isn't ready to stop yet...

i REALLY enjoy heroin... but its common sense, heroin = bad right?

she just thinks this whole thing is TOO simple, and all i have to do is... nothing...


thanks for the input guys...

d-_-b

 

[Pillthrill]

We all have made choices. But it is very difficult to put ourselves in each other's shoes. An addict and a non-addict who has never felt wd have trouble understanding where the other comes from. That much is obvious. I personally never have had opiate withdrawals, meth was pretty bad for me though.
And you are right, there is no reason for it to hurt as much as it does if it doesn't have to.
If she cares about you she won't want you to be in pain. It hurts us when our loved ones hurt. Try to approach her with that kind of an idea. And nothing is too simple. It could be the solution. Perhaps if you told her that you would continue to try to get better IF the taper didn't work. Perhaps then she would be more on board?

 

[Moral Decay]

Mods, please move this to where it fits best.

So, I'm physically addicted to opiates, have been for 3 years. Currently I use one or two bags of pretty decent smack IV a day. I had about 3 quarters of a generic OC 40mg in a plastic bag. I got home, and it was gone.

i told my ol lady about my problem, and shes trying to help.

My girlfriend has taken it, possibly destroyed it. I'm trying to explain to her that this doesn't help me, and this is just going to drive me to use again and make me angry with her. I want to quit, but its not easy.

So she has the information of a detox facility written down, she keeps saying "just go." and "just stop"

i've tried to explain addiction to her a million times, but its quite the enigma...

so, of course i need to go to a detox facility, but i'd like to taper down with her help even.

but when i present this idea to her she says "you'll just steal them from me."
and she says "go to rehab now or you're never going to go!"

she tells me i'm going to fail, and i try and tell her this is counter productive.

so, i'm trying my hardest not to make you all pitty me and be on my side, but what do junkies do best, eh?

so, i was hoping someone could explain how taking my drugs which i am dependent on is not productive right now, and how she needs to have patience with me.

or, if you think that maybe its best for me to go cold turkey, please explain why...

she's never been high on opiates, she's never been in withdrawal, she thinks that cold turkey is the only way to go.

i personally have tried CT and honestly i end up using before the end of the 3rd day every time...

sometimes because ct wd is so bad i just want to use to make up for the pain i felt during wd... even if im over the physical wd

I know all of this is MY problem, but i think we need some input.

Thanks in advance!

What you are doing is called rationalizing. You are not capable as a junkie of tapering your dose with out assistance whether you believe you are or not. She is correct you will inevitably end up stealing the drugs from her to get high. You may have all the best intentions of getting well but when that pain and sickness sets in all you will care about is getting well. She has taken and destroyed your Oxy in an attempt to force you to make a decision to either continue to use or to go to treatment. This is an ultimatum, this is a technique employed in interventions and it does work. Basically you are being forced to chose between her and sobriety or continuing to destroy your life and your health with smack.

If you care about your health and your relationship you should take her advice and go to the detox facility. Detox in a facility is not cold turkey and will be much more comfortable and reliable than anything you can do at home with street drugs.

If you have a serious addiction they might put you on a maintenance treatment, or taper you off. Either way it will not be cold turkey.

Sounds like you're just making excuses =/ A detox facility can cut this part out entirely and move you along at a much faster rate. Listen to your girlfriend as she obviously has your best interests at heart. You're lucky to have someone who's on your team.

Your advice here is sound and what is best for the OP, do not take it personally when he tries to explain away your logic, that is the nature of opiate addiction. His addiction will not allow him to think rationally.

^ That is your best bet. But you only want to do it as a way to get better, not a way to get her off your back. It isn't going to help your relationship just to PRETEND to get better either...

He needs to do what is right for him first and the relationship second. If he is quitting for her he will inevitably fail. The best way to get better is to want to get better for your own benefit. Chances are after he gets sober (if this happens) he will not stay with this woman. Most people who get into relationships while high find that their values change once they sober up. Either way I wish the best of luck to the OP and his GF.

 

[Pillthrill]

Yes, but it doesn't have to 100% about him. As long as you start is the point. You need to finish for you...but whatever motivates you there is irrelevant. I do agree that to succeed you have to want it. But pretending to get better and not, is just as bad as continuing to do it for the relationship. The lies just build and build as much as before.
Good luck

 

[Moral Decay]

Yes, but it doesn't have to 100% about him. As long as you start is the point. You need to finish for you...but whatever motivates you there is irrelevant. I do agree that to succeed you have to want it. But pretending to get better and not, is just as bad as continuing to do it for the relationship. The lies just build and build as much as before.
Good luck

I agree with you PT, good point.

 

[leojay]

thanks so much guys, i'm ready, but as you said, the addiction is holding me hostage, and talking for me...

i just feel like the people at the detox center are going to have the same attitude as her...

"SUFFER!!! YOU DID THIS TO YOUR SELF NOW PAY FOR IT!!! SUFFER!!! QUIT BITCHING YOU DID IT TO YOUR SELF!!!"

i'm just scared...

it hurts so much... plus im in chronic pain as it is, which is why i started, and wouldn't want to make myself ineligible for opioid treatment in the future (when i'm responsible enough)

and don't say "you never will be" because i don't believe that to be true. I AM STRONG, I WILL BEAT THIS, and i will use the medicine correctly in the future, i know i can.

also i apologize for my horrendous grammar and over/misuse of commas and ellipses...

love

 

[Moral Decay]

i just feel like the people at the detox center are going to have the same attitude as her...

"SUFFER!!! YOU DID THIS TO YOUR SELF NOW PAY FOR IT!!! SUFFER!!! QUIT BITCHING YOU DID IT TO YOUR SELF!!!"

As long as the one you go to is highly qualified and recommended they will not be of the viewpoint that you should suffer. Detox is hard and these clinics are there to help you to beat it as painlessly as possible. They want you to succeed. Detox clinics with bad reputations do not continue to get paying customers.

and don't say "you never will be" because i don't believe that to be true. I AM STRONG, I WILL BEAT THIS, and i will use the medicine correctly in the future, i know i can.

love

I did not particularly mean YOU , i was speaking generally. Of coarse you know yourself better than I know you. Being able to use responsibly is not a quality that most people who have a history of drug abuse posses. This is why addictive drugs warn not to take them if you have a history of drug abuse. As long as you want it and you believe you are ready to be done with it; you can beat it. It will just be easier with a support system and a comfortable detox like a facility can provide for you. Do not let fear prevent you from living a happy, healthy and fulfilling life. If it were a financial matter I could understand not going, but there is no need to be afraid, those people are trained professionals and likely deal with addictions much larger then your own on a daily bases.

 

[totach]

hey man i didnt read other peoples replies so sorry if i say it again but me and you are in the same boat buddy my girl has bin dealing with my addiction for a year now and the final straw was 3 days ago where she spilled water on my tinfoil while i was chasing the dragon and i flipped man i went all out that is not the right thing to do no one can understand the pain we go thru unless they experience it themselves i would suggest taking suboxone for a couple days your habit wasnt to bad you do not need any high doses or anything a couple milligrams the first few days and you can stop after a week and see how you feel the one thing that is true is that you really do need to want to never do it again so my suggestion would be after you stop the subs keep some handy incase u feel like using just take the sub instead sorry goto go to work wish u the best : )

n tel ur girl that ur sorry but if she really wants to help you she has to realise that you need to be alittle selfish for alittle while because u hav to take care of yourself at the moment and not have to have to worry about her hopefully she can understand that my girl didnt but u know what ive bin clean since she left the house its really kinda weird u would think the complete opposite even tho im nearly caved many times in the last 4 days even calling my dealer n hoping he wont show which he didnt thank god i havent called yet 2day so thats a start best of luck bud keep us updated : )

 

[flacky]

she just thinks i shouldnt be allowed to feel comfortable during wd because its my fault im in this position in the first place..

So you should experience some of the most tremendous pain of your life so that you can satisfy some sick standard for her? Hell no. You two have some talking to do.

 

[Moral Decay]

n tel ur girl that ur sorry but if she really wants to help you she has to realise that you need to be alittle selfish for alittle while because u hav to take care of yourself at the moment and not have to have to worry about her hopefully she can understand that my girl didnt but u know what ive bin clean since she left the house its really kinda weird u would think the complete opposite even tho im nearly caved many times in the last 4 days even calling my dealer n hoping he wont show which he didnt thank god i havent called yet 2day so thats a start best of luck bud keep us updated : )

If you want to stay clean the best thing you can do for yourself is to remove his number from your phone and not keep it anywhere. I'm sure you have it memorized so should also do your best to forget it.

 

[totach]

i know that number by heart better then my own phone # sheyyytttt : )

 

[Moral Decay]

i know that number by heart better then my own phone # sheyyytttt : )

LOL i figured. well good luck to you then. =P

 

[batmanplaybaseball]

I went through this same thing. For an entire year my girlfriend tried to persuade me to quit opiates, and over and over i would make justifications like you are doing. 'I will quit when I want to, when i know i can' ' 'you just don't understand addiction' on and on and on...


The thing is that she doesn't understand opiate addiction, and she never will (hopefully). What she does know about is you, and you could probably stand to take her advice on that topic, and to be clear, you are much more important than your opiate addiction.


For twelve months it drove a giant wedge between us in every way you could imagine, and now all of that is probably irreparable.

I always said that having regrets was useless, but i think that anyone saying that has never had to deal with a regret like this.

It might be tempting for you to think that you need more time in your addiction to get out of it, but i think that the more time you spend in there, in that absolute hole, you will only lose more and gain absolutely nothing. Just think about it.

Detox is not that painful. Suboxone helps a lot. You should not be made to suffer, but it will probably not be a complete breeze. Be prepared for a challenge, but everything is a challenge in life except being high(getting high is often a challenge though). If she thinks you need to suffer more than that, it is because you have hurt her by giving her up for opiates. This is understandable but irrational. Make it clear to her that you are no longer living in the past and if she wants to carry around your old opiate corpse then you can't be with her.


Don't make excuses for yourself and don't feel sorry for yourself, these are habits that lead back to drug addiction.

There are many benefits to being clean. Good luck.

 

[paranoid android]

she just thinks i shouldnt be allowed to feel comfortable during wd because its my fault im in this position in the first place...

I honestly hte people with this attitude. So what you did it to yourself maybe you had a good reason? This does not mean you should be treated with any less compassion then a regular person who has any problem. If a friend much less a g/f took my meds because of that reason (or any reason really) id tell them to get fucked pretty fast. Pissing you off is not going to help you get sober.

As for now id say try suboxone or even methadone depending on which youd prefer. I too have chronic pain and i think methadone is supposed to work better isint it? I know it's prescribed for chronic pain as wll as addiction.

 

[flacky]

^ IIRC, subs are better for the taper, whereas methadone is better for maintenance.