phoenixrain88
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2008
- Messages
- 81
I made tea out of a 9"x3" San Pedro cutting. I drank this in several different spurts, starting around 12 noon and ending around 3pm. My mind was quietly humming along in a pleasing and unusual way, but I wasn't hallucinating. I strolled down a woodland path with trees and animals popping out in such crisp and vigorous detail. The vigor, the life, of everything around me filled me with a quiet joy.
About an hour after that, I smoked some weed with a group of friends.
Immediately everything was wrong.
I began insisting that I needed to leave now. Another person who was smoking with me was having what appeared to be a panic attack, talking about how the weed might have been laced, how PCP can kill you, all of that. His panic infected me.
Lacking a cell phone, I borrowed a toking buddy's. I called a friend to come pick me up. I ran outside and suddenly was lost in the neighborhood. There was no context to anything, my surroundings boggled my mind, I didn't understand, I didn't understand!
I jogged down the street, afraid to run because my heart was pounding so fast and so hard that I thought it might explode, and then saw that the friend who had come to pick me up was already further down the street than I was, headed in the opposite direction.
"Wait," I said. And as full awareness of my impotence, of my inability to attract notice and to be picked up, swept through me, I began to scream. I was screaming at the top of my lungs in this residential neighborhood, and I was tripping. I knew that I was having a heart attack. It was like the panic attack I had the one time I mixed acid and weed except WORSE, exponentially worse!
I knew that I was about to die. My shrieking seemed to take on physical form, shards ripping out through my throat, and nobody cared to hear me, nobody cared to help me, surrounded by people but utterly, utterly isolated. The ragged edges of my scream being pulled out from inside of me materialized as black and red threads tracing the air in front of my mouth.
I ran up to a random car in which a woman was sitting. I actually pulled her door open. Pulled her car door open!! She could have maced me or called the police or anything! That I would do such a thing, rip open the door of a car to yell at someone I didn't even know that she needed to call 911 because I was dying of a drug overdose, conveys the absolute panic and the gnawing, screaming feeling of imminent death which had overtaken me. I was blacking out on my feet and falling into death and I couldn't breathe, I could feel every fiber of my lungs being starved.
The woman called 911 and an ambulance came. My blood pressure is usually 90/60 but was 150/100. My heart rate when I was lying down was 160.
I calmed down. It took about 20 minutes, but I calmed down.
And once in the hospital, I was TRIPPING MY FACE OFF.
The speckling of the hospital tile flooring was arranging itself into the most gorgeous and ornate constellations. Colors were strobing in the auras of objects.
I completely and perfectly noticed and understood the body language of every human being in the vicinity. I was at an intellectual peak. I realized that ordinarily I pay almost no attention to body language etc., that I have no self-confidence whatsoever but that I really ought to. Oh, yes, I had all sorts of illuminating revelations 'n shit.
I ended up coming home and lying on my bed in my dark room and seeing strange and beautiful flowings and etchings and colors and spirals.
substancecode_cactus
substancecode_trichocereuspachanoi
substancecode_mescaline
About an hour after that, I smoked some weed with a group of friends.
Immediately everything was wrong.
I began insisting that I needed to leave now. Another person who was smoking with me was having what appeared to be a panic attack, talking about how the weed might have been laced, how PCP can kill you, all of that. His panic infected me.
Lacking a cell phone, I borrowed a toking buddy's. I called a friend to come pick me up. I ran outside and suddenly was lost in the neighborhood. There was no context to anything, my surroundings boggled my mind, I didn't understand, I didn't understand!
I jogged down the street, afraid to run because my heart was pounding so fast and so hard that I thought it might explode, and then saw that the friend who had come to pick me up was already further down the street than I was, headed in the opposite direction.
"Wait," I said. And as full awareness of my impotence, of my inability to attract notice and to be picked up, swept through me, I began to scream. I was screaming at the top of my lungs in this residential neighborhood, and I was tripping. I knew that I was having a heart attack. It was like the panic attack I had the one time I mixed acid and weed except WORSE, exponentially worse!
I knew that I was about to die. My shrieking seemed to take on physical form, shards ripping out through my throat, and nobody cared to hear me, nobody cared to help me, surrounded by people but utterly, utterly isolated. The ragged edges of my scream being pulled out from inside of me materialized as black and red threads tracing the air in front of my mouth.
I ran up to a random car in which a woman was sitting. I actually pulled her door open. Pulled her car door open!! She could have maced me or called the police or anything! That I would do such a thing, rip open the door of a car to yell at someone I didn't even know that she needed to call 911 because I was dying of a drug overdose, conveys the absolute panic and the gnawing, screaming feeling of imminent death which had overtaken me. I was blacking out on my feet and falling into death and I couldn't breathe, I could feel every fiber of my lungs being starved.
The woman called 911 and an ambulance came. My blood pressure is usually 90/60 but was 150/100. My heart rate when I was lying down was 160.
I calmed down. It took about 20 minutes, but I calmed down.
And once in the hospital, I was TRIPPING MY FACE OFF.
The speckling of the hospital tile flooring was arranging itself into the most gorgeous and ornate constellations. Colors were strobing in the auras of objects.
I completely and perfectly noticed and understood the body language of every human being in the vicinity. I was at an intellectual peak. I realized that ordinarily I pay almost no attention to body language etc., that I have no self-confidence whatsoever but that I really ought to. Oh, yes, I had all sorts of illuminating revelations 'n shit.
I ended up coming home and lying on my bed in my dark room and seeing strange and beautiful flowings and etchings and colors and spirals.
substancecode_cactus
substancecode_trichocereuspachanoi
substancecode_mescaline
Last edited:
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
