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šŸ¤ Cultural šŸ¤ Does anyone plan to do tons of drugs instead of try and survie if they get a diagnosis like cancer?

Dr. John Thackery

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there was a time when i did all drugs in massive quantities. as expected this kicks your ass and you eventually calm down and temper your drug use to just weed or outright quit when you get older.


but i still have it in the back of my mind that when i find out im going to die soon; i’ll just kill myself with drugs and go on a run for the ages doing it. even if its not a terminal diagnoses like cancer, if it’s something that’s enough to destroy quality of life i fantasize about this; but then im aware of ppl with some very severe disabilities or chronic diseases that try to survive as best they can and don’t kill themselves via a drug binge. so i wonder if i would truly follow through in either scenario

anyone else have this plan?
 
i don't think about it much, but i can't see not getting some lsd.


i'd probably want to do some salvia too.. idk. the time dilation thing might be appealing.


i kind of doubt i wouldn't care to party. idk. i'd probably get really emotional and feel like my time is coming or something. i'd probably make a lot of art too.... i have some extra money saved, hopefully i will be able to keep it, for when i get elderly or i find out something goes wrong.

EDIT: i am at the point in my life where i just smoke weed and drink coffee... i'd definitely do some harder stuff if i knew my life were gonna end.
 
i don't think about it much, but i can't see not getting some lsd.


i'd probably want to do some salvia too.. idk. the time dilation thing might be appealing.


i kind of doubt i wouldn't care to party. idk. i'd probably get really emotional and feel like my time is coming or something. i'd probably make a lot of art too.... i have some extra money saved, hopefully i will be able to keep it, for when i get elderly or i find out something goes wrong.

EDIT: i am at the point in my life where i just smoke weed and drink coffee... i'd definitely do some harder stuff if i knew my life were gonna end.


i would do it all probably. opioids benzos crack psychedelics and dissociateves all together.

probably just play fentanyl dosage roulette in a hot tub
 
i would do it all probably. opioids benzos crack psychedelics and dissociateves all together.
if i had some good uppers i'd be doing them for sure...

i'm not a downer guy any more.

hopefully the drugs would vibe with the cancer. maybe they wouldn't feel as good... i'm thinking the psychedelics would give some people an appreciation for the life they had and they'd get good vibes even if they were in pain.. idk.
 
if i had some good uppers i'd be doing them for sure...

i'm not a downer guy any more.

hopefully the drugs would vibe with the cancer. maybe they wouldn't feel as good... i'm thinking the psychedelics would give some people an appreciation for the life they had and they'd get good vibes even if they were in pain.. idk.


i don’t understand how ppl can do uppers without downers to take the edge off. like i could have cocaine in my possession and i’d save it until i also had opioids or benzo because i know how miserable i would be without both of them mixed and only the cocaine.

at some point 15 years ago i just stopped uppers and psychedelics even because i just like to shut off and black out and sleep and stuff when it comes to drugs. my ultimate high is unconsciousness.

but there’s something about a hit of crack that still gives me a lump in my throat when i see someone else hitting crack pipe….i imagine i would get fed up really quick again though if i ever did it again. it’s such a frustrating addiction to be a crackhead. mdma is good too because the serotonergic action mellows out the dopaminergic edge mdma has
 
for some reason being forced to take anti-psychotics and their tired edge made me only want to go up and up.. i can't even imagine being on downers anymore.
 
for some reason being forced to take anti-psychotics and their tired edge made me only want to go up and up.. i can't even imagine being on downers anymore.

i never taken antipsychotics but you always see how they just knock ppl out, and due to my love of getting knocked unconscious by drugs like opioids and benzos i started a thread here once basically trying to ask ppl if i would like antipsychotics for that purpose of knocking me out…the conclusion of the discussion was that i wouldn’t like it because they are not anxiolytic in anyway and when you do wake up you feel like shit and when you wake up and you’re still on opioids or benzos it’s like floating on a cloud of calmness.

but fuck it if i had a pill of some antipsychotic i’d try it just to make sure

it it can make me sleep for a long time i would definitely want to try it
 
If I ever get cancer it’ll probably be because of all the drugs I’ve already done so I’d probably get so mad I’d finally be able to just quit…then I’d die

Apparently the only thing I’m good at is being ass backwards
 
If I ever get cancer it’ll probably be because of all the drugs I’ve already done so I’d probably get so mad I’d finally be able to just quit…then I’d die

Apparently the only thing I’m good at is being ass backwards
i’d blame genetics more than drugs. some ppl can smoke till 80 and drink poison water and never get cancer and others get it as children on all organic foods
 
i never taken antipsychotics but you always see how they just knock ppl out, and due to my love of getting knocked unconscious by drugs like opioids and benzos i started a thread here once basically trying to ask ppl if i would like antipsychotics for that purpose of knocking me out…the conclusion of the discussion was that i wouldn’t like it because they are not anxiolytic in anyway and when you do wake up you feel like shit and when you wake up and you’re still on opioids or benzos it’s like floating on a cloud of calmness.

but fuck it if i had a pill of some antipsychotic i’d try it just to make sure

it it can make me sleep for a long time i would definitely want to try it
yeah. i've taken plenty of opiates, and anti-psychotics are kind of different.

just the whole not having energy thing which i get from a decent dose of opiates....


the bizarre thing about anti-psychotics is that i respond to ASMR sounds very strongly. i thought ASMR response was partially because of dopamine, so i'd think ASMR wouldn't work or would be dulled, but i was actually getting hit by it pretty hard in the psychward when they first put me on the AP's... it was like i was nodding through the meditation seminars and my back felt really euphoric, but sadly i feel like i'm being poisoned and having no energy 24/7 is scary.


i really hate night doses of anti-psychotics and falling asleep with that.... it's like unenjoyable feel like opiates to the point i wouldn't even want opiates anymore.... doesn't really make a lot of sense one lowers dopamine and the other raises it, but i get a KIND OF similar vibe.
 
yeah. i've taken plenty of opiates, and anti-psychotics are kind of different.

just the whole not having energy thing which i get from a decent dose of opiates....


the bizarre thing about anti-psychotics is that i respond to ASMR sounds very strongly. i thought ASMR response was partially because of dopamine, so i'd think ASMR wouldn't work or would be dulled, but i was actually getting hit by it pretty hard in the psychward when they first put me on the AP's... it was like i was nodding through the meditation seminars and my back felt really euphoric, but sadly i feel like i'm being poisoned and having no energy 24/7 is scary.


i really hate night doses of anti-psychotics and falling asleep with that.... it's like unenjoyable feel like opiates to the point i wouldn't even want opiates anymore.... doesn't really make a lot of sense one lowers dopamine and the other raises it, but i get a KIND OF similar vibe.

so if i was gonna try an AP for the purpose of knocking me unconscious but mimimize the dysohiria they cause - which would be a good one?
 
Hopefully I'd be able to get my hands on such things if I knew I was going to die from cancer.

In a "just" world, we would let cancer patients use drugs if they want, because going through treatment completely sober would be hell on Earth.
Even if they might survive, they should still be allowed to enjoy whatever remaining time they have left here.

When my mom had myeloid leukemia, they would have to do bone biopsies on her & drill bone out of her hip. Which is obviously quite painful. And they wouldn't even give a couple days worth of pain meds for it or anything.

She actually beat her cancer. But then it came back 30% for awhile & constipation actually ended up killing her instead. Because it caused an impaction, which then tore her colon. And since she was on chemo, they couldn't do surgery since she had no immune system. So they just stuck her in hospice to die instead.

Oh & it was during "covid", so only 1 person was allowed to stay overnight with her in hospice. Which is bullshit. She had 7 kids (minus the oldest, which also died) who wanted to be there with her & we couldn't. Like my mom gave two fucks about "covid" at a moment like that. I'll never forget (or forgive) them for that.
 
i’d blame genetics more than drugs. some ppl can smoke till 80 and drink poison water and never get cancer and others get it as children on all organic foods
Well yeah there’s that too but I was just thinking about all the sugar I ate while on methadone and the acidic environment this created in my body

Plus all the inflammation triggered by heavy toxins loads and just all the oxidative stress in general
 
Well, as someone who was diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukemia late last year, it's kind of had the opposite effect on me.

Although this cancer is not usually fatal, as long as I take my daily meds, it can morph into more serious conditions later down the line.

But rather than wallowing in self pity and seeking oblivion, as is my usual MO, it's given me a kick up the arse and motivated me to be as productive as possible in case things go south rapidly.

However, if I had been given a terminal diagnosis, then no doubt I would be getting fucked off my face on the hardest drugs possible (but those would be prescribed anyway).

But you never really know until it happens...
 
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Well yeah there’s that too but I was just thinking about all the sugar I ate while on methadone and the acidic environment this created in my body

Plus all the inflammation triggered by heavy toxins loads and just all the oxidative stress in general
well don’t blame yourself too much of it every happens

even the additictiom to substances and sugar itself; we are born how we are. we didn’t ask or choose to have these sensitive and fragile minds that predisposed us to falling into additiction

we didn’t ask to be born into dysfunctional families with bad genetics regarding mental illness, addition or sensitivity to disease.

we were born the way we are and without the tools or make up to avoid our addiction. that wasn’t our choice, that was our parents fault. we suffered eve before or without drugs because that is who we are at the core and that is the fault of the ppl that brought us into a world full of pain and suffering and rolled the dice with a child’s life.

disclaimer: we do have free will to make positive or negative decisions for ourselves; but different ppl start at different points, not everyone has a equal and for some ppl like us we were born disadvantaged in where our starting point was with regards to resilience and mental health and predisposition to addiction.

so blame your parents that brought your guaranteed to get sick and die meat prison for your soul into this meat grinder of a world - when they knew what the world and its risks entailed and they knew that you were safe from all that harm in the pre born , pre conceived, quiet, safe and peaceful state of non existence. they brought you into this world full of danger when you were safe in the void of non existence before for eternity going backwards in time. and now they brought you here and you have to weather the storm of life.

don’t blame yourself….if anyone is to blame it’s your parents.
 
so if i was gonna try an AP for the purpose of knocking me unconscious but mimimize the dysohiria they cause - which would be a good one?
i was prescribed quetiapine and something else at night and i was knocked out. don't know which one was causing me to pass out... would not recommend... not gonna be like opiates. i just hate feeling down in any way at this point in my life unless it's falling asleep naturally.

EDIT: the only reason why i would recommend AP's is if someone had persistent hallucinations they didn't like or really couldn't stay in touch with reality and then ime i would say risperdal would help... i'd recommend some other type of med for sleeping.
 
never taken opioids, I'm saving them for end of life, need to figure out the best timing for them, I want to enjoy them and not let them ruin my life but they're very much a bucket list item for me. The nearer I get to the end the more I suspect I'll be drawn to the holy trinity....
 
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