Wish I never did Meth. Turned me into a very sick minded degenerate scumbag loser

[Iblis]

Hey guys I’ll be brief.

I tried meth once in 2015 at a house party with some big time drug dealer back in the day in my town, obviously I won’t disclose where but he’s doing serious time in prison now for being the “Walter White” of my town.

He said this shit will keep you up for days and it did , a couple lines of this stuff got me wired for 5 days and it was awesome until psychosis kicked in.

Psychosis was so bad I never touched the stuff for 8 years until I started using coke to fap to porn until I thought it was a good idea to upgrade cause I heard Meth and Porn was the best experience in Life better than everything in this planet.

Boy were they right and I hate myself for doing

My use escalated from every few months to a month , to every two weeks , to every week.

It doesn’t help that I live in Las Vegas now a days(Not the town the drug dude got arrested) and i took a month vacation in Cali with my parents as of the time writing this post. Doesn’t matter you’ll find this drug anywhere you live

You will never be able to quit for good and if you do you’ll have cravings for the rest of your life.

I fucking love it and when it’s over after a three day binge I sit their in disgust with the 5,000 pictures and wallpapers of porn, dicks, fucking, bukkake, and pissing and all sorts of degenerate stuff on my TV and PC. It’s literal hell on earth when it’s over , the drug has swindled you in the end. I’m sick and tired of this shit, it’s so good that you become miserable because you will never feel that good again till the day you die if you stay sober.

I was venerating a literal shrine of Porn and I was so scared of dying in such a state that i quit. It’s been almost a month and the cravings are bad.

Dude fuck this drug. Don’t ever do it. You will never get over it and it will bug you everyday.

Any advice guys? I’m serious of putting it down for good and don’t want to relapse, the mind tricks this drug plays is nuts and puts alcohol and cigs to shame.

 

[lostsoulowen]

Meth is bad, because it's very addictive and illegal, if you like this high so much, you should switch to Vyvanse it make you focus, and i think it less likely to make you less likely to go psychotic then pure meth.

 

[Iblis]

Meth is bad, because it's very addictive and illegal, if you like this high so much, you should switch to Vyvanse it make you focus, and i think it less likely to make you less likely to go psychotic then pure meth.

Meth is bad not because some law says it’s illegal, it’s bad because it damages your reward circuits beyond repair.

Before Meth your happiness is at 1-10 on the scale but once you take a gigantic fat line and go on a porn/masturbation binge it goes to 1-1000.

So you will forever walk around at 10/1000 barely registering on the scale till the day you die knowing Paradise is one line away.

The problem is I know it’s the source of all my problems but the brain is trying to override my free will by trying to justify, rationalize, and pressure me into using.

I’m close to 4 weeks sober so hopefully I can keep pressing forward, praying 5 times a day as a devout Muslim has helped tremendously but the cravings are still there.

 

[M!$TER-ED]

Never tried meth, from your description it’s not anything I want to do. I can’t imagine what you are going through but I hope you get past the cravings so your mind and body can heal. Be strong, don’t give up, it will be worth the struggle in the long run.

 

[Iblis]

Never tried meth, from your description it’s not anything I want to do. I can’t imagine what you are going through but I hope you get past the cravings so your mind and body can heal. Be strong, don’t give up, it will be worth the struggle in the long run.

I fucked around and found out exactly why hard drugs are called hard drugs.

Every single recreational drug is bad and sobriety is the best way of life.

Thank you for your input and I wish you well along your journey.

 

[washingtonbound]

Hey guys I’ll be brief.

I tried meth once in 2015 at a house party with some big time drug dealer back in the day in my town, obviously I won’t disclose where but he’s doing serious time in prison now for being the “Walter White” of my town.

He said this shit will keep you up for days and it did , a couple lines of this stuff got me wired for 5 days and it was awesome until psychosis kicked in.

Psychosis was so bad I never touched the stuff for 8 years until I started using coke to fap to porn until I thought it was a good idea to upgrade cause I heard Meth and Porn was the best experience in Life better than everything in this planet.

Boy were they right and I hate myself for doing

My use escalated from every few months to a month , to every two weeks , to every week.

It doesn’t help that I live in Las Vegas now a days(Not the town the drug dude got arrested) and i took a month vacation in Cali with my parents as of the time writing this post. Doesn’t matter you’ll find this drug anywhere you live

You will never be able to quit for good and if you do you’ll have cravings for the rest of your life.

I fucking love it and when it’s over after a three day binge I sit their in disgust with the 5,000 pictures and wallpapers of porn, dicks, fucking, bukkake, and pissing and all sorts of degenerate stuff on my TV and PC. It’s literal hell on earth when it’s over , the drug has swindled you in the end. I’m sick and tired of this shit, it’s so good that you become miserable because you will never feel that good again till the day you die if you stay sober.

I was venerating a literal shrine of Porn and I was so scared of dying in such a state that i quit. It’s been almost a month and the cravings are bad.

Dude fuck this drug. Don’t ever do it. You will never get over it and it will bug you everyday.

Any advice guys? I’m serious of putting it down for good and don’t want to relapse, the mind tricks this drug plays is nuts and puts alcohol and cigs to shame.

I had an odd reaction to meth where I wasn’t particularly interested in sex like many others are, but rather started becoming interested in philosophy again and writing. I know that might sound ridiculous but that’s what happened. Only did it once, felt more creative and wanted to talk about ideas.

I’m noticing as I get older, any sort of psychoactive drug I use in some way as a crutch to improve mood has a tendency to really bite me in the ass. Weed is terrible for me now when it used to seem like a benign thing. Kratom created issues as well, and I’m currently addicted to nicotine. These are not “hard” drugs but they do mess with you psychologically.

 

[Iblis]

I had an odd reaction to meth where I wasn’t particularly interested in sex like many others are, but rather started becoming interested in philosophy again and writing. I know that might sound ridiculous but that’s what happened. Only did it once, felt more creative and wanted to talk about ideas.

I’m noticing as I get older, any sort of psychoactive drug I use in some way as a crutch to improve mood has a tendency to really bite me in the ass. Weed is terrible for me now when it used to seem like a benign thing. Kratom created issues as well, and I’m currently addicted to nicotine. These are not “hard” drugs but they do mess with you psychologically.

During a few comedowns it felt existential and made me ponder the meaning of life and the strangeness of our existence.

It was the most clarity I had ever experienced but then again it could be the drugs fucking my head up.

 

[mauve]

The fact that you’ve not used for four weeks is a huge milestone. You’re taking control of your life, your mind, and your body, and that’s something to remind yourself when you look in the mirror your taking back control. The longer you stay away from this drug, the more your brain and body heal. You’ve chosen a really healthy focus in prayer it's incredibly powerful for your mind and spirit. Additionally tweaking your diet if needed and being active both physically and mentally will be a huge boost.

It can also help to remove reminders (blue movies, photos anything you did whilst on it) also remove any access to obtaining it again. Basically anything that could trigger a relapse, and if you’re open to it, attending a support meeting or online support groups can strengthen your recovery.

 

[Iblis]

The fact that you’ve not used for four weeks is a huge milestone. You’re taking control of your life, your mind, and your body, and that’s something to remind yourself when you look in the mirror your taking back control. The longer you stay away from this drug, the more your brain and body heal. You’ve chosen a really healthy focus in prayer it's incredibly powerful for your mind and spirit. Additionally tweaking your diet if needed and being active both physically and mentally will be a huge boost.

It can also help to remove reminders (blue movies, photos anything you did whilst on it) also remove any access to obtaining it again. Basically anything that could trigger a relapse, and if you’re open to it, attending a support meeting or online support groups can strengthen your recovery.

I appreciate the kind words.

Unfortunately you can get this piece of shit drug anywhere and living in one of the biggest drug headquarters in the world(Las Vegas) it’s a challenge. You just know anywhere you go wherever it looks run down and there’s bums there’s meth. It’s in every single city not just Vegas.

But yeah if you come to Vegas take a look at East Las Vegas , Meth has literally ravaged the whole place into looking like a war zone in Gaza with collapsed buildings, zombies tweaking on the streets or someone ODing on heroine lying on the street covered in flies.

It’s crazy this is a worldwide popular tourist destination.

 

[Shady's Fox]

But the point though, that you might skip over, is self-harm, and im not talkin, fuckin hood shit, where you do that and this, but your body as a whole. So basically, by doing even washed meth with speed, or pure meth, you overload your dopamine, and therefore the masturbation act feels like the flame of Hades, celestial man, fuckin celestial but then.. here's the tricky part, you could irritate your penis, yo.

 

[streaM Freak]

I fucked around and found out exactly why hard drugs are called hard drugs.

Every single recreational drug is bad and sobriety is the best way of life.

Thank you for your input and I wish you well along your journey.

During a few comedowns it felt existential and made me ponder the meaning of life and the strangeness of our existence.

It was the most clarity I had ever experienced but then again it could be the drugs fucking my head up.

How long sober are you?

 

[Iblis]

How long sober are you?

About a month

 

[streaM Freak]

About a month

Awesome - really nice!

Well you have the right attitude just remember to check yourself to make sure you're staying honest with your intentions. If you start to crave, this is a good thread for you to check back on.

And the foundation should be social supports so if you don't have them then double check in here.

 

[BadBoy377]

About a month

That's awesome, well done.

You should probably start feeling the benefits of it from now on.

In first post you said you were thinking of quitting for good. So you probably need to quit for good.

Just stick with what you are doing. Keep doing meth like that and you'll just gradually warp and destroy your personality and mental health.

Good luck,

BB

 

[BK38]

here's the tricky part, you could irritate your penis, yo.

You crack me up shady. But, I have to be fair; an irritated penis is very much a real possibility with meth... esp if you're doing marathon porn/sex sessions.

Bonus points if you beat up your penis and then in a paranoid state, try and figure out why your penis is looking so abused (all while somehow discounting the fact that you've been masturbating/fucking for like 6 hours straight, sometimes more).

 

[Iblis]

Awesome - really nice!

Well you have the right attitude just remember to check yourself to make sure you're staying honest with your intentions. If you start to crave, this is a good thread for you to check back on.

And the foundation should be social supports so if you don't have them then double check in here.

That's awesome, well done.

You should probably start feeling the benefits of it from now on.

In first post you said you were thinking of quitting for good. So you probably need to quit for good.

Just stick with what you are doing. Keep doing meth like that and you'll just gradually warp and destroy your personality and mental health.

Good luck,

BB

Thank you guys I really appreciate it.

I went on 3 day binges once a month the first year and then it became almost once a week to every two weeks toward the end of the second year.

I only noticed I was an asshole a majority of the time, thoughts all jumbled up(started to forget I was scheduled for work sometimes and ended up sleeping in) and started racking up points from my two jobs from calling in all the time.

Other than that can you care to elaborate how this would’ve fucked my personality and mental health? For educations sake

 

[notsmokeymcpot42088]

Your dose would have got higher to reach the same 1,000 --- eventually your ROA would probably change to smoking than the needle --- vein damage, circulatory problems. Teeth of course (Or so I am led to believe with good evidence).

The lack of sleep would wear your body and personality down until eventually you were always in a sleep deprived uber paranoid search for more money. (Which becomes contradictory, the paranoia and non legal shit to make money or just the grabbin of meth)

Soon you would need meth just to feel the way you do currently. (Not great but not horrible) and that 1,000 would fade to a memory and a "Damn drug got me" type resentment sure to break through in bursts of anger.

Most likely you would lose all friends and family as most people can't stand to be around a sleep deprived paranoid tempermental fiend (and that is if you DONT STEAL from them)
If anyone did stick around you would have to live with knowing you are a liability...

It would keep getting worse from there you know the stories --- jail, prison, etc....

There is a saying around here when people go to give you there life story with some caveat of about how they have changed --- "Yea yea yea meth and dicks" and everyone just laughs because it is accurate a large % of the time....

 

[BadBoy377]

Your dose would have got higher to reach the same 1,000 --- eventually your ROA would probably change to smoking than the needle --- vein damage, circulatory problems. Teeth of course (Or so I am led to believe with good evidence).

The lack of sleep would wear your body and personality down until eventually you were always in a sleep deprived uber paranoid search for more money. (Which becomes contradictory, the paranoia and non legal shit to make money or just the grabbin of meth)

Soon you would need meth just to feel the way you do currently. (Not great but not horrible) and that 1,000 would fade to a memory and a "Damn drug got me" type resentment sure to break through in bursts of anger.

Most likely you would lose all friends and family as most people can't stand to be around a sleep deprived paranoid tempermental fiend (and that is if you DONT STEAL from them)
If anyone did stick around you would have to live with knowing you are a liability...

It would keep getting worse from there you know the stories --- jail, prison, etc....

There is a saying around here when people go to give you there life story with some caveat of about how they have changed --- "Yea yea yea meth and dicks" and everyone just laughs because it is accurate a large % of the time....

Yeah pretty much what he said.

Your behaviour will change and you may well end up responding to a situation differently than you would. Especially an unexpected situation.

Combinations of paranoia and psychosis and you risk become a danger to yourself and others. When your sanity starts slipping and you can't make it right it's a very unpleasant experience.

You're doing great. Just keep off it, look after yourself and you'll be fine I'm sure.

 

[Iblis]

Your dose would have got higher to reach the same 1,000 --- eventually your ROA would probably change to smoking than the needle --- vein damage, circulatory problems. Teeth of course (Or so I am led to believe with good evidence).

The lack of sleep would wear your body and personality down until eventually you were always in a sleep deprived uber paranoid search for more money. (Which becomes contradictory, the paranoia and non legal shit to make money or just the grabbin of meth)

Soon you would need meth just to feel the way you do currently. (Not great but not horrible) and that 1,000 would fade to a memory and a "Damn drug got me" type resentment sure to break through in bursts of anger.

Most likely you would lose all friends and family as most people can't stand to be around a sleep deprived paranoid tempermental fiend (and that is if you DONT STEAL from them)
If anyone did stick around you would have to live with knowing you are a liability...

It would keep getting worse from there you know the stories --- jail, prison, etc....

There is a saying around here when people go to give you there life story with some caveat of about how they have changed --- "Yea yea yea meth and dicks" and everyone just laughs because it is accurate a large % of the time....

Thanks for the input.

This drug try’s desperately to dupe you into thinking it won’t get that far but this is far from the truth.

I noticed the horrible comedowns disappeared and slowly fade into being sober like I normally am but with a depression that sets in 2-3 days after and lasts a LONG TIME. I’ve sober one month from meth and alcohol,cigs, other drugs for over a year .

I’m still depressed but 5 daily prayers with history books and 6 days of lifting seem to keep me occupied through the worst of it.

I think this actually works because I was relapsing weekly before getting disciplined . No wonder the Taliban rehabilitated all of their druggies off the street in Kabul and put them in a faith based program with working out and public service and shelter provided for them. (No discussion on your negative views of the Taliban and Afghanistan please)

The previous Afghan government left them out on the streets for dead.

The USA doses them up with Methadone and tosses them back out on the streets.

 

[notsmokeymcpot42088]

You are doing awesome!! FR you are over the worst of it physically -- couple months of light depression (PAWS!) and you will probably be good again.

I have been to 1,000 with opiates and benzos and returned to --- well almost baseline.. I think I went way further than you and both of those cause physical dependence....You should be alright!

I once had a methhead ask me -- "Why are you okay with most hard drug users but not methheads - kinda fucked up" -- Let me answer you directly, you are a criminal who doesn't sleep and can't stop talking. That is a fcking liability of a person.