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Cocaine Binging coke vs. using small amounts consistently

danosaurous22

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 10, 2025
Messages
127
Just curious about those who have been deep into a cocaine addiction: were you a binge user who used until you ran out to blow off steam or were you able to take small doses on a regular basis? It is baffling to me how I will always justify buying a bunch of coke by telling myself I will limit how much I use so that a ball lasts, say, a week or two if I'm being hopeful, but every single time I will literally use it until I have to go to work (then finish it after work) or until I run out, then take a couple weeks off then tell myself the same shit next payday. I almost am thankful that I burn it all in a day or two on my days off because it feels less intrusive in my life and I'm not totally reliant on it or used to that state, it stays pretty refreshing (in its own way obviously there's horror to it too) and since the binge is so mentally and physically taxing I'm kind of sick of it at the end of it anyway. Always ready for more when I have the money and a week off of it though.

Binge use is probably more dangerous, I do understand that I'm playing with fire but I have an invincibility complex with shit like this or maybe a death wish-- the only limit to my dosing now is when I enter a terrifying psychosis and can't stomach anymore, but that wears off unfortunately in an few hours after the big dose. Honestly I assume that most addicts use it like me, to escape their life, and that escape feels so good when you get into the session that I just make an executive decision to stay in that state as long as I can before the world pulls me back into reality. I get a certain novelty out of changing my head so much with such huge binges, as stupid as that is-- it's really a roller coaster ride that leaves me feeling like I'm looking at the world with new eyes, at the cost of going coockoo for a couple days and obviously walking a fine line with ODs and the possibility of a real mental health crisis. But I really can't help myself, to the point where when I'm sober I'll really believe that this time I'll chip it or some shit. Then I fry my brain and go back to reality feeling like I had a little vacation from this world, a little bit of danger and adrenaline and a new perspective. I think doing it in small amounts regularly always sounds appealing but I almost feel like that would be more torturous because now you're reliant on this substance to just get through the day, probably end up being more expensive due to tolerance too. My true perspective, even though I deny it constantly, is this drug helps you escape your brain and the world when you've got time to spend. The psychosis really is starting to sour the experience to me though, I'm amazed that I come back after a few hours given how crazy the hallucinations can be and how the paranoia just totally disconnects you from reality.
 
Bottom line is if you're depressed and bored of life it's tough to beat the excitement coke brings, even if it's hellish and so fucking destructive to yourself and everything around you. I always remember how exciting it was and I think the decision to quit is tough because it means denying yourself the life you want for some belief in the greater good and the betterment of yourself and your environment. That sounds like a no brainer, but if you don't believe the world is all that great and see it in a more negative light it feels so good to just drop out of it and live on your own planet for a while. As stupid as it sounds I like the challenge it brings to my life too, I feel like I cycle through so much emotion and energy and feelings that it leaves me feeling like I lived another lifetime in just a couple days. Maybe I'm a masochist, but I feel like I somehow get a lot out of the negativity and horror of the drug as well as the more euphoric aspects, as though I'm seeing a more dramatic and diverse world as opposed to people who prioritize comfort and safety. Obviously you can't take those feelings with you and I never actually do anything to help the world or myself in that time, but until I learn to value the world and myself I can't just easily rationalize quitting. Mental/physical health crisis would put a devastating stop to this behavior though, it just hasn't happened yet.
 
Bottom line is if you're depressed and bored of life it's tough to beat the excitement coke brings, even if it's hellish and so fucking destructive to yourself and everything around you. I always remember how exciting it was and I think the decision to quit is tough because it means denying yourself the life you want for some belief in the greater good and the betterment of yourself and your environment. That sounds like a no brainer, but if you don't believe the world is all that great and see it in a more negative light it feels so good to just drop out of it and live on your own planet for a while. As stupid as it sounds I like the challenge it brings to my life too, I feel like I cycle through so much emotion and energy and feelings that it leaves me feeling like I lived another lifetime in just a couple days. Maybe I'm a masochist, but I feel like I somehow get a lot out of the negativity and horror of the drug as well as the more euphoric aspects, as though I'm seeing a more dramatic and diverse world as opposed to people who prioritize comfort and safety. Obviously you can't take those feelings with you and I never actually do anything to help the world or myself in that time, but until I learn to value the world and myself I can't just easily rationalize quitting. Mental/physical health crisis would put a devastating stop to this behavior though, it just hasn't happened yet.
Been there and done it, I finished the start of August 2025, with slapping my head about with crack mainly, sometimes sniff on top I used to sometimes budget and snack it other times, bang! All my dollars gone on a binge ! I'm glad I have stopped it been on it for 15years and it took a year and a half to stop , one year of it being a member of bluelight until I got my head focused and threw the pipes away in the trash, I feel better now than I have in decades, yes I was a masochistic with cocaine and crack, I wasn't washing or showering for 6-7 months or washing clothes etc if you are questioning your usage wether it's smaller amounts more regularly or larger binge sessions then more likely your subconscious has brought you here to bluelight in respect to the fact that you aren't enjoying it anymore and possibly you realise that you are in a dark hole and its getting deeper and you want out, if so keep up with logging onto bluelight and read posts/chat with the members that are veterans of the drugs game they will help, they helped me out a fair bit but had to study myself and knock it into my brain that the truth was the cocaine had taken over so time to stop, good luck 💙🙏
 
I’ve heard lots of novel issues with Cocaine being a tropane, and it’s blood pressure, vasoconstriction and even something like it being damaging to tissue if used repeatedly due to the numbing and the constriction then starving of blood vessels for oxygen

This is not verified info, but makes sense regarding its weird and imo dirty profile,

Big binges are way riskier the more unhealthy and by proxy older you are due the body’s ability to handle such pressure on the cardiovascular system, with things like maximum heart rate lowering as you age likely being dangerous with reckless cocaine use.

If there is any level of tolerance to these effects they aren’t so, only the pleasurable effects gain tolerance.

Perhaps a certain dose by person may not cause enough issues to cause linear and fatal damage but this is still questionable with how repeated dosing would need to be even accounting for sleep.

Say the level of intranasal use needed across 12-14 hours, likely once per hour, even if using pure hydrochloride with nasal spray and the plethora of things you’d need to do for your nose,

Or plugging what, still every hour or to, and what it does to your membrane over time same as the nose.

It’s hard to belive even with a perfect specimen and regimen this not causing damage even with let’s say no more than 25-50mg per dose.

500mg of pure scale over 10-12 hours (but in the day) every 4-6 weeks with a perfect lifestyle and favourable genetics, and being 20-35 is the best I’d say it gets and you still would have to give it up.

If suffering any actual disability or needing maintenance I’d say even so, someone should be on oral methylphenidate with no more than 100mg a day, all slow release except maybe 10-20mg of that 100 in the evening say 5-6pm to go to bed for 10pm.

You’d still need to live perfectly- sleep, exercise, nutrition, blood checks, and likely a robust supplement protocol that is designed to limit the effects of chronic norepinephrine and also the peripheral issues but it’s a far safer drug that hits almost everything except that serotonin reuptake- can’t comment on how much it adds to cocaines effects.

Cocaine does not seem worth it due the oddities regarding how tropanes are very cardiotoxic to my understanding + the issues the drug causes with its administration
 
How do people afford to use these kinds of things every day? I go broke within a week and I don't make a bad amount of money
me either. I save my money and use very little but could not afford much of a habit at all.

But I believe that’s a factor in not being far more liberal with my use.
 
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