• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: streaM Freak

Convince me not to buy more

Passable_rock

Passable_rock

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 26, 2025
Messages
71
I bought some k on friday 26th because I was planning to go at some free party but the plan fell thru. Obviously I just started using the K casually at home just chilling alone. It's wasn't from my usual plug and it was kinda shite, weak and "uneven", making it very difficult to dose, I like k-holes alot. So I was left very disapointed since I didn't get a nice k-hole so I bought some from my usual person when they restocked, and it was the nice ketamine I know, had the k-holes I wanted, I guess, and my tolerance is going up, I only have a little bit left for 2night and thats it. Every day since I got it I was able to do pretty much as much as I wanted, so it was great, but now its coming to an end and I really want to buy more. I'm aso kinda in a weird dark headspace where I enjoy my addictions and just want to keep going into this sadness. I know drugs are bad, but recently I had some profound introspection and I realise that part of why I find it so difficult to stop using drugs it's because I enjoy that they are bad for my health. It's weird, I didn't know that my brain was like that but here we are.

So yea idk exactly what I'm looking for, maybe some encouragement? I don't wanna be told "nooo don't do it it's bad for you and you said you'd gonna stop after this bag", it just doesn't work. If I don't get any reponses it's fine too, I realise it's very theraputic for me to just write about my problems in "public".

So I just opened a beer and starting listening to music, and smoke cigarettes, I guess it's better for now.
 
Last edited:
Passable_rock said:
recently I had some profound introspection and I realise that part of why I find it so difficult to stop using drugs it's because I enjoy that they are bad for my health
Click to expand...
lol, at least you know it's bad for you 👍

Here, looking at this makes me not want to do ketamine that much
jhjhsdi

⫸STICKY⫷ Thread 'Why you shouldn't abuse Ketamine (nsfw photos)'

(TL-DR: look at the pics of what i pissed out and dont abuse ket)

I thought I had lost these photos but I'm glad I found them. I've been wanting/meaning to make this thread for ages.
1. To remind me never to go back
2. To remind me how far I've come and
3. To share/warn/educate others who may go or be going down the same path.
These were taken between March and July 2016, apart from the very last one which was actually taken in October 2018!
Note: there was actually WAY WORSE stuff that came out of me, before and during I was in rehab (June-July 2016) but I actually rarely took photos. I...
  • Wow
  • Like
  • Heart
 
Blowmonkey said:
lol, at least you know it's bad for you 👍

Here, looking at this makes me not want to do ketamine that much
jhjhsdi

⫸STICKY⫷ Thread 'Why you shouldn't abuse Ketamine (nsfw photos)'

(TL-DR: look at the pics of what i pissed out and dont abuse ket)

I thought I had lost these photos but I'm glad I found them. I've been wanting/meaning to make this thread for ages.
1. To remind me never to go back
2. To remind me how far I've come and
3. To share/warn/educate others who may go or be going down the same path.
These were taken between March and July 2016, apart from the very last one which was actually taken in October 2018!
Note: there was actually WAY WORSE stuff that came out of me, before and during I was in rehab (June-July 2016) but I actually rarely took photos. I...
  • Wow
  • Like
  • Heart
Click to expand...
Ah yes I've read all these threads. One of the 1st thing I did when I came here was to look up ketamine and I saw those, pretty horrible stuff I must admit. It definitely reinforced the idea that it can be really bad in my head. At least it made is so I hydrate myself much better on this ket binge compared to my previous ones. I was aware k was bad for the bladder, but not to this extend. It made me super conscious of what was happening in this region, as far a bodily sensations, wondering how bladder pain would even feel like if I had it, maybe sometimes I fell I slight thing? I'm not sure, I also have to pee pretty often in general, and moreso in the recent months I think? But that also might be because I started taking spironolactone and I've been told it's a diuretic, another reason to hydrate well I guess.
 
I don't know about you, but no one could convince me to not buy more heroin... are you looking to hear something in particular? My guess is it won't be anything groundbreaking that you don't already know.
 
Passable_rock said:
I realise that part of why I find it so difficult to stop using drugs it's because I enjoy that they are bad for my health. It's weird, I didn't know that my brain was like that but here we are.
Click to expand...
So it's basically like an eloborate self-harm thing for you?

If so, fear not. You're drinking alcohol which is definitely a 'hard' drug and directly toxic to every single organ of the body - so mission accomplished
 
ageingpartyfiend said:
So it's basically like an eloborate self-harm thing for you?

If so, fear not. You're drinking alcohol which is definitely a 'hard' drug and directly toxic to every single organ of the body - so mission accomplished
Click to expand...
Ah touché, but alcohol is such a shit tier high tho. I'm trying to quit that as well.

@NY2soFlo No not really, idk I see some people here have such a great way with words, I thought maybe someone would have some that would resonate with me more. I think my biggest need right now it to be heard, and I'm getting that so thank you all.
 
Passable_rock said:
Ah touché, but alcohol is such a shit tier high tho. I'm trying to quit that as well.

@NY2soFlo No not really, idk I see some people here have such a great way with words, I thought maybe someone would have some that would resonate with me more. I think my biggest need right now it to be heard, and I'm getting that so thank you all.
Click to expand...
Being heard, truly heard...is rare and super-valuable

We're listening friend...expressing stuff can definitely lead to greater self-awareness for certain
 
What really got me going on wanting to get clean this time around was not so much anything terrible about using (which there was plenty), but rather all the things I wasn't doing. The idea of buying a new car, going away on trip (financially and not having to sneak fentanyl around), having money in the bank... literally anything I wanted to do that I simply was NEVER going to do while using. Money wise, and time wise. Granted, this wasnt a thought that just "hit" me one day, it was more of a slow building thing over time.
 
NY2soFlo said:
What really got me going on wanting to get clean this time around was not so much anything terrible about using (which there was plenty), but rather all the things I wasn't doing. The idea of buying a new car, going away on trip (financially and not having to sneak fentanyl around), having money in the bank... literally anything I wanted to do that I simply was NEVER going to do while using. Money wise, and time wise. Granted, this wasnt a thought that just "hit" me one day, it was more of a slow building thing over time.
Click to expand...
That true, it`s also one of my big motivations. There's ton of things that interests me, if I didn't buy drugs I'd have more money for fun stuff. and having a more clear mind, because I wouldn't always be thinking about my next high.
 
Passable_rock said:
That true, it`s also one of my big motivations. There's ton of things that interests me, if I didn't buy drugs I'd have more money for fun stuff. and having a more clear mind, because I wouldn't always be thinking about my next high.
Click to expand...
I think most of us that do get and stay clean (or reasonably clean) have main reasons that fall into the same few categories. Specifically, though, we need to find our own reasons.
 
Welp I bought more, it came today. I was happy, comfortable after a couples lines. I looked at my phone, a missed call from my mom, I called her back, one of our cat is dead :( Dang that fucker was the best snuggler. I ugly cried, had to stop to snort some k eh? I wish you could smoke it, oh well. Fuck.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top