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Addict once, addict for life?

I thought I was "done" after a year sober, but one bad week and I was back on benzos. That’s when I realized I needed more than just gritting my teeth. Legacy Healing Center in New Jersey gave me therapy and relapse prevention stuff that actually stuck. Now I still get thoughts, but I know how to handle them without spiraling.
 
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I must admit I’ve never been convinced by the “once an addict, always an addict” spiel.

Anyone that knows of my ways BITD knows I went hard an literally anything and everything I could lay hands on. Usually all at the same time.

But I’ve barely touched a drug (aside from a bit of drinking, occasional puff of weed, odd psyche) in over a decade.

Don’t find it a constant struggle and don’t miss the oh-so-very heady daze of the decades prior to this last one.

I put it down to common-or-garden contentment. This last decade I’ve just found contentment. Never had that before so there was also a giant pit inside to fill. Not anymore. Life is good. I truly hope everyone can find that sooner or later ❤️

Oh, and to be clear, when I talk about “contentment” I definitely don’t mean any religious or spiritual stuff. That’s just another crutch imo…

… but a boatload of psychedelics definitely helped during the years I used them heavily and I suppose some (not I, but some) would consider those spiritual so… maybe?
 
i think some people are just naturally fucked up with their brain chemistry and drugs make life easier... it depends on the person. i could see a person really getting off on drugs for a time but realize they have some down points with the drugs and some people can get sober, get relaxed, stay healthy and not feel any temptation to go back to drugs, especially drugs with withdrawl symptoms like uppers or downers being annoying. i can definitely see getting over those... stuff like psychedelics, i see there's less reason to get over them, they aren''t really killing most people physically and some people even feel healthier with them.

i'm prettty addicted to pot. if i don't have any i don't sleep for like two days at a time for the most part. it's really a pain. i don't feel good with out it. if i didn't have natural anxiety and a sleep disorder that might even be because of my upbringing, i don't know if i'd be addicted to drugs. like some people definitely smoke weed and don't feel like they need it frequently like i do... if there were points with weed like opiates or uppers where i got sick from withdrawl, i might not be as into pot.

some times just getting over habbits can be freeing and be rewarding... i really don't know. i had a teacher in 9th grade that used to always talk about his alcoholism and why kids should never start because "once you're an alcoholic you're always an alcoholic." depends on the person really like i said.
 
Will Power I think is a bigger factor than what people probably realize, as is anything that is physically addictive and has withdrawal effects.

If you've got a strong enough Will Power and drive, yeah, you can come back to sobriety again.
Realistically speaking though, it's not that easy. You're gonna kinda fail a few times first before you succeed.
That's okay, the trick to coming back to sobriety is to just not beat yourself up over dropping the ball.
Life sucks, and sometimes shit happens that can be very traumatic and triggering.
The master has failed more times than the student, which is why he is the master in the first place.
Failure is a learning experience, being incorrect is a learning experience.
These are not actually bad things, these are good things.
The perspective that they are bad things, is the thing that is bad.
Because the key to strength and human will power is developmental endurance.
Nobody ever wakes up one day and decides they want to be an addict.
People end up there most frequently by accident.
Going back to sobriety is that exact same sequence, only in reverse.
It's actually expected that you fuck up and drop the ball a few times before you get it right.
THAT'S the learning curve.
Just as nobody ever wakes up and decides that they want to be an addict, equally, nobody ever just overnight fully returns to sobriety without any negative effects ever again thereafter, either.
It's a long hard road back, but it can absolutely be done.
My sister was an opiate addict for 13 years before I got her sober.
She does have a medical cannabis card but comparatively I am significantly less concerned about that.

So I think that it's totally possible, I just think that people need to realize that it's a practice in developmental endurance.

Withdrawals definitely do suck and are definitely a key factor in why people struggle with quitting as well.
The body doesn't like what you've done to it, but it also doesn't like you trying to change it back again, either.
Basically it's a really uncomfortable, if not painful, experience, to go through withdrawals, depending on your substance choice.

But that too is also a factor and practice of developmental endurance.

Mind Over Matter is definitely a large part of it.
When you're trying to get your life back in order against such challenges, sometimes you're even gonna feel like The Bride in the beginning of Kill Bill Vol. 1: "Wiggle your big toe."
 
Nah. I was a full-on addict, but nowadays I use on weekends when I party. Used to IV fucking everything. I was totally sober for for a few years after rehab, but after a while I was dissatisfied with my life. I didn't relapse, but instead made a decision to use again.

I stay away from opioids, benzos, GHB... well, most drugs actually. All I'll touch these days is weed, speed, psychedelics, and occasionally coke or ketamine.
 
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Psychonauticunt said:
Nah. I was a full-on addict, but nowadays I use on weekends when I party. Used to IV fucking everything. I was totally sober for for a few years after rehab, but after a while I was dissatisfied with my life. I didn't relapse, but instead made a decision to use again.

I stay away from opioids, benzos, GHB... well, most drugs actually. All I'll touch these days is weed, speed, psychedelics, and occasionally coke or ketamine. And no needles either.
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That's one way to look at it and I'm not saying you're mistaken in any way whatsoever, but then the root impulse of that decision could be neural-pathway style nudging (ie it appears to be a free decision made by us but is actually just addiction coming through in disguise or at least making a play)

Sounds like you've really got a handle on things though either way, bravo. Keep your boundaries innit, vital in your situation (my own scenario has more than a hint of yours btw)
 
ageingpartyfiend said:
That's one way to look at it and I'm not saying you're mistaken in any way whatsoever, but then the root impulse of that decision could be neural-pathway style nudging (ie it appears to be a free decision made by us but is actually just addiction coming through in disguise or at least making a play)

Sounds like you've really got a handle on things though either way, bravo. Keep your boundaries innit, vital in your situation (my own scenario has more than a hint of yours btw)
Click to expand...

I've been using with my current regimen and limits for a good... 3 and a half years now? Had a few slip-ups, nothing dramatic, but crossed the line I had set for myself... and corrected my course.

If the addict in me is playing me, then it's one hell of a long con.
 
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