• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Alcoholism Thread V. ti martwonies

Status
Not open for further replies.
Feeling really good today... amazing how better your workouts are without booze in the system. Also noticed that my cravings are actually decreasing the less I drink. However, I know they will be back over the weekend.

SWIM is cooking brownies up Saturday!!! Should keep me occupied lol. Plus its fun to have a gift to give to friends.

Also, this time around is much easier because I so far have not had the increased anxiety/energy all that much (that shit makes me wince alot).. in fact I am noticing that I do have increased energy (the good kind).
 
Last edited:
Not going to drink today! Feeling pretty positive. Nervous about the 2 hours of work I have to do. I hope everything goes okay. If not then I have a long day ahead of me.
 
Cyc said:
Next week is "reading week" and that means I have no school. I'm worried.. :(
Click to expand...

why are you worried? what would your ideal break look like? what do you need to do to acheive this?

you can do it cyc, you just need a plan! it sounds hokey but it totally works, im telling you. can you go visit your parents?

give yourself treats in lieu, get your books in order, some movies and food, whatever it takes...
 
I've noticed if I don't drink the the amount of coffee I drink drops down big time. Like from 2 to 3 cups to one. Are you still drinking the same amount?
 
I'm happy to say that after a terrible 3 days of stomach issues following a three week vodka bender, I've successfully cut down to just a few beers a night. Maybe I was lucky, because it literally took me those three days of being sick to finish off maybe 5 shots. My stomach felt awful and the thought of drinking made it seem worse. I was just sick of it. So I laid there in bed, sick, with no anxious withdrawals really. No insomnia or feeling like I'm going crazy. I decided once and for all that I am DONE with the hard shit. I'm disgusted by the thought of it, and I don't think I'll be able to enjoy it. So being pretty much sober for 3 days cut out a lot of those daytime cravings, and those I-don't-care-anymore cravings. It was miserable and I had to feel it and let it run through me.

I know even a few beers a night isn't the best thing, but it's a huge step for me. I haven't been drunk in days. Last night I drank that beer sloooooowly. I think I'm going to stick with this cutting down thing. It is great to not wake up hungover and depressed. Maybe I can even learn some moderation.
 
Scott - Caffeine is a rather potent GI stimulant. Almost without exception I'll *go* about 1/2-1 hour after my morning coffee ;) I've talked to other friends and coworkers about this. It seems that this or similar happens to most of the caffeine users I know.

I notice the opposite effect - drinking less makes me want MORE caffeine. I then develop panicky/tweaky effects when I have something with more caffeine than a 12 oz. Diet Coke.

Not having an epic Hallmark holiday is definitely serving as a trigger. I was rudely and abruptly awakened after a night of quality, not alcohol-induced sleep, and I'm not doing anything special for reasons I would rather not get into. I also have had a curve ball thrown into my original 6-month life plan that is not a bad thing, but will require more change (and potential for growth) than I have experienced probably ever. For some reason, today serves as a reminder of that.

I've been using responsibly if at all still. No spirits. No events at which spirits will be served. Not much of a social life for previous two reasons. Every part of life is changing, and fast. If I fall back into bad habits, I'm not going to be able to navigate all of the change. The pressure is on.
 
i havent been sober for any more than 2 weeks since i've been 17 at least, now 21, i wanna give this shit up or at the very least cut down. it makes me physically feel like shit and sometimes after a night of heavy drinking, i wake up with bad anxiety.

i want to quit and i think the only thing stopping me is my mindset. im very pessimistic, i get bored sooo easily (diagnosed adhd, whatever), i have no motivation, i am very shy which hinders me from being social with people, and i keep most of my problems bottled up(no pun). for me, its just way easier to go out, get beer and get drunk, than to deal with boredom and a bad frame of mind in a healthy way. i am not at the point of needing alcohol, and i believe that i could do moderation, its just hard when all of you're friends drink constantly.

good luck to everyone else and their struggles, i cant say i know how any of you feel, but i know how i feel, and its not much fun.
 
^^^

Wow I am the exact opposite.

Anyways no alcohol for me in over 48 hours. Only had one beer on Friday too.

It has only really been slightly difficult around the time that I usually drink... also I wake up in the morning feeling like I am hungover. Its weird, but I remember this happening last time. All in all everything is much easier and milder this time around, so it goes to show that my overall reduction of alcohol consumption has really helped.
 
Last edited:
Hmm, so I have browsed this forum for a few years on and off and finally decided that I would register and make a post (naturally in the alcoholic thread :\). The reasoning, I suppose, is that I have a bit to get off my chest and seemingly no one in "reality" to talk about it with, at least without feeling like a completely self-indulgent weakling heh...

Anyways, I have read most of this thread and can relate to a lot of what people talk about in relation to alcohol used as a, albeit temporary, escape from anxiety/depression.

My foray into daily drinking, unlike most people it seems, truly began at the age of 21 when it suddenly became an easy, cheap method of relaxation and repression. It should also be noted that my family has a history of alcoholism and mental illness (whose family doesnt nowadays ;)), and this sort of put the FEAR of ALCOHOL into me at a young age, as my mother and grandparents are all recovered/recovering alcoholics. Well, needless to say, I eventually expelled this fear and dove in head first after my first few six-packs drinking alone. Prior to this I had been diagnosed with anxiety disorder, social phobia, bi polar type II, depression...well you name it and I've "had" it according to doctors, and have been on a thorough regimen of drugs, of which now I am only currently taking klonopin.

This is becoming far too long of a post, so I will make it brief and cut to my current situation. I recently decided enough was enough (about damn time) and came to the all too true conclusion that alcohol had been controlling my life and daily routines for over a year, and furthermore had been exacerbating my anxiety and depression.

I am now sober (from drinking at least) for almost two weeks, and I do feel a bit better, especially in the mornings, but everyday is still a struggle. But, I do not regret stopping drinking, although I fear relapse is inevitable at some point.

Jesus, control your thoughts man...concise posts....bah
So here's the current problem I am dealing with in my "sober" life...I live with my oldest sibling, and we pretty much drank together every day since we moved into this place, kind of living in a perpetual unreality, in solitude, but together. I love him very much, and he has always been a sort of idol/guardian to me since we were kids.

Alas, now that I have stopped drinking, I feel so distant to him, and he sadly is my closest friend as well as my brother. Yet, I cannot seem to connect with him now that I am not drinking and he continues to do so...and I am certainly not going to advise him to stop, as I believe it is his choice and not mine. :(

Well, I don't know what the fuck this post ended up as, but I guess if it's not anything, at least it's nothing, right?
 
"3 weeks and 1 day sober "......... is an eternity to some..... the local TV just showed a kid who had nearly died from drinking 2 highly caffeinated energy drinks!!! Caffeine allergies are surfacing in the news and becoming more common than you might think. I was wondering if there is anywhere you can go for free treatment for alcohol addiction? I have internet for several hours today so if anyone here knows please tell me. Thanks! Drinking more and more to the point the rest of the family knows.....
 
I've been up and down since the last post. I've been able to take several alcohol free days, especially during the work week, but whenever I have a stressful event at work (I work a very stressful job that deals with children/teenagers often in severe crises) I often justify having a drink. Not getting tanked or anything, but I feel its effecting my workouts which isn't good.

Gotta keep working at it. Also quitting tobacco right now which isn't all that hard.
 
hey guys...

march first and im at the starting over point :\ . back from a vacation that was not quite what i expected. it was amazing but the whole "im not going to drink or smoke" thing went right out the window. i feel disappointed in myself and hypocritical to everyone ive ever told, "go ahead, its easy, quit!" plus its been a rough transition coming home to the bf ive been away from for two weeks.

so, this is day one for me. ive decided to take some milk thistle to help my poor liver readjust to sober life. after the last ten days or so, i can almost hear my organs saying to me, "fuck you!"

my anxiety is way back up again, and on top of it all i have a big test coming up thursday that i have not been studying enough for. so here i go, last day off before i return to work. wanted to check in and see how everyone else here is doing. love and support to everyone here.

BurialAtSea: congrats to you for being sober. like you said, everyday gets better and better. i know its hard to do on your own, especially if it distances you form your loved ones. you have to do what is right for you though, and maybe you can be and inspiration to him. keep your chin up kiddo. :)
 
monchi said:
after the last ten days or so, i can almost hear my organs saying to me, "fuck you!"
Click to expand...

Ohh I know exactly what you mean hun. Not good at all.


I have to apologise for my extended absence in this thread. For a long time it was just too triggering while I was trying to abstain from drinking. And to be honest I wanted to be able to come back in to this thread with some good news. But I have none.

Back in October 2009 I was so ready to quit. I had it all planned out, how I was going to tell my family about my drinking problem and get rid of all the alcohol in our house etc.
But it didn't happen. I can't even remember why it never eventuated.

Fast forward to now, and I've been preeeetty good with my drinking this year but I'm still drinking nearly every day. I think I've cut down the total amount of drinks I have in each binge session, which is something I suppose. My hangovers are getting more and more epic though, which is more than likely a huge indicator that my liver is completely fucked. I'm procrastinating getting my liver function tested because I know the results are going to be deeply concerning.

My boyfriend is going away for 4 weeks at a time, for the rest of the year, starting from next week. And I'm now back at university. Hopefully these 2 things combined will make it easier for me to abstain from drinking (my partner and I are massive triggers to each other, we're both alcoholics). I actually want to try and not drink for the entire 4 weeks that he's away. I really want that. But I'm really scared that I'll do the complete opposite :( I can't afford to do that while I'm studying though.

Anyway, getting a bit carried away now. But I've decided that I'm just going to start being more active in this thread because I'll need the support.

How is everyone doing in here lately? <3
 
Hey n3o, if you don't mind me asking, do you find you're able to study and do homework while having a few drinks?

I find it near impossible unless it's a short assignment. I require very loooong stretches of deep focusing to study, and alcohol kills my ambition.. thus hurting my grades.
 
Well to be honest Cyc, I've only just gone back to uni last week, for the first time in 8 years. So I don't know if I can study whilst drunk. But I don't actually want to find out. I want to use study/homework as a huge incentive to stay sober.

How do you cope with studying and drinking? Are you sober at the moment?
 
Well, I'm trying my best to stick to weekends with various amounts of success.

The biggest thing I struggle with is withdrawal in the evenings. Let's say I drink Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights.. I wake up Monday, go to school, come home and I know I need to study, but instead I try to find ways to comfort myself while my body adjusts to sobriety. I take 1/2 a valium and I watch TV, or zone out on forums, or eat a big meal.. anything to comfort and distract from the shitty feelings.

Tuesday is a bit better and I may be able to get some studying done, but the mind often wanders back to alcohol. Wednesday is better still, and by Thursday it's almost possible to function normally again. Of course, by that time it's pretty much the weekend again.. Time to start the process over.
 
struggling today i can barely type with shakes....not DTs cuz i been drnking at a non alkie rate for ages but im a beeper and my girl has just had a crisis team called out for her dshes havfing a breakdown and im so scared her mum wass a beeper too asansd she threw herself in front of s train, im so scared my girl is gonna hurt herself and im so made at myself for gertting involved with anyone, im so fucked up i shouldnt be around other people they fuck up on my fuckeduppendess....i look for support and comfort and all i casn see are bottles of boozee and shagrp instrumenrts and drugs....i cant occupy this headspace much longefr tho oh and ivee got shngles too and my skin feels lke its on fire and i am being punched in the face. fuck fuck fuyck oh man. please someone come and make this berable....

:( sorry sory
 
Just thought I'd check in here as well, as this thread hasn't been too active in the past few weeks, and my sympathy goes out to all struggling with this :\

Good news, I am still sober from alcohol, almost a full month now...never thought i'd make it this far heh. Bad news is I have some sort of bacterial infection in my throat which is absolutely killing me...pain/fever/barely being able to eat is not fun.

I still have cravings especially when I pick up my brother from work and he'll nonchalantly ask me on the way home to stop at our old store of choice to pick up beers and proceed to drink away. without me :| At least, so far, I can control it, this is my decision...thats what I keep telling myself at least.

This abstinence from drinking has caused me to lose weight at a rapid pace as well, which I am a bit worried about...I guess I never realized how much of my daily caloric intake amounted to from this shit...bah. I am one gaunt looking motherfucker at the moment.

I have for a while had a body image problem, and was quite anorexic prior to drinking. Drinking kinda opened the floodgates to my other addictions: food, smoking constantly...guess it just negated all/most of my psychological inhibitions
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top