Born With HPPD or something equivalent?

[Choronzon333]

So i've always wondered this and no one has ever answered this question well. I have always seen things that could fit the description of mild HPPD. Since I was a little kid for as long as I can remediable I could always see a certain kind of liquidy motion in walls and almost everything else. Whenever I have looked into the sky since I was a kid I have always seen millions of nearly transparend dots moving around. Also since I was at least 4 I have always seen black form constants in the sky moving around often in fractal patterns. That is to some extent what happens everywhere but is much more noticeable in the sky in the daytime for some reason.

Now I didn't think much of this stuff for years. I asked a few people everynow and then if they saw the same thing and they all though I had a wild imagination, was plane nuts or had visual problems. I have had my eyes checked several times before for general health and the doctors have said they are the most healthy they can be and that my vision is better than 20/20. No noticible defect of any kind to my eyes physically.

At somepoint as a kid or adolescent I gave up on trying to figure out what this was. In having had this happen my entire life I either assumed that everyone saw it and ignored it or Maybe i wasn't actually seeing it?!?!?!??!

Here is the thing though, since I started taking psychedelics withing the last several years I realized that what I was seeing looks alot like the form constants you see on many psychedellics. In fact some of the pasterns that I would see in transparent black or dark colors moving around look shockingly similar to closed eye visuals or patterns that pop up everywhere. Furthermore, on psyedlics the sky would have those patterns accept more intense, clear and apparent. I began becoming quite intrigued. Can anyone explain this? My mother never took psychedelics while I was in the womb and I never ingested psychedelics up into adolescence but I had been seeing these patterns since I was 3, 4, 5? That was just the first experience I remember wondering WTF they actually were.

Was I born with HPPD(i know that is probably inaccurate to say since it didn't arise from drug use), so to speak. Has anyone else had this similar experience? What would be causing this? Was I just born with mildly psychedelic vision or psychedelic visual pathways?

It has always boggled my mind and I figured people here might know.

O and by the way psychedelics haven't left me with anything more than the form constants I had already been singing my whole life. IE... I always saw certain movement in walls and form constants in the sky. After I started psychedelic use these were not any more intense in non psychedelic states.

 

[LooSiD]

Since I was a kid I've seen floaters in the sky and fields of energy moving in certain directions along floors and walls and stuff. Also when I was underwater with my eyes open I'd get a form-constant-like tunnel vision with open eyes that seemed to pulse into the visual field. I wouldn't say that psychedelics and these things are related in the way you assume, just that psychedelics augment what's already there and that's why you saw more/more pronounced versions of these things when you tripped.

 

[Choronzon333]

Since I was a kid I've seen floaters in the sky and fields of energy moving in certain directions along floors and walls and stuff. Also when I was underwater with my eyes open I'd get a form-constant-like tunnel vision with open eyes that seemed to pulse into the visual field. I wouldn't say that psychedelics and these things are related in the way you assume, just that psychedelics augment what's already there and that's why you saw more/more pronounced versions of these things when you tripped.

OK cool. Im not alone. Most other people say i either have mental or visual problems when I bring it up. I wouldn't say i ever see "floaters" by the medical definition but like you said, the moving energy fields and fluidity in most objects are something I do. I wonder if everyone see's like this and they trick themselves into ignoring it because it can't be explained by there limited world view? It makes sense to me on a conceptual level. If you go down to the smallest particles nothing ever thouches, and nothing is static. Even with the limited science we have ppl are beginning more and more to realize that the world is acually made up of energy. I wonder if it has something to do with the nature of subatomic particles and the fact that from what scientists can tell, all matter is made out of energy? I know I can't see on that tiny of a scale but it makes sense that the world would look dynamic rather than rigid like most people describe.

 

[ShaolinBomber]

its not unheard of for people to be born with HPPD like symptoms without ever having taken a drug. Look up the psychiatric condition "palinopsia."

 

[Choronzon333]

thanks man. That's super weird. That seems like it could produce incite into how lsd and other PD's produce visual effects in the brain. If you look at my brain and it is a much less severe version of acid visuals that must mean something significant about the way I think or at least process visual stimuli.

 

[Choronzon333]

wait I read a description. It sounds like I may have this but it only explains some things. I do get the after images for sure, both positive and negative. However, Some of them aren't after images at all, like if I close my eyes in a totally black area with 0 light literally, I will see patterns in the dark like u would on Psychedelics but much less noticable. What it is like is its always there but when you take the drug you sense it better and it is more defined it bizarre. It is like this...

If thre was always music running everywhere you went, accept there is nowhere it could be coming from. You hear it but you can't quite tell what it is and you tune it out alot because it mixes with outher sounds right. While on pschedelics its like the music gets turned up significantly while everything else gets turned down so you can hear it clearly and tell what is being played.

 

[sadbot]

I'm in a very similar boat, Chroronzon

 

[ASquishyApple]

yeah thats one of the things about hppd and why its not fully understood. some people exhibit hppd symptoms without every trying a hallucinogen which means that they do not have hppd since hppd must be induced by a hallucinogen

 

[any major dude]

There's obviously a strong genetic component to HPPD. And as its likely a spectrum disorder, there could well be a degree of abnormality in some peoples serotonerigic and GABAergic inhibitory systems that can cause visual disturbances without the presence of a drug.

 

[ShaolinBomber]

wait I read a description. It sounds like I may have this but it only explains some things. I do get the after images for sure, both positive and negative. However, Some of them aren't after images at all, like if I close my eyes in a totally black area with 0 light literally, I will see patterns in the dark like u would on Psychedelics but much less noticable. What it is like is its always there but when you take the drug you sense it better and it is more defined it bizarre. It is like this...

If thre was always music running everywhere you went, accept there is nowhere it could be coming from. You hear it but you can't quite tell what it is and you tune it out alot because it mixes with outher sounds right. While on pschedelics its like the music gets turned up significantly while everything else gets turned down so you can hear it clearly and tell what is being played.

i get this symptom too, as do all HPPD patients. CEV's or clowed eye visuals is what they're called.

 

[Choronzon333]

i get this symptom too, as do all HPPD patients. CEV's or clowed eye visuals is what they're called.

right I know. But I have had this since I was born. And no, my mother didn't take drugs while I was in the womb.

I guess its not that abnormal since other people had it before psychedelics too. Its just weird that I could have natural symptoms resembling HPPD not caused by drug use.

It makes me feel better that other people are on the same boat though. now I don't feel like a nutjob.

 

[sadbot]

Did psychs make it more noticable? For me, The effects got a bit more pronoounced after a few psych experiences. Still not too bad though. It gets a bit rough when I'm going to sleep though. I often here very quiet music now that isn't there. I get up, make sure my ipod, radio, or computer wasn't left on, realize none of them were, and try to go back to sleep, still hearing (almost unnoticeable) quiet music. Also, my closed eye patterns has gotten worse, but I rather enjoy that

 

[cegli]

Yeah, there are a bunch of people like you! Here's a support board for people who've had it become really bad: http://thosewithvisualsnow.yuku.com/

I might be careful with the psychedelics if I were you. It seems you are in a position to develop HPPD much faster than anyone else, considering you already have VS. Sucks, I know :-(.

 

[Shambles]

I get this all the time. If I look out of a window I usually can't tell if it's raining or not cos it almost always looks like there's a light drizzle whether there is or not. I get the really quiet music too. It's often drowned out by the tinnitus though. Not really noticed it get significantly worse from psyche use though.

 

[anarchogen]

fucking hppd. i've had alice in wonderland syndrome since i was a kid and had some eye disorder not hppd cause i hadn't done and hallucinogens until fifteen; but i did split my skull a bit when i was about five so i'm thinking that's where most of it started, cause i had a lot of alice in wonderland syndromes, like my head would look bigger then my body when its actually smaller then my body (i hope?) and intense episodes of microscopia with visual static (much worse), and it still happens.
it feels like the world grows 10 times its size, or shrinks occasionally. the weirdest part is how big traffic lights and signs look, among other objects. my perception of the size of parts on my body are distorted, some times it will feel like i have a huge ribcage and really long neck and balloon hands...

 

[ShaolinBomber]

for anyone suffering from HPPD, or HPPD like visuals who were born with it, there is alot of research being done so dont get too despaired. I honetly believe that within a few years after actual lab testing has taken off, they WILL find the root causes of visual disorders. And i do believe that they will be able to reverse unnecessary DNA coding or synaptic connections that dont need to be there, which would be causing the hallucinations.

 

[Choronzon333]

for anyone suffering from HPPD, or HPPD like visuals who were born with it, there is alot of research being done so dont get too despaired. I honetly believe that within a few years after actual lab testing has taken off, they WILL find the root causes of visual disorders. And i do believe that they will be able to reverse unnecessary DNA coding or synaptic connections that dont need to be there, which would be causing the hallucinations.

I get this all the time. If I look out of a window I usually can't tell if it's raining or not cos it almost always looks like there's a light drizzle whether there is or not. I get the really quiet music too. It's often drowned out by the tinnitus though. Not really noticed it get significantly worse from psyche use though.

Yeah, there are a bunch of people like you! Here's a support board for people who've had it become really bad: http://thosewithvisualsnow.yuku.com/

I might be careful with the psychedelics if I were you. It seems you are in a position to develop HPPD much faster than anyone else, considering you already have VS. Sucks, I know :-(.

THanks for the answers guys. The music for me was an analogy. I don't get sounds really other than faint faint ringer very very seldomly. Just as do most people? But i'm sorry to hear that happens to you guys. As for the visuals bothering me. Since it is really the only way I can ever remember seeing my entire life, I am not disturbed at all. I always thought is was kinda cool as a kid and still do. It just find it equally weird. Thankfully I haven't developed Hppd from psychedelics either. Maybe for a day or two at most after I notice a difference in vision but than after that vision goes back to normal to the same weird form constants i've seen since I was a kid. It never seems to get significantly more pronounced accept when i'm actually ON psychedelics and then when I stop tripping it returns to normal. The only thing that stays for a while relating to vison is my perception of time. 4 a while after I trip, especially if I do it more than infrequently, the world will look like its moving eerily slow. It doesn't really cause any trouble but it just seems spooky like when i'm driving it feels like it takes for ever to get anywhere... Whatever. Thanks for the help!

 

[Vader]

I've always had visual snow, I was really fucking surprised to find out that not everyone sees this way quite recently. I agree that it seems to get worse just before sleep, I don't know if this is because it's more noticeable in the dark, or if there's a kind of synergy with hypnogogia that makes it more intense.

 

[Choronzon333]

That's weird. I never knew it was visual snow. I always thought there was something wrong with me.... when I was a kid and I described it out of curiosity most adults said it sounded like being on drugs or a visual problem... seems like its fairly common. I wonder what the world would look like without it?


O and I get it worst in a dark room too and just before sleep. Maybe worse was a bad word choice. I mean more pronounced. I remember when i was like 6 and I used to sit in my room and night and the walls and dark space would do crazy shit and get fuzzy and run around!

 

[ShaolinBomber]

That's weird. I never knew it was visual snow. I always thought there was something wrong with me.... when I was a kid and I described it out of curiosity most adults said it sounded like being on drugs or a visual problem... seems like its fairly common. I wonder what the world would look like without it?


O and I get it worst in a dark room too and just before sleep. Maybe worse was a bad word choice. I mean more pronounced. I remember when i was like 6 and I used to sit in my room and night and the walls and dark space would do crazy shit and get fuzzy and run around!

visual static stays at a constant, its just that its more noitceable in dark environments.