What’s like being on it? I’ve had a lot of access to ketamine different preparations but never tried it I’ve had some struggles before with DP/DR from chronic anxiety and heavy psychedelic use and I read that it can make it come back that’s why I’ve stayed away thus far.
As other people said; It disconnects you from your body. A small dose will get you wobbly, take away pain and for me reduce general anxiety. A bit higher and it starts to become hard to move at all without stumbling all over the place. Go further and you don't feel like you have a body at all. You're out in the void somewhere floating around in the dark.
I preferred MXE to K. It had more of a body high. By that I mean MXE felt "warmer" kind of like an opioid where K can feel "cold". But once you reach the hole they're pretty much the same other than the duration. Both holes have their own character of course but the general feeling is much the same.
It's an introspective experience when you go beyond the very lower end of the dosing chart. Impossible to be social at all once you've crossed the line. You're off in the void by yourself until it's over. When you start to come down the feeling of having a body starts to return slowly. For the next couple of days you can feel disconnected from both it and the world around you.
This is why they're more addictive than something like LSD. They're moreish if you have the personality type that likes to be alone or that wants to escape day-to-day life. If you suffer from chronic pain they can be very addictive. Since unlike opioids you don't feel pain at all even with smallish doses.
Imagine there is a cord between your brain and your body. It's plugged up like a power cord on each side. Taking a large dose is like yanking that cord out of the plug and letting both the brain and body operate on their own. There is still a connection of course (otherwise you wouldn't continue to breath) but as far as you're concerned it doesn't exist.
When I would hole I'd go off into the void to other places filled with machinescapes and float around while I learned the secrets of the universe. All of which I promptly forgot as soon as the experience started to subside. Which is why they're moreish. It leaves you with the feeling that if you go back again maybe you'll bring back what you've forgotten on the next go-round.
K doesn't have this problem as much as MXE did. MXE is deceptively moreish. Since it was possible to stay below the hole without seeming too off to other people. At first it doesn't feel like it has any downsides at all and it feels better than most other substances people use daily. You start convincing yourself that you'll just take a little bump right now and won't take anymore later. Then you take another bump, and another and another. You lie to yourself that you won't go back in the bag tomorrow. But you always do.
I handed out A LOT of MXE to many different types of people. Alcoholics, junkies, burn outs, coke/crack heads, benzo addicts, speed freaks... All of them LOVED it and wanted more. My friend was convinced we'd get rich the first time I shared some with him because no one in this area had ever heard of it before and it was "the perfect drug" in his words. No bad comedown, no hangover, no feeling of withdrawal, no feeling of poisoning yourself, it was really really fun and it seems like it had no downside at all (at least at first). Next thing we knew it was 24 hours later and he's still bugging me to let him have some more. I had to remind him that part of testing a drug was letting it wear off. Which convinced him to lay off for awhile. Then the next morning I went in the bag anyway, felt ashamed so I told him so we started up again. Like I said deceptively moreish.
I didn't have this issue with K personally since it wasn't as pleasant to consume it (and it was more expensive and took more material to get anywhere). But I've known a lot of people that developed the same problem with it. They had to have their 2-3 hours everyday where they shot for the hole. They'd keep going back until their bladder was damaged for life.
