• NMI Moderators: M!$TER-ED

So tired of the isolation... The loneliness

Puffery

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 19, 2025
Messages
10
Location
Canada Winnipeg MB
Recently I've moved to Manitoba Canada from Yellowknife NWT... 3 years I have been isolated in complete loneliness living in the Bible belt, I am legitimately going insane I need a friend locally in the Winnipeg area... I am a long time "13 year" IV opioid user I work full time, I just need someone to relate too, message me please...
 
I hear you, life can be lonely sometimes. Do you have any hobbies or interests that can be done socially? I'm from southern United States east side, specifically grew up in Ga. I didn't know Canada had a Bible Belt? If it is anything like US bible belts you have a church on every corner. Religion is big in southern us especially southern baptist. BTW, I grew up in the grand ole southern baptist tradition. My dad was a SB preacher. I'm a junior my dad was senior that put me first in line to be born, I have two younger brothers. I was born in France,

Tell me about the area you live in? I've been to Toronto from New York State. Winnipeg is the capital of Canada, looking cultural highlights Winnipeg has world class performing arts, vibrant festivals, museums, Live music, etc. There are a lot of things to do, so what's up?

3 years is a long time to be isolated. I used to self-isolate, I did it for 30 years. Medication played a role in me choosing not to deal with life. I couldn't stop it, finally I took too many herbal supplements mixed with a bunch of medication I was prescribed to take. I was committed into the hospital by my wife...it was what broke the cycle.

Is there something going on in your life that is causing you to isolate from people and places? I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder in 1975. Life is not easy for anyone not just people who have mental health distractions, for people like me these distractions are an add bonus to what the mind is capable of doing. It's fascinating if you're not being bothered by symptoms.

Do have places to hike or walk, where you can be one with nature? How about libraries, zoos, or parks?
 
When I was on hard drugs my hormones were fucked up big time,I was so lonely.Thought of volunteering or something so maybe I could have my own friend.Then I got off of opiates and the loneliness went away and now I enjoy solitude oddly so much so.Easier said than done but get clean and I bet things will fall into place where they belong. I just wish you peace and to live in gratitude,most of us are so fucking fortunate * hug*
 
When I was on hard drugs my hormones were fucked up big time,I was so lonely.Thought of volunteering or something so maybe I could have my own friend.Then I got off of opiates and the loneliness went away and now I enjoy solitude oddly so much so.Easier said than done but get clean and I bet things will fall into place where they belong. I just wish you peace and to live in gratitude,most of us are so fucking fortunate * hug*
Getting off the opiates has always been something I would love to achieve. Just to break away from the dependency alone would be such a burden lifted off my shoulders. I am on Methadone right now, and have been on either that or Suboxone for years... It's like being in hand cuffs, if I had the cuffs removed I might be able to more easily move to an area where I am not so alien to the culture. Doing anything that might threaten my prescription puts a sinking fear in the pit of my stomach, so I am hesitant to take any risk.

Thank you for the reply, I have never been one for social media, or socializing online in any form, so this is a huge step into the unknown for me.
 
I hear you, life can be lonely sometimes. Do you have any hobbies or interests that can be done socially? I'm from southern United States east side, specifically grew up in Ga. I didn't know Canada had a Bible Belt? If it is anything like US bible belts you have a church on every corner. Religion is big in southern us especially southern baptist. BTW, I grew up in the grand ole southern baptist tradition. My dad was a SB preacher. I'm a junior my dad was senior that put me first in line to be born, I have two younger brothers. I was born in France,

Tell me about the area you live in? I've been to Toronto from New York State. Winnipeg is the capital of Canada, looking cultural highlights Winnipeg has world class performing arts, vibrant festivals, museums, Live music, etc. There are a lot of things to do, so what's up?

3 years is a long time to be isolated. I used to self-isolate, I did it for 30 years. Medication played a role in me choosing not to deal with life. I couldn't stop it, finally I took too many herbal supplements mixed with a bunch of medication I was prescribed to take. I was committed into the hospital by my wife...it was what broke the cycle.

Is there something going on in your life that is causing you to isolate from people and places? I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder in 1975. Life is not easy for anyone not just people who have mental health distractions, for people like me these distractions are an add bonus to what the mind is capable of doing. It's fascinating if you're not being bothered by symptoms.

Do have places to hike or walk, where you can be one with nature? How about libraries, zoos, or parks?
Unfortunately I don't really have any hobbies that seem to align with the local culture around here. Yeah Canada has a Bible belt as well, biggest is the prairies around Winnipeg which I am located, I have been here 3 years now. I have never been in a situation like this before I feel like I'm going insane either I need to find a way to socialize with someone I can relate too or I need to relocate. I have been all over Canada and I have never felt so isolated, the whole reason I moved here was to be closer to the only family I have left, so if possible I would like to stay, but it feels like I am on an entire other planet here.

I am located about an hour away from Winnipeg in the prairie, literally churches everywhere. I feel like an alien to everyone around me. I work roughly 12 hours a day 6 days a week delivering furniture locally, so I am exposed to others regardless if I wanted or not, but the culture around here is so different than what I have ever known that in 3 years I have only made one single person I can relate too on any level.

I definitely suffer from some mental health issues other then obviously being an addict, but nothing diagnosed as everything is always attributed to the addiction as being the problem rather than being a symptom of something deeper. I am on Methadone so I've at least managed to get it under control somewhat, but it's always been an issue.

Despite only being 36 I never been one for social media, or socializing online in any form, so this is definitely out of the norm for me. The closest I have ever come to online social media has been online gaming, I have lurked BL for years but this is pretty much my first time ever creating an account and posting anything.

Thank you for the reply, it's somewhat comforting to know I do have a potential place where I can reach out, honestly I didn't expect any response at all. Thank you...
 
I'm similar to you in that I'm also not religious, I got a ton of mental health fuckery going on, and I find it difficult to socialise (diagnosed autistic in my case). Opiates are also my favourite drug.

You will always find willing ears here on Bluelight, it's the best most genuine Internet community I've ever come across and the only one I could be bothered signing up to. You'll find some people you get on with on here in no time. Check out the differing forums and enjoy hanging out!


PS I DM'd you.
 
Yellowknife

Neat, my favorite pirate radio station on shortwave used to broadcast from there. Always wanted to visit.

Loneliness

I've been in the same boat as you for the past 2-3 years. I'm also a bit of a junkie.

For me the problem is it's so hard to find anyone now that wants to do anything other then sitting in front of a TV. I can't stand watching TV and I can't stand playing video games anymore. I kept trying to hang out with the few friends I have left (all the others died young) but all they wanted to do was sit in front of a TV and watch MSM, youtubers covering MSM or play video games that frankly weren't interesting at all. I tried to get them to play older video games that are still fun but they claim they're too old and not fun. In reality, they just aren't piss easy. One of them claims I "hate everything" because I don't want to watch MSM, talk about politics or watch those awful youtubers that do nothing but talk about how women are shit or whatever twitter is ranting about today. Shame, guy used to be really smart and we'd have thought provoking convos. Now all he wants to do is sit on his ass, smoke pot and watch that awful "men going their own way" garbage. Constantly complains about the state of women while he beds multiple whores every week and pretty much ignores his own children (he has 3 by three different women).

My best friend is better but all we'd end up doing is playing the same video games we've been playing for 20+ years which I find boring now. Plus he never gets out of his chair. Just sits there all day shoving kratom in his mouth, snorting percocets, and smoking pot. He can afford it because he's 100% disabled and gets a fat check every month. He can't do stuff like go hiking anymore. Always wants to ask me if I've got some LSD but he never wants to go outside or do anything interesting on it other than sitting around watching movies or something. Can't stand taking LSD just to sit in front of a screen. I should probably call him because he's been trying to get in touch with me since Christmas but I keep putting it off. I love the guy but God Damn it's so boring doing nothing but staring at a screen. I loaned him a bunch of books but he didn't even bother reading them....

I think a lot of the problem with people now is they have no spare cash to go out and do anything at all. Even hiking is out of their reach now because they can't afford the gasoline to drive to the nearest state park.

Even when I do go to such places by myself I can't meet new people casually anymore. They're all zombies with their eyes glued to their phones. I sometimes go hiking down this trail that's 10+ miles to the top of a mountain with a fire tower on it. I'll sit up there for an hour or two enjoying the view and relaxing it. It never fails. A group of younger people will eventually show up. There will sometimes be 5-10 of them in a group. They don't do anything but take selfies or sometimes ask me to take a group picture of them. Then instead of enjoying the view or having a casual convo with me they'll all txt with each other on their phones or post selfies or livestream to tiktok or whatever the fuck they're always doing. If I politely ask them to please not film me they get offended about me "ruining the background" and act like I'm being rude.

If they weren't so hellbent on streaming constantly I would offer them a free hit of LSD or capsule of MDMA too...

It's so hard to find anyone now that isn't a phone zombie. It's maddening. I've pretty much given up on dating all together now because it seems like no one is interested in actually meeting someone IRL anymore. They all want to go through dating apps and they think you're lying to them if you tell them you don't do txting and have a landline phone. I eventually got rid of the landline too since no one ever calls it but Indian scammers.

I have the same type of problems in town. It's so rare to see anyone else that isn't constantly on their phones. Even the old folks (50+) are addicted to it. In fact, some of them are more addicted than the young folks. I feel like I'm the only one that isn't a zombie when I'm out in public sometimes. It's very refreshing when I actually come across someone that doesn't have their phone out and actually wants to talk even if it's about the weather.

Oh by the way don't knock the "bible belt" and church until you've tried it. Find out when your local churches are doing things like having "friend day", chili cook offs, or hosting some kind of event where they're serving food. In church I've noticed people are less prone to engaging in their phone addiction. There are a lot of people that go to church during those events that aren't Christians. I've found most Christian churchs to be very welcoming and most of the time they're aren't pushy about wanting to convert you to their cult. You can meet some interesting people there and maybe a nice girl if you're lucky. In smaller communities the local community is sometimes centered around the church like that.

Usually, it's the women that are the glue that hold those churches together. Through them you can meet some of their family members that don't regularly attend (such people usually show up on days when the church is giving away food). That can help you integrate into the community and meet new people that don't regularly attend. Service is usually only an hour tops at most churches. The rest of the day they're doing other stuff like eating together, playing softball games, basketball and other activities like that. There isn't a requirement that you believe in Jesus and God to attend church. Plenty of people go that don't just to keep their wives happy or because they're new to the community. Give it a try you might be pleasently surprised. Worse case you'll get to eat a good meal for free and only had to sit through a 1 hour service you didn't enjoy. Most of the time the services are pretty good even if you aren't into the Bible. They typically teach good life lessons and the stories are interesting. I suggest giving the Bible a read sometime as well if you're bored. It's helpful to know about what's contained in it. Approch it as fiction if you want most people do.
 
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I can vouch for church being a good place to meet people and socialize. Although, I'm not a believer, I go to church to support and spend time with my wife. Who knows if you give church a try you might get something out of it?
As an individual like everyone else you are responsible for your health and wellbeing, especially your wellbeing. I understand there may be unavoidable limitations in life, however, it is up to people like you and me and everyone else to get the most out of life we possibly can.

The fact that we have brains that have the ability to make choices unlike animals who are hardwired to act on instinct, we choose who we want to be, how we want to act, and what we want to do from an endless supply of possible options. I wish I had learned this when I was young, I think I would have made different choices in life, on the other hand I'm glad I understand now that the choices I make decides the person I want to be instead of blindly wandering through life bouncing around like a pinball from one disaster to another. I control who I am and what I want to do. Don't wait until you're old like me to take advantage of choosing what you really want in life. Because that is what you're doing now. You may not believe me, but your life is exactly the way you want it to be.

I agree life is hard and unfair, but the difficulties you face do not define who you are, they do not control your life. That is not their responsibility, that is your responsibility.
 
I can vouch for church being a good place to meet people and socialize. Although, I'm not a believer, I go to church to support and spend time with my wife. Who knows if you give church a try you might get something out of it?
As an individual like everyone else you are responsible for your health and wellbeing, especially your wellbeing. I understand there may be unavoidable limitations in life, however, it is up to people like you and me and everyone else to get the most out of life we possibly can.

The fact that we have brains that have the ability to make choices unlike animals who are hardwired to act on instinct, we choose who we want to be, how we want to act, and what we want to do from an endless supply of possible options. I wish I had learned this when I was young, I think I would have made different choices in life, on the other hand I'm glad I understand now that the choices I make decides the person I want to be instead of blindly wandering through life bouncing around like a pinball from one disaster to another. I control who I am and what I want to do. Don't wait until you're old like me to take advantage of choosing what you really want in life. Because that is what you're doing now. You may not believe me, but your life is exactly the way you want it to be.

I agree life is hard and unfair, but the difficulties you face do not define who you are, they do not control your life. That is not their responsibility, that is your responsibility.
Awesome Proud Of You GIF by Shalita Grant
 
Hey everybody, I'd like to move this over to New Member Introductions. This just isn't the right place for it. Man, you have to get out there. Believe me, I've gone through periods of feeling isolated/alienated. I go to AA meetings pretty regularly. This is where I have done a lot of my "socializing" since getting on the wagon. I found I couldn't easily fit in with other people. The only people who understood me, that I could tell how crazy I was and still be supported, were in the rooms. Some of the best friends I've had in my entire life were met in the rooms. Still, that's no substitute for proper socializing.

I get a lot of my jollies from the work that I do. I get to talk to a lot of interesting people every day, each with a different, fucked up story. I get to share my experiences with them and we have some camaraderie in that. Then, of course I have all you guys. With all of these things combined, I've cobbled together a "second life" following my cessation of street drugs. It is a delicate balance. Relationships, social and romantic, can seriously derail you from your progress. Believe me, I just made a big mistake with a relationship and it almost cost me everything.

You have to get out there, but you have to be smart about it. This is another thing that I find helpful about going to meetings. You have other people just as depraved and crazy as you who can give you real, practical advice on these matters.

Definitely try something new man. it sounds like you're in some serious doldrums. I'm sure Winter in Manitoba doesn't help. f you ever need to talk man, I'm here and so is everyone else. You've at least got some friends in us and that's a good place to start :)

BDD-NMI
 
l would actually like to add something along the lines of what @Keif' Richards said. I go to group therapy twice a week that isn’t focused specifically on addiction/drug abuse. It is just focused on mental health as a whole and a good chunk of the people in the groups also have current and past drug abuse issues (they obviously often go hand in hand) One of them is a social support group and I honestly forget what the other one is called but it deals with emotional regulation. I’ve been going for about 5 months and it has made such a huge difference in my life and sense of wellbeing. I have met friends there that I see outside of group and it has really just helped with the isolation I had slipped into for a long time. I am still an addict and I am still in active addiction but that doesn’t mean I can’t ALSO get emotional help. I would highly suggest seeing if something like this is available in your area(if it’s something you think you might be into) feel free to PM me about it and I could maybe give you some details on how I found and got into it if you want.
 
^^^ And it is amazing how good it can feel too.

Could it possibly all be as large as life and even more amazing than your Wonderful Post !

@PenguinWithNapalm Thank You so Much for Sharing that too. Aw. Very Nice. 🌻
 
Hey everybody, I'd like to move this over to New Member Introductions. This just isn't the right place for it. Man, you have to get out there. Believe me, I've gone through periods of feeling isolated/alienated. I go to AA meetings pretty regularly. This is where I have done a lot of my "socializing" since getting on the wagon. I found I couldn't easily fit in with other people. The only people who understood me, that I could tell how crazy I was and still be supported, were in the rooms. Some of the best friends I've had in my entire life were met in the rooms. Still, that's no substitute for proper socializing.

I get a lot of my jollies from the work that I do. I get to talk to a lot of interesting people every day, each with a different, fucked up story. I get to share my experiences with them and we have some camaraderie in that. Then, of course I have all you guys. With all of these things combined, I've cobbled together a "second life" following my cessation of street drugs. It is a delicate balance. Relationships, social and romantic, can seriously derail you from your progress. Believe me, I just made a big mistake with a relationship and it almost cost me everything.

You have to get out there, but you have to be smart about it. This is another thing that I find helpful about going to meetings. You have other people just as depraved and crazy as you who can give you real, practical advice on these matters.

Definitely try something new man. it sounds like you're in some serious doldrums. I'm sure Winter in Manitoba doesn't help. f you ever need to talk man, I'm here and so is everyone else. You've at least got some friends in us and that's a good place to start :)

BDD-NMI
Thanks
 
Welcome to Bluelight. I’ve always wanted to visit Yellow Knife also, or just Northwest Territory in general.

I’m sorry to hear you are feeling isolated, I struggle with feeling like that also. Hopefully logging on here will help. It’s surprising how strong bonds can be on a site like this sometimes.
 
Welcome to bluelight.

Sorry about the position you are in -- I feel you to. Same middle of nowhere bible belt situation -- may I give you some genuine advice (If not just stop reading)

no judgement but 13 is awfully young to be IV'ing drugs and working full time! Aren't there child labor laws in Canada? At any rate it suggests to me you are probably pretty mature for your age and probably have been through some shit.....

You got ALOT OF FUTURE......and ALOT to either DO or NOT DO in your late teens and 20's. Why are you not in school, or are you doing both?

I would focus on school and trying to save up a bit of coin to either get out of there when you of age. Till than just try to enjoy life in a way that does not stagnate your maturity. I imagine other 13 yr olds freak out if they see track marks, may alienate you from your peers....socialization etc.... I would try and stop that. Taper, switch ROA.

Keep laying the foundation for the future you want and maximize enjoyment during the present. You feel isolated, spend more time with co-workers, schoolmates, go chasing girls/boys at the mall.
 
I just need someone to relate too, message me please...
If you need someone to relate you have made a step in the right direction by coming to BL. In order to have a physical contact to relate to you must make yourself available. This means stepping out of your comfort zone and trusting people you may not know at first. It takes time and effort to socialize and establish friendships.

Trust your instincts to determine the types of people you want to get to know and share your life with. That is what you're doing sharing a part of life and interests with. Friendships are based on trust and mutual likes and interests. You have to give a little of yourself for people to respond in like manner.

There was a time when paranoia prevented me leaving the security of home. I didn't venture outside, not even in my own yard for fear of the unknown. It was horrible but whatever I was afraid might happen to me was enough for me to stay inside. I don't know your situation but if you are concerned about the possible outcomes, these things are seldom true or realistic fears.

I ended up facing my fears by immersing myself in what I feared most. I soon realized fear was related to my own insecurity of low-esteem, depression and lack of worth in response to childhood trauma. Having the cause and reason for my social anxiety, paranoia plus a bunch of glitches in the matrix I met the challenge head on and changed my life.

Everyone feels less than perfect and because of this it gives everyone a starting place to evaluate and make changes if one so desires. Whatever is standing in your way of achieving contentment and happiness in your own skin exists because you put it there and can likewise be resolved by you. This will happen when are ready and choose to make changes in your life.
 
^^^ And it is amazing how good it can feel too.

Could it possibly all be as large as life and even more amazing than your Wonderful Post !

@PenguinWithNapalm Thank You so Much for Sharing that too. Aw. Very Nice. 🌻
Awe thank you. I appreciate you saying that. I feel so blessed to have found the groups. I couldn’t recommend them enough. I’ve never really vibed with AA and NA. SMART recovery I feel is a little better. The way I see it though is that my addiction issues largely stem from trauma and other mental heath issues. I’ve found that treating the cause has been much more helpful than the symptoms (drug abuse) also in the groups I go to drug use isn’t shamed or discouraged beyond just that they care about your health but they never oust sobriety on you. Me being the hard headed person I can be thrives a lot more in that environment since I’m not being told I need to change
 
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It’s surprising how strong bonds can be on a site like this sometimes.
It really is. I used to be really active on Reddit and made some really great long term friends and even a couple I’ve met in real life. I actually met an extremely attractive girl irl from there who was also a heroin addict. That is a whole story of its own. Also met another guy that was in my area that we only met twice irl. lol the very first time we met he brought some of the best k I have ever had and I went into a full blown comatose k hole right in front of him within 15 minutes of meeting him irl. He could have robbed me or god knows what else but ended up being a long time homie. Same for a couple others that I never met in person but felt just as close to them as if I had. I’m looking forward to meeting more friends like that on BL since I’m still relatively new. I feel like I’m well on my way though because I’ve found some pretty great people on here so far that I look forward to getting closer to.
 
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