the_ketaman
Bluelighter
After any stimulants, benzos and heroin are a very important asset. Especially after meth, and without them my mental health and wellbeing can become dangerously jeapordised and I become extremely sad, depressed, anxious and often suicidal.
The thing is too often I do the meth and ignore the need for downers until its too late or I have no money and I suffer greatly as a consequence. And in reality I just shouldnt be doing the meth in the beginning. Its a really stupid impulse and could very easily result in me committing suicide impulsively but I still do it.
Im currently in one of these predicaments. Im hopefully obtaining some benzos but if I dont im fucked and might have to sign into the psychiatric ward at my local hospital as my problems unrelated to drugs are becoming hugely intolerable and need treatment by medical proffessionals.
If we mean what do I do after I use. Well If I shoot heroin, then I shoot heroin and spend the day with my top half of my body folded over, probably appearing to be trying to kiss the ground(i.e nodding my face off) and feeling about as peaceful and "nice" as im capable of feeling at this time in my life. If I use meth then I shoot, then spend the time writing, cleaning or repeatedly having sex either alone or in company. Then after thinking of how stupid I am for willingly putting myself in a position where I feel so incredibly bad and that the only remedy is downers, and without the downers I inevitably end up thinking about how to commit suicide and trying to push past the fear of doing it. Now that sounds fucking insane and I should be planning to never use meth again but im more than certain I will use plenty more of it.
The thing is too often I do the meth and ignore the need for downers until its too late or I have no money and I suffer greatly as a consequence. And in reality I just shouldnt be doing the meth in the beginning. Its a really stupid impulse and could very easily result in me committing suicide impulsively but I still do it.
Im currently in one of these predicaments. Im hopefully obtaining some benzos but if I dont im fucked and might have to sign into the psychiatric ward at my local hospital as my problems unrelated to drugs are becoming hugely intolerable and need treatment by medical proffessionals.
If we mean what do I do after I use. Well If I shoot heroin, then I shoot heroin and spend the day with my top half of my body folded over, probably appearing to be trying to kiss the ground(i.e nodding my face off) and feeling about as peaceful and "nice" as im capable of feeling at this time in my life. If I use meth then I shoot, then spend the time writing, cleaning or repeatedly having sex either alone or in company. Then after thinking of how stupid I am for willingly putting myself in a position where I feel so incredibly bad and that the only remedy is downers, and without the downers I inevitably end up thinking about how to commit suicide and trying to push past the fear of doing it. Now that sounds fucking insane and I should be planning to never use meth again but im more than certain I will use plenty more of it.
