Meth/Amphetamines: Serious Discussion Only - V.2: MERGED with amps quitting thread

[gloeek]

Day 2 of no meth at all...amphetamine, yes, but no meth.

 

[Sweet P]

^ 2 days is good! Keep it up! If you've been using heavily, you might notice withdrawal symptoms soon (they usually hit me on the 3rd day clean), but try to stay strong and resist the urge to use again. Be careful with the amphetamines too. Try to use those in moderation if you can.

 

[Jabberwocky]

wow, noones posted in nearly a month! how is every going at the moment?

i've got a few points of crystal i'm sitting on at the moment but havent found the urge to use it just yet i still haven't used since my last shot either.

i was going to use this over the weekend but opted not to. fact of the matter is i ran out of morphine a few days early and don't have enough benzos on hand to help ease the comedown - it's either tough it through without benzos or use enough so i knock myself out, i don't like anything in between. i know it's sitting there but i'm complacent and don't have the constant thought of using it run through my head.

 

[Sweet P]

^ Yeah, it has been pretty quiet in here lately! Where is everyone?

I'm glad you've been managing to resist the urge to use... I think I'd still struggle to sit on a few points without having any! But I'm doing well. I've been off meth for over a week now, using weed and benzos to help manage the withdrawals. They are slowly becoming easier to deal with.

Last week me and drug_wench went on a little holiday into the country, which also really helped. It was good to get away from the city and all our contacts there. We've decided to try using a tiny amount every fortnight together, as a treat. But if our usage starts to increase again, we've agreed to both finally stop using for good. We'll see how it goes!

 

[Jabberwocky]

thats great to hear:D keep on keepin' on, you two seem a great support network between each other, its so good to hear! a week off is a huge accomplishment in my view, especially knowing about each of what youve both been going through. its great to hear that from both of you

be careful with the treats though. ive used the same strategy in the past and its only backfired on me. admitedly i was on my own, without much support let alone a s/o, so im sure you two girls will be able to work through it together. youve both got my full support of course and i believe in you two

ive been drinking this afternoon/tonight and had the urges to use but ive managed to keep them at bay. instead im researching possible rehabilitation programs sought out by another great darksider credit to kc this is all based around my opiate addiction though

 

[the_ketaman]

Ever since I got on the methadone program and realized that I can no longer get high off of my beloved opiates ive really been craving a smoke or possibly a shot of some crystal. The good thing about it is that Ive used meth for at least 5 years now and never become even remotely as messed up from meth as i did from opiates, meth is expensive too and opiates were dirt cheap until the tolerance set in :/ I manage to keep the meth use to maximum once every 2-3 months and only one or two nights, no more.

Great to see people looking out for each other on here makes me smile.

 

[Sweet P]

thats great to hear:D keep on keepin' on, you two seem a great support network between each other, its so good to hear! a week off is a huge accomplishment in my view, especially knowing about each of what youve both been going through. its great to hear that from both of you

be careful with the treats though. ive used the same strategy in the past and its only backfired on me. admitedly i was on my own, without much support let alone a s/o, so im sure you two girls will be able to work through it together. youve both got my full support of course and i believe in you two

ive been drinking this afternoon/tonight and had the urges to use but ive managed to keep them at bay. instead im researching possible rehabilitation programs sought out by another great darksider credit to kc this is all based around my opiate addiction though

Thanks leftwing! Yeah, we're gonna be very strict about the treats. Just one point each, every two weeks. Nothing more. We know each other well enough, so we'll be able to tell if one of us is using more than she should (I get the dreaded "spider bites" on my face with regular use, so it'll be pretty obvious if I'm returning to my old habits!).

 

[Jabberwocky]

Ever since I got on the methadone program and realized that I can no longer get high off of my beloved opiates ive really been craving a smoke or possibly a shot of some crystal. The good thing about it is that Ive used meth for at least 5 years now and never become even remotely as messed up from meth as i did from opiates, meth is expensive too and opiates were dirt cheap until the tolerance set in :/ I manage to keep the meth use to maximum once every 2-3 months and only one or two nights, no more.

Great to see people looking out for each other on here makes me smile.

funny you mention that. as soon as opiates took over my life meth took a back seat, especially since id been concentrating on my pain management. im glad to hear youre keeping the meth to a minumin ketaman:D its great hearing that! ive followed you through most of this and its overwhleming to hear! keep up with it, you know im only a pm away as usual im in much the same place as you!

Thanks leftwing! Yeah, we're gonna be very strict about the treats. Just one point each, every two weeks. Nothing more. We know each other well enough, so we'll be able to tell if one of us is using more than she should (I get the dreaded "spider bites" on my face with regular use, so it'll be pretty obvious if I'm returning to my old habits!).

thats great to hear, ladies:D dont be afraid to be frank with each other or share concerns between each other - it may be hard to confront initially but it will pay off in the end. it's great reading about to progress of you two youve got my full support behind you both, i know you can do it!

 

[Sweet P]

thats great to hear, ladies:D dont be afraid to be frank with each other or share concerns between each other - it may be hard to confront initially but it will pay off in the end. it's great reading about to progress of you two youve got my full support behind you both, i know you can do it!

No need to worry about that... neither of us are the type to hold back our opinions! We've already had some little "disagreements", mostly over my benzo use, but I'll say no more about that in case she's reading this. :D

 

[Jabberwocky]

heh, i expected as much from the both of you ill check this tomorrow when i wake up; im gonna go pass out now.

to you both

 

[Sweet P]

Grrr... the cravings are back with a vengeance tonight!

 

[Jabberwocky]

^im feeling you on that dude! im craving right now as i type this, though its my own fault.

im a little drunk and high on other shit and ive been talking to a mate about IVing drugs and other things like that. knowing im sitting on the gear still and not shooting it is taking a bit of will power, though im managing alright. i thought i would just get it off my chest to release a little more weight.

im acting as jesus tomorrow again - building a deck and cover tomorrow, building work - during the day/afternoon for my brother so i cant really go blasting off tonight anyway - i wouldnt go through with my plans ive already agreed to with my brother and sister in law. and i dont want to go letting them down right now, after the support ive been receiving from them

think it through steve, think it will only be that much better on a night when youre not tied down into plans already.

 

[Sweet P]

I've been off meth for a couple of days and won't be scoring any more for another week or so. That's the agreement I've made with drug_wench - plus I'm back to being poor after giving up a few little jobs that helped to fund my addiction, so I can't really afford much at the moment anyway.

Withdrawals have started biting me today... I've been feeling anxious, depressed, and unable to sleep. I hate how meth has such a hold over me. Drug_wench is doing really well. In fact, she's still got some gear left in the last bag she bought. Mine has been empty for days. I've got no self-control when it comes to meth. If I score a bag, I just keep using and using until it's all gone.

 

[Sweet P]

How are you doing, leftwing?

Me and DW are still doing pretty well... we're sticking to our agreement of using only a point each, once a fortnight. My self-control sucks, and I tend to go through mine pretty quickly, but I'm gonna try to make it last the whole fortnight this time - and have some days when I don't use any at all! I've never been able to sit on a bag before, but I'm spending the week with DW so I'm sure I'll find ways to keep myself distracted. :D

 

[Sweet P]

Hello everyone

I am somewhat new here. I think I am a meth addict even though I don't use every day. I feel like my life spirals out of control whenever I use. I used to only use every once in a while but I am starting to use more and more. Someone I know started to make it and when they call me it's like I can't say no.
My priorities have been messed up because of me getting high. I skip school, call in to work, etc. I never used to be like that. I binged for a few days and now I am paying for it. My mouth is hurting, my hand is hurting from drawing for hours and hours, and I have been getting light headed and dizzy. I feel so depressed but I don't know why. I feel like I'm not even in reality.
I haven't done any meth in 2 days. It would be so easy to just go get more but that would just start the cycle over. Every time I use I feel so ashamed and guilty. I want to quit for my health and well being. I don't know why I thought I wouldn't get addicted when I have been addicted to other things before.

Welcome! Personally, I don't believe someone has to be using a drug every day to be an addict. Addiction happens when you lose control to the drug - the amount or frequency of the usage doesn't really matter. It does sound like it's starting to seriously affect your life, though. I know it's hard, but maybe you need to try breaking contact with the person who's cooking it, before your addiction becomes even worse. It's best to act upon these things early, before they become unmanageable. Methamphetamine is one of the most addictive (and damaging) drugs around. I wish you the best!

 

[drug_wench]

but I'm spending the week with DW so I'm sure I'll find ways to keep myself distracted. :D

yep, we shud find sum ways to hav a bit of fun

weve bn tweaking all night tho - its nearly 6am and id luv to fill the pipe again but instead i say we both hop in the shower and prepare to snuggle together in bed for the day, wen we get too exhausted

anyway ive only got less than a point left that i got to eke out - were allowed another puff on monday and itll feel amazing cos weve left it so long
shit my last puff was saturday and smoking last night was awesome....only needed a few crystals really!

oh shit, were meeting my dad tonight for dinner, with him and my bro - gd thing i remembered....we definitely need that sleep!!!

but yea, we r helping each other - wen were together (which is most of the time) we dont smoke often at all
oh and i dont shoot up anymore unless the P is totally wet and theres no point smoking it
my veins r too fucked tbh - the circulation in my hands/feet is shocking and my main vein in my left arm has collapsed
so ive bn using the pipe now instead for a gd while - and im starting to see that its got its up-sides, compared wiv injecting
and the fact that my gf smokes....well why wud i shoot, wen i cud share it wiv her uthawise? so Sweet P has helped me equally as much as ive helped her wen it comes to harm reduction during periods of P use (and to make those periods happen less and less!)

 

[Jabberwocky]

How are you doing, leftwing?

Me and DW are still doing pretty well... we're sticking to our agreement of using only a point each, once a fortnight. My self-control sucks, and I tend to go through mine pretty quickly, but I'm gonna try to make it last the whole fortnight this time - and have some days when I don't use any at all! I've never been able to sit on a bag before, but I'm spending the week with DW so I'm sure I'll find ways to keep myself distracted. :D

i ended up having another conscious relapse last week, i mixed the meth i was sitting on in with some morphine and had a pseudo-speedball. i was meant to swap the meth for coke but that fell through and i felt like using it so i did. i had a really good time which was guilt free im struggling with my IV morphine intake, meth is the least of my concern at the moment. ill be able to stay off the meth again for another good while without any problems, maybe a few cravings here and there.

thats good to hear you guys are still going well:D im sure spending the week the DW will definitely help keep your body and mind occupied and meth not even come into the equation! i think being able to sit on a bag can be a good exercise in building up your self control, so best of luck with it! im sure DW will keep you in line if you begin to slip up using only a point ever fortnight is a huge feat in itself.

 

[Sweet P]

One of the worst parts for me is trying to hide my use from everyone. I feel like I am living a lie. When I'm high at work or school, I get paranoid and think that people know I am high. Some people may be able to tell. I haven't used in front of my boyfriend or told him I am using but I am sure he knows something is going on when I am up for days and days doing the same thing for hours and hours. I did a good job staying away from it for a while but eventually I gave in. When I am high I refuse to drive so there's no way I can take care of things. I am so sleepy right now. I have no motivation to do anything at all.
I agree that I should cut ties with the supplier but we all know that is easier said than done. It always seems like when I try to quit a drug is when it is around the most. That always seemed messed up to me. I've been wondering if the stuff I'm getting is even legit anyway. I mean I was high but there's no telling what my friend is cooking up since she just recently started doing it. The stuff she makes doesn't look like the meth I have had in the past.

The trouble is, people eventually will notice. A meth addiction isn't easy to hide, especially if you start using heavily. The combination of the drug itself, the lack of sleep, and the lack of food takes a huge toll on your body - your appearance will definitely go downhill.

I'm not trying to use scare tactics or anything, but just saying from my own experience and the experiences of other addicts I know. The lack of motivation could be due to the drug. After the high, your brain is left with very little dopamine, which can cause tiredness, apathy, depression, and all those other bad feelings.

Unless you know the cook well, and know how they make the stuff, you can never really be certain what your getting (or whether it's been cut with something). You said it doesn't look like the meth you've had in the past... would you mind describing what it looks like to me?

i ended up having another conscious relapse last week, i mixed the meth i was sitting on in with some morphine and had a pseudo-speedball. i was meant to swap the meth for coke but that fell through and i felt like using it so i did. i had a really good time which was guilt free im struggling with my IV morphine intake, meth is the least of my concern at the moment. ill be able to stay off the meth again for another good while without any problems, maybe a few cravings here and there.

thats good to hear you guys are still going well:D im sure spending the week the DW will definitely help keep your body and mind occupied and meth not even come into the equation! i think being able to sit on a bag can be a good exercise in building up your self control, so best of luck with it! im sure DW will keep you in line if you begin to slip up using only a point ever fortnight is a huge feat in itself.

Ah well, I guess relapses are sometimes inevitable. I eventually went to bed at around 6am and have just woken up now, at noon. That damn baggie was the first thing I thought about when I woke. I think it's gonna be a struggle to keep my paws off it, but like you say, it will be a good exercise in self control. It just feels like I'm starving to death, have a fridge full of food, but I'm not allowed to eat any of it! Damn cravings.

 

[Sweet P]

^ Amphetamines sometimes come in powder form... but it could be anything.

You'll never really know, unless you pick up a drug test kit and test it yourself.

 

[Libby]

meth is yuck... not meth-am-friend-a-mine anymore! eewwey