Addiction 12 step meetings

[AngelsandFairiesarereal]

I get that.
Recovering people (the good ones, not the predators) want to help & want you to feel welcome. They know how it is to feel lost & afraid & how it's hard to ask for help. I assure you that most of us have good intentions.

Gracias for your kindness, I really appreciate it

 

[pixies+]

@jasperkent @NY2soFlo
I think you’d both agree when I say the step work is crucial. It’s what the entire program is based on.
Attending meetings is a great step in the right direction. Doing and continuing the step work is what helped heal my spiritual malady..

I’m no ‘expert’ and I hope I haven’t come across as someone who’s got it all figured out because I absolutely do not.
If anyone reading this feels that way, just go read some of my other posts from the last year..

I’ve been white knuckling and holding on for dear life for waaaayyyyyy too long now.

Everything I’ve said in this thread is also me reminding myself that I need to get my ass back to the rooms again

I’ve had a battle of ‘I need meetings vs I don’t need meetings to help me stay sober’ going on since I stopped going in late 2021.
I blamed Covid.. but online meetings became a thing. I chose not to like them and to wait for ‘proper’ in person meetings to open back up. Those two sentences alone were warning signs I was well on my way to a relapse.
One in January 2022 that lasted several days, and again in July 2022 for 6 months.
That didn’t come from ‘nowhere’ like I used to believe lol

Addiction and Recovery isn’t a one size fits all type of thing. What worked for me may not work for someone else and vice versa. I’d encourage anyone that loses complete control of their lives due to drink or drug use to check out the 12 steps.

I was willing to do anything to get fucked up.
Now I’m willing to do whatever it takes to not get fucked up and feel calm, patient, and content.

 

[Deleted member 585202]

@AngelsandFairiesarereal You should go to AA. I don't think you would feel that comfortable in NA, but only you can answer that.

Meetings are really good for me. I often don't feel like going due to laziness and social anxiety, but I push myself to go and the meetings are over before you know it. I ALWAYS feel better after a meeting. Always. I have never left a meeting feeling worse or the same mood. It really helps in several ways. The key is to just find the right meeting you feel good in. They're all different.

I always leave meetings feeling more confident, more hopeful, less depressed, less stressed, less triggers, and ultimately stronger.

I think it would be good for you ,NA in my town was so hardcore but AA was great.Have you ever been to meetings?

NA meetings are always like that all over the place in every state I've been to. I generally like to think of them as "spicy" AA meetings. They are more hardcore, but not in a bad way really, more in a weird/silly/stronger group traditions ways... and the people are usually a bit more "spicy", too. More clapping, more shouting out traditions and prayers, etc.

I've started to go to DAA meetings (Drug Addicts Anonymous). They're relatively new, they only have a couple in Charlotte right now. But I really enjoy them. The vibe is sort of a mix of AA and NA, but closer to AA, and they use the AA book not the NA book. Worth checking out.

 

[NY2soFlo]

I always leave meetings feeling more confident, more hopeful, less depressed, less stressed, less triggers, and ultimately stronger.

^Same. Some meetings more than others, but I think my mindset going into them has just as much to do with the content of the meeting.

I think you’d both agree when I say the step work is crucial. It’s what the entire program is based on.
Attending meetings is a great step in the right direction. Doing and continuing the step work is what helped heal my spiritual malady..

Any time I've had significant clean/sober time it's been from jumping into it with both feet. Going to meetings often, everyday even (90 in 90), getting a sponsor, a homegroup, doing some type of service (eventually), and making sure I get rolling with stepwork ASAP. For that reason, I've usually had better results in AA since we've typically moved through the steps faster. Just seeing the same people every few days is nice too- whether they have time or not, its a support group.

 

[jasperkent]

I was willing to do anything to get fucked up.
Now I’m willing to do whatever it takes to not get fucked up and feel calm, patient, and content.

Excellent point.

I've heard it said that the only times you really need to attend meetings is on days you feel like you need it and on days you're sure that you don't.

I heard of a guy who had 20+ years of sobriety who went to 5 meetings per week. Somebody asked him if he really needed to go to that many.
He said No, I only need about one a week.
They asked Then why go to five if you only need one?
He answered Because I don't know ahead of time which one I'll need.

 

[jasperkent]

I ALWAYS feel better after a meeting.

Same.
I've often had to force myself to go, but I've never regretted having gone.

 

[Deleted member 585202]

I've often had to force myself to go, but I've never regretted having gone.

100%

 

[AngelsandFairiesarereal]

Muchas gracias amores
When I stop hurting so much I’m going to go, I will bring you guys in pocket with BL on my phone

I’m scared … which is kind of ridiculous when I think of all the dangerous hoods I’ve lived in, been shot at & other violence … and other stuff I won’t write as I’m not tryin’ to traumatize y’all. But the fact that I’d be fine walking down the block in the worsts ghetto at 3am but terrified to go to a meeting is so weird. I guess the biggest battles is facing yourself & your demons. I don’t know if what I’m saying makes sense

Anyways sending you love if you’re reading this

 

[pixies+]

Muchas gracias amores
When I stop hurting so much I’m going to go, I will bring you guys in pocket with BL on my phone

I’m scared … which is kind of ridiculous when I think of all the dangerous hoods I’ve lived in, been shot at & other violence … and other stuff I won’t write as I’m not tryin’ to traumatize y’all. But the fact that I’d be fine walking down the block in the worsts ghetto at 3am but terrified to go to a meeting is so weird. I guess the biggest battles is facing yourself & your demons. I don’t know if what I’m saying makes sense

Anyways sending you love if you’re reading this

That doesn’t sound ridiculous at all.

That’s what you knew.. your body has been in fight/flight mode for yearrrrsss. It’s what makes sense to you. You’ve been used to chaos your entire life. Even though you crave stability, it’s something that needs to be relearned. Eventually, your nervous system will calm down and things will begin to make sense in a way they never did.

I know you’re not new to this stuff. Personally, I find it soothing to get reassurance from others who understand what it’s like to live in the dark and are now only willing to invite the light in.
Going from chaos to peace is challenging but so worth it.

I can’t lie and say I’m there yet. I’m still very much in fight/flight mode too. But I’m choosing to aim higher than I ever did. Little eyes are watching me.

You’ve got a lot of love going your way. Don’t ever forget that

 

[jasperkent]

I’m scared … which is kind of ridiculous when I think of all the dangerous hoods I’ve lived in, been shot at & other violence …

You're not the first (nor the last) to have this fear and to feel it despite seeing the paradoxical absurdity of it.

I sure did-- and most of the folks you'll meet in the rooms will have felt exactly the same way at one time.

It's all good.
You'll be fine.