• Welcome Guest

    Forum Guidelines Bluelight Rules
    Fun 💃 Threads Overdosed? Click
    D R U G   C U L T U R E
  • DC Moderators: ghostfreak | VerbalTruist

🌟🌟 Social 🌟🌟 What Was YOUR Nightly Fix? v. Smoking the Midnight Oil

Sp4rky said:
Can barely type, nodding out, eyeballed way too much IC-26 or maybe that’s a lie and I’m just a junkie piece of trash.

Shit like my mom not responding to my texts, getting a letter about my whole ambulance OD from my health insurance and then right after getting notified of a doctor’s appointment made really soon, which like… never happens, they were scheduled for 3 months later so I fear my main doctor team for my chronic illness got notified of my OD and I just can’t take that. It would ruin fucking everything in my life, especially my trans healthcare and just fuck.

slightly more awake and anxious again since I started writing this, doing a tiny bump more IC-26 and previously added 10mg more diazepam. Just need to knock myself tf out and hopefully get some sleep and less paranoia tomorrow. Disappointed in myself but so doped up I just don’t care

Hope y’all having a better night, or idk I feel good but objectively bad situation
Click to expand...
Goddamn you wanna OD again!?!
At least weigh the stuff, FFS!!
And stop redosing!
😭😭😭
 
Sp4rky said:
Can barely type, nodding out, eyeballed way too much IC-26 or maybe that’s a lie and I’m just a junkie piece of trash.

Shit like my mom not responding to my texts, getting a letter about my whole ambulance OD from my health insurance and then right after getting notified of a doctor’s appointment made really soon, which like… never happens, they were scheduled for 3 months later so I fear my main doctor team for my chronic illness got notified of my OD and I just can’t take that. It would ruin fucking everything in my life, especially my trans healthcare and just fuck.

slightly more awake and anxious again since I started writing this, doing a tiny bump more IC-26 and previously added 10mg more diazepam. Just need to knock myself tf out and hopefully get some sleep and less paranoia tomorrow. Disappointed in myself but so doped up I just don’t care

Hope y’all having a better night, or idk I feel good but objectively bad situation
Click to expand...
Keep your head up, friend. Things will get better. I wish you the best of luck. Please don't hesitate to reach out to me if you need someone to talk to.
 
Mushoku_Sensei said:
Goddamn you wanna OD again!?!
At least weigh the stuff, FFS!!
And stop redosing!
😭😭😭
Click to expand...
Not to get too dark in this thread, but I’ve always been passively suicidal and I think you may relate to being so high on opioids you literally don’t care if you don’t wake up cuz you feel so fucking good

But yeah I will be weighing it out, problem was I was paranoid as fuck and I still have no curtains. My nosy roommates were sitting in the shared kitchen from which they can see EVERYTHING I do, I have 0 privacy except when it gets dark enough for my crude DIY curtains to not be see-through .—. Hopefully will get curtains tomorrow tho…

I’m alive so dw, and actually feel pretty well rested so I guess I’m either still high or just needed sleep
 
paranoid android said:
60mg's of IV morphine
Some bubble gum weed
Click to expand...
Man you mentioning your morphine always makes me a little jealous, is it like the pharmaceutical grade IV liquid?

Only thing I love about surgeries is getting higher doses of that after surgery, as someone with chronic pain and a higher tolerance to the usual non-opioid pain meds here in the Netherlands :’) Fuck paracetamol culture man
 
Sp4rky said:
Man you mentioning your morphine always makes me a little jealous, is it like the pharmaceutical grade IV liquid?

Only thing I love about surgeries is getting higher doses of that after surgery, as someone with chronic pain and a higher tolerance to the usual non-opioid pain meds here in the Netherlands :’) Fuck paracetamol culture man
Click to expand...

Lol sorry. It's not a liquid its a pill
 
Cant sleep and its currently 06:35….

Something about the way the warm light of the morning sun is hitting my curtains from behind the window, reminds me of one of those summer mornings back when I was 17 staying up all night on amphetamines or other stims. My cells can almost taste the feeling of the amphetamine, its strange, I thought I had forgot what it felt like, but its such a strong deja vu it brings me right back to those summer days and I can feel the memory of that amphetamine buzz as if I had just tasted it moments ago…

I guess thats my cue to seriously get some sleep. Got a lot of doctor appointments the coming week and a really important test coming up, cant afford to fuck up my sleep schedule.

Anyways, 10mg melatonin and my last 12mg nicotine pouch
 
Wanted to smoke some meth, but was already too late during the day, so smoking 500 cigarettes instead😞

And another 0.15mg of IC-26 + finally some weed again later, been too long since I smoked some.

Wishing y’all a good evening :)
 
Alcoholfree beer.

Have three grams of meth that I won't be smoking until maybe this weekend, likely even later.
 
Sp4rky said:
Wanted to smoke some meth, but was already too late during the day, so smoking 500 cigarettes instead😞

And another 0.15mg of IC-26 + finally some weed again later, been too long since I smoked some.

Wishing y’all a good evening :)
Click to expand...
Good to see you re limiting the meth a bit... Hope you can get some sleep tonight...
I'm back down to 12 g Kratom/day, but means wd every 5 hours (now as well starting to sweat, but if I redose I won't sleep again). .. Boy I wish I had some unspoiled opioid receptors left... But if I had any I'd just burn them asap 😑... I realized today, why I couldn't react to you when you said I might relate to feeling too good to care about an OD: That's because I hardly get high anymore. And if I do, it's like a matter of moments when I can even feel it. It's like a major success if I manage fr once in a fortnight 😒. Those days are long gone when my brain could be squeezed for that exquisite bliss easily. But even then I WOULD care a lot to not OD because long before any serious breathing issues I'd feel sick af and writhe in pain from the intestinal paralysis.... As good as bad, both hardly ever happens now. I guess my body is done reacting to opis much. The only thing I can count on is for WD to come as sure as the Amen in church...
Don't even want to vape weed now as it made me so crazy last time that I didn't sleep because of my madness boiling over 🤦
Just gonna lie down and sweat through the next night dress now.
 
- 10mg deschloroetizolam
- 15-20mg IC-26
- line of K

Had a good day, ending it with a little K trip, might do some more K, haven’t K-holed in a while so unsure where my tolerance is at but it is getting hard as hell to type already so uhh yess

Have a good evening y’all, I’m going on a little blissful space trip :)
 
1mg suboxone (my daily dose)
200mg thc (edible)
A bowl of some blue zangria flower + hash bomb bubble hash
50mg cbn
5mg melatonin
25mg doxylamine
2 double vodka lemonade
And some ass.
 
Sp4rky said:
Bit late but fuck I’ve had the worst birthday weekend of my life. Will try to keep the ramble short to stay OT, so Friday night’s chemicals were:

- 0.45g insufflated + 0.20g meth smoked
- roughly 0.5g 2-mmc
- roughly 0.25g speed
- 165mg MDMA
- 35mg diazepam

Had a shit birthday last Thursday, but tried to at least make Friday fun so I had planned a big picnic with almost all my friends, stressful morning getting all the food & shit ready for only 2 out of 15 of my friends to show up :/

Like I was prepared for some to cancel but yeah. That made me spiral like mad, hadn’t slept or eaten much in days too and my two friends also had to leave early.

I felt like shit, had a mental breakdown, relapsed with self harm again, took 10mg diazepam to calm me tf down. Had planned to go to this rave Friday night with a friend, he canceled as well so at that point I just couldn’t give a shit anymore, snorted a bunch of meth, speed, 2-mmc and ended up impulsively smoking the last of the gram, inside my room, not even opening a window. I think I even tried to smoke some 2-mmc but I was so fucked up that I have no clue if that even worked.

Went to the rave alone, arrived way too late in a hurry and lost my earbuds. More 2-mmc and took 0.75 of an xtc pill. The xtc combined with all the other stuff really REALLY fucked me up. My vision still hasn’t fully recovered, I was seeing double for hours.

On the way back I felt sad and incredibly angry, hadn’t had a single social interaction and missed most of the rave by being way too late. Got harassed and followed and nearly punched one of them but the guy’s friend and security at the train station intervened and a kind woman stayed with me the rest of the train ride.

Then in the train I thought I saw two of my roommates. My sunglasses broke and it was incredibly obvious I was high as fuck, so I (thought???) I heard them talk about me and calling the cops and my mom, etc… etc… then they followed me to the tram stop, or at least that’s what I was convinced was happening, so I hid in a bike parking garage for hours tweaked tf out.

I still don’t know how much of the shit with my roommates actually happend and I am moving out as I’m typing this. I made a huge mistake accepting that g of meth because now that and opioids are all I can think about, but I can’t go to my dealer cuz moving back to my mom’s place and shit.

When I finally got home from the rave I had another breakdown and was seriously considering suicide until one of my rave friends called me asking if I was okay and needed help. I seriously owe him shit because he managed to calm me down enough to take some diazepam and then I passed tf out for fuck knows how long.

I’m doing ‘better’ now or at least not actively suicidal anymore. Just benzo’d tf out while trying to act sober for my family who are helping me move back home. Depressed as hell about having to go back to the shithole that is my mom’s house.

But the friend who called me yesterday is the boyfriend of the girl who wants to find an apartment together, as we’re both in a similar shitty home situation and we’re very similar life style wise, or more so, we both love drugs and raving our problems away while also needing a stable, calm home and our creative and nerdy hobbies.

Said I wasn’t going to ramble but oops. Too high to care. Have to go now though, hope y’all had a better weekend aha :’)
Click to expand...
I appreciate this post very much, the realness of it all. Hope you are doing well on the suicide stuff. There's always hope for tomorrow man.

Can I ask you a question. When you said you took meth and then you took speed, what exactly are you referring to as far as the speed?
 
latenighter said:
I appreciate this post very much, the realness of it all. Hope you are doing well on the suicide stuff. There's always hope for tomorrow man.

Can I ask you a question. When you said you took meth and then you took speed, what exactly are you referring to as far as the speed?
Click to expand...
Glad to hear my rambling means something to someone haha, I barely remember writing this goddamn😭

Not actively suicidal right now, it comes and goes with me, but generally have been good on that, thanks :)

And the speed is referring to amphetamine powder.

Methamphetamine is usually nicknamed Tina here in the Netherlands, at least by the average party favor dealers.

Always found it interesting how different naming can be for different countries or regions. Like I accidentally nearly bought crack once, as it was referred to as ‘base’, which I thought meant base amphetamine, but in this case base referred to base cocaine, i.e. crack.

Was real disappointed by that one lol .—.
 
Sp4rky said:
Glad to hear my rambling means something to someone haha, I barely remember writing this goddamn😭

Not actively suicidal right now, it comes and goes with me, but generally have been good on that, thanks :)

And the speed is referring to amphetamine powder.

Methamphetamine is usually nicknamed Tina here in the Netherlands, at least by the average party favor dealers.

Always found it interesting how different naming can be for different countries or regions. Like I accidentally nearly bought crack once, as it was referred to as ‘base’, which I thought meant base amphetamine, but in this case base referred to base cocaine, i.e. crack.

Was real disappointed by that one lol .—.
Click to expand...
I see. I've never really seen this before. Just amphetamine powder. When if first messed with the stuff in the late 90's early 2000's there was powder before glass got popular. I believe some of it was p2p dope which I loved. But pretty sure it was still meth, just not glassed up.

I'd be curious the difference from the stuff on the street today and this speed you speak of.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top