Opioids Opiates: WHich one did you first fall in love with and why?

[Kushman3000]

What was your first opiate that you absolutely fell in love with and what was the reason you fell in love with it? Then how long was it in your life? How did you finally OVERCOME the feeling and thoughts to want to use again, what were your methods that worked, what didnt?ANy answers welcome, im not here to judge anyone. Thank you.

 

[nato23]

First opiod I tried was tramadol, i was about 16. I liked them because of the anti anxiety effect. I was quite shy growing up and it gave me that bit of inhibition.
The I tried tapentadol - which supposed to be like tramadol but it was very different. At first I fucking loved it, the euphoria was more prominent than trams. But it started getting out of control, it gave me mild visuals anyway but when I needed higher doses i would think people were shouting my name when my girlfriend wasn’t in. It’s just come out with random as fuck comments. In the end I wasn’t getting any euphoria from it.
I later developed a heroin smoking habit, I never thought it was that good tbh. Maybe if I pinned it would be a different story I bet.
Oxycodone was nice, I had a bottle of OxyNorm and that was really nice. It was like liquid gold.

I’m not on buprenorphine but my tapentadol habit turning into a heroin habit. The tapentadol withdrawls were helish, and I had to redose like 5 times a day. So switched to the brown, tried coming off them cold turkey but couldn’t.
So seemed help, started on 11mg of bupe not I’m down to 8mg, and I don’t even take them everyday anymore, I’m taking pregabalin and they seem to hold me. I snort a 8mg bupe every now and then and it give me a nod.

Sorry if I didn’t answer all your questions but that’s my opiod/opiate experiences.

 

[Dr. John Thackery]

first real high off opioids was IV #4 heroin. it was a wrap.

but then later i tried IV dilauded and this blows away all other opioids.

 

[helpingout]

first opiate i tried was vicodin. didnt love it at all. hardly even liked it. but i was smoking weed at the time. i lucked out in a lot of ways. i thought that weed was what made you nod and i didnt figure out for a very long time that it was the vicodin that made me nod. so for a long time i would smoke heaps and heaps of weed trying to "smoke till i slept" not realizing that that nodding feeling was actually the opiates i was taking when getting high and not actually the marijuana itself. eventually in my mid twenties i got a morphine connect and started using morphine. id been using weed long enough to know that the weed wasnt making me sleep and when i got the heavy nod from the morphine i knew exactly what i wanted from drugs and morphine gave me everything. eventually lost the morphine connect. fucked adound with oxycodone for a while. got some oxymorphones for a bit. eventually my oxycodone connect turned to heroin and started being sheisty. i tried heroin at one point and it was okay. took the sick away. but i didnt really get a taste for it aftwr the first try. wasnt till my early thirties that i got to feel the hit of good heroin. stucj with that for five years. but even ti this day i prefer morphine tonheroin. even tho heroin is just a prodrug that makes morphine cross the bbb more wffectively. i still kinda feel like heroin is too much of a good thing. morphine itself is its own sweet spot. still have a love affair with morphine going in my mind. little secret spots of plans for windows of opportunity where i might get away with using morphine again. kinda sad to think id give up everything i am for a feeling. makes me want to swear it off forever. not because i dislike it. but because if what id be willing to give to have it. i think the only rational thing to do with my affliction is to either grow it or no go it. like i cant acquiesce to my taste fornit unless i grow it myself. im just so affixed to the feeling. im obsessed with it. permanently preoccupied with it. i just want to be free. to be free of the taste and the affliction and the love of it. i feel like i know more about how much i love morphine than about how much i love myself. im 37 and im sthe dame person i was when i was 17. totally lost. fearful and loathing. dazed and confused. abused and worn out. spent my fortune and saved my obsession. now im just a person whose completely and totally lost in the world. no occupation. no achiebements. just a shadow of a self that never developed. a life in negative of a life that never existed. a person who never came to be. a ghost of a man who never lived.

 

[Troppo]

Tramadol. I know it's not the strongest but I was prescribed it for back pain and I found that if I saved up my dose and only took it once every three days it gave me motivation and a real high. I think from memory I was taking 200 mg on the days I used it for a high.

 

[Halif2]

i feel like i know more about how much i love morphine than about how much i love myself.

What an amazing insight.

That whole post is well-written and painfully relatable.

i still kinda feel like heroin is too much of a good thing. morphine itself is its own sweet spot.

Totally agree. I just shot some heroin an hour or so ago and while I use it a few times a day because I'm dependent, I'd be happy to go with morphine if I could get enough of it regularly.

From your post, it sounds like you're not using. It also sounds like you're pretty miserable. I'm commenting from the other side of the glass, and I'm pretty miserable too. Using daily really saps the good part out. The 'enjoyable' part now is not feeling incredibly sick.

Being deep in dependency sucks, and being 'clean' - while not being able to let go of the thought of using - also sucks. What is one to do? I'm around ten years older than you, and I still haven't got myself sorted out because I cannot stand the thought of never being able to feel that way again. Sometimes I wonder if using in moderation is a possibility, or the biggest lie we could ever tell ourselves. I know what it's like being stuck between a white rock and a hard life.

I have no wisdom or advice. I don't know what to do. But I'm glad you wrote that post because it expresses some things really well, and I'm sure there are others who would appreciate it too.

 

[ChemicallyEnhanced]

Morphine.
I was in hospital, so my first experience with any opiate was actually IV Morphine.
Besides taking the agony away...it was like for the first time ever I felt okay. Like, maybe I was gonna be okay and nothing bad would happen. I was just calm and happy and I remember thinking "I never want to not feel like this".

 

[foodcrisis]

i did vicodin a few times around the time i got my wisdom teeth removed and it was nothing special. i'd combine DXM in small doses with it. i was about 17. i liked the vicodin, dxm and weed.

when i was about 19, i had a pretty steady oxycontin connection for a few months and really liked taking like 15-20mgs and smoking some weed... i wasn't amazed by the high, but the pills were cheap cause my friend was supposedly trading a friend's dad weed for them, so it was worth it to do like 20mgs a day. i found myself smoking less weed, so i thought it was cool. i had a specific income for drugs so could use the oxy pretty frequently.

i just lost the connect and opiates were never as cheap, so i just never really did them much after that with the exception of getting morphine a few times and not really find it worth the money.. ..

also i got kind of turned off by opiates because i tried 40mgs of oxycontin with the 20mg tolerance the night i found out i wasn't gonna be able to get the OC anymore, and i got sick.... i just don't really find opiates to be intense enough at doses where i don't get sick. like 40mgs was pretty crazy and cool for a couple hours. it was like i was stuck in bed and i was hallucinating i was in the clouds with light but the room was really dark. i was way to sick the next day to care to do that again though, and plus i don't really like being so high i can't move properly. opiates just really aren't my thing, so i guess i never really fell in love with the at the point of this thread.

i wouldn't do opiates or drink alcohol at all at this point in my life as a 40 yo... the only downer i will do is benzos and that's if i won't be able to sleep... probably wouldn't even do benzos in the day if i didn't have weed. not really a downer guy.

 

[helpingout]

What an amazing insight.

That whole post is well-written and painfully relatable.



Totally agree. I just shot some heroin an hour or so ago and while I use it a few times a day because I'm dependent, I'd be happy to go with morphine if I could get enough of it regularly.

From your post, it sounds like you're not using. It also sounds like you're pretty miserable. I'm commenting from the other side of the glass, and I'm pretty miserable too. Using daily really saps the good part out. The 'enjoyable' part now is not feeling incredibly sick.

Being deep in dependency sucks, and being 'clean' - while not being able to let go of the thought of using - also sucks. What is one to do? I'm around ten years older than you, and I still haven't got myself sorted out because I cannot stand the thought of never being able to feel that way again. Sometimes I wonder if using in moderation is a possibility, or the biggest lie we could ever tell ourselves. I know what it's like being stuck between a white rock and a hard life.

I have no wisdom or advice. I don't know what to do. But I'm glad you wrote that post because it expresses some things really well, and I'm sure there are others who would appreciate it too.

im currently lapsed is why im miserable. 8 months clean with no maintenance meds and i got concussed at work and my stupid concussed brain decided that since it was my birthday id just get high again. nobody called on my birthday and it just felt like the rifht thing to do. if im going to be alone and no ones foing to care then ill just actually be alone and nobody has to care. havent been able to put down the 7oh since then. now im pretty miserable and i dont know how to get back to being clean because life was really challenging then too. things werent gdtting better and it was just fuckng eating me alive thinking that i was getting clean to just have the privilege of knowing how much i hated my life, and how much i wantwd to change my situation, and just not being able to. feeling torally and completely stucj and fucked off and isolated. its terrible. i feel like an adult child. no maturity whatsoever. no girlfriwnd wife partner. no friends. family aeems guarded against being too close to me. i just feel so fucking alone. i wouldnt say im miserable so much as i know whatt my problems are and i feel powerless to change them at this point. im glad you took somethibg drom my writing. thats my big hope in life. that my writing means that my life has been worth suffering through

 

[Kellsee]

Percocets got my attention

But then I met Roxy and fell in love

It’s been a rough relationship. I think Roxy is a narcissistic sociopath lol