SuperPsych
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2012
- Messages
- 1,080
Velvety Comfort: Satin Decompression from the stress in life
Set & setting:
Set and setting wasnt great, but my need for a cognitive and spiritual decompress was intense. My name is Nicky, aka SuperPsych, 32 year old MtF transwoman temporarily living with my dad until i can find other arrangements. Dad and I dont get a long very well these days. He calls my diagnosed mental health problems "made-up bullshit excuses for being a fuck up". I work 5 days a week at a job i more or less loved up until 2 months ago. So far my mental health diagnoses are: PTSD, Perssistive Depressive Disorder, ADHD and Generalized anxiety disorder. I think that I might be Bi-Polar but have not been diagnosed. My hobbies are: Video Games (I love RPG's, JRPGs, Survival HorrorGames, Writing, Collecting Baseball Cards, Making music and I'm about to start doing stand-up comedy.
The build up. I had a very stressful day at work, not getting along with a coworker that I liked up until this point. He refuses to call me by my preferred pronouns She/they Them/ anything but him. It causes me great emotional distress at work, which is a job that I love very much. I work as a Line Cook and I do my best to make sure that our customers have the best experience that they can. My work company makes use of historic buildings and turns them into a restaurant. We do memorials and weddings and stuff. When I was 5 or 6 years old, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I developed insomnia at 7 or 8 yeaes old; scared of where she would go when I got lost in the universal ether. The thoght of her being all alone and by herself, with no friends or familiy for all of eterity caused me much sadness. Although it wasn't my main concern, I was afraid for her. I knew I'd go to the same place. I didn't know if I'd see her again. I would toss and turn, toss and turn. My fy first psychoactive sunstance use was cannabis at 14 years old. I did mushrooms 3 weeks or so after I turned 15 which blew my young little mind out I love my job.
My coworker asked a few months ago "What do you think about transgendered women in sports" and I knew where it was going so I said "this I a topic we shouldnt talk about at work, etc etc. He kept pushing the issue which left me emotionally distraught, to the point where I basically spent a week without sleep, ended up in the hospital because i was so distraught and i went into psychosis. My dad is very hard on me, calling me a constant fuck up and that i'm gonna get fired, etc etc. He is very emotionally abusive. Thats what lead up to this trip.
As far as I could recall, I was in this exhausted state and begun my trip doing 3-Methyl-PCP, Cannabis, 15mg IPPH, 30mg Adderall, 150ug ALD-52 . I walked up to the smoke shop, grabbed a tank of nitrous oxide, which is one of my favorite substances. I got home and continued to take bumps of 3-me-PCP, took another 15mg adderall, and my first time with a substance called DipT or N,N-diisopropyltryptamine . I am well versed in psychoactives and have tasted around 175 substances in my life .
This trip hit all of my receptors perfectly. I dont know if I've had much more of a euphoric experience except maybe trying methamphetamine for the first time.
DiPT has been a focal point of my mind since ai was 15 years old or so. The thought of such a unique substance tingled my mind since i first learned of it.
I am nervous in my attempt to describe this experience. My dad had his Girlfriend over and i got home from a long work week to them fighting vocally. Idk if their disputes ever got physical, but i think it has. I was feeling very tense and this is the last thing I needed. I tried to get a hotel room but my card was $5 bucks short and my bank keeps blocking my other card, so I went back home distraught. I tossed and turned all night and couldn't sleep. I was supposed to go to lunch with my family but due to my emotional state, I stayed behind. While my dad was out of the house, I took around 20mg of IPPH (analogue of methylphenidate aka Ritalin and 150ug ALD-52 (LSD analogue) I walked to the store for nitrous. I got home pretended to sleep etc etc. After I got home from the store, i continued to bump 3-me-pcp. My thoughts were very disorganized, so I took my 35mg prescribed dose of Adderall. I usually try to avoid mixing stimulants with psychedelics due to potential increase of anxiety. At this point, I planned on sticking to just the ALD-52 and IPPH; as well as 3-me-pcp. But something within drew me towards the DiPT that I had but was waiting for the right occasion. Initially, i planned to take it in a nature setting. I have been watching this anime called "Soul Eater", and there is this philosophy called "madness" in it which spreads across the students at this Academy, learning to use their Soul Powers for the greater good. As the trip was building up, I got this delusion that I was giving into the "madness". I decided to switch shows and watch Hazbin Hotel which is a dear show to me. It is very queer and is also more or less a musical show, perfect for trying DiPT. The show is dear to me because in transgendered terms, it ultimately "cracked my egg". My grandfather recently passed, and I was in charge of writing his eulogy. The process of watching him die made me realize, when I am on my death bed, I want as few regrets as possible. I had been struggling with my gender identity for a long time and its one regret that I didnt dare die with. I begun my transition as he was passing. I never got to tell him, but i know he would be proud of me for doing what i needed to be happy. I lost too many loved ones. I want to make them all proud, which would be impossible without being my true self. I was on hormone therapy while giving his eulogy, but nobody in my family knew, except for my brother and sister.
I just passed the 1 year mark on HRT 3 months ago and my life has been rapidly improving except for my relationship with my dad, but thats a story for another time.
As i was watching Hazbin Hotel, i was drowning out the sounds of my dad and his gf fighting until they went to sleep. I took Dipt until I noticed the famed audio pitch shifts, since I know the show inside and out, as well as the songs. There is this character called "Angel Dust" named after PCP, he is a porn actor in a abusive relationship which I have experienced in the past. He drowns out the abuse with sex and drugs, similar to me. He is a tortured soul, wanting redemption. The hotel is based in Hell and they are at war with the angels in heaven. The show shows that people are capable of redeeming passed deeds if they make sure to improve their character flaws; while the souls that went to Heaven are far from perfect themselves. It draws a lot of comparisons to the Palestine/Israel conflict and how the USA is aiding in the genocide against Palestinians. Its a great show. Anyways, i figured the musical aspect of the show made a perfect fit to explore the pitch shifting elements of DiPT. It wasnt until I got past the 75mg mark that I started to experience the effects. The method of consumption was Vaporitzation. Nitrous also has audio distortion effects, so I figured I'd put them together. What initially happened was a bit of an annoyance with the effect, but I finally decided to give in and ride it out with the help of Nitrous. Once I made that decision the experience was full of cognitive and tacticle euphoria. It felt extremely plush, as if I was wrapped up in velvet and satin physically. The body load was extremely pleasurable. The mind set was extremely humorous and light hearted. I dp?
ont think i ever felt that good in my entire life up until that point. It was a sublime feeling of easing tension and release from the stress of life. I wished that I could live in that mode forever, but was perfectly content with the fact that it would end. After a long work week, its exactly what I needed. The weight of the world was off of my shoulders. Sisyphus finally made it to the top of the mountain. I was so wrapped up in the stress from work and having no social life. I needed this immensely and the experience let me know that all was well. Yeah, my life has some very unpleasant moments, that there is a lot that I want to run away from, but more importantly, it left me feeling satisfied in the fact that my life is on the right trojectory and that I have many things to do and many things to see and experience. I am about to start doing stand-up comedy which was the first thing I ever wanted to do since I was 5 or 6 years old. I've been writing a lot of jokes. I feel motivated to work on it and getting my stand-up set going. I have plenty of material I've written over the years in preparation. I've been making music because I've also always wanted to be a hip-hop artist. I am in love with language, writing, wordplay and making people laugh. I am more determined than ever to make an impact on the world, to give people a moment of laugher and humor. Something in my life that I've needed much of when I couldn't find it. I've been teaching myself Japanese and after that, I'm gonna tackle Spanish, then maybe Mandarin, German. I dont know where in the hell life is going, but I cant wait to see where it goes and where I end up. I cant wait to meet new people, make new friends. Life is really damed good right now, even if my home life isnt very great. I've been through more trauma than most other 32 year olds that I know, and thats okay. I have some stuff that I wish I could forget, but I cant and never will; so my goal is to lessen any future trauma and to bring some light in other peoples worlds and impact as many people as I can, in a possitive manner. I want to do more for myself and others than my dad and past partners have done for me. I know my worth right now. I can give the world a lot, and for now, thats enough for me and I hope that anyone who may read this, that they know that even if they dont feel it right now, there is an entire world to live and love and experience. The worst that we can do for ourselves is to give into pessimism, and view the world through a doomsday tinted lense. Tomorrow is a new day, and everyday following. I'll be there for you if you will do your best to be there for yourself. Life is so full of opportunity that we sometimes feel blind to, so do your best to open up your eyes and hearts to new interactions, new locations and new people. For every toxic person in your life, there are a dozen or more who want the best for you! So go meet them and greet a brand new day and maybe someday we will cross paths with one another. Much love to you, myself, and everyone else who is more good than evil. Dont be a boulder, dont be Sisyphus, be a mound that grows into a hill, that grows into a mountain. Life is full of drop offs, valleys, river, forests and cities. Go explore them all. A stone un--turned grows no moss, so keep on moving! Dont let the bad guys get to you and dont let the bedbugs bite, cuz when they do, they bite hard. Go out there and grow and I promise that I will do the same! Much love to you all - SuperPsych. (I will do more edits as I integrate the experience more as it is still fresh).
End notes: yes, DiPT does have a fascinateing effect on pitch. I have to explore it more to see if it tunes things up or down an octave or note or semi-tone. From what I remeber, i think it pitches it upwards a tone or two. Nothing major, but a definite change to sound. Overall, it was a great time and I think DiPT might be my new favorite base tryptamine. I have only tried DMT, DPT and a low dose of aMT but if I had to rank them, it'd probaly go DiPT, DPT - aMT - DMT in that order, though I would love to try MIPT, MET, DET, and EPT, Who knows what the future holds?
Set & setting:
Set and setting wasnt great, but my need for a cognitive and spiritual decompress was intense. My name is Nicky, aka SuperPsych, 32 year old MtF transwoman temporarily living with my dad until i can find other arrangements. Dad and I dont get a long very well these days. He calls my diagnosed mental health problems "made-up bullshit excuses for being a fuck up". I work 5 days a week at a job i more or less loved up until 2 months ago. So far my mental health diagnoses are: PTSD, Perssistive Depressive Disorder, ADHD and Generalized anxiety disorder. I think that I might be Bi-Polar but have not been diagnosed. My hobbies are: Video Games (I love RPG's, JRPGs, Survival HorrorGames, Writing, Collecting Baseball Cards, Making music and I'm about to start doing stand-up comedy.
The build up. I had a very stressful day at work, not getting along with a coworker that I liked up until this point. He refuses to call me by my preferred pronouns She/they Them/ anything but him. It causes me great emotional distress at work, which is a job that I love very much. I work as a Line Cook and I do my best to make sure that our customers have the best experience that they can. My work company makes use of historic buildings and turns them into a restaurant. We do memorials and weddings and stuff. When I was 5 or 6 years old, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. I developed insomnia at 7 or 8 yeaes old; scared of where she would go when I got lost in the universal ether. The thoght of her being all alone and by herself, with no friends or familiy for all of eterity caused me much sadness. Although it wasn't my main concern, I was afraid for her. I knew I'd go to the same place. I didn't know if I'd see her again. I would toss and turn, toss and turn. My fy first psychoactive sunstance use was cannabis at 14 years old. I did mushrooms 3 weeks or so after I turned 15 which blew my young little mind out I love my job.
My coworker asked a few months ago "What do you think about transgendered women in sports" and I knew where it was going so I said "this I a topic we shouldnt talk about at work, etc etc. He kept pushing the issue which left me emotionally distraught, to the point where I basically spent a week without sleep, ended up in the hospital because i was so distraught and i went into psychosis. My dad is very hard on me, calling me a constant fuck up and that i'm gonna get fired, etc etc. He is very emotionally abusive. Thats what lead up to this trip.
As far as I could recall, I was in this exhausted state and begun my trip doing 3-Methyl-PCP, Cannabis, 15mg IPPH, 30mg Adderall, 150ug ALD-52 . I walked up to the smoke shop, grabbed a tank of nitrous oxide, which is one of my favorite substances. I got home and continued to take bumps of 3-me-PCP, took another 15mg adderall, and my first time with a substance called DipT or N,N-diisopropyltryptamine . I am well versed in psychoactives and have tasted around 175 substances in my life .
This trip hit all of my receptors perfectly. I dont know if I've had much more of a euphoric experience except maybe trying methamphetamine for the first time.
DiPT has been a focal point of my mind since ai was 15 years old or so. The thought of such a unique substance tingled my mind since i first learned of it.
I am nervous in my attempt to describe this experience. My dad had his Girlfriend over and i got home from a long work week to them fighting vocally. Idk if their disputes ever got physical, but i think it has. I was feeling very tense and this is the last thing I needed. I tried to get a hotel room but my card was $5 bucks short and my bank keeps blocking my other card, so I went back home distraught. I tossed and turned all night and couldn't sleep. I was supposed to go to lunch with my family but due to my emotional state, I stayed behind. While my dad was out of the house, I took around 20mg of IPPH (analogue of methylphenidate aka Ritalin and 150ug ALD-52 (LSD analogue) I walked to the store for nitrous. I got home pretended to sleep etc etc. After I got home from the store, i continued to bump 3-me-pcp. My thoughts were very disorganized, so I took my 35mg prescribed dose of Adderall. I usually try to avoid mixing stimulants with psychedelics due to potential increase of anxiety. At this point, I planned on sticking to just the ALD-52 and IPPH; as well as 3-me-pcp. But something within drew me towards the DiPT that I had but was waiting for the right occasion. Initially, i planned to take it in a nature setting. I have been watching this anime called "Soul Eater", and there is this philosophy called "madness" in it which spreads across the students at this Academy, learning to use their Soul Powers for the greater good. As the trip was building up, I got this delusion that I was giving into the "madness". I decided to switch shows and watch Hazbin Hotel which is a dear show to me. It is very queer and is also more or less a musical show, perfect for trying DiPT. The show is dear to me because in transgendered terms, it ultimately "cracked my egg". My grandfather recently passed, and I was in charge of writing his eulogy. The process of watching him die made me realize, when I am on my death bed, I want as few regrets as possible. I had been struggling with my gender identity for a long time and its one regret that I didnt dare die with. I begun my transition as he was passing. I never got to tell him, but i know he would be proud of me for doing what i needed to be happy. I lost too many loved ones. I want to make them all proud, which would be impossible without being my true self. I was on hormone therapy while giving his eulogy, but nobody in my family knew, except for my brother and sister.
I just passed the 1 year mark on HRT 3 months ago and my life has been rapidly improving except for my relationship with my dad, but thats a story for another time.
As i was watching Hazbin Hotel, i was drowning out the sounds of my dad and his gf fighting until they went to sleep. I took Dipt until I noticed the famed audio pitch shifts, since I know the show inside and out, as well as the songs. There is this character called "Angel Dust" named after PCP, he is a porn actor in a abusive relationship which I have experienced in the past. He drowns out the abuse with sex and drugs, similar to me. He is a tortured soul, wanting redemption. The hotel is based in Hell and they are at war with the angels in heaven. The show shows that people are capable of redeeming passed deeds if they make sure to improve their character flaws; while the souls that went to Heaven are far from perfect themselves. It draws a lot of comparisons to the Palestine/Israel conflict and how the USA is aiding in the genocide against Palestinians. Its a great show. Anyways, i figured the musical aspect of the show made a perfect fit to explore the pitch shifting elements of DiPT. It wasnt until I got past the 75mg mark that I started to experience the effects. The method of consumption was Vaporitzation. Nitrous also has audio distortion effects, so I figured I'd put them together. What initially happened was a bit of an annoyance with the effect, but I finally decided to give in and ride it out with the help of Nitrous. Once I made that decision the experience was full of cognitive and tacticle euphoria. It felt extremely plush, as if I was wrapped up in velvet and satin physically. The body load was extremely pleasurable. The mind set was extremely humorous and light hearted. I dp?
ont think i ever felt that good in my entire life up until that point. It was a sublime feeling of easing tension and release from the stress of life. I wished that I could live in that mode forever, but was perfectly content with the fact that it would end. After a long work week, its exactly what I needed. The weight of the world was off of my shoulders. Sisyphus finally made it to the top of the mountain. I was so wrapped up in the stress from work and having no social life. I needed this immensely and the experience let me know that all was well. Yeah, my life has some very unpleasant moments, that there is a lot that I want to run away from, but more importantly, it left me feeling satisfied in the fact that my life is on the right trojectory and that I have many things to do and many things to see and experience. I am about to start doing stand-up comedy which was the first thing I ever wanted to do since I was 5 or 6 years old. I've been writing a lot of jokes. I feel motivated to work on it and getting my stand-up set going. I have plenty of material I've written over the years in preparation. I've been making music because I've also always wanted to be a hip-hop artist. I am in love with language, writing, wordplay and making people laugh. I am more determined than ever to make an impact on the world, to give people a moment of laugher and humor. Something in my life that I've needed much of when I couldn't find it. I've been teaching myself Japanese and after that, I'm gonna tackle Spanish, then maybe Mandarin, German. I dont know where in the hell life is going, but I cant wait to see where it goes and where I end up. I cant wait to meet new people, make new friends. Life is really damed good right now, even if my home life isnt very great. I've been through more trauma than most other 32 year olds that I know, and thats okay. I have some stuff that I wish I could forget, but I cant and never will; so my goal is to lessen any future trauma and to bring some light in other peoples worlds and impact as many people as I can, in a possitive manner. I want to do more for myself and others than my dad and past partners have done for me. I know my worth right now. I can give the world a lot, and for now, thats enough for me and I hope that anyone who may read this, that they know that even if they dont feel it right now, there is an entire world to live and love and experience. The worst that we can do for ourselves is to give into pessimism, and view the world through a doomsday tinted lense. Tomorrow is a new day, and everyday following. I'll be there for you if you will do your best to be there for yourself. Life is so full of opportunity that we sometimes feel blind to, so do your best to open up your eyes and hearts to new interactions, new locations and new people. For every toxic person in your life, there are a dozen or more who want the best for you! So go meet them and greet a brand new day and maybe someday we will cross paths with one another. Much love to you, myself, and everyone else who is more good than evil. Dont be a boulder, dont be Sisyphus, be a mound that grows into a hill, that grows into a mountain. Life is full of drop offs, valleys, river, forests and cities. Go explore them all. A stone un--turned grows no moss, so keep on moving! Dont let the bad guys get to you and dont let the bedbugs bite, cuz when they do, they bite hard. Go out there and grow and I promise that I will do the same! Much love to you all - SuperPsych. (I will do more edits as I integrate the experience more as it is still fresh).
End notes: yes, DiPT does have a fascinateing effect on pitch. I have to explore it more to see if it tunes things up or down an octave or note or semi-tone. From what I remeber, i think it pitches it upwards a tone or two. Nothing major, but a definite change to sound. Overall, it was a great time and I think DiPT might be my new favorite base tryptamine. I have only tried DMT, DPT and a low dose of aMT but if I had to rank them, it'd probaly go DiPT, DPT - aMT - DMT in that order, though I would love to try MIPT, MET, DET, and EPT, Who knows what the future holds?
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