Re_Animate
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2008
- Messages
- 98
It was my first trip for me.
Totally weird because i was half expecting to.
Im the kind of person that is very afraid of alternate states of mind, because im always thinking about what could go wrong i guess. but i love them at the same time. for instance when i smoked pot i would always FREAK the hell out and think i was gonna die and my heart would explode etc.
My first trip was on mushies, i had WAAAY too many. my friends all took 4. i had 8, i wasnt aware that i had the extra 4 because i was already off my tits.
it started out real great, first thing i noticed was that every light had this large rainbow around it. then i started laughing, A lot. every word anyone said tickled and i couldnt stop. we went to McDonalds and i couldnt stop laughing so i started to walk around to try look casual. then i strolled into the toilet and all i could hear was this real elevator sounding music that almost seemed to be coming from this sort of empty space in my head. thats when i noticed the empty space in my head. i closed my eyes and it didnt look like i was looking at a flat blank eyelid. it FELT like i was looking inside a room. its a real weird trying to imagine but it was cool. and i had the same sensation with the thoughts in my head, they were loud and seemd as though they were being projected from this room, this head space.
out of the blue i hear this deep "mufasa in the sky" voice say "DAAAVID", i turn around and see this urinal looking at me, i have this nice conversation and find out he was just "hanging with his friends".
when i leave the toilet i yell out "I just made a friend" then everyone in the cue looked at me, thats when i noticed how many people were in the cue. it seems like thousands. in fact the entire room was PACKED with people. (the sun had gone down at this point) but i couldnt focus on anyone there, kinda like that optical illusion where you cant focus on the dots because they keep moving.
we leave that place and head towards this "theater sports night" we sit outside and this is where i begin to peak. i notice how noisey everything is. all the people, all the sounds were meshed into this one "djfhaslkdjfhalsjdfhasierupqwerjsdfhlasjdfh" and i couldnt tell what was going on. i found it so overwhelming.
i look out at some people walking towards me, suddenly the background disappears and they start float walking on this mental road that leads into a jug that fills with water that splashes me in the face. then i see the outline of a face in blue dots, then just like a badly encoded DVIX movie the picture comes back in squares and i notice im looking up at this lady who said "are you alright?" and reply "im alive?". turns out i bit through my lip (as in it was holding on by a thread) passed out for a second and stood up.
i wipe my face and see blood on my hand. at this point i think "what happend" and my friend says "you fell over dude", i remember thinking "this is probably a good time to freak out". and thats when all hell broke loose and i ran around telling people im on magic mushrooms and having this incredable urge to go lie down but denying it to myself because it was dark and the minions would get me.
a few friends of mine (who happend to be there) were got me to calm down and took me to a drinking fountain. as we were walking there i remember seeing cars parked on random places and familiar faces getting out of them and looking at me, i just tried to act as though i was ok.
at this point i called my mum and she picked me up. she told me it was alright (i was fully peaking by now) and i felt this HUGE warmth inside (probably because the car was warm and outside was like 0C and i was in shorts and a T shirt)
I get home still sorta freaking out, lay on my mums bed and stare at her tv (which was turned off) watching it skip frames, the shadows were skipping back and forward.
eventually i started thinking i needed to work with this, so i started thinking "lets see if i can control this" and closed my eyes and retreated to my head space. i began to think about bacteria and hello kitty and lots of things and what ever i was thinking my head space hallucination thing would sort of direct itself to.
eventually i came down and for a long time after that i felt really insane. felt like it had brought on a psychos, the reality was i began to fear a normal state of mind. even the minor UP drinking coffee gave me freaked me out.
i got depressed and all sorts and felt the only way to fix it was to go back into a trip. but i didnt have the ability to, mum was keeping a watchful eye.
eventually i started smoking weed therapeutically on my own for a while. first time i felt like i was gonna die, had such a bad panic attack it felt like i wanted to kill myself, told myself i would never do it again. next night same thing. 2 highs later i started relaxing a bit. and now i feel as though there is no such thing as a bad mental state. everything has its pros and cons, and ive learnt that when you feel that you are loosing control, its no big deal, just roll with it, i could just be tired or hungry, it will pass.
And i honestly feel that drugs started and ended my psychotic tenancies
anyone feel similar?
i havent tripped since but do you think i would be ok to?
Totally weird because i was half expecting to.
Im the kind of person that is very afraid of alternate states of mind, because im always thinking about what could go wrong i guess. but i love them at the same time. for instance when i smoked pot i would always FREAK the hell out and think i was gonna die and my heart would explode etc.
My first trip was on mushies, i had WAAAY too many. my friends all took 4. i had 8, i wasnt aware that i had the extra 4 because i was already off my tits.
it started out real great, first thing i noticed was that every light had this large rainbow around it. then i started laughing, A lot. every word anyone said tickled and i couldnt stop. we went to McDonalds and i couldnt stop laughing so i started to walk around to try look casual. then i strolled into the toilet and all i could hear was this real elevator sounding music that almost seemed to be coming from this sort of empty space in my head. thats when i noticed the empty space in my head. i closed my eyes and it didnt look like i was looking at a flat blank eyelid. it FELT like i was looking inside a room. its a real weird trying to imagine but it was cool. and i had the same sensation with the thoughts in my head, they were loud and seemd as though they were being projected from this room, this head space.
out of the blue i hear this deep "mufasa in the sky" voice say "DAAAVID", i turn around and see this urinal looking at me, i have this nice conversation and find out he was just "hanging with his friends".
when i leave the toilet i yell out "I just made a friend" then everyone in the cue looked at me, thats when i noticed how many people were in the cue. it seems like thousands. in fact the entire room was PACKED with people. (the sun had gone down at this point) but i couldnt focus on anyone there, kinda like that optical illusion where you cant focus on the dots because they keep moving.
we leave that place and head towards this "theater sports night" we sit outside and this is where i begin to peak. i notice how noisey everything is. all the people, all the sounds were meshed into this one "djfhaslkdjfhalsjdfhasierupqwerjsdfhlasjdfh" and i couldnt tell what was going on. i found it so overwhelming.
i look out at some people walking towards me, suddenly the background disappears and they start float walking on this mental road that leads into a jug that fills with water that splashes me in the face. then i see the outline of a face in blue dots, then just like a badly encoded DVIX movie the picture comes back in squares and i notice im looking up at this lady who said "are you alright?" and reply "im alive?". turns out i bit through my lip (as in it was holding on by a thread) passed out for a second and stood up.
i wipe my face and see blood on my hand. at this point i think "what happend" and my friend says "you fell over dude", i remember thinking "this is probably a good time to freak out". and thats when all hell broke loose and i ran around telling people im on magic mushrooms and having this incredable urge to go lie down but denying it to myself because it was dark and the minions would get me.
a few friends of mine (who happend to be there) were got me to calm down and took me to a drinking fountain. as we were walking there i remember seeing cars parked on random places and familiar faces getting out of them and looking at me, i just tried to act as though i was ok.
at this point i called my mum and she picked me up. she told me it was alright (i was fully peaking by now) and i felt this HUGE warmth inside (probably because the car was warm and outside was like 0C and i was in shorts and a T shirt)
I get home still sorta freaking out, lay on my mums bed and stare at her tv (which was turned off) watching it skip frames, the shadows were skipping back and forward.
eventually i started thinking i needed to work with this, so i started thinking "lets see if i can control this" and closed my eyes and retreated to my head space. i began to think about bacteria and hello kitty and lots of things and what ever i was thinking my head space hallucination thing would sort of direct itself to.
eventually i came down and for a long time after that i felt really insane. felt like it had brought on a psychos, the reality was i began to fear a normal state of mind. even the minor UP drinking coffee gave me freaked me out.
i got depressed and all sorts and felt the only way to fix it was to go back into a trip. but i didnt have the ability to, mum was keeping a watchful eye.
eventually i started smoking weed therapeutically on my own for a while. first time i felt like i was gonna die, had such a bad panic attack it felt like i wanted to kill myself, told myself i would never do it again. next night same thing. 2 highs later i started relaxing a bit. and now i feel as though there is no such thing as a bad mental state. everything has its pros and cons, and ive learnt that when you feel that you are loosing control, its no big deal, just roll with it, i could just be tired or hungry, it will pass.
And i honestly feel that drugs started and ended my psychotic tenancies
anyone feel similar?
i havent tripped since but do you think i would be ok to?
