• LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

Pet Peeves ver. Fjones vs Redleader

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Facebook Wall

1) The fact that Facebook, at this point in time, does not allow one to completely get rid of one's wall in one click under the account/privacy settings*. As far as I know, there's no way to make your profile show up without a wall, like back in days' past. So I'm going to have to spend around 4 hours clearing my wall of everything and anything one item at a time, in the process of professionalizing my profile? I'm honestly thinking about employing cheap labour to do this for me.

*If I am wrong on this, someone PLEASE PM me and correct me.

Concerning Alcohol/Tobacco and Being Carded

1) Service workers who get all apologetic when they ask to see your ID. "You know, it's just for the cameras...I know it's a pain and I'm not saying you look young, but I just have to.." "here. Honestly, it's the law. I'd expect you to."

2) On the other extreme, service workers that ask for your ID before they know that you could physically present it. Often to avoid 2), I will have my ID ready and just give it to a cashier or bartender regardless of whether I'd be asked, in the end, or not. But it's like....I'm carrying a case of 30 beers with 2 hands to the register, and ten feet away "got your id on you there buddy?"

2.1) "God your idea on you, _____?" I mean, seriously. Am I going to answer "No, I don't. I am 17 and trying to buy this as a minor and not be caught. But you, you're good. Nothing gets past you, Speedway Dude. I'll be waiting right over there as you call the police." It's like the whole "Did anyone put anything in your luggage against your knowledge?"

Do you want me to send Speedway a fax of my ID 30 minutes prior to coming to the station to buy booze, just so they know that yes, I do in fact have my ID? Ahhh!

3) Since when are passports not acceptable as a form of ID for buying alcohol? (God, I'm beginning to sound like such a drunk). I have a tab open at a bar, and the bar has my lisence there, you know, as collateral. But it's right before liquor sales end at retail stores for the night, so I am asked by my friends to go buy booze. I go to a popular grocery chain and approach the counter. They will not accept my passport as ID, nor my current Australian ID card (which is not expired). So I say to the girl "Okay, assume I am an Australian citizen traveling to America. What ID would I show you in order to buy booze?" "Umm....a passport, I'd imagine." I've traveled the world on a US passport, and everywhere accepts it when I buy booze. Long story short, I actually had to phone the bar, ask for my bartender, hand my mobile phone to the register girl, and let the former convince the latter I had a valid US ID. I'm suprised that they did not prohibit me from buying the alcohol, since this fiasco took enough time so that it was post 12:00 when the transaction actually went down.
 
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Facebook Wall

1) The fact that Facebook, at this point in time, does not allow one to completely get rid of one's wall in one click under the account/privacy settings*. As far as I know, there's no way to make your profile show up without a wall, like back in days' past. So I'm going to have to spend around 4 hours clearing my wall of everything and anything one item at a time, in the process of professionalizing my profile? I'm honestly thinking about employing cheap labour to do this for me.

*If I am wrong on this, someone PLEASE PM me and correct me.

why not just make your whole page private, so only friends can view it?

if not, you can change it so your wall is viewable to only you under privacy --> profile

3) Since when are passports not acceptable as a form of ID for buying alcohol? (God, I'm beginning to sound like such a drunk). I have a tab open at a bar, and the bar has my lisence there, you know, as collateral. But it's right before liquor sales end at retail stores for the night, so I am asked by my friends to go buy booze. I go to a popular grocery chain and approach the counter. They will not accept my passport as ID, nor my current Australian ID card (which is not expired). So I say to the girl "Okay, assume I am an Australian citizen traveling to America. What ID would I show you in order to buy booze?" "Umm....a passport, I'd imagine." I've traveled the world on a US passport, and everywhere accepts it when I buy booze. Long story short, I actually had to phone the bar, ask for my bartender, hand my mobile phone to the register girl, and let the former convince the latter I had a valid US ID. I'm suprised that they did not prohibit me from buying the alcohol, since this fiasco took enough time so that it was post 12:00 when the transaction actually went down.

in ohio its up to the seller if they want to accept the ID presented. they can require you to show other forms of ID or refuse to sell alcohol if they do not believe you. i looked it up because i was sick of contradictory info about what was allowed and what wasn't.

similar story to yours: i was back at christmas time and a cashier refused to sell me alcohol unless i had an OH ID on me. she refused to believe that i was just in town for the holidays. but she let my fiancee (who was in line behind me) buy my stuff and his stuff as long as i did not give him any cash.
 
Okay, I am so beyond peeved at my internet access provider right now. The following happened between the hours of 6 and 8 this morning. To indicate how servere my sensativity to pet peeves are, I was on 2mg xanax and 5 shots of vodka at this time, feeling pretty great.

I'm having a conversation with a good friend of mine on messenger. Though the conversation this time was same time-zone, on other mornings I am often awake at these odd hours and on the internet (aside from playing around on BL) to talk with my friends from Australia (where I used to live), as well as occasionally with former colleges from my research days in Aus ("Skyping" or whatnot...).

Anyway, I believe it was around 6:25 that my internet goes down. Great....But also odd, because I've noticed that in the past two weeks, this has happened now 5 times. And it's all between 6:25 and 6:45.

Step #1: Wait 5 minutes, give my router a backrub, etc. FAIL.

(This is the point at which a normal person I think would just walk away....:) But no, just scroll down and see how the story is just beginning!)

Step #2: Grab the Yellow Pages and find the name of the company. Call the number. Of course, I get "Welcome to _____. Your call may be monitored, etc. Press 1) for information on a new account, 2) for updating and existing account, ..., 9) for technical support.

I press 9. "Welcome to technical support. [I kid you not] Please bend over (assuming the router was on the floor, hmm it sounded kind of perverse to me) and look at the front. How many lights do you see flashing?"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Give me an option 10, for "people who know more than a monkey about a computer, but just want any detailed information about why their server is down from a LIVING, BREATHING HUMAN BEING."

I noticed that the automated thing must have been like a tree structure, so I started going through all combinations, hoping one could get me to a person, who I could just say "can you possibly direct me to what I need?"

But no. FAIL.

Step #3: Call the Business Line of the same company, which is a toll-free national number, in hopes to get a person, even if I sound like an idiot.

I do the tree approach again with their automated process. And it did work, I got a person, and was then transfered to another person.

Redleader: "Hello. Honestly, I couldn't understand the last person's accent. Here's the deal, I'm from ______ and my server's down. Is there any way that you can give me more information about when it will be back up, as in if this is some type of routine downtime, or whatnot?"

Operator1: "Can you give me your telephone number."

Redleader: "Gives it."

Operator1: "And the last four digits of your social."

Redleader: "X-X-X-X"

Operator1: "That's not what we have on file."

Redleader: "Umm, I don't know what else to say. That's it....I promise."

Operator1: "Sorry sir, but you'll need to update that under your account on our website."

Redleader (now level 7 on a 1-10 madness scale): "See, I told you before. My server's down. So that's not possible. But you've got my account pulled up right there..."

Operator1: "I cannot do that. But you say your server is not running? Did it come with an instruction manual? Maybe there's a secret switch to turning yours back on again."

OH MY GOD.

::hangs up::

At this point, I knew that my friend, with whom I was conversing, was probably gone and that now it was just me with a vendetta against my internet provider. So I call a friend of mine who is a computer genius.

Friend: "Dude, I'm in bed with a girl and it's 5am (two time zones back). WHAT THE HELL?"

He used to live where I do now and had the same company. So he was like "here, let me find it. Okay ya, call this number. It's not listed in the yellow pages, but it gets you straight to 24 hour tech support. They are also morons, but might be of help."

Now "moron" to this friend is still like a very smart person to me, so I call the number.

Person on it: "Hey, welcome to ______ support. My name is ______."

Redleader:" Look, I hear you're a cool guy and will cut to the chase with me (I don't even know what I'm saying at this point)."

Person on it: "Umm thanks. You know, we do pound Monster Energy drinks all night....I'm happy as a horse right now (is that even a saying??)"

Redleader: "Apparently I don't even know my own social. But ya, here's my IP address. Can you tell me why I cannot get online?"

Person: "Hmm :minute pause:. Your server's down."

Redleader: "Is it routine maintenence, or is something really f*cked?"

**--BEST PART ABOUT TO HAPPEN--**

Person (in a cold and calm voice): "It looks like.....your server got hit by a car."

Redleader: "Oh really? You don't see that everyday, do ya? What, is it located in the middle of a highway?"

Person: "Our guys are working on it, though. Let's see, 6:50 was when the support arrived and ya, it should be back up, I'd say no later than 8."

Redleader: "Thanks."

I'm not even going to talk about a server getting hit by a car, or in the hypothetical case of that happening, it being repaired in 70 minutes or less.

Okay, so either I'm being lied to, or there actually is someone who religiously is driving some type of magical car that can injure a server for around 2 hours, at the same time most mornings. In this crazy latter case, I am going to pull $500 out of my savings, buy a lemmon, and intercept that car. I will be waiting every morning. Even at the expense of conversations with my friends, I will be waiting (though I am a bit nervous, becuase if a car can do that kind of magic to a server, what will it do to my lemon???).


This is hilarious. Did it rally say "please bend over...."

Also, I would give anything to have seen the look on your face when he said, "It looks like your server was hit by a car."

That might be the most absurd statement I have heard this year.
 
Driving

1) I'm waiting at an intersection (stop signs, no lights) to turn left, across traffic. Some other car pulls up to my right, in anticipation of turning right. But pulls up so that our cars are parallel and side-by-side. Then it turns into a glaring contest of the gee, it's now a little harder for me to make my move because I cannot so easily see what is coming, since your car is blocking my vision flavour.

Okay, person in other car, since you're turning right, you only care about what is coming from your left, which could potentially hit you from behind. I care about both sides. So you stop just behind my car, so you can still get a perfect look at traffic approaching from the left, and I have perfect visibility of both sides (which I need, turning left). But no, it's almost like you want this evil starring match, which will distract us even more from responsible driving and increase our chances of crashing!!!


This irritates me to no end. And they do it almost every time I am trying to turn left.

Also annoying -- I am trying to make a left turn out of a parking lot at a nearly impossible place because of busy traffic. Someone else pulls up to an exit left of where I am trying to turn right. Finally both lanes are clear and I am about to go, and now this asshole puts the pedal to the metal and comes flying out of the parking lot, almost hitting me, glaring at me, even though I was just trying to complete my turn that I started to make before he even got there.
 
That desperate housewives & boston legal weren't on monday night because the fucking football was on INSTEAD?

Why?

Since the fuck when?

Why wasn't anyone given an explanation from channel 7?

Fucking asshole cunts. I hate the football, there are plenty of other time slots to put this shit on, but why a monday night when there are scheduled tv shows that are on every week in that time slot, and then not give viewers any warning or reason as to why football was on instead.
 
why not just make your whole page private, so only friends can view it?

if not, you can change it so your wall is viewable to only you under privacy --> profile

My whole page is private. It's just that as I extend myself professionally, I am becoming friends with people who do not need to read posts written on my wall from many months ago, when I was, er, being more of a bad boy.

I did what you suggested, set up a fake account, befriended myself, so just to see what others would see on my wall. It deleted a lot of the comments, but still all of my status messages, updates of new photo postings, updates of other things, etc. must be deleted manually. Ugh!
 
That desperate housewives & boston legal weren't on monday night because the fucking football was on INSTEAD?

Why?

Since the fuck when?

Why wasn't anyone given an explanation from channel 7?

Fucking asshole cunts. I hate the football, there are plenty of other time slots to put this shit on, but why a monday night when there are scheduled tv shows that are on every week in that time slot, and then not give viewers any warning or reason as to why football was on instead.

You watch desperate housewives? I am going to have to send you a virus over MSN!! j/k ;)
 
Redleader said:
But I honestly had a friend of a friend in my vehicle the other day, who at the intersection, started something of a "ki-ku-ki-ku" chant (while swaying back and forth), and then gave me this death-stare when I didn't join in with her.

That is so funny.
 
Not sure if this is a pet peeve, but I'll do it anyway. MICE.

I hate mice. We have one (or maybe more). Anyway I am playing poker, and I hear the bag rustle. I figured it was just settling. It rustles again. I figure maybe my pool cue was settling on it. I hear it again, and I say, "What the fuck?" and I poke at the bag and there is a dark furry creature in the bag.

So I Grab a shoe and stand there waiting. My roommate comes over and watched with me. Then I realize, "A shoe? what will that do?" So I grab a large bowl to trap him.

We wait and wait and wait. Eventually my roommate grabs the bag and picks it up.... He's GONE. He just bounced while we were standing right there waiting, watching.

Then I looked at my food in the bag. It was a box of protein bars.

The fucking mouse ate almost 1/6 of the bar! What the hell!????? Was this the hungriest mouse ever? He had to have been in there for hours eating! He ate almost 10% of his body weight! He also ate the wrapper!

mousetsi.jpg
 
That is one beef-cake mouse you got there Fjones! 8o :)

I am salty as hell. He owes me for that bar. This ain't a soup kitchen for rodents!!


(Did I just say "ain't" !???? That mouse has me all kinds of screwed up!)
 
People whose job it is to listen to exactly what I am saying, but then don't. I have had to spell my name thousands of times for people. Then they don't fucking listen, and I have to repeat it many times. One time someone handed me a form I had just fill out and said, "Sir, you misspelled your name on the form."

SHE WAS BEING SERIOUS.

8)8)8)8)8)8)8)

this means she actually thought to herself, "That looks odd. I wonder what the explanation is? A) The name is not spelled as I thought, or B) This guy doesn't know how to spell his own name"

and she actually decided upon option B.

Ok, fine, she isn't used to people with unusual names. fine. But the people running the chipotle should know how to make the food that is ordered, and should pay attention. I don't know what this guy's deal was, but he must have been daydreaming or something.

My friend orders a burrito bowl with black beans and steak.

me - "I'll have that but with pinto"

employee - (begins handling the tortilla for 30 seconds)

me - "That's a bowl, not a burrito"

employee - "Oh, my bad, sorry"

me "No big deal, it's cool"

employee - (goes for the black beans)

me "No, pinto beans. (pause) and steak" (figuring that he had long forgotten that part by now).

employee - (SKIPS the beans altogether and goes for the CHICKEN)

:!:!:!:!:!:!:!8)

me "No man, pinto beans."

employee (puts pinto beans in and goes for the FUCKING CHICKEN AGAIN) "Chicken?"

me "No, steak please"

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAk

is that five errors!??? What the hell?

So I get home and microwave it and get ready for my first delicious bite, and instead I get one of those steak pieces that is all gristle and chews like bubble gum and will never break down no matter how long you chew it.

:!:!:!:!:!
 
3) Since when are passports not acceptable as a form of ID for buying alcohol?

I'm from the UK, spent some time in Washington last year - I used my passport as ID in most places. There was one gas station though - I wanted cigarettes... then he said that a passport wasn't valid ID. I asked him what was valid. He said "driver's license". I got out my British license as a bit of a joke, but he accepted it! I had to show him how to read it first...
Now... how many people from the US know what a passport should look like? And how many know what an English Driver's license looks like? Pah!


My peeves...
Driving
Retrospective signalling - drive along, slam on the breaks, start to turn into a side road...then signal. Very helpful.

At a roundabout you usually go in the left lane for straight on, right lane is right only. There's a roundabout on my way to work with no right turn. There is NO ROAD to turn into. So the right lane has got to be for straight on.... but still everyone queues in the left lane...... for ALL directions.

"I want to go faster, but very, very slowly". Let's say we're pulling out onto a 40mph road. The sensible thing to do is to get up to 40 as fast as possible. Noo.... here, they pull out.... practically stop in the middle of the road, then begin to accelerate very, VERY gradually. Takes about... 30 seconds or so to get to 40. Then they carry on at the same rate of acceleration... 50....60.... then get very very close to the car in front and stay there.

Bus lane shortcut. Bus lanes have their own set of traffic lights. Buses have some sort of signal transmitter which stops the other lanes and puts but lane on green by the time the bus gets there. Cars are forever getting stuck at these lights.... trying to take an illegal shortcut then getting stumped by red lights. Obviously, the best thing to do is swerve back into traffic leaning on horn and swearing.

Hmm, I'm sure i had more. Another time.... people around here are abysmal drivers!!
 
I am salty as hell. He owes me for that bar. This ain't a soup kitchen for rodents!!


(Did I just say "ain't" !???? That mouse has me all kinds of screwed up!)

Hahaha. My old roommate and I had a mouse in our apartment (couple years ago). Being tweakers we decided drugs were more important than a mouse trap (and I decided as a vegan we needed to get one of the more expensive ones if we were to so that would not kill the mouse 8)) so our solution instead was to make our own with food, cardboard boxes and a stick. It did not go very well and eventually I think we just stole one from a a hardware store... but those tiny fuckers can eat an amazing amount of food! It ate through an entire string cheese. Fucking creepy.

And I second your pet peeve on names. I have to spell out my name usually three times and they still get it wrong, and if I don't check they will enter it wrong. My wallet was stolen about six months ago and I went to the DMV to get a new license, spelled out my name six times and they then printed out the WRONG license. They then told me that I did not exist in the DMV system-- I have had a license for five years. They eventually found me and whoever the fuck it was that entered my info entered it wrong-- how the does the fucking DMV enter your info wrong? Is that ever possible? You write all that shit out on a form and turn it in!
 
Fucking commercials for the cable company which is already bleeding me dry every month with their fucking bill. "TRY THE COX BUNDLE! EVERYBODY LOVES IT!" (no, I don't. Fuck you guys). Why should I have to watch (BLARINGLY LOUD) commercials of the stupid cable company? You already got me. Stop throwing salt in the wound at ridiculous noise levels. :X
 
^Comcast does the same thing. Usually I am able to circumvent this with savvy use of the DVR (which has basically removed my frustration with TV) but when I want to watch a real time program on cable, the fucking Comcast jingle blares every 10 minutes. :x
 
^Comcast does the same thing. Usually I am able to circumvent this with savvy use of the DVR (which has basically removed my frustration with TV) but when I want to watch a real time program on cable, the fucking Comcast jingle blares every 10 minutes. :x
 
My whole page is private. It's just that as I extend myself professionally, I am becoming friends with people who do not need to read posts written on my wall from many months ago, when I was, er, being more of a bad boy.

I did what you suggested, set up a fake account, befriended myself, so just to see what others would see on my wall. It deleted a lot of the comments, but still all of my status messages, updates of new photo postings, updates of other things, etc. must be deleted manually. Ugh!

under your friend's tab, you can create lists. add your work associates and such to a list. and then under privacy --> profile, you can block whatever areas of your profile you want from the people on your list. then when you add new work friends, just add them to your limited list.
 
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