Mephedrone Addiction

[Stashes]

Yes you are both spot on. 5 grams . What the fuck was i thinking. It's kind of funny because for the last three weeks or so i was only ordering 2 grams at a time as a way of cutting down my consumption,had a week off the shit,then go and order 5 grams. Total insanity. Engaged debit card before brain. Lesson learnt. Must go to bed.

You were thinking - I've done deadly over the last week so time to treat myself and since my body has had a break, that means I can do a shitload this time. Subconciously of course

Fuck it, don't beat yourself up too much about it. Do remember it and learn a lesson from it. I've had some fucked up mad sessions on meph and the "comedown" I had after was not from low brain chemicals, low energy, whatever - it was from the shame that I'd allowed myself to go so out of control.

As the guys above say, buy small quantities. After my last binge I was planning to stay away from it for a few weeks or a month or so. But then came along a great night out where meph would have suited perfectly so I ended up buying a 1/2g. Actually only did a 1/4g that night, went home when everyone else was going back to a party, felt 100 times better about myself the next day.

 

[Cornish Kai]

Feels like my life... :-(

Right thats it,i am done with meph. I am a TWAT.

Last weekend was meph free and you know what,i actually started to feel "normal" or should i say level after all what is "normal"?

Anyway ,to celebrate my meph free weekend,this silly TWAT [ME] orders 5 grams on tuesday for this weekend. Guess what? yes it's all fucking gone.Done the fuckin' lot in under 24 hours......FUCK....FUCK.....FUCK.....I AM FUCKING SICK OF THIS. I am totally ashamed. Icannot talk to anyone about this which is why i post on this forum.Bollocks to shrinks and do-gooders,been there done that waste of time. I got myself into this fucking mess and am going to pull myself out of it. We make choices in life every day, with meph i made the WRONG CHOICE!!!!

NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF MEPHEDRONE I HAVE ENCOUNTERED

Occasional purpling/reddening of hands
Constant snotty sometimes bloody nose
Insomnia
Constantly thinking about my next session
Abnormal thoughts/thinking bordering on psychotic [rare]
Irritability,shame,anger,grumpiness following session

All these effects have remained hidden to those around me because of my secretive use and i can be very good at bottling things and feelings up though i am sure grumpiness has been noticed.

I MUST NOT TAKE MEPHEDRONE I MUST NOT TAKE MEPHEDRONE I MUST NOT TAKE MEPHEDRONE I MUST NOT TAKE MEPHEDRONE I MUST NOT TAKE MEPHEDRONE I MUST NOT TAKE MEPHEDRONE

i am so sorry for letting down friends and family,even though they don't know why. i am so tired.

Mate, feels like my life at the moment..... friday till sunday morning bing..... no sleep.... hating myself sunday wondering what I've done with my life recently... fighting my brain monday mornging at work then depressed and tierd that evening... though this seems to be the only night i get decent sleep due to overtierdness. Tuesday and wednesday still depressed.... parania and bad thoughts in general..... Feeling better thursday.... friday feeling all good again not planning to go out want a quiet weekend..... friday night comes.... and the vicious circle starts all over again...

 

[effie]

The best way to do it is just not order any, I think. Hard I know but if you can keep that at bay all week while you are feeling rubbish, when it comes to Fri and you fancy some you won't have any.

Doesn't work if you know people/shops selling it, but at least it is more expensive that way so you are less likely to go crazy on it...

 

[naatural]

Mate, feels like my life at the moment..... friday till sunday morning bing..... no sleep.... hating myself sunday wondering what I've done with my life recently... fighting my brain monday mornging at work then depressed and tierd that evening... though this seems to be the only night i get decent sleep due to overtierdness. Tuesday and wednesday still depressed.... parania and bad thoughts in general..... Feeling better thursday.... friday feeling all good again not planning to go out want a quiet weekend..... friday night comes.... and the vicious circle starts all over again...

seriously just don't let yourself buy any more, and let the rest of what you have run out! on the bright side you will return to normal at one point and it will feel incredible

crucial, as people have said earlier, is never to order in bulk!

 

[furrymind]

I have not read all the reports but I believe I have been addicted to mephedrone. It started very simply once a month or so until at uni I managed to find a dealer who like me, loved his drugs. We had a great time on the meph but I slowly realised this is all I was doing. After a particularly heavy four nights with no sleep and very little food (consumed around 2 - 3 grams of meph a day). I managed to get a hold of myself and go home. I found it hard to sleep so sparked a spliff outside, on my way to my room I lost my vision completely and passed out on the floor outside my room. Luckily some friends found me and gave me all the help I needed. This absolute ridiculous state I got myself in did nothing to stop the regular seshs. One night I found myself out as usual and becoming sober did a line. This did nothing i proceeded to continue until the end of the bag with no result. This is when it lost its 'magic' and I think (i dont understand much about brain chemistry but essentially you can run outta the good stuff) my brain no longer made me feel good. I found I would no longer be able to snort and get high as the pain was was too much for my nose. This is when is started bombing grams at a time (I had a very regular and cheeeeap supply). After a good week like this it was time too stop. SWIM smoke a lot of herb and now and have not touched drone for about 1.5 months until tonight were I have 1g a bottle of wine and 'erb to quench my feelings at the end of the night. I'm not sure why i'm doing this but I am. I hope to have regained control of myself and be much much more respectful to myself.

peace and love to everyone xx

 

[naatural]

sounds like you did well to overcome the month and a half, especially if your friends appear to act as a push factor for getting mashed!

hope you're indulgence tonight does not lead to a renewed habit x

 

[bresker]

First weekend in nearly a year I haven't taken any. Go me.

Although I have got a better grip on it recently, haven't redosed the last 3 times.

And it's more m1 than meph in the bombs.

At the same time, have stopped beating myself up over my usage.

No point mentally whipping yourself, and allowing others to do so.

Low self-esteem will heighten your cravings.

I'm pissed off because one of my teeth has become transparent, though.

 

[perfect haze]

Aye, nothing more likely to reinforce your habitual use than an army of muppets convincing themselves and yourself that you are dependent.

Fiendish, for sure, unhealthy, most definetely. But if you think an addiction can be dropped at a whim cuz you hammered it too hard and then as a result manage to go clean for 6 weeks without any tapering off of consumption then I just beg of you to disregard the whole adventure if you ever wanna flirt with proper addicting substances.

Congrats on doing what makes u feel right though

 

[EFC18]

First weekend in nearly a year I haven't taken any. Go me.

Although I have got a better grip on it recently, haven't redosed the last 3 times.

And it's more m1 than meph in the bombs.

At the same time, have stopped beating myself up over my usage.

No point mentally whipping yourself, and allowing others to do so.

Low self-esteem will heighten your cravings.

I'm pissed off because one of my teeth has become transparent, though.

How did that happen? Is anyone aware of any such long-term effects? You've been doing it weekly for a year - I've only been doing it weekly for 2 months - and my main worry is inducing permenant effects. I feel like I can stop at any time, and I buy in bulk as it's cheaper - so I've actually got about 6g in my house right now, with no desire to do it - so I wouldn't say I was addicted at all.
Long-term health effects will be enough to put me right off, I'd just like to hear the facts about them.

 

[perfect haze]

I done it weekly for over a year, no long term effects that I woulsdnt have expected from doing any stim at the same rate.

Have had no withdrawal issues when I have had a clean week or two, only symptom worth mentioning is the brain zaps which although uncomfortable and no doubt terrifying if u dont know wots going on, are harmless (IMO).

 

[8ft-Sativa]

I done it weekly for over a year, no long term effects that I woulsdnt have expected from doing any stim at the same rate.

Have had no withdrawal issues when I have had a clean week or two, only symptom worth mentioning is the brain zaps which although uncomfortable and no doubt terrifying if u dont know wots going on, are harmless (IMO).

So you have been doing once every seven days for at least a year?

What dose do you take each session?

 

[perfect haze]

Well my life isnt that clockwork....

I'll about 1-2g when i'm on a sesh, rarely any more than that.

Occasionaly I'll do 0.5-1g midweek if I take a fancy to it.

I've on occasion had hideous blowouts where I've smashed like 3-5g in a sesh but I rarely feel the need or the desire to do that much.

 

[Bavanai]

I slowly went from once a month to about 2 times a week, luckily it got illegalized in my country and I haven't used it for almost 3 weeks now, glad that's over, I'm sure that I would've ended up addicted to it, I've got a soft spot for euphoric stimulants and you can say whatever you want about mephedrone but there's one undeniable truth: it feels like heaven. I couldn't bullshit myself even if I wanted to, I knew I'll get addicted but I still continued doing it until it became unobtainable. I'm greatful for that.

Once you try and like it, you can only stop if someone takes it away from you.

 

[perfect haze]

I suppose we go back to the definition of addiction.

At the end of the day even if you had a huge psychological boner for it, once it was gone you'd get over it and not die like wot addictive substances do to you when you abandon them

 

[bresker]

I stick to one line (bomb) by going out and not taking any more with me.

Frankly, I'd rather be on it. I've been a binge alcohol abuser all my life and the last few times I've been out without the meph hit I've just acted like my old dumb self. Managed to blackout, break a jar by bouncing it off my bed head & slept in a bed full of broken glass. I only found out about it when I woke up next morning.

In fact, I've been a binge drug user all my life. I can't really undrstand the mechanisms that make people take things every day. I just get lit up like a christmas tree every weekend.

So meph/m1 every weekend it is - until I find something better or die

 

[EFC18]

I suppose we go back to the definition of addiction.

At the end of the day even if you had a huge psychological boner for it, once it was gone you'd get over it and not die like wot addictive substances do to you when you abandon them

I understand completely. It's about self-control. I've got 5 grams in my house and I take out a gram bag, usually using bout 2/5th a gram when I'm out, go home and put it back in my stash. There is a world of difference between a desire to experience something enjoyable and being unable to resist, and needing it just to keep your body functioning.
Meph is not physically addictive and those who become addicted are just weak. I am not trying to offend anyone, but that's just the way it is.

I mean I'm "addicted" to chocolate. I'll eat bars and bars a day, as much as I know it's bad for me and try to stop, if it's there, I'll just eat it. That's because I'm weak, not because I'm addicted or dependent on it.

 

[Evad]

Meph is not physically addictive and those who become addicted are just weak.

just like crack/cocaine then?
judgemental bollocks out of this thread please

 

[naatural]

Meph is not physically addictive and those who become addicted are just weak. I am not trying to offend anyone, but that's just the way it is.

I mean I'm "addicted" to chocolate. I'll eat bars and bars a day, as much as I know it's bad for me and try to stop, if it's there, I'll just eat it. That's because I'm weak, not because I'm addicted or dependent on it.

No that's not the way it is... you seem to be subscribing to a very ancient thought pattern

Addiction is dependent on your personality. And that has nothing to do with strength/weakness etc, it's all dependent on how your brain chemistry works, as well as your emotional state and vulnerability...

chocolate is hardly comparable to dopamine releasing drugs. addiction to chocolate is very different from addiction to stimulants...

sorry if im being blunt but your post was not very constructive at all

edit: just realised, you sound like one of those people who don't really find fatty foods are any tastier than fruit or vedge out of personal preference (like myself), so you act like you're superior/have more self control when you turn out skinny

 

[sundayraver]

^ You have a point. I'm the same as you, I rarely go over half a gram when I use mephedrone, usually 1/3 of a gram is enough for me in a night and I have a very large bag of the stuff laying around. Uusally me and the missus indulge on a friday or saturday and we both have a desire but no urge to carry on.
If I have a bag of morrisons 'the best' triple chocolate cookies on the other hand it'll be gone before bedtime!

 

[effie]

Mephedrone for me does definitely seem to have an extra fiendish trigger nothing else has. I enjoy chocolate, and alcohol, and many other things, but nothing else leads to such extreme behaviour. Maybe it depends on your personality. I guess it's the dopamine release causing this effect, I'm not sure. I lose all will power in the face of mephedrone! It's a funny one. I would not say I was addicted though, I go weeks without now. And stopping suddenly is no problem (apart from feeling a bit run down for a day or so!)