Being kind to oneself and all that.

[KurtAurelius]

I clearly haven’t understood this concept if im here moaning about it lol..

It’s been on my mind this morning as it was said to me by somebody supporting me yesterday in regards to my health issues and employment.

But basically I’ve always had this kind of weird self deprecation complex, and the last few years tried to hone it to “responsibility max” applying the silly methodology of “I’m a man so I’m accountable for everything”

Honestly it seems it became a tool for me to keep blaming myself for everything and that I just hadn’t tried hard enough for this, or hadn’t been thoughtful enough to attempt another way etc.

Even with reminding myself only so much is in our control, I’d find myself accomplishing whatever needs “doing” but with a total lack of energy for anything else after the fact.

Days of doing to no end, and then no energy left for anything other than to sleep until the flight of adrenaline crashes you forward to your next to do list.

“It never ends, live openly even if it hurts, meet your fear like a lover, etc”

It’s all good stuff, but I can’t stop myself from burning out.

Well my first reaction to reading myself type that is to go “I can’t but I won’t”

I used to do a lot of affirmations in my journalling, and try to be more constructive in my criticisms.

Wondering if anyone has any thoughts regarding self kindness?

 

[M!$TER-ED]

Loving yourself for what you are, not what you think you are supposed to be is a mystery. It all boils down to acceptance and who you are to yourself.
Once you figure out who you truly are...you can be anything / anyone you want to be. grasshopper

 

[jasperkent]

I figured out a while back that I might as well get along with myself.
I'm stuck with me for the rest of my life.

 

[M!$TER-ED]

I figured out a while back that I might as well get along with myself.
I'm stuck with me for the rest of my life.

I am glad you are you. I see you're from Chattanooga, I used to camp at Cloudland Canyon

 

[PtahTek]

“It never ends, live openly even if it hurts, meet your fear like a lover, etc”

Can we add amor fati - love of fate or a favorite definition of mine is "embrace your fate". Wth, right?

Burnout is real. No doubting that on my end. Is there a known diagnosis of sorts that may give insight to what may be causing these "highs" and "lows"? Any illicit drug use involved? Alcohol?

As to being kind to oneself I struggle with this as well. As I understand it it involves doing things that bring you joy, peace, relaxation etc be it from visiting a spa, sitting in silence, taking bubble baths, eating your favorite food, treating yourself to some new threads the list goes on but hope the gist is there. For the sake of your enjoyment not to appease or please others.
I could be totally off here as posted I'm still struggling with it, so....
I suppose there is a connection to self love and loving oneself but cannot fathom these concepts at this time. Not saying I hate myself just find some past actions tend to get in the way. Workin on this, too.

Trash talking oneself is also a favorite of mine. I do it all the time. Again... workin on it.

I'll have to watch this thread cause I like some answers provided by others. Insight from anywhere is still insight.

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

I suppose there is a connection to self love and loving oneself but cannot fathom these concepts at this time. Not saying I hate myself just find some past actions tend to get in the way. Workin on this, too.

we are all 'works in progress' right?

I'm not saying we should fully let ourselves off the hook if we've been real cunts in the past, but really the invitation is to learn for it and grow, especially considering we cannot change one single second of what has gone before

Would we give ourselves a good kicking for flicking our porridge at the wallpaper when sitting in our high chair aged 18 months?

 

[PtahTek]

Would we give ourselves a good kicking for flicking our porridge at the wallpaper when sitting in our high chair aged 18 months?

reminiscent of a question posed:
could you forgive that 4 or 5 year old?
my answer: absolutely not. too quick,.yeah.
work in progress.
and agreed: cant shrug it completely off and learn from the memory. asking forgiveness is not enough, it seems... at least from my perspective as skewed as it may pr may not be.
but to respond to that question idk its what i grew up with so its normal.
guess im lucky i dont have kids.

I clearly haven’t understood this concept if im here moaning about it lol..

you are not alone.
its a hard concept for me to grasp as well as implement.

 

[M!$TER-ED]

It's more than being kind to yourself, it's about forgiveness and accountability. To start you must be completely honest with yourself and acknowledge the good and the bad. Look at yourself as an observer, third person, objectively. See yourself as you really are. Make restitution to people you've harmed and forgive yourself. This is how I was liberated from my past, now I live in the present full-time, I don't know how to live any other way. If you know yourself you can choose to be anything / anyone you want to be.

Love is the answer.