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Sports & Gaming Moderators: ghostfreak
A serious thread about online poker
- Thread starter Fjones
- Start date
Bedhead
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2009
- Messages
- 225
And then there's all the smaller guys (who probably don't want to be mentioned) that bet. I think on life of ivey he said he had a a 200k bet w/ Daniel Negraneu....
Fjones
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2008
- Messages
- 3,326
Poker rant. (This does not apply to anyone here.) I hate poker players. I despite all of them (except the people here). They are a bunch of 75 IQ degenerate loser donks and I want to punch them all thorough my monitor.
1) Some loser idiot clown decides to type in the chat box after a hand, “Oh man, I folded ______” on a board where ____ would make a big hand. Yes, you idiot, you stupid moron, you folded _____ because _____ is a SHITTY HAND and it was an easy fold! Do you really need to type in that you folded it? Who cares? You FOLDED!!!!! I mean, one time out of 10,000 when you fold 2 7 offsuit, you would have flopped a boat had you stayed in! BIG ****ING DEAL! SHUT UP!
Or, someone folds TT to an all in, and a short stack calls. The players have 99 and 67 s. The 67 s was short stacked. A 9 hits. The idiot who folded TT says, “Whew, glad I folded my TT.” What !??????????? What!????????????????? Are you retarded? You are GLAD YOU FOLDED TT TO 99 ??? WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Or, some idiot has 5 6 offsuit on a board of A K 5 and the turn and river are 6 6. HE says, “Oh man, I folded a boat!”
AAARGh! You are retarded! You did not FOLD a boat! You folded bottom pair! Why are you so stupid!? You should not be allowed to drive a car, vote, or handle money! You are a ****ING MORON! Shut up! No one cares!
2) Some hand happens, such as AK against AA on a board of A 9 5 2 2. Of course I have the AK. Anyway, some idiot NOT in the hand says, “nice hand.” What!???? Huh!?????? Nice hand?? Why? How? It was a basic hand where one person gets crushed and the hand will play out the same way every time. Why the hell would someone NOT in the hand type “nice hand?” He is a moron for thinking it and a 10X moron for ACTUALLY deciding to TYPE it in the chat box! There was no intricate play, no strategy, it was a tough hand and it’s over. SHUT UP!
3) Along those lines, now the winner of the hand says, “Thank you.” AAARGH! I hate you! DIE DIE DIE DIE! What the hell are you THANKING him for? He did not compliment you! He made an idiotic colloquial remark. Why must you compound the folly by saying, “Thank you? You are an idiot! If someone walking by in the evening says in passing, “Nice sunset,” do you say “thank you!??”
4) I am short stacked so I push junk and get called by a “monster” like K9. Now the “expert” who busted me has to ridicule me and my play. “J7!? LOL! HA HA HA! LAMO! J7! Your a moron!”
Ok, buddy, listen up –
a) Yes, Jack 7, are you retarded? Did you not see it the first time? Sorry I wasn’t dealt a monster like your K9. I’ll try harder next time to get a better hand with my short stack
b) When I was in second grade I learned how to spell “you’re.” If you can’t, maybe you should refrain from calling people morons.
c) Really? LOL? LMAO? Are you REALLY laughing audibly? **** you and your degenerate uneducated initialisms such as LOL and LAMO. Learn how to speak English.
d) Maybe you should check the scoreboard before you criticize my play. See, your profit has a DASH in front of it. That means you are NEGATIVE ROI. You are a LOSING PLAYER. Why the HELL would a losing player criticize a winning player? Are people really that dumb? AAAAAAAAARGH!
I love hearing their explanations for why they suck. “I win on other accounts. I win at cash games. BLAH BLAH BLAH.” **** YOU! GO do it then and come back and talk trash. Or, my personal favorite, “I never win because of clowns like you playing garbage and beating me." Oh, ok, you LOSE because “clowns” like me play bad hands.
…………………
………………………
Wow. Please just kill yourself. Your existence puts me on life tilt. Go jump off a plane or something.
I swear I had a lot more but I cannot think of them. /rant
1) Some loser idiot clown decides to type in the chat box after a hand, “Oh man, I folded ______” on a board where ____ would make a big hand. Yes, you idiot, you stupid moron, you folded _____ because _____ is a SHITTY HAND and it was an easy fold! Do you really need to type in that you folded it? Who cares? You FOLDED!!!!! I mean, one time out of 10,000 when you fold 2 7 offsuit, you would have flopped a boat had you stayed in! BIG ****ING DEAL! SHUT UP!
Or, someone folds TT to an all in, and a short stack calls. The players have 99 and 67 s. The 67 s was short stacked. A 9 hits. The idiot who folded TT says, “Whew, glad I folded my TT.” What !??????????? What!????????????????? Are you retarded? You are GLAD YOU FOLDED TT TO 99 ??? WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Or, some idiot has 5 6 offsuit on a board of A K 5 and the turn and river are 6 6. HE says, “Oh man, I folded a boat!”
AAARGh! You are retarded! You did not FOLD a boat! You folded bottom pair! Why are you so stupid!? You should not be allowed to drive a car, vote, or handle money! You are a ****ING MORON! Shut up! No one cares!
2) Some hand happens, such as AK against AA on a board of A 9 5 2 2. Of course I have the AK. Anyway, some idiot NOT in the hand says, “nice hand.” What!???? Huh!?????? Nice hand?? Why? How? It was a basic hand where one person gets crushed and the hand will play out the same way every time. Why the hell would someone NOT in the hand type “nice hand?” He is a moron for thinking it and a 10X moron for ACTUALLY deciding to TYPE it in the chat box! There was no intricate play, no strategy, it was a tough hand and it’s over. SHUT UP!
3) Along those lines, now the winner of the hand says, “Thank you.” AAARGH! I hate you! DIE DIE DIE DIE! What the hell are you THANKING him for? He did not compliment you! He made an idiotic colloquial remark. Why must you compound the folly by saying, “Thank you? You are an idiot! If someone walking by in the evening says in passing, “Nice sunset,” do you say “thank you!??”
4) I am short stacked so I push junk and get called by a “monster” like K9. Now the “expert” who busted me has to ridicule me and my play. “J7!? LOL! HA HA HA! LAMO! J7! Your a moron!”
Ok, buddy, listen up –
a) Yes, Jack 7, are you retarded? Did you not see it the first time? Sorry I wasn’t dealt a monster like your K9. I’ll try harder next time to get a better hand with my short stack
b) When I was in second grade I learned how to spell “you’re.” If you can’t, maybe you should refrain from calling people morons.
c) Really? LOL? LMAO? Are you REALLY laughing audibly? **** you and your degenerate uneducated initialisms such as LOL and LAMO. Learn how to speak English.
d) Maybe you should check the scoreboard before you criticize my play. See, your profit has a DASH in front of it. That means you are NEGATIVE ROI. You are a LOSING PLAYER. Why the HELL would a losing player criticize a winning player? Are people really that dumb? AAAAAAAAARGH!
I love hearing their explanations for why they suck. “I win on other accounts. I win at cash games. BLAH BLAH BLAH.” **** YOU! GO do it then and come back and talk trash. Or, my personal favorite, “I never win because of clowns like you playing garbage and beating me." Oh, ok, you LOSE because “clowns” like me play bad hands.
…………………
………………………
Wow. Please just kill yourself. Your existence puts me on life tilt. Go jump off a plane or something.
I swear I had a lot more but I cannot think of them. /rant
Infinite Jest
Bluelight Crew
^
Heh, echo all that. Except I do the 'nh' thing occasionally. I don't mean 'wow, you played really well, congratulations' I just mean 'congratulations on winning'. I'd usually say 'nice bet' or 'well played' otherwise.
Have to admit I'll occasionally 'nh' someone if they beat a loud-mouthed donk, just to annoy the donk.
Haven't played much recently: played a rebuy really well but bubbled (at the break I had only 1800 chips, thanks to someone sucking out on me - I bet every street and he flat-called, then hit a set with his pocket 33 on the river). So I didn't rebuy; started the second hour in 263 of 269. Got to 28 of 40 (36 paid) by jamming the pot, hardly even had a good hand. Then got QQ, raised, was called. Board came K high, I bet anyway. Villain calls. J comes (I've now got a gutshot and second pair and not many chips) so I put the rest of my chips in, and he has me well beat (KJ....to a preflop raise...but they were suited...). Didn't play it right I think; should have been able to get away from the hand and still money. But OTOH, would have been 5th if I'd won and I should be trying to win the tourney, not money, right?
Heh, echo all that. Except I do the 'nh' thing occasionally. I don't mean 'wow, you played really well, congratulations' I just mean 'congratulations on winning'. I'd usually say 'nice bet' or 'well played' otherwise.
Have to admit I'll occasionally 'nh' someone if they beat a loud-mouthed donk, just to annoy the donk.
Haven't played much recently: played a rebuy really well but bubbled (at the break I had only 1800 chips, thanks to someone sucking out on me - I bet every street and he flat-called, then hit a set with his pocket 33 on the river). So I didn't rebuy; started the second hour in 263 of 269. Got to 28 of 40 (36 paid) by jamming the pot, hardly even had a good hand. Then got QQ, raised, was called. Board came K high, I bet anyway. Villain calls. J comes (I've now got a gutshot and second pair and not many chips) so I put the rest of my chips in, and he has me well beat (KJ....to a preflop raise...but they were suited...). Didn't play it right I think; should have been able to get away from the hand and still money. But OTOH, would have been 5th if I'd won and I should be trying to win the tourney, not money, right?
Mister Superzombie
Bluelighter
Very funny rant Fjones.
This thread is interesting. I've started playing poker, then online poker, not so long ago, but I can manage to be a not-so-bad player, probably because I'm not an idiot. I can see I'm not the only one who loses fucked up hands to dorks who have about 3% chances of winning, 90% of the time, on Full Tilt and PokerStars, which is annoying me to no end.
Just now, I had the smallest stack on the table, waiting to go all in on a good hand. JJ comes, I'm big bling, someone raises 3x blind I think, another calls him, I raise all in and they both call me.
Flop: 5 8 A, they both go all in. One has 66, the other 77. I'm good.
Turn: 6.
Fuck. I shouldn't be surprised though.
This thread is interesting. I've started playing poker, then online poker, not so long ago, but I can manage to be a not-so-bad player, probably because I'm not an idiot. I can see I'm not the only one who loses fucked up hands to dorks who have about 3% chances of winning, 90% of the time, on Full Tilt and PokerStars, which is annoying me to no end.
Just now, I had the smallest stack on the table, waiting to go all in on a good hand. JJ comes, I'm big bling, someone raises 3x blind I think, another calls him, I raise all in and they both call me.
Flop: 5 8 A, they both go all in. One has 66, the other 77. I'm good.
Turn: 6.
Fuck. I shouldn't be surprised though.
Fjones
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2008
- Messages
- 3,326
If you were 28th out of 40 I would probably have just shoved all in with the QQ. What was your stack relative to the blinds?
Bedhead
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2009
- Messages
- 225
Nguboi, there's a bunch of forum threads & articles out there about the current situation. Just google the words "poker monies freeze PPA." I know that Wells Fargo was one of the banks that the gov. targeted. They froze the accounts of US banks that handle transactions for stars, FT, etc.
Fjones' rant is funny, especially #1 'cuz I'm in the middle of 2 SnGs when I open this page and I had just gotten it in w/ AK against AJ and doubled up. Board was A245T. Guy in chat goes "wow, I folded 32." Then I go on to read the rant...
Bad players who accumulate chips by limping and getting lucky puts me on life tilt, especially when they make the money. Then they put in ridiculous overbets, like they don't want a call, and I stack off w/ middle pair. He's not getting a call unless he's crushed, I don't know maybe he had a seizure at the time and misclicked. Maximize equity, extract value, lol wut? 8) I don't think the level of thinking at micro SnGs is particularly insane either...
Fjones' rant is funny, especially #1 'cuz I'm in the middle of 2 SnGs when I open this page and I had just gotten it in w/ AK against AJ and doubled up. Board was A245T. Guy in chat goes "wow, I folded 32." Then I go on to read the rant...
Bad players who accumulate chips by limping and getting lucky puts me on life tilt, especially when they make the money. Then they put in ridiculous overbets, like they don't want a call, and I stack off w/ middle pair. He's not getting a call unless he's crushed, I don't know maybe he had a seizure at the time and misclicked. Maximize equity, extract value, lol wut? 8) I don't think the level of thinking at micro SnGs is particularly insane either...
Infinite Jest
Bluelight Crew
About 20-22 big blinds.
Yeah, that was my subsequent thought. If I'd shoved, everyone would have folded and I'd have picked up about 3BB, and if KJs had called me and won, so be it. Really don't know why I bet so small, in hindsight.
Fjones
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2008
- Messages
- 3,326
I have $2400 in limbo.
FUCK YOU GOVERNMENT!!! FUCK YOU AND DIE! Stop fucking with our game and our money! THIS IS NOT WHY WE ELECTED YOU! The Founding fathers are rolling voer in their graves. THIS IS NOT THE PURPOSE OF A GOVERNMENT!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
VOTE LIBERTARIAN!
Fjones
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2008
- Messages
- 3,326
If you had 20 to 22 BB, you made the right play. That is too much to shove pre flop. I cannot remember the last time I had 20 BB unless I was in the top 25% of the field. That is a lot of BBs to have when only being 28th out of 40. Was this a tournament with very slowly escalating blinds?
Fjones
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2008
- Messages
- 3,326
ok. I just read the articles.
I have had enough. The government has run amok for far too long. It is time for this criminal syndicate known as the government to be overthrown by local militias.
Is this something I should avoid posting publicly? If so please edit or delete my post.
I have had enough. The government has run amok for far too long. It is time for this criminal syndicate known as the government to be overthrown by local militias.
Is this something I should avoid posting publicly? If so please edit or delete my post.
Fjones
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2008
- Messages
- 3,326
WOW.
Another issue that the PPA is concerned about is how the DoJ didn’t act through what would be considered the proper legal channels. The DoJ did not obtain any warrants or orders from the court to force the banks to freeze the money in question; it simply sent letters to the banks to force the freeze on the accounts. “Seizure of money without judicial authority and litigation tactics (is) inconsistent with previously stated Department of Justice policy”, D’Amato continues in his statement.
A situation similar to this happened in January of 2007 when the DoJ froze approximately $60 million that had been in the coffers of Neteller, the online transaction organization that had been one of the most popular means for players to make gaming transactions. After the arrest of the founders of the company and much negotiation, Neteller agreed to pay a fine of $136 million and leave the U. S. market. Once the agreement was reached, the money in question was released to the players.
_______________
So, the government illegally seizes money without following protocol. This after it EXTORTED $136 million from netteller, a company that violated no laws or rules.
Another issue that the PPA is concerned about is how the DoJ didn’t act through what would be considered the proper legal channels. The DoJ did not obtain any warrants or orders from the court to force the banks to freeze the money in question; it simply sent letters to the banks to force the freeze on the accounts. “Seizure of money without judicial authority and litigation tactics (is) inconsistent with previously stated Department of Justice policy”, D’Amato continues in his statement.
A situation similar to this happened in January of 2007 when the DoJ froze approximately $60 million that had been in the coffers of Neteller, the online transaction organization that had been one of the most popular means for players to make gaming transactions. After the arrest of the founders of the company and much negotiation, Neteller agreed to pay a fine of $136 million and leave the U. S. market. Once the agreement was reached, the money in question was released to the players.
_______________
So, the government illegally seizes money without following protocol. This after it EXTORTED $136 million from netteller, a company that violated no laws or rules.
try_x_ta_see
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2009
- Messages
- 9
Haven't read this whole thread, but if you are new to online poker and are going to join, signup through a rakeback affiliate such as raketherakedotcom or elsewhere to get a percentage of your rakeback during play-- it really adds up and there's no reason not to take advantage of it.
Infinite Jest
Bluelight Crew
It was a rebuy, with the usual Absolute blind structure (12 minutes/level). Field was quite even, as you can probably guess - apart from one really big stack. If I'd doubled up I would have been in 5th place, and not far behind second. It does seem strange, now I think about it.
Fjones
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2008
- Messages
- 3,326
I already do want to go postal. I despite the government and everything it stands for.
Meanwhile, I want to jsut smash my computer monitor to bits for continuing to display these nightmare hands one after another. I am mired in this awful slump seen here (In order to win the real money you need to win 1st place in the 45 mans. Top 6 pay) -- (May need to resize this to view)
So, I keep thinking, "tonight it will end. Tonight will be different. I can't keep making the top 14 without getting some high finishes."
But of course just when you think it cannot get any worse, it gets far worse.
Only those who have played 45 man tournaments can truly appreciate how agonizing this is, especially after a prolonged slump (700 games) --
While this was happening, The deck decided to deliver the ultimate blow, the nail in the coffin, the "FINISH HIM" fatality, the soul crushing dagger to the heart that was jsut the icing on the cake of despair (wow, that was a LOT of metaphors).
Notice the time stamps on the hands, all of which occurred deep in various tournaments.
1:44 ET
Seat 1:
Seat 2:
Seat 3:
Seat 4: villain (52,950)
Seat 5: Hero (24,048)
Seat 6:
Seat 7:
Seat 8:
Seat 9:
All players ante 200
SB posts the small blind of 800
BB posts the big blind of 1,600
The button is in seat #9
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Hero [Jc Js]
villain raises to 4,200
Hero raises to 23,848, and is all in
villain calls 19,648
Hero shows [Jc Js]
villain shows [Ah Ac]
*** FLOP *** [As Ks 8d]
*** TURN *** [As Ks 8d] [3s] (WOW, a chance!)
*** RIVER *** [As Ks 8d 3s] [Ad]
1:46 ET
Seat 2: villain 2 (4,659)
Seat 3: villain (3,860)
Seat 4:
Seat 5: Hero (3,360)
Seat 6:
Seat 7:
villain 2 posts the small blind of 600
villain posts the big blind of 1,200
The button is in seat #9
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Hero [Ac Qd]
Hero raises to 3,360, and is all in
villain 2 raises to 4,659, and is all in
villain calls 2,660, and is all in
villain 2 shows [6h 6s]
villain shows [As Ad]
Hero shows [Ac Qd]
1:47 ET
Seat 1: shockwave95 (5,734)
Seat 2: HamSTACK (7,561)
Seat 5: mamercyd (4,453)
Seat 6: Hero (2,058)
Seat 7: meetwagon (2,180)
Seat 9: Villain (4,875)
SB posts the small blind of 200
Villain posts the big blind of 400
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Hero [Tc Ad]
Hero raises to 2,058, and is all in
Villain calls 1,658
Hero shows [Tc Ad]
Villain shows [Ah Ac]
Meanwhile, I want to jsut smash my computer monitor to bits for continuing to display these nightmare hands one after another. I am mired in this awful slump seen here (In order to win the real money you need to win 1st place in the 45 mans. Top 6 pay) -- (May need to resize this to view)
So, I keep thinking, "tonight it will end. Tonight will be different. I can't keep making the top 14 without getting some high finishes."
But of course just when you think it cannot get any worse, it gets far worse.
Only those who have played 45 man tournaments can truly appreciate how agonizing this is, especially after a prolonged slump (700 games) --
While this was happening, The deck decided to deliver the ultimate blow, the nail in the coffin, the "FINISH HIM" fatality, the soul crushing dagger to the heart that was jsut the icing on the cake of despair (wow, that was a LOT of metaphors).
Notice the time stamps on the hands, all of which occurred deep in various tournaments.
1:44 ET
Seat 1:
Seat 2:
Seat 3:
Seat 4: villain (52,950)
Seat 5: Hero (24,048)
Seat 6:
Seat 7:
Seat 8:
Seat 9:
All players ante 200
SB posts the small blind of 800
BB posts the big blind of 1,600
The button is in seat #9
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Hero [Jc Js]
villain raises to 4,200
Hero raises to 23,848, and is all in
villain calls 19,648
Hero shows [Jc Js]
villain shows [Ah Ac]
*** FLOP *** [As Ks 8d]
*** TURN *** [As Ks 8d] [3s] (WOW, a chance!)
*** RIVER *** [As Ks 8d 3s] [Ad]
1:46 ET
Seat 2: villain 2 (4,659)
Seat 3: villain (3,860)
Seat 4:
Seat 5: Hero (3,360)
Seat 6:
Seat 7:
villain 2 posts the small blind of 600
villain posts the big blind of 1,200
The button is in seat #9
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Hero [Ac Qd]
Hero raises to 3,360, and is all in
villain 2 raises to 4,659, and is all in
villain calls 2,660, and is all in
villain 2 shows [6h 6s]
villain shows [As Ad]
Hero shows [Ac Qd]
1:47 ET
Seat 1: shockwave95 (5,734)
Seat 2: HamSTACK (7,561)
Seat 5: mamercyd (4,453)
Seat 6: Hero (2,058)
Seat 7: meetwagon (2,180)
Seat 9: Villain (4,875)
SB posts the small blind of 200
Villain posts the big blind of 400
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Hero [Tc Ad]
Hero raises to 2,058, and is all in
Villain calls 1,658
Hero shows [Tc Ad]
Villain shows [Ah Ac]
Last edited:
leafsmoker212
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 25, 2009
- Messages
- 18
Do you play cash games? I'm a 25NL grinder.
Bedhead
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2009
- Messages
- 225
leafs, which site?
I'm done w/ SnGs as soon as I break even, a few more bucks to go. I just can't deal with people calling all ins with dominated garbage hands and hitting or fuckers min raising in the SB with 5 BB with AK. I don't know what that is supposed to accomplish.
Gonna try and focus on cash as soon as I'm out of the red.
I'm done w/ SnGs as soon as I break even, a few more bucks to go. I just can't deal with people calling all ins with dominated garbage hands and hitting or fuckers min raising in the SB with 5 BB with AK. I don't know what that is supposed to accomplish.
Gonna try and focus on cash as soon as I'm out of the red.
Infinite Jest
Bluelight Crew
^
Maybe the SB was hoping to look weak, and that BB would re-raise? Dumb (because you'd have to call a re-raise there with anything) but I can sort of see the logic.
On the "calling with junk": smile and make a note of their name
. I'm finding with SnG's that I'm doing better now that I realise some people are idiot calling stations. Called me down to the river and hit a flush against the odds? Fine. I'll just check-fold the river. You're an idiot, I will get my chips back sooner or later.
(Still, I see your point: I can't play cash games for shit - maybe you're just a better cash than SnG player).
Maybe the SB was hoping to look weak, and that BB would re-raise? Dumb (because you'd have to call a re-raise there with anything) but I can sort of see the logic.
On the "calling with junk": smile and make a note of their name
. I'm finding with SnG's that I'm doing better now that I realise some people are idiot calling stations. Called me down to the river and hit a flush against the odds? Fine. I'll just check-fold the river. You're an idiot, I will get my chips back sooner or later.(Still, I see your point: I can't play cash games for shit - maybe you're just a better cash than SnG player).