Hello my fellow miscreants,
I hope everyone is enjoying President's Day. Call me crazy, but I just feel infused with the spirit of the holiday season. President's Day was always a massively important holiday in my household. Tradition would hold that my Father would get coked up, have a few rum n' cokes, start fighting with my Mother (Why do I never get to go Scuba Diving?!?!?!) and my brother and I would play Mario Kart for a few hours. The fondest of memories. My Father would inevitably end up yelling about Bill Clinton. As a very young child, I appreciated the trust my parents gave me. They trusted me enough for me to learn what "jizz" meant several years prior to what one would consider an acceptable age. What a truly lucky boy, I thought. I didn't know much at that time, but I knew, one day, I too would jizz all over someone's nice dress and through the grace of God, I've jizzed not only on dresses, but indeed sweaters, socks, human hair, hamster hair and on days when my aim was true, into my own mouth as a parlor trick.
Anyway, what is my life like these days? Well, I'm a fool and always will be. I was put on this earth to make an ass out of myself for the humor and derision of my peers; perhaps to provide them with feelings of safety, security or esteem. "At least I'm not as fucking stupid as that guy, maybe there is hope... you know what, I'm getting off this bridge and going home to my family". Just when you think you have no purpose guys, you're totally useless, don't ever forget, your failure and misery can be catalysts for the happiness and success of others, so don't give up y'all. As the venerable Pamela Bondi would say "The Dow is at 50,000!" Does this mean anything to me? No, however, I'm sure it must be a very good thing.
I was due to start working a new job in Vermont. I fucking hate Vermont, okay? It is ridiculously expensive. It has no reason to be so expensive. It is like my home state, Massachusetts, except without any of the good stuff. Bad schools, high taxes, insane rent and a government that has completely fucked up the economy of the state, irreparably. The quality of life has reached a point of becoming completely untenable. I had just left a relationship that, as time passes, I realize just how totally fucked up it was. The state is full of hypocrites. They want all of the black and brown people to have everything and anything they need, just as long as they don't have to look at them or see them. They want the addicts to be taken care of, but they don't want to have to step over them on the street as it is just unsightly. People who refuse to eat animals, but can watch football players be made into mental retards for sport, running headlong into each other, rendering their brains into applesauce by the time they retire. People who say they they don't need luxury, but spend hundreds of dollars on useless shit, like a 400-500 dollar mask with lights on it that is supposed to make you younger. Then they argue about money. Hypocrites.
I got a job offer in my email. Las Vegas, a chance to be a caseworker and outreach worker for a Homeless Services non-profit. They offered me a 3,000 sign-on bonus if I would relocate and work for them. I though, "this is crazy". There was no way I could make a move like that. Then, I thought, it would be crazy to stay here. What does this state do for me, nothing. I contribute to the tax base and the liberal government spends the money as if they have not a single brain cells nor any personal experience. We put up homeless people in hotels, indefinitely, requiring nothing from them in return, no work, no volunteering, no programming. Look, you know I'm as liberal as they come, but there is nothing for free in this world. Help is just that, help. We, as human beings are required to help our fellows when able. We cannot, however, support people indefinitely with literally zero positive outlook. It doesn't matter how big your heart is, the reality is, nothing is free and help is meant to help people onto their feet. I don't care if that takes years, even fucking decades, as long as you are working toward a tangible goal.
A studio apartment in Burlington is ~1500 at least. In the Vegas metro, I'm able to get a shitty studio for 750. I am getting a one bedroom near the strip for 1200 with everything included once I get my money together. I'm working for this organization. I've been and done my paperwork, I have my identification and everything is a go. I've now worked two shifts and I must say, I'm really liking it out here thus far. It is too early to tell if I really will be comfortable here, but I was not comfortable in Vermont. I hated it. It had nothing for me and it was slowly suffocating me under the weight of the cost of living.
I had two weeks to get out here to start the job. I didn't have any money saved. I made the decision that I would use the money I had to buy a bus ticket halfway and then continue hitchhiking from Chicago the rest of the way. I have hitched before and I know the rules. Make sure your hair is combed, you don't smell bad, tell them the type of work that I do and always keep a smile on your face. Do not ever talk about politics. DO NOT EVER TALK ABOUT POLITICS.
So I spent the last of the money I had on the ticket out to Chicago. I've hitched before and I know making it to Chicago is the best way to stage the rest of your trip out west. The fact that it is such a big city and a major transportation hub makes it easy. Even if this was not the most direct route to Vegas, I gambled that it would be easier ultimately. I collected a week of Methadone from my clinic, got as many scripts as I could cobble together and got on that fucking bus. The feeling of leaving Vermont was euphoric. I had never liked it. I had never intended on staying longer than a year or two. I had always known I'd go back to Boston. I didn't. I was never able to get past living paycheck to paycheck. The breakup I went through caused me to blow through all of the money that I had trying to live. I was leaving all of that behind. All of the bullshit, all of the confusion, all of the false-love that I had felt. I knew, I was taking a risk, but I had to. I was done sitting and waiting for life to happen.
I made it to Chicago. I left with 50 dollars in my pocket which I intended to use for food. I hitched with a family who was traveling to the Grand Canyon. This was a blessing. They actually fed me, talked to me and were just generally very friendly. We were in the car together for about 10 hours. They had 3 kids with them. I paid my way by keeping the little ones occupied and smiling. It was the husband, wife, then me and the three kids in the back. I was telling them stories and jokes and just trying to make them laugh. I feel like the parents were ultimately thankful for my babysitting the kids. I've worked with kids my whole life and I frankly enjoy little kids (in appropriate doses), so this encounter was nice. I ended up breaking away from them in North Texas, right around Lubbock. They didn't ask for any money, though I offered. They even gave me a sandwich and a coke to take with me. Don't ever forget there are nice people out there in this cruel world guys.
North Texas to Vegas was undoubtedly the shittiest part of this journey. I ended up spending 24 hours at a truck stop in Tucumcari, NM waiting for a ride to take me further west. This town is NOTHING. It is about 2,000 people and it was the hub city for everywhere within 2-3 hours. I rode with one trucker. We ended up at odds as he was listening to the radio and we ended up talking about ICE and I couldn't keep my mouth shut. Most truckers are quite conservative. I knew this, but chose to open my mouth. This should have been a straight shot, but I got kicked out halfway to Gallup. Luckily, I immediately found another trucker who got me to Gallup. I again ended up stranded in Gallup for 48 hours. I was starting to think I was never gonna fucking get out. Now, by the time I got to Gallup, I had been on the road for a total of 8 days, so I was out of Methadone. I was starting to get sick and there weren't a lot of places to stay there.
I ended up going to this hotel on Route 66 in Gallup. I did my best to charm the pretty girl who was working the front desk. I believe a more handsome, more charming man could have gotten a room. However, I'm just as God made me; this is a problem. I explained that I was on my way to a job as a social worker in Las Vegas. I spoke a little bit about my political views (everyone working there was either Indian or Latin) and they looked upon me with some pity. They allowed me to sleep in the lobby of their hotel and I was so thankful. They allowed me to use the shower too which was just amazing for me, as I was just dirty as fuck by this point.
I eventually made it out of Gallup. I was able to get a ride to Boulder City. Mind you, I literally had nothing at this point. I literally had zero money. I was entirely reliant upon the kindness of others to get me places. I didn't even have money to take the bus from Boulder City to Vegas. It seemed I was going to then be stuck in Boulder City, with Vegas tantalizingly close. I explained my situation to the people working at a convenience store and the middle-aged lady working the counter said she would give me a ride wherever I needed to go as soon as her shift was over. Man, I felt like I was just getting lucky my whole way through here. The kindness shown to me by these strangers was great in a two-fold way. First, I needed the practical help they provided, but I was also pleased to see they were so willing to offer kindness to this complete stranger. The whole thing, my trip, warmed my heart in this way.
I got to Vegas a couple of days ago. The organization I'm working for operates the largest low-barrier shelter in the vicinity. They have sleeping areas for staff. Part of why I came out here with nothing was because I knew I could rely on them for shelter until I had the bread I needed to get my own place. I have my eye on a one-bedroom close to the strip and close to my work. That is the dream at this point.
I've only worked a couple of shifts, but every indication is that this is the right place for me. My job is to be a support for the homeless community, be it emotional, physical or helping them to connect with the services they need. Also, I will be in charge of a 3 person team and we will be doing outreach near the Strip. This outreach is just a mobile application of the same work I would be doing within the shelter physically. I have always wanted to do street outreach. Like I said, it's too early to judge, but I am getting signals from the universe that this is the right decision. It was absolutely crazy to move somewhere with nothing, but something in my gut told me it was the right thing. I would get the sign-on bonus after a few months and this would enable me to truly start over.
I am currently staying at my work, working full-time and generally, kicking ass all things considered. This was an insane risk. I could've ended up in some seriously sticky situations considering my drug dependencies. I trusted in God and hoped that I would b seen through and I was. I'm currently dead-ass broke until I get my first paycheck. The upside to all of this is that they pay weekly, so I will be starting to generate income in just a little while. I've got enough scripts to get me through until I have money to pay an urgent care. I am only able to get Methadone by going to the ER at this point because I can't yet pay the clinic here and I'm not insured. I'm kind of just doing that every other day, however it really sucks because it's always 4-5 hours at the ER and that means a large part of my free time is consumed by getting Methadone. This was something I knew would happen. I have to wait until I've got some income, then I can start checking these things off.
I made a crazy decision, but everything has worked out thus far, albeit with a small dose of pain. I can't truly complain. I'm here and I have a job. I have to endure life as a bum for a week, then I can start rebuilding. I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read my little misery-porn-blog. I have every hope of turning this into an optimism-porn-blog. This cosmic, eternal fool, perhaps he can make us all laugh at his stupidity without him having to live in a cold, miserable world of pain? Perhaps I can just be a lovable rogue. I can have friends, optimism and a decent life, even if King John eventually hangs my ass, people will remember me fondly. Until next time guys.
Keif' Richards
I hope everyone is enjoying President's Day. Call me crazy, but I just feel infused with the spirit of the holiday season. President's Day was always a massively important holiday in my household. Tradition would hold that my Father would get coked up, have a few rum n' cokes, start fighting with my Mother (Why do I never get to go Scuba Diving?!?!?!) and my brother and I would play Mario Kart for a few hours. The fondest of memories. My Father would inevitably end up yelling about Bill Clinton. As a very young child, I appreciated the trust my parents gave me. They trusted me enough for me to learn what "jizz" meant several years prior to what one would consider an acceptable age. What a truly lucky boy, I thought. I didn't know much at that time, but I knew, one day, I too would jizz all over someone's nice dress and through the grace of God, I've jizzed not only on dresses, but indeed sweaters, socks, human hair, hamster hair and on days when my aim was true, into my own mouth as a parlor trick.
Anyway, what is my life like these days? Well, I'm a fool and always will be. I was put on this earth to make an ass out of myself for the humor and derision of my peers; perhaps to provide them with feelings of safety, security or esteem. "At least I'm not as fucking stupid as that guy, maybe there is hope... you know what, I'm getting off this bridge and going home to my family". Just when you think you have no purpose guys, you're totally useless, don't ever forget, your failure and misery can be catalysts for the happiness and success of others, so don't give up y'all. As the venerable Pamela Bondi would say "The Dow is at 50,000!" Does this mean anything to me? No, however, I'm sure it must be a very good thing.
I was due to start working a new job in Vermont. I fucking hate Vermont, okay? It is ridiculously expensive. It has no reason to be so expensive. It is like my home state, Massachusetts, except without any of the good stuff. Bad schools, high taxes, insane rent and a government that has completely fucked up the economy of the state, irreparably. The quality of life has reached a point of becoming completely untenable. I had just left a relationship that, as time passes, I realize just how totally fucked up it was. The state is full of hypocrites. They want all of the black and brown people to have everything and anything they need, just as long as they don't have to look at them or see them. They want the addicts to be taken care of, but they don't want to have to step over them on the street as it is just unsightly. People who refuse to eat animals, but can watch football players be made into mental retards for sport, running headlong into each other, rendering their brains into applesauce by the time they retire. People who say they they don't need luxury, but spend hundreds of dollars on useless shit, like a 400-500 dollar mask with lights on it that is supposed to make you younger. Then they argue about money. Hypocrites.
I got a job offer in my email. Las Vegas, a chance to be a caseworker and outreach worker for a Homeless Services non-profit. They offered me a 3,000 sign-on bonus if I would relocate and work for them. I though, "this is crazy". There was no way I could make a move like that. Then, I thought, it would be crazy to stay here. What does this state do for me, nothing. I contribute to the tax base and the liberal government spends the money as if they have not a single brain cells nor any personal experience. We put up homeless people in hotels, indefinitely, requiring nothing from them in return, no work, no volunteering, no programming. Look, you know I'm as liberal as they come, but there is nothing for free in this world. Help is just that, help. We, as human beings are required to help our fellows when able. We cannot, however, support people indefinitely with literally zero positive outlook. It doesn't matter how big your heart is, the reality is, nothing is free and help is meant to help people onto their feet. I don't care if that takes years, even fucking decades, as long as you are working toward a tangible goal.
A studio apartment in Burlington is ~1500 at least. In the Vegas metro, I'm able to get a shitty studio for 750. I am getting a one bedroom near the strip for 1200 with everything included once I get my money together. I'm working for this organization. I've been and done my paperwork, I have my identification and everything is a go. I've now worked two shifts and I must say, I'm really liking it out here thus far. It is too early to tell if I really will be comfortable here, but I was not comfortable in Vermont. I hated it. It had nothing for me and it was slowly suffocating me under the weight of the cost of living.
I had two weeks to get out here to start the job. I didn't have any money saved. I made the decision that I would use the money I had to buy a bus ticket halfway and then continue hitchhiking from Chicago the rest of the way. I have hitched before and I know the rules. Make sure your hair is combed, you don't smell bad, tell them the type of work that I do and always keep a smile on your face. Do not ever talk about politics. DO NOT EVER TALK ABOUT POLITICS.
So I spent the last of the money I had on the ticket out to Chicago. I've hitched before and I know making it to Chicago is the best way to stage the rest of your trip out west. The fact that it is such a big city and a major transportation hub makes it easy. Even if this was not the most direct route to Vegas, I gambled that it would be easier ultimately. I collected a week of Methadone from my clinic, got as many scripts as I could cobble together and got on that fucking bus. The feeling of leaving Vermont was euphoric. I had never liked it. I had never intended on staying longer than a year or two. I had always known I'd go back to Boston. I didn't. I was never able to get past living paycheck to paycheck. The breakup I went through caused me to blow through all of the money that I had trying to live. I was leaving all of that behind. All of the bullshit, all of the confusion, all of the false-love that I had felt. I knew, I was taking a risk, but I had to. I was done sitting and waiting for life to happen.
I made it to Chicago. I left with 50 dollars in my pocket which I intended to use for food. I hitched with a family who was traveling to the Grand Canyon. This was a blessing. They actually fed me, talked to me and were just generally very friendly. We were in the car together for about 10 hours. They had 3 kids with them. I paid my way by keeping the little ones occupied and smiling. It was the husband, wife, then me and the three kids in the back. I was telling them stories and jokes and just trying to make them laugh. I feel like the parents were ultimately thankful for my babysitting the kids. I've worked with kids my whole life and I frankly enjoy little kids (in appropriate doses), so this encounter was nice. I ended up breaking away from them in North Texas, right around Lubbock. They didn't ask for any money, though I offered. They even gave me a sandwich and a coke to take with me. Don't ever forget there are nice people out there in this cruel world guys.
North Texas to Vegas was undoubtedly the shittiest part of this journey. I ended up spending 24 hours at a truck stop in Tucumcari, NM waiting for a ride to take me further west. This town is NOTHING. It is about 2,000 people and it was the hub city for everywhere within 2-3 hours. I rode with one trucker. We ended up at odds as he was listening to the radio and we ended up talking about ICE and I couldn't keep my mouth shut. Most truckers are quite conservative. I knew this, but chose to open my mouth. This should have been a straight shot, but I got kicked out halfway to Gallup. Luckily, I immediately found another trucker who got me to Gallup. I again ended up stranded in Gallup for 48 hours. I was starting to think I was never gonna fucking get out. Now, by the time I got to Gallup, I had been on the road for a total of 8 days, so I was out of Methadone. I was starting to get sick and there weren't a lot of places to stay there.
I ended up going to this hotel on Route 66 in Gallup. I did my best to charm the pretty girl who was working the front desk. I believe a more handsome, more charming man could have gotten a room. However, I'm just as God made me; this is a problem. I explained that I was on my way to a job as a social worker in Las Vegas. I spoke a little bit about my political views (everyone working there was either Indian or Latin) and they looked upon me with some pity. They allowed me to sleep in the lobby of their hotel and I was so thankful. They allowed me to use the shower too which was just amazing for me, as I was just dirty as fuck by this point.
I eventually made it out of Gallup. I was able to get a ride to Boulder City. Mind you, I literally had nothing at this point. I literally had zero money. I was entirely reliant upon the kindness of others to get me places. I didn't even have money to take the bus from Boulder City to Vegas. It seemed I was going to then be stuck in Boulder City, with Vegas tantalizingly close. I explained my situation to the people working at a convenience store and the middle-aged lady working the counter said she would give me a ride wherever I needed to go as soon as her shift was over. Man, I felt like I was just getting lucky my whole way through here. The kindness shown to me by these strangers was great in a two-fold way. First, I needed the practical help they provided, but I was also pleased to see they were so willing to offer kindness to this complete stranger. The whole thing, my trip, warmed my heart in this way.
I got to Vegas a couple of days ago. The organization I'm working for operates the largest low-barrier shelter in the vicinity. They have sleeping areas for staff. Part of why I came out here with nothing was because I knew I could rely on them for shelter until I had the bread I needed to get my own place. I have my eye on a one-bedroom close to the strip and close to my work. That is the dream at this point.
I've only worked a couple of shifts, but every indication is that this is the right place for me. My job is to be a support for the homeless community, be it emotional, physical or helping them to connect with the services they need. Also, I will be in charge of a 3 person team and we will be doing outreach near the Strip. This outreach is just a mobile application of the same work I would be doing within the shelter physically. I have always wanted to do street outreach. Like I said, it's too early to judge, but I am getting signals from the universe that this is the right decision. It was absolutely crazy to move somewhere with nothing, but something in my gut told me it was the right thing. I would get the sign-on bonus after a few months and this would enable me to truly start over.
I am currently staying at my work, working full-time and generally, kicking ass all things considered. This was an insane risk. I could've ended up in some seriously sticky situations considering my drug dependencies. I trusted in God and hoped that I would b seen through and I was. I'm currently dead-ass broke until I get my first paycheck. The upside to all of this is that they pay weekly, so I will be starting to generate income in just a little while. I've got enough scripts to get me through until I have money to pay an urgent care. I am only able to get Methadone by going to the ER at this point because I can't yet pay the clinic here and I'm not insured. I'm kind of just doing that every other day, however it really sucks because it's always 4-5 hours at the ER and that means a large part of my free time is consumed by getting Methadone. This was something I knew would happen. I have to wait until I've got some income, then I can start checking these things off.
I made a crazy decision, but everything has worked out thus far, albeit with a small dose of pain. I can't truly complain. I'm here and I have a job. I have to endure life as a bum for a week, then I can start rebuilding. I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read my little misery-porn-blog. I have every hope of turning this into an optimism-porn-blog. This cosmic, eternal fool, perhaps he can make us all laugh at his stupidity without him having to live in a cold, miserable world of pain? Perhaps I can just be a lovable rogue. I can have friends, optimism and a decent life, even if King John eventually hangs my ass, people will remember me fondly. Until next time guys.
Keif' Richards
