DrChivago
Bluelighter
"This for all my junkie mfrs...I ain't forget you n***as. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5-6-7-8...9-10"
The 10 Hospital Commandments:
(The 10 Things Drug Users SHOULD and SHOULDN'T Do For A Hospital Visit)
This may seem mundane to some, but for the average drug user your future quality of care and mental health may depend on it.
Medical facilities in the United States are ran like any other shitty corporate structure. They have quotas and objectives, because you are quite literally a number on a piece of paper. This paper is called, "My Chart" and is your entire medical history on file. Your juvenile medical records are sealed but after 18, anything is fair game. Every clinic you been to, medication you've been prescribed and all the wonderful things that your care providers think about you... It's all in there. You have the right of course, to download a version of this which is about 90% available. The remaining 10% are side notes or redacted information that you're not privy to- and have to request it. There's no guarantee that they'll agree to its release either. So, it's critical that when entering these systems you know exactly what's going to happen. Then navigate it properly and be prepared. More often than not, your fate has already been decided and you don't even know it.
Let's jump right into it...
1) If you happen to be on drugs and are experiencing whatever issues, it's important to ask yourself - "Am I just high? Is this a direct result of the drugs? If I were to subtract the drug from the equation, would the problem still exist?" This is imperative, and if the answer is "yes"...
2) Make sure that you have googled your symptoms, but be careful not to go down rabbit holes. Grab a pen and paper and make some columns with different "conditions" and the "symptoms" across. Put checkmarks to have a visual identification to help you decide what condition you may have and make an educated guess. Then Practice what you're going to say. Several times. Keep it factual and leave as much conjecture and speculation out of it as possible. Nothing wrong with intuitive leaps. But I highly advised against staring at a screen for hours to ultimately decide you have the bubonic plague 2.0. The best way to receive the proper care is the accurately describe your symptoms. (its also wise too learn common side-effects of psychoactive drugs, and what types of similarities they may have with your symptoms or condition.)
Note: Methamphetamine use and sleep deprivation often leads to delusions of grandure; including but not limited to parasites, bugs and insects crawling in/on/under skin (parasitosis aka formication). In addition is often the cause of edema and cellulitis in lower extremities as well due to sedentary periods of being seated without exercise. Stimulants in general can create a myriad of acute physical symptoms that mimic numerous conditions and mental ailments. It's generally best to lay off of them if you planning on going... Or best to make sure you've ate a nap and took a sandwich..lol
3) Google "Medical Terminology and Nomenclature". Leave it open in a separate window and revert back to it as needed to familiarize yourself with the proper jargon that you will hear in a hospital. For instance, itching would be "pruritus" and swelling is "edema." This works two-fold. To demonstrate you're not a complete fucking moron for one, and to understand the lingo you may overhear, or see written in the chart.. Once you're comfortable explaining yourself, your symptoms and your condition- you can prepare for your visit.
4) Dress for success unless physically unable. Consider this like a job interview. Shower, groom, nice digs and brush/comb/product in your hair. Wear nice shoes and brush your damn teeth. You may think this is silly, but I guarantee you it's not. There are specific areas in your chart designated for commentary about these things when describing your present condition. There are also identifiers for mental health, intelligence and cognizance. And not so many words... they completely judge and score every aspect of your being. So when you're all spruced up, it's time to enter the belly of the beast...
5) Go during reasonable business hours and never at lunchtime/dinner. Patients want to eat and staff wants to get the food out... and you're just in the damn way. I'd say safe hours would be 7:30am - 10:30am; 2:00pm -10pm. Of course you can go anytime if it's an emergency, but you'll get the best response and rapport from the staff this way. Going at 2 o'clock in the morning is not a good look and its inconsiderate. Plus you won't get residential staff... it is often floaters and subs these hours. NOW, When you get there..
6) Explain yourself clearly and use the words you studied. Don't adlib explanations. If asked a question, answer it to the best of your ability, and shut the fuck up. Speak when spoken to and K.I.S.S. Rambling makes you look suspect. The intake stafff are not your friends, in fact, they're quite the opposite,. and the first line of offense that you're going to encounter. They are trained to look for identifiers of "drug seekers" and "drug abusers" and are typically bratty med students or underpaid healthcare workers w attitudes, no sense of humor and an itch to snitch. Still, try to be patient with them. They're just doing their job... or at least they think so.
* T H I S P A R T C A N B E T R I C K Y . . . B e C a r e f u l . . .
7) When Asked about drug use, maintain composure... and a good poker face. Be indifferent, not offended. Instead of answering directly With "Yes or No", politely inquire the reasoning behind the question, and wait for an answer. Act a bit confused, and genuinely concerned as to what relevance it may have to the symptoms you described- or your potential treatment plan. A lot of the times there are absolutely NO valid reasons for them to ask those personal questions... other than to be able to use them against you. (This is why googling similarities of psychoactive drugs and symptoms is wise). You can refuse to answer altogether, but you will be met with resistance and possibly discharged by the doctor who will refuse treatment due to lack of compliance. If you do choose to allow them this information be very limited and careful what you do say because it will 100% end up in your file In fact, it will be one of the first things listed as your description as a patient and will be repeated over and over, so giving them as little ammunition as possible is a form of self preservation.
Note: medical staff is thoroughly trained to recognize multiple drug interactions and behaviors that are caused by them. This includes but not limited to: opioid withdrawals(this has a score sheet called COWS), amphetamine psychosis, hallucinations and general euphoria. Do your best to not exhibit said behaviors, and for the love of GOD- DO NOT GET FLAGGED AS A DRUG SEEKER. One of most obvious identifiers as patient who give a score of nine or 10 when I asked what their pain is. Believe me...if you're a solid 9-10 it will be evident without a spoken word.
8) Be fully prepared to experience a significant amount of pain if you are injured. You will NOT get opioids, muscle relaxants, or anything good for that matter. Asking gets you flagged. Now, acting hysterical or suffering panic attacks- May get you a low dose of Ativan, but possibly a psyche evaluation also which is 72-hour hold. As a rule of thumb, expect to ride pain out with Tylenol or ibuprofen. You can always bring your own dope. (this is coming from someone who had a a kidney removed from the front abdomen, waking up from anesthesia in tears and having to beg to only receive 1mg dilauadid).
9) Don't allow them to bully your diagnosis. Be direct with the doc and speak up otherwise their mission is to turn beds with you leaving improved. And you wont see doc but maybe once(daily)so use that time wisely. Doctors have a horrible habit of flat out not listening to the patients, and completely ignoring any speculation even if it's accurate.. The bedside manner has become significantly and progressively worse because they are often forced to see 50 to 60 patients a day. They go strictly by your chart. They seldom come closer than a couple feet away, and getting them to physically touch or feel something is pretty much out of the question.
10) Lastly, Exercise patience and try not to lose your cool. Know your rights to proper treatment. If you're not happy with the treatment plan or you feel the issue has not been properly addressed- you have to let them know. Misdiagnosis is common, especially at university type hospitals. Don't leave anything to chance, an don't leave early when you're being discharged it can cause a disruption in the billing cycle and it can be sent to you instead of your insurance. If you are required to stay overnight, it's wise to have a friend ready to call to pack you a bag.
"Follow these rules, you'll have mad health to rake up.
if not, 24 more visits... If you wake up.
Needle ports and IVs, watch your blood shake up.
Care taker - symptom faker, grass w snakes bruh."
The 10 Hospital Commandments:
(The 10 Things Drug Users SHOULD and SHOULDN'T Do For A Hospital Visit)
This may seem mundane to some, but for the average drug user your future quality of care and mental health may depend on it.
Medical facilities in the United States are ran like any other shitty corporate structure. They have quotas and objectives, because you are quite literally a number on a piece of paper. This paper is called, "My Chart" and is your entire medical history on file. Your juvenile medical records are sealed but after 18, anything is fair game. Every clinic you been to, medication you've been prescribed and all the wonderful things that your care providers think about you... It's all in there. You have the right of course, to download a version of this which is about 90% available. The remaining 10% are side notes or redacted information that you're not privy to- and have to request it. There's no guarantee that they'll agree to its release either. So, it's critical that when entering these systems you know exactly what's going to happen. Then navigate it properly and be prepared. More often than not, your fate has already been decided and you don't even know it.
Let's jump right into it...
1) If you happen to be on drugs and are experiencing whatever issues, it's important to ask yourself - "Am I just high? Is this a direct result of the drugs? If I were to subtract the drug from the equation, would the problem still exist?" This is imperative, and if the answer is "yes"...
2) Make sure that you have googled your symptoms, but be careful not to go down rabbit holes. Grab a pen and paper and make some columns with different "conditions" and the "symptoms" across. Put checkmarks to have a visual identification to help you decide what condition you may have and make an educated guess. Then Practice what you're going to say. Several times. Keep it factual and leave as much conjecture and speculation out of it as possible. Nothing wrong with intuitive leaps. But I highly advised against staring at a screen for hours to ultimately decide you have the bubonic plague 2.0. The best way to receive the proper care is the accurately describe your symptoms. (its also wise too learn common side-effects of psychoactive drugs, and what types of similarities they may have with your symptoms or condition.)
Note: Methamphetamine use and sleep deprivation often leads to delusions of grandure; including but not limited to parasites, bugs and insects crawling in/on/under skin (parasitosis aka formication). In addition is often the cause of edema and cellulitis in lower extremities as well due to sedentary periods of being seated without exercise. Stimulants in general can create a myriad of acute physical symptoms that mimic numerous conditions and mental ailments. It's generally best to lay off of them if you planning on going... Or best to make sure you've ate a nap and took a sandwich..lol
3) Google "Medical Terminology and Nomenclature". Leave it open in a separate window and revert back to it as needed to familiarize yourself with the proper jargon that you will hear in a hospital. For instance, itching would be "pruritus" and swelling is "edema." This works two-fold. To demonstrate you're not a complete fucking moron for one, and to understand the lingo you may overhear, or see written in the chart.. Once you're comfortable explaining yourself, your symptoms and your condition- you can prepare for your visit.
4) Dress for success unless physically unable. Consider this like a job interview. Shower, groom, nice digs and brush/comb/product in your hair. Wear nice shoes and brush your damn teeth. You may think this is silly, but I guarantee you it's not. There are specific areas in your chart designated for commentary about these things when describing your present condition. There are also identifiers for mental health, intelligence and cognizance. And not so many words... they completely judge and score every aspect of your being. So when you're all spruced up, it's time to enter the belly of the beast...
5) Go during reasonable business hours and never at lunchtime/dinner. Patients want to eat and staff wants to get the food out... and you're just in the damn way. I'd say safe hours would be 7:30am - 10:30am; 2:00pm -10pm. Of course you can go anytime if it's an emergency, but you'll get the best response and rapport from the staff this way. Going at 2 o'clock in the morning is not a good look and its inconsiderate. Plus you won't get residential staff... it is often floaters and subs these hours. NOW, When you get there..
6) Explain yourself clearly and use the words you studied. Don't adlib explanations. If asked a question, answer it to the best of your ability, and shut the fuck up. Speak when spoken to and K.I.S.S. Rambling makes you look suspect. The intake stafff are not your friends, in fact, they're quite the opposite,. and the first line of offense that you're going to encounter. They are trained to look for identifiers of "drug seekers" and "drug abusers" and are typically bratty med students or underpaid healthcare workers w attitudes, no sense of humor and an itch to snitch. Still, try to be patient with them. They're just doing their job... or at least they think so.
* T H I S P A R T C A N B E T R I C K Y . . . B e C a r e f u l . . .
7) When Asked about drug use, maintain composure... and a good poker face. Be indifferent, not offended. Instead of answering directly With "Yes or No", politely inquire the reasoning behind the question, and wait for an answer. Act a bit confused, and genuinely concerned as to what relevance it may have to the symptoms you described- or your potential treatment plan. A lot of the times there are absolutely NO valid reasons for them to ask those personal questions... other than to be able to use them against you. (This is why googling similarities of psychoactive drugs and symptoms is wise). You can refuse to answer altogether, but you will be met with resistance and possibly discharged by the doctor who will refuse treatment due to lack of compliance. If you do choose to allow them this information be very limited and careful what you do say because it will 100% end up in your file In fact, it will be one of the first things listed as your description as a patient and will be repeated over and over, so giving them as little ammunition as possible is a form of self preservation.
Note: medical staff is thoroughly trained to recognize multiple drug interactions and behaviors that are caused by them. This includes but not limited to: opioid withdrawals(this has a score sheet called COWS), amphetamine psychosis, hallucinations and general euphoria. Do your best to not exhibit said behaviors, and for the love of GOD- DO NOT GET FLAGGED AS A DRUG SEEKER. One of most obvious identifiers as patient who give a score of nine or 10 when I asked what their pain is. Believe me...if you're a solid 9-10 it will be evident without a spoken word.
8) Be fully prepared to experience a significant amount of pain if you are injured. You will NOT get opioids, muscle relaxants, or anything good for that matter. Asking gets you flagged. Now, acting hysterical or suffering panic attacks- May get you a low dose of Ativan, but possibly a psyche evaluation also which is 72-hour hold. As a rule of thumb, expect to ride pain out with Tylenol or ibuprofen. You can always bring your own dope. (this is coming from someone who had a a kidney removed from the front abdomen, waking up from anesthesia in tears and having to beg to only receive 1mg dilauadid).
9) Don't allow them to bully your diagnosis. Be direct with the doc and speak up otherwise their mission is to turn beds with you leaving improved. And you wont see doc but maybe once(daily)so use that time wisely. Doctors have a horrible habit of flat out not listening to the patients, and completely ignoring any speculation even if it's accurate.. The bedside manner has become significantly and progressively worse because they are often forced to see 50 to 60 patients a day. They go strictly by your chart. They seldom come closer than a couple feet away, and getting them to physically touch or feel something is pretty much out of the question.
10) Lastly, Exercise patience and try not to lose your cool. Know your rights to proper treatment. If you're not happy with the treatment plan or you feel the issue has not been properly addressed- you have to let them know. Misdiagnosis is common, especially at university type hospitals. Don't leave anything to chance, an don't leave early when you're being discharged it can cause a disruption in the billing cycle and it can be sent to you instead of your insurance. If you are required to stay overnight, it's wise to have a friend ready to call to pack you a bag.
"Follow these rules, you'll have mad health to rake up.
if not, 24 more visits... If you wake up.
Needle ports and IVs, watch your blood shake up.
Care taker - symptom faker, grass w snakes bruh."
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