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What kind of drug user are you?

Hmm. When I first tried drugs it was in company of max four persons and only once when going out. I believed for a long time that psychedelics could enrich my life, also started using several of them again 1,5 years ago after living sober for most of my life. Then got into dissos and finally back to opioids on which I stayed hooked for about a year now. I generally use by myself alone, very few exceptions. Unless you consider being high around others social use. Then that would be permanently the case.
Using in general as a reward l think I need, also as a means to numb out destructive emotions. Opioids make great slave drugs as I call it cause they cover lots of unfulfilled wants and needs that would rebel against continuing to function under otherwise unbearable conditions. They also freeze life in a way as they basically make me drag myself forward without being able to change anything much or get a real grip on my life.
No party drugs or stims, just downers to replace the contentment I didn't get in real life.
Been trying to withdraw/taper for months now and managed to get rid of physical addiction just two weeks ago.. I still can't stay clean and just hope I can avoid getting physically dependent again, as I don't have much resources to go through the withdrawals again...
 
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Stimulants for ADHD

Cannabinoids to give a little push, mood lift and detach from myself as I’m way to up my own ass, the utility is far wider day to day. Low or No THC, the rest appear to be far nicer to my strange brain.

Opioids for when I’m willing to play with fire, to float through the day or to sit in a dark room, chaining nicotine and scratching, listening to Nutshell on repeat and wallowing in bullshit.
 
Oohh bored as hell right now, so this seems fun to answer and I’ve been thinking abt this a lot

Drugs for me started as a personal ‘interest’ and most first times I’ve done by myself except for weed, which is the only drug I use very openly among friends. Other than that, most of my friends know or have vague suspicions of my hard drug use, have a small handful of friends I go to raves with, who I do use around.

Most of my use I’d say is daily just to function with my self destructive habits and emotions I can’t handle. It depends a bit per substance too I’d say, some like MDMA I do keep just to raving and using it with my rave friends. I often envy a lot of those people who can keep shit like speed and 3-mmc to just the weekends and forums like these are really the only places I’m fully honest about using those on a near daily basis.

I’d say I’m a pretty all-rounder drug user wise, sometimes I feel like I have multiple personas in that sense. To some I’m the casual stoner, to others the hedonistic rave creature and to myself a dysfunctional being that needs a constant stream of chemicals. Adhd and autism are probably a part of that, adhd loves the speed, autism loves anything that can numb my senses down or that makes it easier to connect with people, the way MDMA does.
 
Sp4rky said:
Oohh bored as hell right now, so this seems fun to answer and I’ve been thinking abt this a lot

Drugs for me started as a personal ‘interest’ and most first times I’ve done by myself except for weed, which is the only drug I use very openly among friends. Other than that, most of my friends know or have vague suspicions of my hard drug use, have a small handful of friends I go to raves with, who I do use around.

Most of my use I’d say is daily just to function with my self destructive habits and emotions I can’t handle. It depends a bit per substance too I’d say, some like MDMA I do keep just to raving and using it with my rave friends. I often envy a lot of those people who can keep shit like speed and 3-mmc to just the weekends and forums like these are really the only places I’m fully honest about using those on a near daily basis.

I’d say I’m a pretty all-rounder drug user wise, sometimes I feel like I have multiple personas in that sense. To some I’m the casual stoner, to others the hedonistic rave creature and to myself a dysfunctional being that needs a constant stream of chemicals. Adhd and autism are probably a part of that, adhd loves the speed, autism loves anything that can numb my senses down or that makes it easier to connect with people, the way MDMA does.
Click to expand...
I can relate to this a LOT
 
Opioids make great slave drugs as I call it cause they cover lots of unfulfilled wants and needs that would rebel against continuing to function under otherwise unbearable conditions. They also freeze life in a way as they basically make me drag myself forward without being able to change anything much or get a real grip on my life.
No party drugs or stims, just downers to replace the contentment I didn't get in real life.
Click to expand...

I totally relate to this.

I will always love opiates and I blame myself for all the pain and suffering which has come from long-term addiction. I am not saying that this 'ultimate responsibility lies with the user' way of thinking should apply to everyone (or even anyone else), because there are plenty of circumstantial differences in why people use opiates and in the amount of user agency available.

In my case, I sought opiates out and allowed them to take hold, knowing the price there was to pay. To feel "I am OK and am supposed to exist in this world" was worth the heavy price of addiction, even if the feeling was quite fleeting.

So I'm the kind of user who is trying to fill holes in their psyche. Well, that explains opiates being my DOC, but what about all the other shit I use...

Uh oh. I'm also the kind of user who is a degenerate drug fiend who likes to take a bunch of different things at once. Not sure there's any lofty, spiritual or philosophical excuse for that part:unsure:
 
Halif2 said:
I totally relate to this.

I will always love opiates and I blame myself for all the pain and suffering which has come from long-term addiction. I am not saying that this 'ultimate responsibility lies with the user' way of thinking should apply to everyone (or even anyone else), because there are plenty of circumstantial differences in why people use opiates and in the amount of user agency available.

In my case, I sought opiates out and allowed them to take hold, knowing the price there was to pay. To feel "I am OK and am supposed to exist in this world" was worth the heavy price of addiction, even if the feeling was quite fleeting.

So I'm the kind of user who is trying to fill holes in their psyche. Well, that explains opiates being my DOC, but what about all the other shit I use...

Uh oh. I'm also the kind of user who is a degenerate drug fiend who likes to take a bunch of different things at once. Not sure there's any lofty, spiritual or philosophical excuse for that part:unsure:
Click to expand...
Same here for the responsibility. I sought them, chose them - no doc ever prescribed them to me. No one else to blame... When I first came here I had this little statement attached:
"There's no excuse for my abuse.. "
Nothing changed about that.
I paid enough for my taste, now I gotta crawl back all the way..
 
Sp4rky said:
Oohh bored as hell right now, so this seems fun to answer and I’ve been thinking abt this a lot

Drugs for me started as a personal ‘interest’ and most first times I’ve done by myself except for weed, which is the only drug I use very openly among friends. Other than that, most of my friends know or have vague suspicions of my hard drug use, have a small handful of friends I go to raves with, who I do use around.

Most of my use I’d say is daily just to function with my self destructive habits and emotions I can’t handle. It depends a bit per substance too I’d say, some like MDMA I do keep just to raving and using it with my rave friends. I often envy a lot of those people who can keep shit like speed and 3-mmc to just the weekends and forums like these are really the only places I’m fully honest about using those on a near daily basis.

I’d say I’m a pretty all-rounder drug user wise, sometimes I feel like I have multiple personas in that sense. To some I’m the casual stoner, to others the hedonistic rave creature and to myself a dysfunctional being that needs a constant stream of chemicals. Adhd and autism are probably a part of that, adhd loves the speed, autism loves anything that can numb my senses down or that makes it easier to connect with people, the way MDMA does.
Click to expand...
That's me in a nutshell, horses for courses.
 
Since the last time I logged on here I have become a completely different type of drug user. About a year ago I stopped taking amphetamines after 30 years of use, I just got board of it. Surprising I was getting anything out of it at all after such a long time. I also knocked the daily poppy consumption on the head and am currently taking 2.8mg Buprenorphine daily and have not touched other opiates. I drink a lot of coffee and smoke a LOT of herbs but that is it, no desire to do anything else.
 
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