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Ayahuasca - First Time - Warning

Clay71

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This is a thread involving the use of ayahuasca.

I have used ayahuasca several times in the last 3 months. The two fun trips I experienced involved the use of Reed Canary grass and Syrian Rue seeds. Both trips involved beautiful colors of green, purple, and blue, and a strong sense of divinity or God.(whatever you want to call it.)

After several good trips I had decided it was time to move onto a more advanced level of ayahuasca use. For those who do not know, ayahuasca is considered the most powerful hallucenegenic known to man/woman. It is also known that ayahuasca is used by shamans, in other countries, to heal people in the spriritual sense. The drug, when used for healing, is meant to manifest our darker side (the Hitler in us) and dispel it so that we can live a more rich life, free of any troubling thoughts that we might be dealing with from time to time. These thoughts my involve jealousy, rage, anger, hatred, and bitterness. Dispelling these thoughts can only be done through the help of a shaman who has years of experience with ayahuasca.

Several days ago I took my first advanced level of ayahuasca, and I will say that it was not something I care to repeat without the guideance of someone who is experienced with the drug. What I experienced was sheer terror and I am lucky I didn't hurt myself.

When the drug took effect I felt the typical feeling one feels when taking lsd or shrooms. The first body rush was a pleasurable experience that involved the feelings of superiority. I closed my eyes to enjoy the euphoria and the first thing I saw was a large, green snake. This snake was very real and not just part of the trip. I was then overcome with the realization that the snake was inside of me, and not only inside of me, but also part of my deepest being.......I was a snake. This realization was so intense that I felt that I was turning into a snake and there was no way out. (This is the darker side of us that the shamans use magic and chants to dispel out of us.) I then realized that there was a dragon/alien type being in my back bedroom and that it was coming out to the living room to completely take over my mind and turn me into a snake, and that once I was a snake I would be one forever. The sheer terror that I felt was overwhelming. The only thing I could remember was that if you regurgitate, the effect of the drug will decrease. I immediately ran over to the sink and threw up, and within 3 seconds the terror left and I felt much better. But to my shock, the drug had been in my stomache for too long and now the effects would have to run their course. I was going for a ride and there was no way off the roller coaster.

For the next three hours I lived on the edge of insanity. Snakes crawled on the ground, a lion appeared in my head, paranoia about aliens getting me. It seemed as if I was in a haunted house and there was no way out. My only saving grace was a friend named Jolene. She had always told me that if I ever had a bad trip from ayahuasca or peyote it would be ok to call her. And that is what I did. She talked me down and helped me deal with the terror that I was going through. After several hours the drug began to wear off and I felt normal once again. Although yesturday I felt the feelings of insanity for most of the day, I once again feel like a normal person this morning.

Ayahuasca is a powerful drug. It should not be used for recreational use. I have heard testimony after testimony of people being healed by the shamans through the use of ayahuasca, but the drug should be used with their accompaniment.

It is my experience that this drug should be used with great care and carefulness. I felt the terror of it but I also realize the healing power in the drug. Although I will never use it recreationally again, I have already decided to take a trip to South America to experience ayahuasca under the direction of a shaman, and experience its healing power.

This is just a friendly warning. This is not about ego. I'm a tuff guy. I've boxed for ten years, I've been on ten day hiking trips in the wilderness alone, and I even had a gun pointed in my face one time and it didn't scare me a bit. Ayahuasca was my first experience with real fear. In fact, I wouldn't call it fear, I would call it terror. Please, be careful with its use. If the curiosity gets the better of you, I would suggest spending 1500 dollars and spending a couple of weeks with the shamans in South America.

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Only you can know this for sure but your report sounds like a classic example of fighting the experience. You are a snake. Snakes are beautiful and intelligent entities. And a dragon? If you were Asian your parents would hold you in the air in public and scream your greatness. Even your opinion of yourself you give there at the end lends itself to me agreeing with you that you are in fact these animals. I hope you get the chance to look again, without all the fear. Who said "ride the snake" ? Jim Morrison? Take his advice and ride the gosh darn thing; feel where it is strong.

Not everyone gets the opportunity to confront that side of themselves so deeply. The aliendragonsnake is a gift, a manifestation of grace.
 
i agree that a deep ayahuasca trip is not recteational, it is an intense mental and phychalogical journey.

I disagree that you need a shaman to dispell these negative aspects of the experience. They are all manifistations of the mind, you just need to let what happens happen.
 
Many indoles can be very frightening indeed. I quit taking lsd years ago after a similar incident happened to me.
 
Put in the perspective of fear, what one fears the most is death. When I had a gun pointed in my face I felt fear, but I didn't face terror. People also face the fear of being hurt. I had said that I have boxed for 10 years and have felt fear, had my ribs broken 3 times, been knocked out more than once. The comparison with ayahuasca doesn't even come close to the normal fear that we have....it was terror. There's a big difference. Feeling like a snake when on a drug trip may be a fun experience, but becoming a snake is something all together different. We have all had experiences on drugs where we saw pirates, angels, aliens...ect. But most of these hallucinations are more funny than anything. But a dragon/alien like being coming after you to kill you and turn you into a snake so that you will be that way forever is something totally different. I'm finding also from other testimonies that terror is a normal part of advanced level ayahuasca and that many people call it the spirit or healing drug because it is meant to heal and cleanse our spirits. There are some great websites that talk about what goes on down in South America with the Shamans and the people who come in droves to experience the healing of ayahuasca.

Ayahuasca can be fun when taken in careful doses, but when taken in higher doses it is a terrifiying experience, but a life changing one. My mind was opened to things that I didn't know existed. I have done shrooms, lsd, and peyote, but in most of my experiences with those drugs I was able to piece together what my experience was. But ayahuasca sent me to another dimension. Some of the things I experienced changed my mind about what is seen and what is not seen.

The doses I took involved Red Cappi. There are three kinds. Yellow is for first time users, I believe black is for intermediate, and red is for advanced. I also used 10 grams of syrian rue seeds.
 
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its been years since ive read anything on the subject but ive heard that manifesting yourself (or rather taking on the spirit form) of animals is apart of the process and learning to tame that animal can lead to becoming a shaman yourself. ive also heard that the snake can be quite terrifying. are you sure that the lion was not infact a jaguar? because if i remember correctly taming the jaguar is supposed to be the final step of enlightment to becoming a shaman aka jaguarman.. this could be all bullshit on my behalf because its been years since ive studied the subject.. i do remember the term jaguarmen from a docu though.. and no im not getting this confused with the aztec jaguar warriors..
i forget where this info came from (maybe its all in my head // in full ofshit).. sorry..
but im sure there are experts on the subject in the Psychedelic Drugs section..
 
This is just a friendly warning. This is not about ego. I'm a tuff guy. I've boxed for ten years, I've been on ten day hiking trips in the wilderness alone, and I even had a gun pointed in my face one time and it didn't scare me a bit.
IMO this statement condrodicts itself quite a bit. Sounds like you had an amazing experience do you think you could post something of what you learned from the experience upon reflection? Would be a great addition to the report.
 
"The doses I took involved Red Cappi. There are three kinds. Yellow is for first time users, I believe black is for intermediate, and red is for advanced. I also used 10 grams of syrian rue seeds." -Clay71

wait, cappi is the maoi, in an ayahuasca mixture, but so is syrian rue. ten grams of rue is quite a lot for me, i usually take 4 and that is enough. depending on how much cappi you took you may have taken far over an 'effective' maio dose for an ayahuasca trip. what did you use for the dmt?

this red, black and yellow cappi types im pretty sure are just some internet thing like how they label salvia with colors labeling the intensity (green=5x yellow=10x etc.), i hate that. did this thing come premixed (like the cappi and dmt plant)? im a little confused.
 
Funny thing here is, i dont have a deep recollection of my ayahuasca trip, but i know it was ridiculous, because i boiled, 300grams of inner root bark Mimosa Hostilis with 300 grams of Red Caapi vine.
for 2 days, at 100 Celcius, so almost boiling, in Lemon Juice and Water,

around 24 washes, then that was condensed down to 4 cups.
I'm telling you, the taste is equal to fuel injecting lemons with pure sour.
All i can tell you is, i have had like "flash backs" or feelings of the experience slowly unwinding.
Like it said, you were quite ready for a dose that strong.
I know it changed me, for the better, only because i am a strong person on the inside,
Sense that moment i have consumed a couple cups of fairly low dose ayahuasca, and had some incredibly deep spiritual amazing conversations with my friends and family. Some very fluidic and warping visuals, but nothing that i could get to stay. *not as much time and care was put into that aya*
I know this much, the strength of it, caused me to black out there was no lucid moment of conciousness at all. For the Most part i remember just before i went unconcious i felt a constriction of everything around me and i passed out, during this experience, which i have slowly recalled over many months, i was consumed by a psychedelic snake and its belly was hell, i fought my way, through all of my demons and to find out that each one of them was merely just holding back a piece of me. As i wrestled with each one of these i felt as if the whole "The Devine Comedy" book was playing out for me, from a personal stand point. I won't go into nitty gritties i can talk for hours about this...

Lets just say, as the trip began to wind a little as i opened my eyes it was like i was a bird exploding with firey rainbows out of the mouth of the snake a new person, and that my friends was the most intense open eye visual I ever had from ayahuasca and thinking about it still makes my heart flutter a little bit to this day.

i had some incredibly deep closed eye visuals, of things like a gorilla, and a jaguar, and running through a forest, my house was totally dark and silent, and i continued to hear this music, and the deeper i ran into the jungle the closer i got the music, but it was like my "life" in the dmt rainforest was fading and i was becoming a ghost to that world, i was never going to completely get to "meet the band" But i learned so much about myself...
 
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Put in the perspective of fear, what one fears the most is death. When I had a gun pointed in my face I felt fear, but I didn't face terror. People also face the fear of being hurt. I had said that I have boxed for 10 years and have felt fear, had my ribs broken 3 times, been knocked out more than once. The comparison with ayahuasca doesn't even come close to the normal fear that we have....it was terror. There's a big difference. Feeling like a snake when on a drug trip may be a fun experience, but becoming a snake is something all together different. We have all had experiences on drugs where we saw pirates, angels, aliens...ect. But most of these hallucinations are more funny than anything. But a dragon/alien like being coming after you to kill you and turn you into a snake so that you will be that way forever is something totally different. I'm finding also from other testimonies that terror is a normal part of advanced level ayahuasca and that many people call it the spirit or healing drug because it is meant to heal and cleanse our spirits. There are some great websites that talk about what goes on down in South America with the Shamans and the people who come in droves to experience the healing of ayahuasca.

Ayahuasca can be fun when taken in careful doses, but when taken in higher doses it is a terrifiying experience, but a life changing one. My mind was opened to things that I didn't know existed. I have done shrooms, lsd, and peyote, but in most of my experiences with those drugs I was able to piece together what my experience was. But ayahuasca sent me to another dimension. Some of the things I experienced changed my mind about what is seen and what is not seen.

The doses I took involved Red Cappi. There are three kinds. Yellow is for first time users, I believe black is for intermediate, and red is for advanced. I also used 10 grams of syrian rue seeds.



you experienced the sublime... english majors [should] know what I'm talking about
 
Only you can know this for sure but your report sounds like a classic example of fighting the experience. You are a snake. Snakes are beautiful and intelligent entities. And a dragon? If you were Asian your parents would hold you in the air in public and scream your greatness. Even your opinion of yourself you give there at the end lends itself to me agreeing with you that you are in fact these animals. I hope you get the chance to look again, without all the fear. Who said "ride the snake" ? Jim Morrison? Take his advice and ride the gosh darn thing; feel where it is strong.

Not everyone gets the opportunity to confront that side of themselves so deeply. The aliendragonsnake is a gift, a manifestation of grace.

Don't you think this whole thing you're describing could be the root of his problems? He said he felt intense feelings of superiority when the trip started-- it sounds like he might be feeling a little out of balance with the whole "I am holy great and a manifestation of grace" type thing.

Think about it-- What ended up happening to Jim Morrison?
 
^ Jim turned into a drunk from what I understand--though it would be hard to pin that on psychedelics. More a genetics meets fame type of thing.
 
I don't get your objection... Even here, 75% of psychonauts end up opiate addicts, and our fame doesn't extend beyond a little icon in erowid.
 
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Define "psychonaut." Then show me the correlation between whatever you come up with and opiate addiction.
 
Don't you think this whole thing you're describing could be the root of his problems? He said he felt intense feelings of superiority when the trip started-- it sounds like he might be feeling a little out of balance with the whole "I am holy great and a manifestation of grace" type thing.

Think about it-- What ended up happening to Jim Morrison?

When I read the OP's report, I really noticed his description of himself:
I'm a tuff guy. I've boxed for ten years, I've been on ten day hiking trips in the wilderness alone, and I even had a gun pointed in my face one time and it didn't scare me a bit.

My first thought was that he is so wrapped up in this type of self definition, so convinced of the reality of being a "tough guy" that when he was forced to see himself in a broader perspective aided by one of the most powerful psychedelic medicines known to man, he felt "terror". He felt terror because DMT's luminosity shown brightly through his self opinion.

Think about it, spend the next ten minutes making a list of who you think you are. When you're done, cross out everything that is based on memory. Most everything you can say about yourself is based on the past: I had a gun pointed at my face, I've camped alone for ten days and boxed for ten years. So I'm forced to point out that the past is not a physical place that actually exists. Extrapolate...

So the OP takes a powerful psychedelic and sees himself in the proverbial "here and now". He sees himself not through the eyes of memory, but as he is right now... which is what ever you think yourself to be.

Don't think for an instant that those demons were anything but you. Tame yourself if you think you need to. Or Don't. Being wild is a great experience in itself. Be the damn snake. And then be something else if it suits you. You are WAY more than just a "tough guy".

Your courage is what I commend.
 
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EGO man. Its because of our ego. this is not a dig Clay but the way you describe yourself makes me think you have large ego. This is not a bad thing, unless you're a buddhist. The "Tibetan Book Of The Dead" almost perfectly describes the mechanics of a psychedelic experience and the letting go of the ego. Breakingset: man dude, waht you said at the top of this page is pretty dam heavy. " A manifestation of grace" Dig that. My Dad used to talk about Carlos Castenedas alot when I was growin up and that reminds me of something in one of those books. Ever think about writing?
 
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