-alone-

Whoohoo! Great one and just at the right time. Fuck, even the right second, man. I'm so glad I discovered this story.

crOOk
 
Hey baby. Things are better now, and even the winter outside is beautiful in it's cold and unrelenting way. I don't get the rush of bliss so often as before, usually when I laugh now there is a hint of apathy mixed in, but my capacity for hope seems more unbreakable these days - the love that I feel in my heart more honest somehow. Apparently the pain of giving up many dreams can be made right by giving in to one big one. You believed that I could be a healer one day and I've finally found a way to believe it about myself.

They say that after time passes you forget the sound of a person's voice, details about them, but there is oh so much that I remember about you and our time together. For each thing that I miss about you there is one more that makes me smile, still. No matter how many times I will ache to have you near, my life has been made more worthwhile for having loved you angel of mine.
 
Many souls have been lost at times, yours was truly a beloved one. I miss you little brother. I wish I could have one more day with you, I wish I could have made you smile one more time, I wish I could have eased your pain, I wish...I wish....
 
I came here looking for this today.

Every time I read it, it makes me so warm inside, yet breaks my heart at the same time. Melissa, even though we haven't met face to face, I still think of you and Josh constantly, you both are always in each prayer, and will always be in my heart. <3
 
Almost 4 years on and this still brings a smile.

Wherever you are Flower, I hope you're going well.
 
I have never eaten a meal with my parents nore have they ever helped me out of a bad situation.

I have however helped my mother out of many.

However I have no more perental love left in me.

None of this bothers me cause thats just the way it is, but still, being placed out of your own life would be hard for anyone, so live yours as you as you can!
 
In my mind, Josh, you're always there - that look in your eye that is somewhere between a trapped rabbit and a man who just crossed into a new reality of awareness. Regardless, in my mind and in my heart, you are still with me, just not able to respond when I ask you things. :\ But I know what you'd say, and laugh at myself all the same.

You left behind a few people who really loved you, obviously (and it's more than a few as if you didn't know ;) ). I don't know at this point where your wife and best friend are, or what's happening with them. Like you, to a degree, they've vanished from the common world and don't answer when people try to reach them. It doesn't mean they aren't loved, just that we don't know how to communicate with them, or hear them when they try to respond :\ I know how much each of them meant to you, so in my mind, I still hold you to this earth - I imagine you as their guardian angel watching over them through troubled times. You may not have much power on this earth, but your love and the love we all had for you is unmatched and might help them through their difficult moments. Perhaps reminding them that there are still others who would be there for them as well. That we love them and miss them, as we do you....but they still have a chance to come back to us. Until then, spend your time with them, help them how you can. You may be the only one who can.



Sorry, I hate asking for favors, and I never ask them for myself. I hope you are happier where you are now. Safer, and happier, and still with the knowledge of the impact you've had on so many people's lives. Even if you can't do anything in the real world, the real world still can do things for you - remember, celebrate, and help those you've left behind. Sleep well little brother.
 
TheLoveBandit said:
You left behind a few people who really loved you, obviously (and it's more than a few as if you didn't know ;) ). I don't know at this point where your wife and best friend are, or what's happening with them. Like you, to a degree, they've vanished from the common world and don't answer when people try to reach them. It doesn't mean they aren't loved, just that we don't know how to communicate with them, or hear them when they try to respond :\ I know how much each of them meant to you, so in my mind, I still hold you to this earth - I imagine you as their guardian angel watching over them through troubled times. You may not have much power on this earth, but your love and the love we all had for you is unmatched and might help them through their difficult moments. Perhaps reminding them that there are still others who would be there for them as well. That we love them and miss them, as we do you....but they still have a chance to come back to us. Until then, spend your time with them, help them how you can. You may be the only one who can.

Sorry, I hate asking for favors, and I never ask them for myself. I hope you are happier where you are now. Safer, and happier, and still with the knowledge of the impact you've had on so many people's lives. Even if you can't do anything in the real world, the real world still can do things for you - remember, celebrate, and help those you've left behind. Sleep well little brother.
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That goes for me as well. You Flower really needs you right now.
 
I thought of Josh and Melissa the other day, so searched posts/threads made by them. This love story has stood out to me for years, and has stayed with me... i didn't even know them.

Wherever you are, Flower, I hope you're ok, and SL55, wherever you are, i know you're watching over her. We never really die, we just change into another form.

xo<3
 
samadhi said:
I thought of Josh and Melissa the other day, so searched posts/threads made by them. This love story has stood out to me for years, and has stayed with me... i didn't even know them.

Wherever you are, Flower, I hope you're ok, and SL55, wherever you are, i know you're watching over her. We never really die, we just change into another form.

xo<3
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--------------------------

Thanks for your thoughts... I'm still around, lurking here once in a while. Josh's birthday is coming up October 15, so he's been on my mind a lot lately as well. <3

-- Flower
 
Well, it's been six years today, my love. I cannot count the times I thought I wouldn't be able to go on without you. I miss you every moment of every day. I have a little boy now. Joshua - named after you. And someday when he's older I will tell him all about his namesake and how much you meant to me.

*sigh* I love you honey.<3
 
i don't want to be alone anymore

I miss josh.

I miss all of you.

I'm so tired of being alone and I want to come home.

i know that I fucked up bad and want to do whatever it takes to fix it.

will you forgive me and let me make it right?
 
If, hypothetically, we ever decide to create a forum entitled "Best of Best of Bluelight," it should, in my opinion, contain exactly one thread.

This one.

*BUMP!*
 
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