alcoholism thread [merged]

[brokenbrain]

I can't deal with AA meetings,every time I've been to one I want to confess all,but to do that requires drugs..or worse drink.
I find talking about myself,eg the real history of myself and my failings and total shitness horribly painful.
Give me alcohol and I can talk.Give me amphetamine sulphate and gin and I can talk for England.
But without substances I am a mouse that barely speaks.
And my selfishness is incredible.My whole alcoholism is all about ME,ME,ME.
I might go to an AA meeting on Monday.I feel the need to open up.Hopefully I can.I really need a sponsor or to know people who go through the same things I do daily and can come round and help me out when I'm at my lowest.
I've started a problem drinking thread in EADD to open up myself and hopefully have others do too.

NOW LISTENING TO EYEHATEGOD - GODSONG

 

[lady grey]

I have been feeling guilty all day about how much i drank last night, and my body gave me shakes just to remind me of that. I'm not drinking today but could so use a drink.

I drink most every day ...but i don't feel guilty..the most I've gone without drinking in a long while is 3 days and that doest happen too often...I usualy keep it light during the week-6-8 beers or a bottle of wine....I dunno...I like it. It relaxes me after a long days work....why should I feel guilty?

^ Your though process on drinking is almost identical to mine. That's why i'm really struggling with the idea of giving up drinking for good. I'm only 22 as well, what person my age can't go to the pub for a few beers because they have an alcohol problem. Which way to go i still can't decide. Drinking occasionally or limiting my drinking to a few glasses of wine or never again.

For now i know i can't limit my drinking, once i start i drink everything in sight. Drinking occasionally, well i'm going through a detox atm so time will tell. And never again scares the shit out of me, and i feel like a fool when i justify that to people - purely because of their reactions. It's like oh yeah we've heard this one before, that's the denial stage.

The guilt you feel after you drink though is a sign that subconciously you know that what you are doing is not good for you. Otherwise you wouldn't feel that guilt. It's like an early warning signal before alcohol starts to really control your life. And shakes are never pleasant

Keep us updated with how your going Wanderlife This thread has been a great support for me and many others. In whatever stage you are in relating to alcohol problems or wanting to understand your doubts - we're all here to help. I'm actually starting to not like the word alcoholic, i prefer alcohol problem.

Knowing that my innocent drinking turned into an addiction that i will most likely be dealing with for the rest of my life scares the shit out of me and i still don't think i'm ready to admit that, that may be the case. I guess i'll find out after this detox goes.

I'm at my mums place with no car so i can't go get alcohol even if i wanted to and the doctor prescribed her valium to give to me which is helping with physical withdral and i'm on campral which is supposed to ease cravings. This is my first real shot which i guess is also the first real test.

 

[cosmic charlie]

I'm trying to quit drinking once again , I have 3 days off so far and I'm doing alright. I have to just give this stuff up for good. I always tell myself I'm going to have 1 or 2 and before I know it Im back at the store buying bottles of whiskey and getting all sloppy. I had another blackout the other day which is pretty much why I'm deciding to stop once more. It seems like that happens everytime I drink now. I guzzle so much so fast to the point that I turn into a rambling mad man terrorizing the streets. It's really starting to scare me

 

[brokenbrain]

I had to call in sick at work today due to drinking 2 bottles of gin.I work 2 jobs on a Friday,I rang the first up at 9am wrecked and stoned and no doubt sounded so....
Didn't do anything about the afternoon job,mainly beacause I was unconscious..
Luckily they are both voluntary jobs and I will hopefully be able to talk my way around the situation on Monday...after all I was REALLY ILL.And its the first time its happened like this.And after all I obviously had no credit on my mobile to ring my 2nd voluntary job.....
Am starting to get back into the world of real,paid employment,but my alcoholism is very,very far from sorted.The opposite in fact.

 

[lady grey]

I'm trying to quit drinking once again , I have 3 days off so far and I'm doing alright. I have to just give this stuff up for good. I always tell myself I'm going to have 1 or 2 and before I know it Im back at the store buying bottles of whiskey and getting all sloppy. I had another blackout the other day which is pretty much why I'm deciding to stop once more. It seems like that happens everytime I drink now. I guzzle so much so fast to the point that I turn into a rambling mad man terrorizing the streets. It's really starting to scare me

^ Oh cosmic i know that feeling all to well That's why i decided to detox this weekend. What i did when i blacked out recently scared the shit out of me, i could have seriously hurt myself or others.. And the only reason i know what i did is because i called my mum during my blackout and she told me.

Do you have anything to help you through? 3 days is a fantastic effort in itself and you should be proud of that! I would highly reccomend going to see a doctor and if where you are there are free support centres visit them for a meeting on how to plan staying sober. They give you suppport and some really helpful tips on not only how to get off alcohol but to resist cravings to. I haven't tried AA but i will in the future. At first i was embarrassed to go but i now realise asking for help if i can't do it alone is nothing to be ashamed of.

Good luck cosmic charlie, i wish you all the best!

 

[cosmic charlie]

Thank you trancegirle , I wish you the best aswell

I'm kind of stubborn about going somewhere for help , Ive just been avoiding hanging out with my friends that drink all the time ( which is almost all of them ) and Ive been spending alot of time in my room smoking pot. I was pretty much using alcohol as a means to help my days pass easier , being unemployed I have an awful lot of time on my hands. Ive gone to tons of AA meetings before but it just seems like some kind of cult to me. I hate the way they talk about drugs , I believe certain drugs arent bad for you at all. I could never live a life of total abstinence like they preach. I love Tripping and Rolling and whatnot and I use chemicals responsibly it's the booze that I go overboard with. My plan for the present is to smoke pot daily and to drop L or take MDMA once a month. I think thats a pretty safe routine

 

[lady grey]

I had to call in sick at work today due to drinking 2 bottles of gin.I work 2 jobs on a Friday,I rang the first up at 9am wrecked and stoned and no doubt sounded so....
Didn't do anything about the afternoon job,mainly beacause I was unconscious..
Luckily they are both voluntary jobs and I will hopefully be able to talk my way around the situation on Monday...after all I was REALLY ILL.And its the first time its happened like this.And after all I obviously had no credit on my mobile to ring my 2nd voluntary job.....
Am starting to get back into the world of real,paid employment,but my alcoholism is very,very far from sorted.The opposite in fact.

Try not to beat yourself up brokenbrain I bet we've all called in sick for work because of a hangover at some point in time. And try and think of today as a new day, i find once guilt sets in, it makes drinking a shitload all to appealing again

Hope that you are able to get your drinking uder control before getting back out there into paid employment. I've been struggling with that. i lost a job due to my drinking and since i lost that one and have been on the hunt for a new one alcohol has been "the only thing getting me through" but i'm starting to realise in reality "the only thing holding me back".

 

[n3ophy7e]

And my selfishness is incredible.My whole alcoholism is all about ME,ME,ME.
I might go to an AA meeting on Monday.I feel the need to open up.Hopefully I can.I really need a sponsor or to know people who go through the same things I do daily and can come round and help me out when I'm at my lowest.

brokenbrain, all addictions are selfish
Do yourself a favour, go to the AA meeting on Monday night, you want to and you know it will help.

I'm at my mums place with no car so i can't go get alcohol even if i wanted to and the doctor prescribed her valium to give to me which is helping with physical withdral and i'm on campral which is supposed to ease cravings. This is my first real shot which i guess is also the first real test.

I'm so proud of you hun. I know you have the strength in you to overcome this. You know you can always PM me if you need to talk

I'm trying to quit drinking once again , I have 3 days off so far and I'm doing alright. I have to just give this stuff up for good. I always tell myself I'm going to have 1 or 2 and before I know it Im back at the store buying bottles of whiskey and getting all sloppy. I had another blackout the other day which is pretty much why I'm deciding to stop once more. It seems like that happens everytime I drink now. I guzzle so much so fast to the point that I turn into a rambling mad man terrorizing the streets. It's really starting to scare me

Awwww Charlie, I know exactly what you're going through
Good luck man, I know you can do it

 

[lady grey]

Thank you n3o, sweetie i really appreciate you being being here. BL is lucky to have such angels

My real test will be tomorrow when i go home to my drinking environment again. I really hope i don't give into cravings. I don't want to start over again. I have a feeling the next few days will be when i'll most need those constant reminders why i don't want to drink.

Still struggling with idea of giving up drinking for good though but i figure i'll leave that decision alone for a while and see how i go.

 

[sixpartseven]

I have apparently upset a lot of people with how disgustingly drunk I got last night. It's the first time I've actually felt bad for drinking and it sucks to feel that way.

I don't know what I'm going to do. A few people who I really care about are disappointed with me and it really bothers me, but I don't know if I can stop drinking completely. It's not even that I drink often, it's that when I drink, I can't stop and don't realize how much I'm drinking and how drunk I am. I can't control it.

I wish this was easier.

 

[RedLeader]

I have apparently upset a lot of people with how disgustingly drunk I got last night. It's the first time I've actually felt bad for drinking and it sucks to feel that way.

I don't know what I'm going to do. A few people who I really care about are disappointed with me and it really bothers me, but I don't know if I can stop drinking completely. It's not even that I drink often, it's that when I drink, I can't stop and don't realize how much I'm drinking and how drunk I am. I can't control it.

I wish this was easier.

You just made it what, 5 days, a bit ago? That was really impressive? You don't feel like you could do that again?

And after 5 days, maybe try drinking alone, at home? Going out, I know, can easily turn a planned X number of drinks into 3X easily. It's tough.

I'm sorry that you have awkwardness now with those you are close to. I hope it can all pass by, and you will be okay.

Stay strong.

 

[.extatic.]

Excuse my ignorance, do alcoholics still get hangovers? or do they just keep drinking without the alcohol wearing off?

just curious

 

[n3ophy7e]

Yes and no....

If I'm on a binge (like, drinking every day, very high tolerance etc) I can drink shitloads and wake up with just a headache.

If I take some time off drinking (like, a week) and then I drink on a weekend, I have horrific hangovers.

I never ever throw up from alcohol, but I get epic headaches, body aches, shakes, impaired cognitive function etc.

Everyone's different though.

 

[.extatic.]

If I take some time off drinking (like, a week) and then I drink on a weekend, I have horrific hangovers.

I think this may be standard for most people, if i drink on a Saturday night, i wake up with the worst hangover ever. Personally i find that if i drink two nights in a row, the next day hangover isn't nearly as bad.

Hangovers are the main reason why i don't drink often.

Like you said, everyone's different.

 

[lady grey]

When i drink every day i never get a hangover. But yeah, like n3o said if i go a few days sober then drink a lot the next day is usually hell. I never throw up either, i used to when i wasn't a big drinker and would drink too much but not since i started drinking regularly, or rather developed a drinking problem

I wonder why that is, maybe alcohol just isn't such a foreign substance in your body anymore. and like with everything, your body adjusts.

Speaking of alcohol i really want a drink!! It sprung on me, is all i can think about. I'm going to try and make myself go to sleep so i can stop thinking about it. And i couldn't go for my walk today because it's pissing down rain in melbourne atm. Thank goodness though! I'm not complaining, we need it. Argh i feel like homer with a bubble above my head that has a bottle of wine in it that won't go away!

 

[CHiLD-0F-THE-BEAT]

Regarding the whole hang-over thing, t's more a matter of % of alcohol in the system.

Someone who drinks excessively daily they will have no hangover as they're constantly topping up their BAC levels.

If you cut that person off for more than 12-24 hours you'll see the hang-over start to come to the fore.

 

[Fjones]

Yes and no....

If I'm on a binge (like, drinking every day, very high tolerance etc) I can drink shitloads and wake up with just a headache.

If I take some time off drinking (like, a week) and then I drink on a weekend, I have horrific hangovers.

I never ever throw up from alcohol, but I get epic headaches, body aches, shakes, impaired cognitive function etc.

Everyone's different though.

That's for sure. I have thrown up dozens and dozens of times. It seems that different amounts do different things on different nights. I have spent many a day after just vomiting for hours and hours every time I merely tried to keep down a few gulps of water. And every time, I saw, "never again."

I also get the severe hangovers.

 

[prattygirl]

PLEASE HELP!!! My sister just got on Suboxone and I'm not sure if this is prescribed for drinking/and or drug withdrawals. She promised that she told her doctor that she had a Vodka drinking problem and a Vicodin problem, but I still think that Suboxone is only for Drug (pills) withdrawals from what I read. She is having alot of crazy emotional ups and downs and she said that this pill is making her SOOOOOOO tired. Also, she said that she feels like she has double vision. She was writing a note and her writing was slanting to the right. Has anyone experienced these side effects? Also, listen to this problem that I noticed with her. One night she called me (before she started to get sober) and we were having a huge conversation and in the middle of the conversation she stopped and said, "Who is this? Who am I talking to?". I thought that was the weirdess thing that I'd ever heard. Do you think that was a skizo frantic sign or just the alcohol or pills doing that. Please help with any opinions or suggestions. Thank you! Concerned family.

 

[sixpartseven]

You just made it what, 5 days, a bit ago? That was really impressive? You don't feel like you could do that again?

And after 5 days, maybe try drinking alone, at home? Going out, I know, can easily turn a planned X number of drinks into 3X easily. It's tough.

I'm sorry that you have awkwardness now with those you are close to. I hope it can all pass by, and you will be okay.

Stay strong.

Thanks, man.

I did go 5 days a week or two ago (a side effect of my drinking is total loss of any ability to place things at a certain time). I could do it again...if I wanted to, which is the problem.

And yeah, I know exactly what you mean about the drinking at home vs. drinking out. If I drink at home alone, I can be happy with just a pint of vodka or whatever and not really even get drunk, just a nice buzz, you know? But when I'm out, it's shot to shot, beer to beer, reality to oblivion in no time flat.

I've mostly patched things up with my friends, now I just have to show them I'm serious about doing something about it. What to do, what to do.

Yes and no....

If I'm on a binge (like, drinking every day, very high tolerance etc) I can drink shitloads and wake up with just a headache.

If I take some time off drinking (like, a week) and then I drink on a weekend, I have horrific hangovers.

I never ever throw up from alcohol, but I get epic headaches, body aches, shakes, impaired cognitive function etc.

Everyone's different though.

That's word for word how it is with me. When I'm binging, sleep is more like just a quick rest, and I get up with a minor headache and do it all over again.

When I take time off, I wake up the day after drinking wishing I would have just kept on with not drinking.

Throwing up is most definitely a thing of the past, except for yesterday but that was because I had a hang over so severe I couldn't believe it was just a hangover and not me dying of radiation poisoning or something. It's pretty much just headaches, body aches, and complete cloudiness of the brain.

 

[RedLeader]

PLEASE HELP!!! My sister just got on Suboxone and I'm not sure if this is prescribed for drinking/and or drug withdrawals. She promised that she told her doctor that she had a Vodka drinking problem and a Vicodin problem, but I still think that Suboxone is only for Drug (pills) withdrawals from what I read. She is having alot of crazy emotional ups and downs and she said that this pill is making her SOOOOOOO tired. Also, she said that she feels like she has double vision. She was writing a note and her writing was slanting to the right. Has anyone experienced these side effects? Also, listen to this problem that I noticed with her. One night she called me (before she started to get sober) and we were having a huge conversation and in the middle of the conversation she stopped and said, "Who is this? Who am I talking to?". I thought that was the weirdess thing that I'd ever heard. Do you think that was a skizo frantic sign or just the alcohol or pills doing that. Please help with any opinions or suggestions. Thank you! Concerned family.

Suboxone is used for people wishing to get off of opiates (a class of drug including Vicodin). He gave her this for her vicodin addiction - it has little to do with getting off of alcohol.

What I have bolded is typical to opiate withdrawal. Suboxone works to get your body free of any demand for opaites in your system, but it's not a perfect substitute. She will have to rough it out for a few days/weeks.

DId the doctor give her any other meds? There are meds that can be used to help ease detoxing from alcohol as well (like an analogy to Suboxone, but not really). But then again, you said she's still drinking when she's taking the Suboxone? Is she quitting the alcohol too? Depending on how much she drinks, that actually could be the potentially more dangerous one.

I don't know specifically about alcohol and Suboxone, but with alcohol and opiates, it's easier to kind of nod/pass out, instead of be out dancing and stuff if you've been drinking. It's not an extreme danger to combine the two, but your phone conversation definately could be a result of that. Did she used to act that way when she combined alcohol and vicodin?