^Well, then you're pretty much out of luck. Poppy pod tea (or any other morphine/codeine extraction from decorative/flavorful poppy products), alcohol, dextromethorphan, tobacco, and caffeine are pretty much as good as it gets, from the local supermarket/floral center. Even then, PPT is a definite grey area.
Peyote cactus has mescaline (which would seem to produce the least bad trips of any psych) and some other active alkaloids, some of which will make you puke. You may have to dry the plant material for easier consumption. There's also a pretty simple extraction of DMT from some legal, internet-purchasable plants. You have to wait for your order to come in and then do shit to the plants, but if all others are out, then these are some of the best psychedelics that you can have with just a small wait or some common solvents. Mesc and DMT are some of the best psychs, period. While you can purchase these legally, this is another grey area, as you would be processing them for human consumption.
There are a bunch of legal chems that get put in tablets for "legal high" distributors, but they're only legal because all their side effects.