^
Oxazepam was the first benzo I ever tried in the few years prior to actually being prescribed other benzos.
Used to love it for sleep, worked very well and I would still feel effects into the next day if I took 100mg+ (relaxation/anxiety-relief). Was a great sleep aid, which I used many times as I began to fall in love with benzos for their ability to turn an anxious, stimulated comedown (E, speed) into a peaceful, anxiety-free slumber. This was probably a big reason benzos began to sink their teeth into me and psychological dependance developed (always HAD to get benzos if I was using stims).
Then the guy who sold me the 30mg oxazepams began selling 1mg and 2mg alprazolam tabs and bars which would knock me right out when I would use them for comedowns. Coming home and having 2-4mg alprazolam, smoking some bongs would almost feel as good as the ecstasy and meth highs I was having while I was out. During these years I only used the benzos for comedowns and could save them for long periods of time without desiring to use them. During that time my connection usually sold oxazepam and alprazolam, and very occasionally diazepam, temazepam and bromazepam. The more I used them, the more I was loving them as I suffered from anxiety anyway.
Slowly but surely my anxiety (social anxiety) worsened (no doubt due alot to the drug use) and I found myself seeing a psychiatrist who prescribed me diazepam, this was the first time I actually acquired them legally after about 3 years of using them, though I had never become physically dependant on them during that time as I never used daily. Now I was using diazepam everyday and eventually became addicted which is when things turned for the worse. I should add, after extended daily use perma-tolerance develops and it becomes very difficult to gain anything from your benzos. I used them sparingly for ~3 years and they always worked a treat every time. But once physical dependance kicked in that all changed. It's like it activated something in my brain and I became more reckless with my drug use, drank more, got into opiates for a while etc and after a while I abused my prescription. Sometimes taking rediculous doses, alot of fucking BAD shit happened during that time which I won't go into. Eventually I said enough and tapered off them and was clean for around a year.
My anxiety started playing up again and I was having other issues going on aswell (massively psychological dependance on marijuana, smoking everyday, morning through until night) This increased my anxiety further and I also developed what my (new) psychiatrist believes to be adult ADD associated with terrible insomnia and mild depression.
He put me back on diazepam (20mg each night) though I treat them much differently now, unfortunately learnt that the hard way though. Though very rarely I'll use a large dose just to obliterate that feeling of anxiety for a while, but most nights I'll just take 5-10mg to keep my brain from the strong physical dependance. I'm also scripted d-amp, so if I'm feeling a little sketchy from them I'll take the full 20mg.
Sorry for the long post and I think I may have already posted my story in this thread before, but my memory isn't so good.
But to answer to threads title 'So who likes benzos?' I'd say I have a love/hate relationship with them. Just use them responsibly (not like I used to) and things should be fine, I say this to those that use daily.
tl;dr - Enjoy your benzos people, they're incredible tools for many things - but don't let them grab you by the balls like they did to me, especially if you have mental illnesses like anxiety disorders. Did I like benzos? I loved them!... Do I like them now? No, not really.
