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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Let's hear some good insults

I can't be botherd to do all of the quotes but yes guys, it is an absolute joke that they sent me on that course.

Back to insults, this is one of the best in history and I can't believe that nobody else has thought of this for a good example of a British insult:

Lady Astor, aghast at a party. "Mr. Churchill you're drunk!"
Mr. Churchill: "And you, Lady Astor, are ugly. As for my condition, it will pass by the morning.
You, however, will still be ugly."
 
Thanks for posting it, Doses. May say something about us Brits that the most popular thread three nights running has been how to swear creatively though :D

PS: The way Americans pronounce "twat" has irritated the shit out of me for a long time so spread the word ;)
 
Shambles said:
Thanks for posting it, Doses. May say something about us Brits that the most popular thread three nights running has been how to swear creatively though :D

PS: The way Americans pronounce "twat" has irritated the shit out of me for a long time so spread the word ;)
Click to expand...

I am so glad that I am not the only one who is annoyed by this! Too Many Doses, we will give you 12 months to make this common knowledge all over the States!
 
Wahslab said:
I can't be botherd to do all of the quotes but yes guys, it is an absolute joke that they sent me on that course.

Back to insults, this is one of the best in history and I can't believe that nobody else has thought of this for a good example of a British insult:

Lady Astor, aghast at a party. "Mr. Churchill you're drunk!"
Mr. Churchill: "And you, Lady Astor, are ugly. As for my condition, it will pass by the morning.
You, however, will still be ugly."
Click to expand...

fuck me you dragged that out :D

Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!"
Winston Churchill: "Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."

much funnier if you cut it down IMO
 
Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!" Winston Churchill:
"Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."


^have actually borrowed that one myself when ive been in a bad mood - though slightly modified.

I'm extremely, irrationally, unnaturally tall you see. this brings out mixed comments and reactions in people, depending on situation, location, etc.
usually i couldnt give a fuck, actually if people insult me intelligently or at leastt make some kind of attempt at humour, i usually humour them and go along with it.
just occasionally though (mood depending) there is one that has pissed me off.

sometimes when people stop me when i'm in a hurry to tell me "wow, you are fucking tall", i just flounder at the idiocy of it. do i tell you that your fat? or short?
there's no fucking thought whasoever in it.
"well yeah thanks for pointing that out, i better get a check up. i was 5 foot 9 last night and then i played cards with a witch and now look at me!" arf. i don't know what to say.

so anyway the insult.......
couple of weeks ago, chattin to my wife in the pub quite happily, and some lobotomised gibbon shouts
"fuckin hell mate, you are tall as fuck."
<silence>
"oi! i said you are fuckin well tall mate"
<continue conversing with wife>
"oi lanky at the bar, didn't you hear me? i said you are one tall cunt!"

i sigh and reply loudly -
"yes sir, you are a rude cunt, but at least i have the advantage of being able to sit down.
regardless of posture, there's no hiding the fact that you are, a... rude ....cunt"

just thought id throw that out there.....
 
It is now my purpose in life to correct the pronounciation of twat from here forth ;). I glad it's a popular thread, shows you guys are really creative. Im sure this thread could go to 1,000 posts without to much repitition lol.
I posted this earlier, I love when Brits make fun of the French. Are there any specific insults for french people? I dont want to turn the thread into a fuck France thread, but with so much history between the coutries there is animosity and therefore has to be god insults.
 
Evad said:
fuck me you dragged that out :D

Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!"
Winston Churchill: "Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."

much funnier if you cut it down IMO
Click to expand...

Copy and paste, meh!
 
garlic muinching, onion sniffing, snail smashing, beret benders and generally arty farty phlegm spouting obstinate frogs from across the pond.
 
Shambles said:
Cheese-eating surrender monkeys is the gold standard anti-frog diss but I was beaten to it by DJ 303 - he's good :\

PS: And a lanky cunt long stream of piss too apparently.
Click to expand...

^lol - left myself open a bit there.

however at least i don't have to wake up every morning and realise i'm shambles the senior moderator -
i heard being a senior moderator was like being a chicken egg - spending so much time couped up and at the end of the day you'll only get laid once, only get smashed once, and the only bird who will ever sit on your face is your mum.
;)
 
Evad said:
Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!"
Winston Churchill: "Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."
Click to expand...
I used to have a T-shirt that said "I'm drunk, and you're ugly, but tomorrow I'll be sober". Always fun to wear out.
 
Whats the difference between the French and toast?
NSFW:

You can make soldiers out of toast



old but good :D
 
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