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alcoholism thread [merged]

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Cosmic Charlie said:
Im feeling great physically speaking , I'm just a little bored sometimes. I'm used to spending all my time drinking and doing drugs. And now im pretty damn sober all the time , I smoke pot but that's it. I really need to find a job but it's tough when you have record. I got felony a few years ago and I just know that's why places arent calling me back. I'm not really worried about it though I think im going to Hitchhike to North Carolina in a few weeks and use all the cash I have left to follow The Dead on tour this year. Seeing as I can't even find work there's nothing really to make me stay in Jersey anymore , I think it's time for me to move on :)
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I hope the tickets arent sold out yet :(
 
Update:

Almost at the 3 week mark, haven't had a single drug and have gotten down to maybe a beer a week. Contemplating wether I should cancel my evaluation appt. with the Drug/Alcohol commission, seeing as how I've been quite sober and haven't been all that depressed even, considering the slight protracted benzo withdrawal I think I'm feeling (all the symptoms are there save anxiety).

One question, does anyone have any experience with cravings and if so how long did it take in your personal experience to realign your perception to not mentally group feeling good with drinking and/or drug use? My main albatross was Valium, with alcohol being used while I cycled off of the benzodiazapines to prevent physical dependance (although I'm not sure I completely dodged it, been experiencing some rebound anxiety, muscle tension, brain zaps, and intensification of HPPD-like symptoms that were already present).

Hope everyone's healthy and safe,
<3 Two Sea
 
i can relate to the coming off valium 2-c, apart from that......

my main reason for posting in this thread is cos, as u all know, my bf is a recovering alcoholic - hes now 3 months clean and reckons he doesnt even crave it anymore
tbh i believe him

however he is still going to a day program and last weekend wen i went to visit my horse to get his teeth checked we dropped paul off at his friends house and he and his gf were drinking (he being pauls friend)
it was like paul was testing himself out - he even poured drinks for the chick

i know i cant stop him hanging out with his drinking friends cos after all im still seeing a friend who uses meth - and i actually ended up using while paul stayed sober round his friends
i just dont know how wise hes being and it worries me

any thoughts?
 
I'd say now would be a good time to really keep an eye on the situation. I relapsed at the 3 month mark pretty much to the day. Granted, there were other factors involved, mostly me losing my job, but still it's very easy to go from not letting yourself drink under any circumstance, to having a single beer and starting the whole process over again.

I can tell you from experience, that's it's unbelievable how easy it is to change your mind and your convictions after having even just ONE drink, or a few, or whatever.

Then again, I was also experiencing some rebound anxiety from the valium during this period too. Is your boyfriend by chance a recreational user of other drugs besides drink?
 
Redleader said:
n3o, have you tried either a) drinking a TON of water or b) using a fat-burner product (i.e. hydroxycut)? I've seen both of these options work as good for people as the traditional diet and exercise efforts.

But ya, I'm craving just as badly as you are. Hang in there...try and hold off until the wedding, and then maybe have a few?
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Thanks mate <3
I already (and always have) drink a shitload of water. Depending on finances I will look in to trying one of those fat-burner products. I have used them before but it wasn't appropriate (I was anorexic and didn't have any fat on me to burn 8))
 
First day of who knows how many without alcohol. Probably a bad time to try and cut back/quit considering I've had the shittiest day and I don't see things getting any better. I am craving a drink more than ever right now.

Why do things always have to happen at the worst times? I wish I could go into detail about it here to get it off my chest, but people I know read BL and some of them wouldn't care for what I would be talking about.
 
^Of COURSE you are still gorgeous. Your metabolism is changing because you are no longer filling your body with toxic empty calories. More water! More tea! More exercise! You will look beautiful on Saturday.

The first few days were really rough and the worst may or may not be over. I've been a bit of a hermit because social gatherings seem to involve boooooze this time of year. Loads to do around the house, though, and decisions to make about what to go back to school to do. A *real* degree and another certification do not look as far out of reach now that I can trust myself to drive, wake up on time, function, etc.

So this weekend is all about one important essay for volunteer work that is taking FOREVER and a really stupid sample case brief that I can blow out in an hour-ish (on emotional distress damages in a wrongful death case) for the study program. I cannot do any of that while impaired.

I could not be doing this without Klonopin and Xanax.

DAY 7!!!
 
I failed last night. Not very proud of myself. Had two beers at home and the addict kicked in much harder than usual, and I ended up going to a bar. After about 5 whiskey and coke's (yes, beer before liquor...) I came home, felt anxious because there was no more alcohol, so I took a bunch of Valium and passed out within 20 minutes. I'm not really that hungover today (water challenge is working!!), but I am in a fog from all of the benzos.

I know what you mean, mariposa, about it taking forever to do things. I went to Panera for lunch today, and I felt so slow and foggy compared to the hustle and bustle around me. In my attempt to stop answering "good" to "how are you?" I told the girl that "even though it's sunny outside, I still cannot see the skyscrapers becasue of the fog in my mind." No response. And then it took me a good 90 minutes to eat my meal and read 20 pages of a book.

I cannot even imagine trying to quit when living with alcoholics and/or people who drink. God, I felt inspired to drink because characters in a movie I was watching last night were drinking. To all of you in that situation, I am so sorry.

And n3o, I'll chime in too that you look much better to us than you may to yourself in the mirror. <3
 
Drank last night for the first time in ages. Was in opiate withdrawals and took a fuckload of clonazepam and gabapentin washed down with some beers. Passed out into a nice oblivion :).

I'll probably end up doing it again today fuckit.
 
Well you don't have to drink tonight. You could just take some meds to take the edge off the withdrawals, and skip the beers?? Hope to chat to you properly soon man, I love our chats :) <3

Mariposa said:
^Of COURSE you are still gorgeous. Your metabolism is changing because you are no longer filling your body with toxic empty calories. More water! More tea! More exercise! You will look beautiful on Saturday.

The first few days were really rough and the worst may or may not be over. I've been a bit of a hermit because social gatherings seem to involve boooooze this time of year. Loads to do around the house, though, and decisions to make about what to go back to school to do. A *real* degree and another certification do not look as far out of reach now that I can trust myself to drive, wake up on time, function, etc.

So this weekend is all about one important essay for volunteer work that is taking FOREVER and a really stupid sample case brief that I can blow out in an hour-ish (on emotional distress damages in a wrongful death case) for the study program. I cannot do any of that while impaired.

I could not be doing this without Klonopin and Xanax.

DAY 7!!!
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(thank you hun <3)

I know what you mean about the social functions. It seems to me that EVERY social function, EVER, revolves around alcohol (this could just be an Aussie thing??) so it's always hard and I know exactly how you feel.
That is so great you're going back to school! I'd love to know what you decide to do :)
Good luck on the essay!! <3

Redleader said:
I cannot even imagine trying to quit when living with alcoholics and/or people who drink. God, I felt inspired to drink because characters in a movie I was watching last night were drinking. To all of you in that situation, I am so sorry.

And n3o, I'll chime in too that you look much better to us than you may to yourself in the mirror. <3
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(thanks RL <3)

This is one of the reasons why it's constantly so hard for my partner and I to abstain from drinking. If one of us caves, we both cave. It's so much easier for one of us to cheekily say "Wanna drink?" and the other one say "DO I!!!" then it's on....
But we've both been good lately and it's getting easier.

Sorry to hear about your relapse RL, but that doesn't mean you have to continue on this path. Are you sober today? <3
 
I'm still at the "what the fuck did I do to deserve this" stage. I am angry and ran for a few blocks, which I'm under my orthopaedist's continuing orders not to do. What do I do when I can't find my brace? Do I believe in myself instead? I'm in more than a bit of pain. But I can take the pain.

I ran anyway, just a short while. I am not an athlete or a runner and can't be fucked with the crowds around the nearest elliptical. I will run more before nightfall and not past the liquor store. It is difficult to better myself. To know that I nearly did something, and didn't, makes me insufferable.

I still ran, and I did not drink.

I'm hydrated, sweaty, and not dehydrated so I just feel tired. I have an hour of work yet but let me glow through this. This struggle might not be worth it right away despite my demands for immediate gratification.

I need a nap and a decent night's sleep.

I am glad to still be abstinent; today was the day I thought I'd get it all wrong, but I didn't.

*faceplants on warm, comfy, just right, bed*
 
Holy fuck these beers are hittin me harder then normal. Havent drank in a month or so so 5 beers has me feelin good with alll the clonazepam i took.

Oh well there goes sobriety.
 
Mariposa said:
I'm still at the "what the fuck did I do to deserve this" stage. I am angry and ran for a few blocks, which I'm under my orthopaedist's continuing orders not to do. What do I do when I can't find my brace? Do I believe in myself instead? I'm in more than a bit of pain. But I can take the pain.

I ran anyway, just a short while. I am not an athlete or a runner and can't be fucked with the crowds around the nearest elliptical. I will run more before nightfall and not past the liquor store. It is difficult to better myself. To know that I nearly did something, and didn't, makes me insufferable.

I still ran, and I did not drink.

I'm hydrated, sweaty, and not dehydrated so I just feel tired. I have an hour of work yet but let me glow through this. This struggle might not be worth it right away despite my demands for immediate gratification.

I need a nap and a decent night's sleep.

I am glad to still be abstinent; today was the day I thought I'd get it all wrong, but I didn't.

*faceplants on warm, comfy, just right, bed*
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^ I am so proud of you sweet lady. You are going to be just fine, and you have many that love and care about you. Keep up the good work. Like you said, you did not drink, and for that, you need to give yourself a pat on the back. The right things are always the hardest. Sobriety is your reward. Love and light good friend. <3
 
Redleader said:
I failed last night. Not very proud of myself. Had two beers at home and the addict kicked in much harder than usual, and I ended up going to a bar. After about 5 whiskey and coke's (yes, beer before liquor...) I came home, felt anxious because there was no more alcohol, so I took a bunch of Valium and passed out within 20 minutes. I'm not really that hungover today (water challenge is working!!), but I am in a fog from all of the benzos.

I know what you mean, mariposa, about it taking forever to do things. I went to Panera for lunch today, and I felt so slow and foggy compared to the hustle and bustle around me. In my attempt to stop answering "good" to "how are you?" I told the girl that "even though it's sunny outside, I still cannot see the skyscrapers becasue of the fog in my mind." No response. And then it took me a good 90 minutes to eat my meal and read 20 pages of a book.

I cannot even imagine trying to quit when living with alcoholics and/or people who drink. God, I felt inspired to drink because characters in a movie I was watching last night were drinking. To all of you in that situation, I am so sorry.

And n3o, I'll chime in too that you look much better to us than you may to yourself in the mirror. <3
Click to expand...


I can really relate to this. It's funny because I find a mere few beers to be more than enough to get me into that warm "positive outlook" headspace, but it's so shortlived. It literally lasts as long as I have my last drink in my hand, as soon as I'm out I start to come down noticeably and feel like crap. Granted I'm almost at the 3 week mark so I'm not speaking of anything current per se, but I know if there were anything in the house I'd drink until the last drop was gone, and it would never be enough.

I still have fantasies about drinking through out the day, but at least their just that (for now), fantasies. It used to be that as soon as I had one in the past my mind would fixate on it and obsess about drinking, and make me feel depressed even if I hadn't felt depressed a moment earlier. Now their just come and go, but I still visualize future times alone with drink in hand. It can be discouraging, because it's one my biggest fantasies, dwarfs my sexual fantasies and all that. Very sad.
 
I made my previous goal. That said I'm still drinking since the celebration for my boyfriend's birthday. I kind of hate myself but don't really care... I can't wait til tomorrow when I stick with my self-imposed absence to drink. I'm sure to look upon this with disgust.
 
^You most certainly shouldn't hate yourself, just be proud of the accomplishments you've made, even if they happened to fall a bit short of your original goal.

After all, any negative approach to the situation might breed more desire to drink. At least that's what happens to me typically.
 
I've had a drug/drink problem for 5 years now, since I was 16. Every year I'm either strung out on some drug or drunk constantly. Right now it's the drunk era, I keep thinking theres no end, I spend money I don't have for booze so I can get rid of it all for a night, get retarded drunk pass out on my back wishing i'll go in my sleep--only to be disapointed when I wake up in the morning. I'm starting to worry that I've a terribly bad problem with substances. That I've no way out, I'm so used to being fucked up all the time I can't function without some kind of substance. Anyone got any advice? I just kicked a bad oxy addiction and now I'm drinking daily again. D:
 
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