Need Help Kicking the blues, any extra advice is welcomed!!

[digitaldevil00]

Hey everybody - I have lurked in the forums off and on over the years, but never posted.

Background:
Previously addicted to blues (always only oral use, never crushing snorting smoking etc). At the time was popping around 8 to 16 pills daily, it had been roughly a 5-year addiction, started with percs and eventually got hooked on the fent blues. I kicked the habit back in 2018 by using Kratom when it was just starting to gain traction.. Mainly used green strains, and was able to get off the blues and taper out of the kratom inside a month and a half to 2 months. That stuff was my lifesaver. Had a great support system, my wife and friends and family all were there for me.

About a year after I got clean, my wife was became ill and had a fatal prognosis. Unfortunately, I ran right back to those blues... She died in late December of 2021.
I have been actively using the blues since 19. I am currently taking around 7 of them, three times daily. When I wake up, midday, and then again before bed. I have managed to avoid consuming them any other way other than orally as well. (Always been too chickenshit to snort!)

Current Situation:
The year after she died I moved up to a remote part of the state. I only had one connection that I was getting my stuff through, and he fell off the map about a month ago. It's my understanding that he's now locked up due to possession. I do not have any other contacts WHATSOEVER to procure these any longer. I have stocked up on a variety of green and red strains of kratom, and I will effectively run out this upcoming Friday night/ Saturday morning.

I have been ready to stop for a long time anyways, so I have been mentally preparing myself over the past month, and has set things up to where I can DT at home in a comfortable and safe environment.

From my previous experience of WD's, the kratom actually worked miracles for me. It did cut about 85% of all WD symptoms, and I was actually back at work inside 3 days of stopping the fent. I was dosing roughly 3 to 5 times a day, and I seem to recall I was using roughly 5 to 8 grams per dose. Also is using grapefruit juice for potentiation.


Summary:
I am very confident that I can do this again, unfortunately I'm a little more on my own having lost my wife almost 4 years back. What I'm wondering is, now that kratom has become far more mainstream and has been successfully used by many many people for WD's, is if any other things have come along that are OTC that work well in tandem with it? I have noticed some things about vitamin c and black seed oil, but no idea the benefits and/or dosages people suggest.

Just looking for any additional recommendations or ideas for my upcoming journey back to sobriety.

I still remember the morning (about 2 months after I sobered up) that I took my last dose of kratom. It was such a wonderful feeling knowing that I was done having to rely on taking anything to feel normal. It was so freeing and profound. While I do beat myself up from time to time for falling back into that mess, I really feel like I can get through this again. Knowing that I live in a place where I cannot get that poison any longer, nor knowing literally anyone that can get me any also fuels my confidence.

I appreciate you taking the time to read this, and look forward to any extra advice/kind words /motivation that maybe offered my direction!!!


TL:DR:
Quitting fent blues this coming Saturday.
7 year consistent oral use, upwards of 25x pills /day.
Using kratom to offset WD's.
Have previously successfully used this method to get sober (2018). Looking for any recommendations or current suggestions on things to take in parallel (OTC) that people have found to be useful.


Tia!!

Big D

 

[NY2soFlo]

Check out the lo g in my script, I just went through it detoxing from Fent, all the meds and OTC supplements will of course apply to you.

The vitamin C megadosing was one of the biggest contributing factors in making this past detox manageable. I've detoxed many times off of blues, heroin, fent, and this felt significantly "better". The log has a lot of good info that others suggested as well.

Good Luck! and make sure your mind is right before starting!

 

[digitaldevil00]

Good morning! (At least good morning from AZ haha)
First and foremost, thank you for your reply. I had previously touched and poked around in your log, before I had actually posted my thread. I took the time this morning to actually read it from start to finish.
A HUGE CONGRATULATIONS ON WHAT YOU'VE ACCOMPLISHED!
I come from a family of alcoholics and addicts, so I've had lots and lots and lots of exposure to the program. Be it NA, AA, Al-Anon, etc. 90 in 90 is no small feat. Keep up the good work there!

The main difference that I noticed between your experience and my prior experience with detox is Kratom. I pretty much relied solely on that and OTC pain meds my first go around. I was dosing about 8 mg of Kratom powder the first couple of days, and while it pretty much wrecked my stomach, it did alleviate 85% or so of all WD symptoms. Also didn't really experience much sleep loss. I think I had mentioned in my post that I was pretty much back to work inside 3 days. This was also coming off a 5 plus year run of Percocet and pressed fent fake pills.

I'm actually pretty excited about the idea of the vitamin c... That was certainly something that hadn't been mentioned when I did my research my first go around back in 2018. I set up a nice laundry list of things from Amazon based on your posts and experience that will all be delivered in the next day or two - I will be able to start taking it all literally on day one. So far I have set up to order:
*B1 supplement
*NAD+
*Nausea relief
*Loperamide (anti diarrheal)
*Magnolia bark extract
*This stuff (looks semi-promising however won't come in until about day 3 for me: Withdrawal and Detox Support – QuitK Recovery Complex – Sleep, Energy, Stress, Mood, & Craving Support – Daily Supplement - Magnesium Glycinate, Ashwagandha, GABA, L-Theanine, Agmatine & More)
*L-Theanine Supplement
*BSO 5%
*Passion flower extract

And lastly,

*THE REAL MVP: Sodium Ascorbate Non Acidic Vitamin C 1000 Mg Tablets

I'm feeling really confident that between my kratom dosing, the vitamin c, and supplemental smaller doses of everything else, I can rock this.

Obviously with everything else, setting up a routine for dosing etc seems to be the big trick for everyone!

I'm also relieved for the fact that I have zero opportunity to hunt down and find anymore of the fent pills. And as you know, we get to a certain point where it's not about getting high or a buzz off of the stuff, it's simply to keep ourselves from being sick and operating normally. I say this because I would be very shocked if I had cravings. I really didn't have any last time, it was simply due to the overwhelming bad news that my wife was going to DIE and psychologically I just said "fuck this I want to go get loaded".

How are you feeling now? I saw your birthday was Monday, so happy belated. I hope you're doing well, and again thank you for all of the great info in your post. I will definitely check in after this upcoming weekend... Not looking forward to the first 4 days of absolute yuck.

All the best and thanks again

 

[NY2soFlo]

Good morning! (At least good morning from AZ haha)
First and foremost, thank you for your reply. I had previously touched and poked around in your log, before I had actually posted my thread. I took the time this morning to actually read it from start to finish.
A HUGE CONGRATULATIONS ON WHAT YOU'VE ACCOMPLISHED!
I come from a family of alcoholics and addicts, so I've had lots and lots and lots of exposure to the program. Be it NA, AA, Al-Anon, etc. 90 in 90 is no small feat. Keep up the good work there!

The main difference that I noticed between your experience and my prior experience with detox is Kratom. I pretty much relied solely on that and OTC pain meds my first go around. I was dosing about 8 mg of Kratom powder the first couple of days, and while it pretty much wrecked my stomach, it did alleviate 85% or so of all WD symptoms. Also didn't really experience much sleep loss. I think I had mentioned in my post that I was pretty much back to work inside 3 days. This was also coming off a 5 plus year run of Percocet and pressed fent fake pills.

I'm actually pretty excited about the idea of the vitamin c... That was certainly something that hadn't been mentioned when I did my research my first go around back in 2018. I set up a nice laundry list of things from Amazon based on your posts and experience that will all be delivered in the next day or two - I will be able to start taking it all literally on day one. So far I have set up to order:
*B1 supplement
*NAD+
*Nausea relief
*Loperamide (anti diarrheal)
*Magnolia bark extract
*This stuff (looks semi-promising however won't come in until about day 3 for me: Withdrawal and Detox Support – QuitK Recovery Complex – Sleep, Energy, Stress, Mood, & Craving Support – Daily Supplement - Magnesium Glycinate, Ashwagandha, GABA, L-Theanine, Agmatine & More)
*L-Theanine Supplement
*BSO 5%
*Passion flower extract

And lastly,

*THE REAL MVP: Sodium Ascorbate Non Acidic Vitamin C 1000 Mg Tablets

I'm feeling really confident that between my kratom dosing, the vitamin c, and supplemental smaller doses of everything else, I can rock this.

Obviously with everything else, setting up a routine for dosing etc seems to be the big trick for everyone!

I'm also relieved for the fact that I have zero opportunity to hunt down and find anymore of the fent pills. And as you know, we get to a certain point where it's not about getting high or a buzz off of the stuff, it's simply to keep ourselves from being sick and operating normally. I say this because I would be very shocked if I had cravings. I really didn't have any last time, it was simply due to the overwhelming bad news that my wife was going to DIE and psychologically I just said "fuck this I want to go get loaded".

How are you feeling now? I saw your birthday was Monday, so happy belated. I hope you're doing well, and again thank you for all of the great info in your post. I will definitely check in after this upcoming weekend... Not looking forward to the first 4 days of absolute yuck.

All the best and thanks again

You sound like you're in the right mindset to do it, which is awesome. I also get to the point where I'm just tired of it all and kicking on my terms is infinitely better then kicking on "not" my terms. All the meds you listed I took and would take again. The only one I may have mentioned but never took was the NAD- although the current research behind it looks very promising (and at the very least can't hurt).

I dosed the vitamin C at 2g every 2 or so hours while awake. It's not like I felt it kick in, but it was the only real variable that changed between this past time and other detoxes. This past time should have been the worst and it was actually the easiest.

Thanks for the bday wishes, it felt like I finally did myself justice by spending a bday totally clean.

Stock up on some easy to eat food, gatorade, and anything that will make you feel decent. I'm not a big weed smoker but I definitely found relief in taking a hit here or there. Go into it knowing exactly what's to come, and that it won't last forever. The PAWS was uncomfortable for a few weeks but once I started to REALLY feel better, it really is beyond words. Good luck! keep us updated if you have it in you lol.

 

[digitaldevil00]

Ironically, I can't smoke weed! I get sick every single time lol.
I think what I'm really looking forward to is being able to actually travel and not worry about having to have "enough" with me, and the absolute nerve-wracking part of going through TSA and worrying they're going to see a bunch of blues in my bag. There was one trip a number of years back where I had gone to Washington to visit some family and I had miscalculated what I needed. I ran out almost two days ahead of time... It was everything I could do to get home and get some relief. I felt like absolute hot garbage! Definitely was not fun. And of course good luck trying to find anything like that in a completely different city from where you live. (Not that I certainly didn't make any attempts!)

I'm just looking forward to not having to rely on it anymore. Just being able to take that portion back on its own is huge. Oh and a relief of the handful of times I would have to go and "stock up" in the fear of driving back and forth with a large amount that on me... I was buying "boats" of them. And God help me had I gotten pulled over. This is why I laughed at what you said as far as getting clean on your own terms versus "not" your own. I've been in jail once for something completely unrelated and I was watching people detox in there and it was watching a waking nightmare. I can't imagine going through that.

I'll toss an update in Sunday or Monday and let you guys know how I'm doing!

 

[NY2soFlo]

I know all about it. I've found that when traveling no matter how much I do I'm always only saving barely a wakeup for my last day. Landing at home and taking an uber straight to pickup before going home. Whether I'm gone for 3 days or 7. And unless I was going home to NY I just assumed there was no shot in finding anything (although I've tried lol). Especially with how strong the fent was that I was getting- almost nothing else did the trick.

I just visited fam last weekend and it was so nice to not have to worry about it at all. Or, worry that I may have left some type of evidence behind after leaving. Mostly though, I try to actively reflect each day- that I'm not waking up and waiting for a reply text to go pick up, not having to juggle finances to stay well, and not having to plan literally every single thing around making sure I have enough to stay well.

Waking up and feeling good may not feel as good as being high- but really, after years of everyday use I hadn't felt good in years. Anytime I needed to pickup my thoughts went to the initial feeling it gave me, but in reality I hadn't felt it in years. The only thing close to it was getting well after being very sick for a day or two... and who wants to do that just to feel it lol. I just always got the next one to feel not bad, and that's when it just gets stupid. I was over it for years but didnt get over it enough until recently. Anyway, goodluck again. You know it will suck for a bit but then it feels pretty damn amazing.

 

[digitaldevil00]

Quick update, 36 hours in.
Yesterday wasn't a cakewalk, but I've had the flu that felt worse than I did... Definitely some restless leg stuff going on, but was able to get up and around even drove down to the local gas station and got myself an iced tea and drove home. Spent the mass majority of the day either in bed watching YouTube videos trying to sleep or out of my garage having the occasional smoke. I would say about the worst of it was around 2:00 a.m. this morning when I woke up really kind of feeling things but I hadn't had anything I'm close to 6 hours.


Here's been the basic regimen:
Every 2hrs: 3-5g green maengda kratom
Every 2hrs: 2g sodium ascorbate Vit C caps
.

Am started with :
.25mg alprazolam
Magnolia bark ex 300mg
NaD+ liquid - 1tsp
B1 supp 500mg
L Theanine 400mg

Roughly the same thing right before 10:00 p.m. as well, but took a full .5mg alprazolam to try and help me sleep


Still waiting on BSO 5% , passion flower extract , and that recovery complex... That all arrives tomorrow. Thanks Amazon for being an extra day late as usual! (Joys of living in the sticks I suppose)

I did start looking around for online bupe providers yesterday and ran into a hitch. I admitted that I did have a script for my alprazolam and they told me that they would need to coordinate care with my provider. Problem is my provider is as a licensed LPN; she is an old and dear friend of mine who happens to know a bunch of other old and dear friends of mine.... Effectively ruining any anonymity amongst my friends. Seems like that's going to be the same case for any provider I go through. I can't risk letting her know out of freaking her out and upsetting her and then having my friends find out.

I've never used Suboxone before, and while I hear it's a wonderful thing, I've also heard it's trading one for another and I feel like at this rate I might as well just suck it up and get through the worst of the 10 days and then I'll be fine.

I'm actually supposed to travel to Seattle on the 2nd... Wondering if I'm even going to make it yet. I've got my finger on the pulse of that trip ready to pull the trigger and postpone it at any moment. But if I can get through today and tomorrow similar as I did yesterday, I will be fine.

Thanks again for everybody's help, especially you NY2soFlo!

 

[digitaldevil00]

Morning update, 53 hours in!

Now I don't recall If my memory serves me correctly, but around 48 hours I should have been having peak WD's.....

Yesterday was day 2, and not only did I hang out in my garage most of the day, I tinkered with my car, I watched YouTube videos, managed to watch about 2 or 3 movies, had three small meals, and even took a drive down to the local gas station to pick up a iced tea (going down there and getting a tea is a daily ritual). Now again, if my memory serves me correctly, I should have been fucking dying yesterday. Was I comfortable and perfect? Absolutely not! Was I functional? Absolutely was! Even had a neighbor come by and chat with me for roughly an hour and he couldn't tell there was anything wrong whatsoever.

So I don't know if either I'm getting really fucking lucky or if this is just the calm before the storm. Of course I'm hoping it's the sooner over the latter haha. Even got a solid 6 hours sleep overnight. Been averaging 2 hour naps off and on as well.

It's definitely going a lot easier than even my first detox back in 19. I think maybe it's a combination of all the extra supplements and the heavy dosing of the vitamin c is what's the difference in this case. Strangely enough I think it also helps that I'm up higher in elevation in the colder climate and not down in Phoenix where it's hot and miserable and disgusting 100% of the year. (Yeah that's a slight exaggeration but not by much)

I'm wondering if I cruise through this day three the same way I did yesterday, I'm going to start tapering down over the course of the week and see how I do by this upcoming weekend. I haven't decided clue how long the half-life is of pressed fake fentanyl blues taken orally for literally years, but again this time about the worst feeling I get is I start to get the jitter shaky uncomfortable leg thing going on, some yawning, and just that general uncomfortable ick feeling if I get past about a 2-hour point without taking any vitamin c/3G Kratom.

Also different this time and of note, I was taking five to eight grams of straight kratom powder during my first detox in 19 about every 4 hours, And I did that for 2 months! I just slowly tapered off and didn't have any terrible side effects other than maybe feeling like I hadn't drank coffee in about a week.

Anyways, just wanted to check in and keep everybody updated on progress! Cheers to day three! Might even take the dog out for my regularly scheduled 3 plus mile walk this afternoon.

 

[NY2soFlo]

Dude your message sounds like my first few posts around days 2-4. I was not sure what to think- sure I knew I was in WD but it wasn't the hell I was expecting or what it had always been. I was almost afraid to be happy about it, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop lol.

Well, knock on wood I hope this is just what it is. For me, it was. I was uncomfortable and definitely in WD but the level of extremity was muted for sure. I hope that's how it unfolds for you! check back in in the next few days and let us know!

I'd really love to see another instance (in real time) of these over the counter supps making a noticeable improvement!

 

[tokayeahok]

fuck. i just want to say i’m so so sorry about your wife. honestly made we absolutely weep reading that. i’ve been on this forum since i was 16, and now i’m 29 and i’m kicking as well with you. it’s not been too bad so far.. im almost at like 28 hours off. i tapered off to some of the shittier blues with who knows what in it, only doing maybe 5 a day insufflated. im the same boat as you, and im rooting for you! i’m doing mine again with suboxone since i’ve been on it for a year and a half and ive been on and off of it just to be able to use fent. i’m in the best relationship of my life - my partner is a therapist and we want a family and marriage and i just HAVE to do it this time. but knowing how much i love and adore my partner, and her support, it made me cry reading about you losing your wife. if you never properly grieved her and just tackled it with blues, please try to find some support man. but i’m also back on the forum so feel free to message me. my friends on here don’t seem to login anymore or they have passed.

but you got awesome OTC meds, the kratom will help, especially on days 3+. you got this. second by second, hour by hour, day by day.

 

[digitaldevil00]

fuck. i just want to say i’m so so sorry about your wife. honestly made we absolutely weep reading that. i’ve been on this forum since i was 16, and now i’m 29 and i’m kicking as well with you. it’s not been too bad so far.. im almost at like 28 hours off. i tapered off to some of the shittier blues with who knows what in it, only doing maybe 5 a day insufflated. im the same boat as you, and im rooting for you! i’m doing mine again with suboxone since i’ve been on it for a year and a half and ive been on and off of it just to be able to use fent. i’m in the best relationship of my life - my partner is a therapist and we want a family and marriage and i just HAVE to do it this time. but knowing how much i love and adore my partner, and her support, it made me cry reading about you losing your wife. if you never properly grieved her and just tackled it with blues, please try to find some support man. but i’m also back on the forum so feel free to message me. my friends on here don’t seem to login anymore or they have passed.

but you got awesome OTC meds, the kratom will help, especially on days 3+. you got this. second by second, hour by hour, day by day.

Thank you. I could go on and on about her. Was sweet on her in HS, We were always the best of friends, and she was the first woman I told that I loved at 20 years old. (Of course this scared the hell out of her and she stared at me like a deer in headlights )
So she ends up being the one that got away.

Then all of a sudden at 39 years old, We began dating. We admitted we had always loved each other, even compared people we dated to each other! We proceeded to have five really wonderful years together, we were engaged 3 years in... And then she got sick. We got married on December 2nd at a small ceremony in our home. 8 days later she had a minor stroke and went to the hospital... 11 days after that she died. We were married a total of 19 days.

Regardless of that insultingly short amount of time, we had years together, hell, we had a lifetime together. We were always close friends and we always kept in touch even when we weren't dating. We cried together we laughed together we did everything together. It took me a long time to find gratitude in the time I did have with her instead of finding anger for the time that the universe took away from us. She changed my life completely and I completely hers. I think she knew she was going to die and that's why she finally said let's get it done (getting married). She never had children, but she treated my children I had had with my previous wife as her own and loved them as her own as well. It was a very hard loss for all of us.

You mentioned that you wondered if I had had time to grieve her and have closure, that I actually did. Again with the drugs it was never a money issue for me so I always had plenty on hand. I'm sure they certainly numbed things a little for me but I did have a good three plus years to really grieve.

I actually started seeing someone for the first time since her this last May. Beautiful, 6 ft tall, 35-year-old ex model. I had known her for years. Never thought in a zillion years she would have been into me, but she was! Or at least I thought.
Turns out she was a grade a narcissist. So we dated for 4 months, and it was over. However the important lesson of it was finding out that I could find love again, and it showed me how dearly I missed having companionship.

So there's anything that she gave me it was motivation (and a very renewed sex drive ). I finally feel better about myself in a zillion different ways... And this was the last piece of the puzzle. Going into my fourth day soon and here I am!

Today I walked 3 mi with my dog, I went driving with my son, we went shooting for a while, I made dinner, I picked up my house, and I have a friend staying with me that arrived tonight - he's just here to shorten a lengthy commute over the next week or two.

So, how am I doing so far?

Fucking fantastic.

 

[tokayeahok]

Thank you. I could go on and on about her. Was sweet on her in HS, We were always the best of friends, and she was the first woman I told that I loved at 20 years old. (Of course this scared the hell out of her and she stared at me like a deer in headlights )
So she ends up being the one that got away.

Then all of a sudden at 39 years old, We began dating. We admitted we had always loved each other, even compared people we dated to each other! We proceeded to have five really wonderful years together, we were engaged 3 years in... And then she got sick. We got married on December 2nd at a small ceremony in our home. 8 days later she had a minor stroke and went to the hospital... 11 days after that she died. We were married a total of 19 days.

Regardless of that insultingly short amount of time, we had years together, hell, we had a lifetime together. We were always close friends and we always kept in touch even when we weren't dating. We cried together we laughed together we did everything together. It took me a long time to find gratitude in the time I did have with her instead of finding anger for the time that the universe took away from us. She changed my life completely and I completely hers. I think she knew she was going to die and that's why she finally said let's get it done (getting married). She never had children, but she treated my children I had had with my previous wife as her own and loved them as her own as well. It was a very hard loss for all of us.

You mentioned that you wondered if I had had time to grieve her and have closure, that I actually did. Again with the drugs it was never a money issue for me so I always had plenty on hand. I'm sure they certainly numbed things a little for me but I did have a good three plus years to really grieve.

I actually started seeing someone for the first time since her this last May. Beautiful, 6 ft tall, 35-year-old ex model. I had known her for years. Never thought in a zillion years she would have been into me, but she was! Or at least I thought.
Turns out she was a grade a narcissist. So we dated for 4 months, and it was over. However the important lesson of it was finding out that I could find love again, and it showed me how dearly I missed having companionship.

So there's anything that she gave me it was motivation (and a very renewed sex drive ). I finally feel better about myself in a zillion different ways... And this was the last piece of the puzzle. Going into my fourth day soon and here I am!

Today I walked 3 mi with my dog, I went driving with my son, we went shooting for a while, I made dinner, I picked up my house, and I have a friend staying with me that arrived tonight - he's just here to shorten a lengthy commute over the next week or two.

So, how am I doing so far?

Fucking fantastic.

That makes me smile man that’s absolutely incredible.

 

[tokayeahok]

Thank you. I could go on and on about her. Was sweet on her in HS, We were always the best of friends, and she was the first woman I told that I loved at 20 years old. (Of course this scared the hell out of her and she stared at me like a deer in headlights )
So she ends up being the one that got away.

Then all of a sudden at 39 years old, We began dating. We admitted we had always loved each other, even compared people we dated to each other! We proceeded to have five really wonderful years together, we were engaged 3 years in... And then she got sick. We got married on December 2nd at a small ceremony in our home. 8 days later she had a minor stroke and went to the hospital... 11 days after that she died. We were married a total of 19 days.

Regardless of that insultingly short amount of time, we had years together, hell, we had a lifetime together. We were always close friends and we always kept in touch even when we weren't dating. We cried together we laughed together we did everything together. It took me a long time to find gratitude in the time I did have with her instead of finding anger for the time that the universe took away from us. She changed my life completely and I completely hers. I think she knew she was going to die and that's why she finally said let's get it done (getting married). She never had children, but she treated my children I had had with my previous wife as her own and loved them as her own as well. It was a very hard loss for all of us.

You mentioned that you wondered if I had had time to grieve her and have closure, that I actually did. Again with the drugs it was never a money issue for me so I always had plenty on hand. I'm sure they certainly numbed things a little for me but I did have a good three plus years to really grieve.

I actually started seeing someone for the first time since her this last May. Beautiful, 6 ft tall, 35-year-old ex model. I had known her for years. Never thought in a zillion years she would have been into me, but she was! Or at least I thought.
Turns out she was a grade a narcissist. So we dated for 4 months, and it was over. However the important lesson of it was finding out that I could find love again, and it showed me how dearly I missed having companionship.

So there's anything that she gave me it was motivation (and a very renewed sex drive ). I finally feel better about myself in a zillion different ways... And this was the last piece of the puzzle. Going into my fourth day soon and here I am!

Today I walked 3 mi with my dog, I went driving with my son, we went shooting for a while, I made dinner, I picked up my house, and I have a friend staying with me that arrived tonight - he's just here to shorten a lengthy commute over the next week or two.

So, how am I doing so far?

Fucking fantastic.

my partner just split it off with me. i’m on day 2/3ish. complete shock. this came out of nowhere and she sent a text and blocked me on everything. i’m just in panic and in shock. i don’t have any friends.

 

[digitaldevil00]

my partner just split it off with me. i’m on day 2/3ish. complete shock. this came out of nowhere and she sent a text and blocked me on everything. i’m just in panic and in shock. i don’t have any friends.

Oh no... Was she aware you were using?

 

[digitaldevil00]

83 hours in ...
Super happy

Actually had a really productive day yesterday. Took a 3 mi walk with my pup, when shooting with my kid, made dinner cleaned house etc etc. Last night was a little rough, really had trouble sleeping and definitely had some bad RLS going on. I end up passing out around 3:30 or 4:00 a.m. out of sheer exhaustion. I got about 6 hours of sleep. Still feeling pretty good, going to go run some errands now. Pretty much just using vitamin c and 3 g of kratom about every two to three hours.

All in all things are going really really well. I have a trip this upcoming Monday that I wasn't even sure I was going to be able to make due to all of this, but it's looking more and more like I will actually make it! Super exciting.

 

[tokayeahok]

Oh no... Was she aware you were using?

she was, and she held in there. i suppose it was just too much. i’m just in complete shock. i’ve taken a lot of extra suboxone to just numb myself to stop crying and it’s still not fully working. i sat with that feeling for a few hours and then dosed my subs to just be able to function.

 

[digitaldevil00]

NINETY SIX HOURS, BAYBEEEEEE!

God I am so proud is of myself right now!

So last night kind of sucked. Had trouble sleeping, didn't actually fall asleep until about 3:00 a.m. my time. Had terrible RLS. But that was probably the worst of it since I took my last dose Friday at 11:00 p.m.

Standing in my shower a little bit ago, jamming out to nine inch nails blasting away dancing and smiling realizing I had 2 hours to hit my fourth day. I haven't had that kind of self-pride in a very very long time! Actually did some running around today, worked on my car, failed attempting to take an hour nap, got stuck on the phone with T-Mobile for 45 minutes, made dinner, and texted a lot of people.

Not too bad for a guy in his third day of quitting opiates cold turkey if you ask me!!! The first time I quit back in 2018 was so much harder. The Kratom and the vitamin c this time around really do seem to make all the difference. Besides from a bit of jitteriness and a little bit of uncomfortableness, I feel so much better! Also strangely enough, I've been having neuropathy in the top of my feet for probably the last year and a half and now my feet are actually starting to feel better!!! I remember wondering from time to time if the shit that I was ingesting was causing that or at least aggravating it. I'm beginning to think it was!

Hoping for another solid night sleep tonight, I still literally have nothing to do until Saturday so hopefully each day is another couple of steps up the ladder of being well again!

I really hope and pray that anyone else that decides to go through this finds some motivation and hope from the experience I am having! It can be done! I am doing this 100% on my own, I literally have one person in my life that knows what was going on and it's just one of my old buddies who I barely see ever. I knew it was important to get it off my chest.

Most of my friends just think I've got a little bit of a bug right now, and they're being nice and checking in on me etc... And I'm telling most of them I'm feeling about 70 to 80%.
Keep in mind, I have absolutely zero connections to get these anymore. So knowing that, I really haven't had much for cravings. I think it would have been very different if I was living in a place where I had easy access to them still. And my God, I don't even want to think about the money I wasted.
Anyways, I was about 80% today...

Shooting for 90 tomorrow

 

[tokayeahok]

i

NINETY SIX HOURS, BAYBEEEEEE!

God I am so proud is of myself right now!

So last night kind of sucked. Had trouble sleeping, didn't actually fall asleep until about 3:00 a.m. my time. Had terrible RLS. But that was probably the worst of it since I took my last dose Friday at 11:00 p.m.

Standing in my shower a little bit ago, jamming out to nine inch nails blasting away dancing and smiling realizing I had 2 hours to hit my fourth day. I haven't had that kind of self-pride in a very very long time! Actually did some running around today, worked on my car, failed attempting to take an hour nap, got stuck on the phone with T-Mobile for 45 minutes, made dinner, and texted a lot of people.

Not too bad for a guy in his third day of quitting opiates cold turkey if you ask me!!! The first time I quit back in 2018 was so much harder. The Kratom and the vitamin c this time around really do seem to make all the difference. Besides from a bit of jitteriness and a little bit of uncomfortableness, I feel so much better! Also strangely enough, I've been having neuropathy in the top of my feet for probably the last year and a half and now my feet are actually starting to feel better!!! I remember wondering from time to time if the shit that I was ingesting was causing that or at least aggravating it. I'm beginning to think it was!

Hoping for another solid night sleep tonight, I still literally have nothing to do until Saturday so hopefully each day is another couple of steps up the ladder of being well again!

I really hope and pray that anyone else that decides to go through this finds some motivation and hope from the experience I am having! It can be done! I am doing this 100% on my own, I literally have one person in my life that knows what was going on and it's just one of my old buddies who I barely see ever. I knew it was important to get it off my chest.

Most of my friends just think I've got a little bit of a bug right now, and they're being nice and checking in on me etc... And I'm telling most of them I'm feeling about 70 to 80%.
Keep in mind, I have absolutely zero connections to get these anymore. So knowing that, I really haven't had much for cravings. I think it would have been very different if I was living in a place where I had easy access to them still. And my God, I don't even want to think about the money I wasted.
Anyways, I was about 80% today...

Shooting for 90 tomorrow

congrats