OP, you don't need to stress on this issue. It's easily fixed. There are a lot of threads on bowel health/opiate use on BL and another site commonly visited by opiolovers/users. In fact, there was a recent thread on the latter site that will provide you with ALL of the information you need. PM me if you need more info on that.
In short, if you are using opiates regularly, make the following changes:
- change your diet to include high amounts of fiber, primarily from fresh vegetables and fruits. 2-3 apples and a couple carrots a day will provide a visible change immediately. Naw mean?
- drink tons of water throughout the day. Not caffeinated drinks, water. Tea/coffee in moderation are fine, but they tend to dehydrate you which will make your problem worse.
- drink a caffeinated beverage in the morning (or whenever you regularly drop the kids off at the pool)
- more exercise, especially in the morning, to get things moving
- stool softeners once in a while. Don't over do it.
You need to be extra-hydrated to make sure that your shit isn't too compacted. What I listed above is guaranteed to fix your problem or at least make it a lot easier to manage. If it's not working well enough, add more fiber to your diet. A good natural fiber supplement is psyllium husk. It's cheaper and more effective than the branded products like metamucil.
None really wants to talk about their shit, but in your case it's really messing with your life and it can cause some painful medical problems as well. You're not alone. I don't know any long-term opiate uses who haven't had to deal with this issue unless they already had IBS.
Save the money you'd spend on plumbing supplies and spend it on your diet. It sounds like you're at risk of being found out by your pops, and that doesn't sound good to me.
. Drinking a lot of fluids is a must. 
