babyimreallyyours
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2026
- Messages
- 1
hey all, im m18, and a first time poster. here to share some of my cannabis experience and ask for advice possibly. been smoking weed for about 3 years consistently and i FUCKING love it but recently i have been questioning my experiences and what they mean for me and if I should possibly quit.
if i stick to a super low dose - 1 - 3 (small) bong rips of high grade shit (depending on the strain) i seem to reach the upper levels of a normal persons weed trip, i have a sort of manageable experience, at this range, i exhibit more creativity, im way happier and i laugh, mild paranoia (in a fun way), a great surplus amount of introspection in whatever topic im engaging with, depression gone, but such small doses are sometimes impractical in social situations or i heavily underestimate the potential strength of whatever new strain i got. this is obviously my fault and its my choice to smoke it in the first place im not blaming it on anyone.
anything higher than my safe dose blows me straight into a what i can only describe as a full semi aware psychedelic meltdown, although interestingly, i observed this condition exists behind a very noticeable threshold which if i cross i enter this new "plateau" of intoxication, ive tripped on medium doses of shrooms a handful of times and truly experienced them but even medium (2g- 3g) doses of shrooms did not induce such a state of existential intensity, in fact they were pure visual and euphoric candy, and i wrote off all my experiences with them as extremely pleasantly stimulating and joyous. before i go into my mental and psychological symptoms, id like to address my physical symptoms during this level of thc intoxication, firstly, i have heard of this symptom existing rarely before at higher doses but i experience it often at high (relative for me) doses and it is UNCONTROLLABLE SHAKING, like i was on meth or molly or something (idk?), like shaking so bad its crazy and i cant stop, its like im having a seizure or something lol (im not), there is really nothing i can do to stop this extreme reaction, the feeling is usually preceded by me feel extremely cold so that could be related, feeling extremely cold or the illusion that my body temperature is plummeting is also a very common feeling i experience but i think that is a universal thing lol. another reaction is have is clenching my jaw super hard or my jaw moving, again like i was on a drug that wasnt weed. this is pretty common for me but i guess it could be put down to stress or smth, + my pupils go flying saucer sized but that is probably due to the anxiety, rather than the actual thc.
psychological and mental symptoms - to precede this, im quite interested in philosophy and religion and id say my thought patterns and priorities differ from my peers, but i would not say i feel crazy when sober or more specifically "SCHIZOPHRENIC", nor do i have a consistent diagnosis of schizophrenia or serious mental health issues in my family. i pack half a bowl of some new strain i get, smoke it in about 4 small hits (small bong), and the effects dont come on immediately, i clean my bong and empty the water and sit down at my pc to play some cs, first effects i notice are a much louder and pronounced inner monologue, as someone who already has a loud and distinct fucking inner monologue, this phase already outlines the intense psychological stimulation awaiting me, but the wave hasnt broke yet, i know whats coming and theres always a semi delusional thought that arrives telling me i might have overdone it this time, but anyone with enough experiences in endeavours like this knows that this is easily debunked within ones own head, no ones ever died from this... but what if they went crazy? noo, that doesnt happen. sometimes these facts you offer yourself in the beginning stand as the only pillars of reason and clarity left standing under the pressure of your own reality crushing you. im going on another (involuntary?) tangent within my own head again, i recognise the feeling in my chest again, that warm body high you feel in your torso and limbs on safe doses becomes inverted and gets turned up ten fold for me, like at any moment, this warm (now scolding hot lava) presence in my chest will tear my flesh apart and spill out onto my desk. i cant even focus on my game, but yet, im used to it at this point, its routine. 10 - 15 minutes later the pseudo - spiritual mental gymnastics start to surface out of the ether of my own perception, independent of any external input, it feels like my eyes are torn out of my skull and forcibly rotated 180 degrees to look inward not outward, what i mean by this is im not hallucinating in the classical sense (i will get to that later), but that the introspective element of my awareness overpowers the one that collects information from the outside. processing centers of my psyche start to impulsively examine the proprietary ancient mental structures which have existed within me as neural connections my whole life and proceed to scrutinize every part of them until i cant remember what they were used for or why they are there in the first place. a milder more explainable and practical way that this (process?) manifests itself as a thought, is questioning and more importantly noticing the many flavours and colours of personalities that exhibit themself through me depending on who i speak to, i know this sounds relatively surface level (why i chose this example) metacognition for many, but under the influence of thc these thoughts very quickly and almost uncontrollably spiral into questions such as what is my "true personality", who am i? am i pathetic imitation of something else or a social fraud? these in turn descend me further into mental hell and these questions/thoughts transform into a sort of mental deconstruction and a frightening phenomenon i experience often called "jamais vu"(i will discuss this in greater detail in a couple secs) , i acknowledge still that these are relatively philosophically shallow and common questions people ask themselves but if i could go off and interject that thc or maybe psychoactive substances in general force you to confront generally simple mental concepts (like death for example) in a terrifyingly real (realer than real life real) way, as anyone with a remotely simillar thc reaction to me knows, these thoughts are (feel) so big and deep and horrifying to the point where you have to fabricate a response by convincing yourself that you arent meant to think this deep or you cant unsee this, ive of course never found this argument to be true. - at this point, i start shaking, or shivering, one of the two, not out of fear, but out of complete primal neural stimulation, like my brain is hot and my mind is about to come. i desperately tries to fixate on the videogame but semi intrusive thoughts run through me interrogating my inner monologue, "who am i pretending to be, by playing this", the game becomes such a pathetically small idea compared to the monolithic game of my thought, i feel myself scrambling to rationalise this but i cant, in fact i can OBSERVE my brain and its multiple faces scrambling to rationalize it, im just watching it happen , its happened so many times i learn to accept it and with my limited clarity avoid pressing questions about my operating system further, but... alas... i cant. as my trip proceeds, my thoughts become larger, the continous stream of thoughts slows down and magnifies further, and i feel the valleys inbetween each thought, like a sine wave. the scope of my questioning and investigation widens and increases, and i turn to scrutinize my visual field, to such a degree that i briefly dissassociate from it and treat it as a temporary attribute to my wider awareness, such as holding and reading a book temporarily before putting it down and doing something else. my visual input, albeit breifly, becomes secondary to what is happening inside my brain and for a few seconds i am able to compartmentalize the visual input going into my eyes and treat it as completely separate to the reality in my brain, like i was watching a show on tv but far deepeerrrr. this terrifies the shit out of me every single time it happens, i wish i could enjoy it, I CANT lol, ill always hate it when it happens, ive heard people describe the feeling as being "third person" but i think thats misleading. people also throw around the term dpdr but i dont like using that either because i feel the term has been polluted and used to describe different things. the first time it happened to me i got an existential crisis, but now i just accept it as part of the experience and dont let it trickle into sober life. - as this feeling washes over me i know i am peaking, i feel like a interdimensional rockstar, im no longer here, i done it, im high, but yet im terrified, horrified by this fractal cosmos im looking straight down the middle of, i miss my old life and i miss the comforts of an intact perception, im one foot in and one foot out. i still have clarity, but thats whats terrifying, im not in a trance, im present and i can observe my own senses and in this case my visual field being realized in present time, maybe this is what makes weed so terrifying compared to classical psychedelics, it doesnt fully sever your connection to your rational self, (idk. im theorizing), i also theorize that this sensual disassociation can also happen any of your 5 senses, i might just gravitate to my visual sense due to it being the most noticeable and spectacular - once i have peaked and i am fully immersed in this new suggestible (very very suggestible) state of mind, i go through what i can only describe as bouts of jamais vu (if you dont know what this means search it up i cba explaining, its simple), i can look at (or visualise) an object(s) or concept and it feels like ive seen it for the first time ever, or i can perceive in a raw super detached way to a extent to where it feels completely unfamilliar to me, this can be enlightening, and this is obviously present in the normal cannabis experience, its fun and novel, but at this threshold of cannabis use it gets turned up to an extreme degree, (as are most normal cannabis feelings in this state, which is what half of these feelings probably are), for example i often sort of intrusively challenge myself to jamais vu myself from common established things, like human anatomy, and the results are scary, when im this high, humans start looking super unfamilliar and central things in the human anatomy start looking "alien", faces become a flat fleshy surface upon which many random biological instruments and devices are implanted upon, im not hallucinating anything, im just perceiving the object differently. this form of thinking can be applied to many things, i just chose this as an example, ive also not really explored this alley of thinking too much because its sorta just scary to me, there are numerous things i can do this to but this post is already long and if you want extra details (which i assume you dont because this just sounds like ramblings of a crazy man), then comment! - but... as fast as all this introspection comes, it goes, as 60- 90 long excruciatingly long minutes pass, most of these initial reality bending psychedelic feelings fade into a more normal mellow high where im having a good time, and suprisingly, there isnt a sense of profoundness leftover that you feel with psychedelics, when i tripped on shrooms i felt myself thinking differently for days afterwards, i could feel the neurogenesis that my brain underwent, with weed i dont have that, there is no leftovers from this experience, because maybe weed doesnt have the power to actually alter your brain structure for days and weeks after the chemical has left your bloodstream, like shrooms can. maybe this is what makes people come back to it so consistently. although! this whole experience is completely reproducible for me and is pretty much guaranteed each time i smoke this this much.
i think ive covered 3 different things i experience when on weed that i dont really hear people talk about at these amounts but i also have more common albeit uncommon for weed effects, such as VISUALS, i get CEV's very consistently when high on weed but they arent super clear, and they are sort of fused with my minds eye but not totally, idk?! definitely not as strong as i felt on shrooms, and as for open eye visuals, ive never really had any extreme ones but i did experience them before, still much weaker than shrooms. although, i feel like i can will them into existence at anytime when high, i just dont. thats just probably the delusional high me thinking that though lmao. another feeling i experience is extreme sensitivity to some sounds, some sounds can defo feel super uncomfortable? i always accepted that as a universal experience though. another thing i like to touch on is during the peaks of my weed trip i seem to have very profound realizations about reality and myself but i always forget them and they never materialize, although i have heard this happening before.
again im just speaking completely subjectively and describing my own experience with language that i know, i know nothing about psychology or neurochemistry and i am not trying to present any of my subjective experiences as fact, apart from the fact i felt them. i could also just be looking into my experience way too deep and i just adding a bunch of stuff on top of simple anxiety, but the reason for this post was to see if anyone has a simillar experience to me and if having a weed experience like this is indicative of a bigger problem, i dont trip this hard on weed everytime, when i do smoke i try to keep myself to my own limits but i cant help but be perplexed by the world that weed can offer. i really dont want to hear anyone say to "stop smoking weed" because it is not in my nature to run away from things i am scared of, without atleast understanding them first. im pretty confident i dont have any mental problems, im not under any delusions, and i dont hear or see things that arent there when sober, also just wrote this post cos i was bored and wanted to get some stuff off my chest. thanks to anyone who read this!! i rlly appreciate it.
if i stick to a super low dose - 1 - 3 (small) bong rips of high grade shit (depending on the strain) i seem to reach the upper levels of a normal persons weed trip, i have a sort of manageable experience, at this range, i exhibit more creativity, im way happier and i laugh, mild paranoia (in a fun way), a great surplus amount of introspection in whatever topic im engaging with, depression gone, but such small doses are sometimes impractical in social situations or i heavily underestimate the potential strength of whatever new strain i got. this is obviously my fault and its my choice to smoke it in the first place im not blaming it on anyone.
anything higher than my safe dose blows me straight into a what i can only describe as a full semi aware psychedelic meltdown, although interestingly, i observed this condition exists behind a very noticeable threshold which if i cross i enter this new "plateau" of intoxication, ive tripped on medium doses of shrooms a handful of times and truly experienced them but even medium (2g- 3g) doses of shrooms did not induce such a state of existential intensity, in fact they were pure visual and euphoric candy, and i wrote off all my experiences with them as extremely pleasantly stimulating and joyous. before i go into my mental and psychological symptoms, id like to address my physical symptoms during this level of thc intoxication, firstly, i have heard of this symptom existing rarely before at higher doses but i experience it often at high (relative for me) doses and it is UNCONTROLLABLE SHAKING, like i was on meth or molly or something (idk?), like shaking so bad its crazy and i cant stop, its like im having a seizure or something lol (im not), there is really nothing i can do to stop this extreme reaction, the feeling is usually preceded by me feel extremely cold so that could be related, feeling extremely cold or the illusion that my body temperature is plummeting is also a very common feeling i experience but i think that is a universal thing lol. another reaction is have is clenching my jaw super hard or my jaw moving, again like i was on a drug that wasnt weed. this is pretty common for me but i guess it could be put down to stress or smth, + my pupils go flying saucer sized but that is probably due to the anxiety, rather than the actual thc.
psychological and mental symptoms - to precede this, im quite interested in philosophy and religion and id say my thought patterns and priorities differ from my peers, but i would not say i feel crazy when sober or more specifically "SCHIZOPHRENIC", nor do i have a consistent diagnosis of schizophrenia or serious mental health issues in my family. i pack half a bowl of some new strain i get, smoke it in about 4 small hits (small bong), and the effects dont come on immediately, i clean my bong and empty the water and sit down at my pc to play some cs, first effects i notice are a much louder and pronounced inner monologue, as someone who already has a loud and distinct fucking inner monologue, this phase already outlines the intense psychological stimulation awaiting me, but the wave hasnt broke yet, i know whats coming and theres always a semi delusional thought that arrives telling me i might have overdone it this time, but anyone with enough experiences in endeavours like this knows that this is easily debunked within ones own head, no ones ever died from this... but what if they went crazy? noo, that doesnt happen. sometimes these facts you offer yourself in the beginning stand as the only pillars of reason and clarity left standing under the pressure of your own reality crushing you. im going on another (involuntary?) tangent within my own head again, i recognise the feeling in my chest again, that warm body high you feel in your torso and limbs on safe doses becomes inverted and gets turned up ten fold for me, like at any moment, this warm (now scolding hot lava) presence in my chest will tear my flesh apart and spill out onto my desk. i cant even focus on my game, but yet, im used to it at this point, its routine. 10 - 15 minutes later the pseudo - spiritual mental gymnastics start to surface out of the ether of my own perception, independent of any external input, it feels like my eyes are torn out of my skull and forcibly rotated 180 degrees to look inward not outward, what i mean by this is im not hallucinating in the classical sense (i will get to that later), but that the introspective element of my awareness overpowers the one that collects information from the outside. processing centers of my psyche start to impulsively examine the proprietary ancient mental structures which have existed within me as neural connections my whole life and proceed to scrutinize every part of them until i cant remember what they were used for or why they are there in the first place. a milder more explainable and practical way that this (process?) manifests itself as a thought, is questioning and more importantly noticing the many flavours and colours of personalities that exhibit themself through me depending on who i speak to, i know this sounds relatively surface level (why i chose this example) metacognition for many, but under the influence of thc these thoughts very quickly and almost uncontrollably spiral into questions such as what is my "true personality", who am i? am i pathetic imitation of something else or a social fraud? these in turn descend me further into mental hell and these questions/thoughts transform into a sort of mental deconstruction and a frightening phenomenon i experience often called "jamais vu"(i will discuss this in greater detail in a couple secs) , i acknowledge still that these are relatively philosophically shallow and common questions people ask themselves but if i could go off and interject that thc or maybe psychoactive substances in general force you to confront generally simple mental concepts (like death for example) in a terrifyingly real (realer than real life real) way, as anyone with a remotely simillar thc reaction to me knows, these thoughts are (feel) so big and deep and horrifying to the point where you have to fabricate a response by convincing yourself that you arent meant to think this deep or you cant unsee this, ive of course never found this argument to be true. - at this point, i start shaking, or shivering, one of the two, not out of fear, but out of complete primal neural stimulation, like my brain is hot and my mind is about to come. i desperately tries to fixate on the videogame but semi intrusive thoughts run through me interrogating my inner monologue, "who am i pretending to be, by playing this", the game becomes such a pathetically small idea compared to the monolithic game of my thought, i feel myself scrambling to rationalise this but i cant, in fact i can OBSERVE my brain and its multiple faces scrambling to rationalize it, im just watching it happen , its happened so many times i learn to accept it and with my limited clarity avoid pressing questions about my operating system further, but... alas... i cant. as my trip proceeds, my thoughts become larger, the continous stream of thoughts slows down and magnifies further, and i feel the valleys inbetween each thought, like a sine wave. the scope of my questioning and investigation widens and increases, and i turn to scrutinize my visual field, to such a degree that i briefly dissassociate from it and treat it as a temporary attribute to my wider awareness, such as holding and reading a book temporarily before putting it down and doing something else. my visual input, albeit breifly, becomes secondary to what is happening inside my brain and for a few seconds i am able to compartmentalize the visual input going into my eyes and treat it as completely separate to the reality in my brain, like i was watching a show on tv but far deepeerrrr. this terrifies the shit out of me every single time it happens, i wish i could enjoy it, I CANT lol, ill always hate it when it happens, ive heard people describe the feeling as being "third person" but i think thats misleading. people also throw around the term dpdr but i dont like using that either because i feel the term has been polluted and used to describe different things. the first time it happened to me i got an existential crisis, but now i just accept it as part of the experience and dont let it trickle into sober life. - as this feeling washes over me i know i am peaking, i feel like a interdimensional rockstar, im no longer here, i done it, im high, but yet im terrified, horrified by this fractal cosmos im looking straight down the middle of, i miss my old life and i miss the comforts of an intact perception, im one foot in and one foot out. i still have clarity, but thats whats terrifying, im not in a trance, im present and i can observe my own senses and in this case my visual field being realized in present time, maybe this is what makes weed so terrifying compared to classical psychedelics, it doesnt fully sever your connection to your rational self, (idk. im theorizing), i also theorize that this sensual disassociation can also happen any of your 5 senses, i might just gravitate to my visual sense due to it being the most noticeable and spectacular - once i have peaked and i am fully immersed in this new suggestible (very very suggestible) state of mind, i go through what i can only describe as bouts of jamais vu (if you dont know what this means search it up i cba explaining, its simple), i can look at (or visualise) an object(s) or concept and it feels like ive seen it for the first time ever, or i can perceive in a raw super detached way to a extent to where it feels completely unfamilliar to me, this can be enlightening, and this is obviously present in the normal cannabis experience, its fun and novel, but at this threshold of cannabis use it gets turned up to an extreme degree, (as are most normal cannabis feelings in this state, which is what half of these feelings probably are), for example i often sort of intrusively challenge myself to jamais vu myself from common established things, like human anatomy, and the results are scary, when im this high, humans start looking super unfamilliar and central things in the human anatomy start looking "alien", faces become a flat fleshy surface upon which many random biological instruments and devices are implanted upon, im not hallucinating anything, im just perceiving the object differently. this form of thinking can be applied to many things, i just chose this as an example, ive also not really explored this alley of thinking too much because its sorta just scary to me, there are numerous things i can do this to but this post is already long and if you want extra details (which i assume you dont because this just sounds like ramblings of a crazy man), then comment! - but... as fast as all this introspection comes, it goes, as 60- 90 long excruciatingly long minutes pass, most of these initial reality bending psychedelic feelings fade into a more normal mellow high where im having a good time, and suprisingly, there isnt a sense of profoundness leftover that you feel with psychedelics, when i tripped on shrooms i felt myself thinking differently for days afterwards, i could feel the neurogenesis that my brain underwent, with weed i dont have that, there is no leftovers from this experience, because maybe weed doesnt have the power to actually alter your brain structure for days and weeks after the chemical has left your bloodstream, like shrooms can. maybe this is what makes people come back to it so consistently. although! this whole experience is completely reproducible for me and is pretty much guaranteed each time i smoke this this much.
i think ive covered 3 different things i experience when on weed that i dont really hear people talk about at these amounts but i also have more common albeit uncommon for weed effects, such as VISUALS, i get CEV's very consistently when high on weed but they arent super clear, and they are sort of fused with my minds eye but not totally, idk?! definitely not as strong as i felt on shrooms, and as for open eye visuals, ive never really had any extreme ones but i did experience them before, still much weaker than shrooms. although, i feel like i can will them into existence at anytime when high, i just dont. thats just probably the delusional high me thinking that though lmao. another feeling i experience is extreme sensitivity to some sounds, some sounds can defo feel super uncomfortable? i always accepted that as a universal experience though. another thing i like to touch on is during the peaks of my weed trip i seem to have very profound realizations about reality and myself but i always forget them and they never materialize, although i have heard this happening before.
again im just speaking completely subjectively and describing my own experience with language that i know, i know nothing about psychology or neurochemistry and i am not trying to present any of my subjective experiences as fact, apart from the fact i felt them. i could also just be looking into my experience way too deep and i just adding a bunch of stuff on top of simple anxiety, but the reason for this post was to see if anyone has a simillar experience to me and if having a weed experience like this is indicative of a bigger problem, i dont trip this hard on weed everytime, when i do smoke i try to keep myself to my own limits but i cant help but be perplexed by the world that weed can offer. i really dont want to hear anyone say to "stop smoking weed" because it is not in my nature to run away from things i am scared of, without atleast understanding them first. im pretty confident i dont have any mental problems, im not under any delusions, and i dont hear or see things that arent there when sober, also just wrote this post cos i was bored and wanted to get some stuff off my chest. thanks to anyone who read this!! i rlly appreciate it.
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