N0ph0n0
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2026
- Messages
- 211
As of writing t⁹lwhis i am 18 years old, i currently am diagnosed with high intellectual potential, level 1 autism aka what you probably know as asperger syndrome (this diagnosis has often changed over the years as i have a psychiatric profile that does'nt fit anything in the DSM-V although this closely resemble cyclothymia, social communication disorder and well... i hate that i even resemble it but BPD), i am confirmed to have a SEVERE case of ADHD, i also have PTSD which i will never discuss the details of. I have been fascinated by drugs since i was 11, the drugs never really interested me what interested me was how they caused changes in the way people think, it's the exact same reason that i love schizophrenics and other kind of mental "disorders/illness" (i think normal people are the real weirdos). Once i finnally got my hands on my first psychoactive substance (my beloved DXM) at 14/15 i was instantly hooked, within a month a smoked weed for the first time, a month later i drank my first beer and with the next month i was smoking weed every single day, 2 months later i had tried mushrooms, speed, cocaine (some real good peruvian flake never found better coke than the one from my first plug, sure he was allways late showing up with some powder under his nose but i hope hes doing allright down in the pen) molly and the same night as the molly i smoked my first cigarette. After spending a month or two going ham spending every dime my whole stash was discovered and i stopped using the hard shit for a while, in the mean time i tried xanax, ativan, LSD, DMT, DPH, DMH, bupropion, ketamine, actual MDMA (over here it's all MDA) and my substance of choice meth. I did'nt think i would get addicted, i thougth i was a dissociative guy, that i was'nt into speed (not strong enough) or cocaine (too expensive, not long enough and it makes me too egomaniacle) but meth... man meth was perfect, gets me high, makes me happy (not as happy as weed or DXM), does'nt stop me from eating or sleeping (at first it did but with enough dedication and maybe some clonidine i can fall asleep 2-3 hours after smoking a hit, as for the hunger i just love food too much) and can live a relatively normal life on crystal, i look to sober to most people, i can go to work and it even makes me better at staying calm i do get some dramatic ideas but i wont do anything rash i take the time to make plans well i am a bit lying since on two occasions i took way too much and i did some stupid shit but that only happened because i misjudged the size of the line i snorted. Currently i am 34 days fully sober and 2 months sober from meth in specific. I am taking 45mg of ritalin XR, 150mg of venlafaxine XR, 0.05mg clonidine and 50mg of naltrexone for the morning and another 0.1mg of clonidine with another adrenergic antagonist med i forgot the name of since there was an error at the pharmacy and the prescription had not been received still havent tried it yet but oh well the wonders of the Canadian healthcare system. The naltrexone is weirdly enough working wonders allmost entierly killed my cravings for drugs of all kinds (execpt cigarettes which i recently developed an addiction to).
Hypocrisy, lol
