Shit hit the fan today, I think I have kinda fucked myself here!!!!!
Was at the Methadone clinic / Drug Rehab building for a check up with the quack & my worker etc, they pissed me & it was dirty & my worker had a few words with me about it, she quoted me own fucking words back to me which had made an impression upon her for some reason but when I got my 1st script I told her as it is & being a little articulate for a Junkie I made an impression on her, well I am not one of these fucking baghead idiots who look like their parents had sex with a Potato shall we say.
I got a good Stoic roasting, the damn worker had even Google searched who Marcus Aurelius was after we had a chat a few weeks ago & she roasted me, for once my mouth didn't have a reply & I had no fucking ability to roast the woman with Logic & be a smart-arse with her.
I was given harsh TRUTH & had to sit there & swallow it, long story cut short I got a blue script now for Espranor & NO METHADONE, it was part my own choosing but I was stuck & trapped in a corner with nowhere to go, do I really wanna get clean OR do I just wanna fuck about still was the option in front of me.
Sitting here now with a green & the fucking blue script too, those who know will understand what the blue one is for if I also have a green one
I can feel the gear from yesterday with added meth leaking out of me already, I got the yawn on for the last 2 hours, the cold shock up the spine like an electronic shock etc so I am starting to get sick as I type this.
I got 2mg X 3 for today & then 2mg X25 & then 8mg X14, I am shitting myself, I cannot bullshit this anymore, Methadone is GONE & I now have to face myself in all the Horror of a naked junkie alone with their actions & behaviour.
It's Espranor or NOTHING & that means.......well it's not going to be a nice sight to say the least.
"She tells me she comes from my mother the mountain
Her skin fits her tightly
And her lips do not lie
She silently slips from her throat a medallion
Slowly she twirls it
In front of my eyes
Sing a-too a-loor-a-lie-o
I watch her, I love her, I long for to touch her
The satin she's wearin'
Is shimmering blue
Outside my window her ladies are sleeping
My dogs a gone hunting
The howling is through
Sing a-too a-loor-a-lie-o
So I reach for her hand and her eyes turn to poison
And her hair turns to splinters,
And her flesh turns to brine
She leaps across the room, she stands in the window
And screams that my first-born
Will surely be blind
Sing a-too a-loor-a-lie-o
Then she throws herself out to the black of the nightfall
She's parted her lips
But she makes not a sound
I fly down the stairway, and I run to the garden
No trace of my true love
Is there to be found
Sing a-too a-loor-a-lie-o
So walk these hills lightly, and watch who you're lovin'
By mother the mountain
I swear that it's true
And love not a woman with hair black as midnight
And a dress made of satin
All shimmering blue."