Mental Health Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v. 10

[Invegatorture]

So you think your drug psychosis that caused you to be shot didn't add anything to it?

Yes.

 

[YogirisingKundalini]

Cannabis does not cause psychosis. People who say it does because of their ancedotal experiences are mentally ill.

LoL tell that to people who experienced hell realm after 100mcg THC edible. I live marijuana but they made IT too psychoactive and not everyone can stand that. That's a fact. Stop spreading misinformation

 

[demileigh]

I was also on risperdal and invega to. Fuck them both. Abilify actually fucked with my sleep as think i had mild akathisia on it. Glad it works for you though





I gained alot of weight on invega and abilify. Pre invega i was pretty skinny at about 160lbs before i went in the hospital as i lost weight when i was psychotic as i asent eatingat all. When i was put on invega though (after 3 long months of no meds and being psychotic but thats a other story) i gained weight very quickly. The shitty psych ward food and all the takeout i ate in the psych ward did not help. I was drinking a few slush puppies a day, drinking pepsi all day, eating the shitty carb ladden psych ward food and also eating takeout from mcdonalds or dominos every night.

I went from 225lbs when i came off abilify to 170lbs about a year after comin off it. I actually got to skinny for awile when i was on latuda as eating was hard on it. When i was put on zyprexa i started lifting weights as i was determined not to put on weight. It worked pretty good as i am now in the best shape of my life. Im about 210lbs of mostly muscle now i never thought i would be in that kind of shape

In Australia we use kilograms so I had to convert lbs to kgs to understand how much you were saying I wasn’t eating or sleeping leading up to my last grippy sock vacation so I’d say that had a lot to do with me losing my shit and also has me making sure I eat now even though I have a bad appetite, focusing on getting enough sleep too. I had a short stay in the psych ward in nov 2023 too and they released me straight out of PICU, pretty sure I wasn’t stable but anyway, weaned myself off abilify pills that time and didn’t manage to gain weight, also weaned myself off olanzipine after being in hospital back in 2016 after going up 2 dress sizes then I never really lost that weight but that might be because I ended up having a baby. I’m honestly hoping invega weight drops with daily walks and eating minimally cause I havent got the energy or motivation to gym at this point and more concerned about not ending back up in the psych ward than my weight cause fuck that place.

Pretty solid that you’ve built all that muscle up and are in the best shape you’ve ever been in, inspiring really. Good that you’ve found a med that works for you too

 

[rawbanana]

You can and will get through this. I’m struggling a bit with the weight gain too, I lost stubborn weight between 2023-2024 when I was smoking tonnes of weed to cope with grief but have since gained some of that weight back from the invega and I tell you now, I had a lot more confidence being a similar weight to I am now than what I have now… it’s like whatever confidence and self love I once had has been stripped and I’m scared to take any other medication cause I don’t want to gain anymore weight and feel even more crap about how I look. Try to be gentle with yourself, your mind and body have gone through a lot maybe get yourself some new clothes that compliment your new body shape and take yourself out for a coffee or juice or something, learning to love yourself again can be a struggle but you deserve that love.

Thank you for saying that I spent all of my life looking a certain way and now my body looks much different and I don’t know how to feel confident like this. It’s just another thing to add on to the list of losses.

I was in psychosis before this happened and I can’t really remember what normal feels like. I just want normal again. I don’t want to go back into psychosis either… I feel like my brain is my worst enemy at this point. Trying not to think about suicide but it’s hard. Sometimes it feels like my only option.

 

[paranoid android]

In Australia we use kilograms so I had to convert lbs to kgs to understand how much you were saying I wasn’t eating or sleeping leading up to my last grippy sock vacation so I’d say that had a lot to do with me losing my shit and also has me making sure I eat now even though I have a bad appetite, focusing on getting enough sleep too. I had a short stay in the psych ward in nov 2023 too and they released me straight out of PICU, pretty sure I wasn’t stable but anyway, weaned myself off abilify pills that time and didn’t manage to gain weight, also weaned myself off olanzipine after being in hospital back in 2016 after going up 2 dress sizes then I never really lost that weight but that might be because I ended up having a baby. I’m honestly hoping invega weight drops with daily walks and eating minimally cause I havent got the energy or motivation to gym at this point and more concerned about not ending back up in the psych ward than my weight cause fuck that place.

Pretty solid that you’ve built all that muscle up and are in the best shape you’ve ever been in, inspiring really. Good that you’ve found a med that works for you too

How bad is the psych ward there? Here it was pretty bad but it was kushy compared to what public ones in the US are like. We atleast had cigs, weed and takeout. In the US you arent allowed anything and unlike here they actually care i you smoke weed or cigs there. And you arent allowed any takeout in the US public psych wards. Lime wtf is it priso. It's basicaly a prison by any other name. Foucault would have alot to say about that.

I cant believe the shape im in now. I went from curling 25lbs dumbbells about 2 and a half years ago to curling 135lbs barbells now. And i put on about 40 or 50lbs of muscle. I cant believe how skinny i was sometimes in the past though. I saw a picture of me just before i went psychotic or when i was already kind of psychotic im not sure and i was so skinny! Fuck that ill take the shape im in now where m in shape wth tiny bit f a belly. I like my dr.pepper and beer to much lol

 

[demileigh]

Thank you for saying that I spent all of my life looking a certain way and now my body looks much different and I don’t know how to feel confident like this. It’s just another thing to add on to the list of losses.

I was in psychosis before this happened and I can’t really remember what normal feels like. I just want normal again. I don’t want to go back into psychosis either… I feel like my brain is my worst enemy at this point. Trying not to think about suicide but it’s hard. Sometimes it feels like my only option.

You’re welcome it can be such a challenge to adjust to a new weight but just take one step at a time and you’ll get there. Googling what you can do to build up self confidence and then trying out different things can go a long way… you just got to trust the process, beauty isn’t skin deep anyway, it’s what’s in the inside that counts the most.

If you can’t remember what normal is that’s okay, this just means you can create a new normal based on self love and self care, make sure you’re looking after yourself by showering and brushing your teeth, eat healthy food, make sure you’re getting vitamin D from the sun or from supplements or both! Everytime your brain is being an ass and thinking about suicide, gently tell your brain to stop being nasty to you and find something to distract yourself by going for a walk, paint nails, listen to music, get creative, take a nap or just drink some water and flush out your system... try out different things and find what works best for you I’ve learnt to not trust my brain when it’s being mean to me cause you’re right, sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. Just take each day as it comes or if it that bad just take each moment as it comes. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you’re safe, tell yourself that you’re enough and that you’re beautiful just the way you are xoxo

 

[Matthew01]

I severely hate this new normal

 

[demileigh]

How bad is the psych ward there? Here it was pretty bad but it was kushy compared to what public ones in the US are like. We atleast had cigs, weed and takeout. In the US you arent allowed anything and unlike here they actually care i you smoke weed or cigs there. And you arent allowed any takeout in the US public psych wards. Lime wtf is it priso. It's basicaly a prison by any other name. Foucault would have alot to say about that.

I cant believe the shape im in now. I went from curling 25lbs dumbbells about 2 and a half years ago to curling 135lbs barbells now. And i put on about 40 or 50lbs of muscle. I cant believe how skinny i was sometimes in the past though. I saw a picture of me just before i went psychotic or when i was already kind of psychotic im not sure and i was so skinny! Fuck that ill take the shape im in now where m in shape wth tiny bit f a belly. I like my dr.pepper and beer to much lol

Well over the years the psych ward moved around and got better like check this out https://www.facebook.com/share/v/19YbGtARX1/?mibextid=wwXIfr that’s where I was for my last stay and was one of the first people to enter the new building. Us patients were smoking/ vaping and getting along pretty well for the most part but some guys got a bit weird with me so I do think they should separate males and females… the hospital is on the waterfront and I had 4 hours a day leave so I would spend time down at the water or going home to see my son. It was just hard being away from my son to be honest and couldn’t stand how uncomfortable the beds were and how cold the rooms were… hated how nurses and doctors don’t listen to a word you say like one of the doctors asked me if I heard voices which I replied no and then he was like so yes with a grin on his face and I was like NO! Twisted as fuck.

Oi yeah I know what you mean, some of the images of me before ending up in hospital are terrible, so unhealthily skinny… I was always on the lean side but when I’m sick I tend to be a bit too skinny. Fucking awesome that you built yourself up like that and that you’re confident in yourself. I’d love to lift weights but I wouldn’t even know where to start or how to do it properly lol

 

[paranoid android]

Well over the years the psych ward moved around and got better like check this out https://www.facebook.com/share/v/19YbGtARX1/?mibextid=wwXIfr that’s where I was for my last stay and was one of the first people to enter the new building. Us patients were smoking/ vaping and getting along pretty well for the most part but some guys got a bit weird with me so I do think they should separate males and females… the hospital is on the waterfront and I had 4 hours a day leave so I would spend time down at the water or going home to see my son. It was just hard being away from my son to be honest and couldn’t stand how uncomfortable the beds were and how cold the rooms were… hated how nurses and doctors don’t listen to a word you say like one of the doctors asked me if I heard voices which I replied no and then he was like so yes with a grin on his face and I was like NO! Twisted as fuck.

Oi yeah I know what you mean, some of the images of me before ending up in hospital are terrible, so unhealthily skinny… I was always on the lean side but when I’m sick I tend to be a bit too skinny. Fucking awesome that you built yourself up like that and that you’re confident in yourself. I’d love to lift weights but I wouldn’t even know where to start or how to do it properly lol

Funny that you say that because our psych ward here just got moved to a new building to. The old one that i was n had been there since the victorian era ffs. It was so hot there when i was there and no ac at all in the wh.le buildng. However the building wasent the main problem it w the people working there. One example of how useles the system is that they will have 10 nurses working at night yet not one of them can prescribe anything! They have to wait until the doctor comes in in the morning to prescribe anythng. Why not instead of having 10 nurses on who do nothing instead have maybe 2 doctors there at night? Or even 1 ffs!

I had absolutely 0 access to medication when i was in there. I was forced to cold turkey 150mg's of morphine ad 6mg's of clonazepam a day. That litterally could have killed me but somehow didnt. I dont die easy i guess. When say 0 access to meds i mean 0. You arent even allowed basic otc meds for wd like loeramide, paracetamol or nurophen. I felt ,like i was dying from opiate and benzo wd and they wouldnt even give me loperamide ffs or a nurophen. The only time i got drugs in there was the few times my mom brought me some clonazepam and my brother would bring me weed. I dont think i as able to go to the store myself for awile because the wd's i had where to bad. I cant really remember that to well

 

[paranoid android]

I think it's a good thing having men and women in the same ward imo. Having sokme estrogen in that sea of testosterone helps keep the fight down imo. A fellow BLer on here was in a few psych wards where they segregated the sexes and he said there was way more fights in the segregates onwes.

I dont remember any guys getting creepy towards the women at our psych ward. I have heard stories of it happening on here though. I just think when you start segregating people that things start getting fucked up

 

[demileigh]

Funny that you say that because our psych ward here just got moved to a new building to. The old one that i was n had been there since the victorian era ffs. It was so hot there when i was there and no ac at all in the wh.le buildng. However the building wasent the main problem it w the people working there. One example of how useles the system is that they will have 10 nurses working at night yet not one of them can prescribe anything! They have to wait until the doctor comes in in the morning to prescribe anythng. Why not instead of having 10 nurses on who do nothing instead have maybe 2 doctors there at night? Or even 1 ffs!

I had absolutely 0 access to medication when i was in there. I was forced to cold turkey 150mg's of morphine ad 6mg's of clonazepam a day. That litterally could have killed me but somehow didnt. I dont die easy i guess. When say 0 access to meds i mean 0. You arent even allowed basic otc meds for wd like loeramide, paracetamol or nurophen. I felt ,like i was dying from opiate and benzo wd and they wouldnt even give me loperamide ffs or a nurophen. The only time i got drugs in there was the few times my mom brought me some clonazepam and my brother would bring me weed. I dont think i as able to go to the store myself for awile because the wd's i had where to bad. I cant really remember that to well

Wow that sounds fucking awful, I guess Australian standards are pretty decent… all they do in there is feed you drugs then if you don’t take the drugs and lose your shit they force inject you. My first stay I was chucked in a padded cell in PICU and security came in and restrained me while one of the nurses injected me with hell knows what, to be fair I was going off my tree about some crazy shit and was probably terrorizing the unit.
My second stay the seclusion room was just a mat on the floor with a screen with like ocean animals or birds playing on it then for the third stay there wasn’t a seclusion room at all but they had like a sensory room that you could go into and chill in so I guess they’ve pretty much taken a trauma informed care approach cause fuck padded cells are inhumane and probably fuck people’s heads up even more.
Insane that you survived that hey! Humans are pretty sturdy creatures but wd from opiates and benzos would be a whole other level of hell compared to coming off invega. Glad you’re here to tell the tale

 

[Matthew01]

Imagine this. Other people living happily while you're just emotionless and joyless. Imagine suffering for nothing. I've never even done drugs even my life. My situation is messed up.

 

[demileigh]

I think it's a good thing having men and women in the same ward imo. Having sokme estrogen in that sea of testosterone helps keep the fight down imo. A fellow BLer on here was in a few psych wards where they segregated the sexes and he said there was way more fights in the segregates onwes.

I dont remember any guys getting creepy towards the women at our psych ward. I have heard stories of it happening on here though. I just think when you start segregating people that things start getting fucked up

Well a guy I knew ended up in the same unit as me and it was good to see a familiar face but then another guy that was in there that liked me starting getting weird and jealous about how well we were getting along, no fights broke out but it could have easily escalated to that. Then there were people having sex too so that made me think it would probably be best to separate everybody, some of the females were really unwell and vulnerable so it does make me wonder how safe it is

 

[paranoid android]

Well a guy I knew ended up in the same unit as me and it was good to see a familiar face but then another guy that was in there that liked me starting getting weird and jealous about how well we were getting along, no fights broke out but it could have easily escalated to that. Then there were people having sex too so that made me think it would probably be best to separate everybody, some of the females were really unwell and vulnerable so it does make me wonder how safe it i

Ya it wasent like that n our unit at all. One time though was sitting down watchng tv and this woman came over and grabbed me by the dick lol. I honestly didnt know what to do was like wtf. I was not in the mood at all because i was on invega. Also because she just randomly grabbed me by the dick lol. Someone wanted to tell the shrink on her but i didnt want her to end up in solitary over it so i told him to shut his mouth. He told her anyway but when she asked me about it i said it didnt happen. I aint no snitch.

 

[paranoid android]

Wow that sounds fucking awful, I guess Australian standards are pretty decent… all they do in there is feed you drugs then if you don’t take the drugs and lose your shit they force inject you. My first stay I was chucked in a padded cell in PICU and security came in and restrained me while one of the nurses injected me with hell knows what, to be fair I was going off my tree about some crazy shit and was probably terrorizing the unit.
My second stay the seclusion room was just a mat on the floor with a screen with like ocean animals or birds playing on it then for the third stay there wasn’t a seclusion room at all but they had like a sensory room that you could go into and chill in so I guess they’ve pretty much taken a trauma informed care approach cause fuck padded cells are inhumane and probably fuck people’s heads up even more.
Insane that you survived that hey! Humans are pretty sturdy creatures but wd from opiates and benzos would be a whole other level of hell compared to coming off invega. Glad you’re here to tell the tale

Ya i was thrown in solitary about 6 times total maybe more lol. It's got to be some kind of record. I would get denied the right to get meds or something and would freak lout and punch security and get thrown in solitary. The first night i was there a doctor told me that he wasent going to give me any meds so i punched him in the face and knocked him to the floor. When they threw me in solitary they injected me with what ws likely lorazepam. It wasent a antipsychotic or a good benzo because it didnt stop my psychosis at all. I was psychotic for 3 months because they denied me any meds

 

[rawbanana]

You’re welcome it can be such a challenge to adjust to a new weight but just take one step at a time and you’ll get there. Googling what you can do to build up self confidence and then trying out different things can go a long way… you just got to trust the process, beauty isn’t skin deep anyway, it’s what’s in the inside that counts the most.

If you can’t remember what normal is that’s okay, this just means you can create a new normal based on self love and self care, make sure you’re looking after yourself by showering and brushing your teeth, eat healthy food, make sure you’re getting vitamin D from the sun or from supplements or both! Everytime your brain is being an ass and thinking about suicide, gently tell your brain to stop being nasty to you and find something to distract yourself by going for a walk, paint nails, listen to music, get creative, take a nap or just drink some water and flush out your system... try out different things and find what works best for you I’ve learnt to not trust my brain when it’s being mean to me cause you’re right, sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. Just take each day as it comes or if it that bad just take each moment as it comes. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you’re safe, tell yourself that you’re enough and that you’re beautiful just the way you are xoxo

i will do my best thank you for the kind words…

I had a lot of dreams in my life so I’m very sad I didn’t get to achieve them. And I feel like with this hit I am definitely going to have to accept the damage and just move forward. Even if I never recover my full expansive mind I may just keep living for the sake of life. I’m going to see everyone become successful around me while I stay stuck. And I probably will never have a good job or get one because I’m not educated and don’t have work experience. I probably won’t be a successful artist like i wanted because I don’t feel passion for art anymore either. I’ll probably live with my parents forever. It’s just kind of sad to face that reality.

 

[rawbanana]

I think I am going to to live just to see if God is real

 

[demileigh]

Ya i was thrown in solitary about 6 times total maybe more lol. It's got to be some kind of record. I would get denied the right to get meds or something and would freak lout and punch security and get thrown in solitary. The first night i was there a doctor told me that he wasent going to give me any meds so i punched him in the face and knocked him to the floor. When they threw me in solitary they injected me with what ws likely lorazepam. It wasent a antipsychotic or a good benzo because it didnt stop my psychosis at all. I was psychotic for 3 months because they denied me any meds

Thats pretty cruel to deny someone medication when they need to be stabilized like wouldn’t it make their job harder to not medicate someone in psychosis… sounds like you had one hell of an experience.

 

[demileigh]

i will do my best thank you for the kind words…

I had a lot of dreams in my life so I’m very sad I didn’t get to achieve them. And I feel like with this hit I am definitely going to have to accept the damage and just move forward. Even if I never recover my full expansive mind I may just keep living for the sake of life. I’m going to see everyone become successful around me while I stay stuck. And I probably will never have a good job or get one because I’m not educated and don’t have work experience. I probably won’t be a successful artist like i wanted because I don’t feel passion for art anymore either. I’ll probably live with my parents forever. It’s just kind of sad to face that reality.

No worries.

Many people still manage to live beautiful lives even after losing years to things like trauma, abuse and mental health so don’t get down on yourself. You never know what the future holds unless you’re here to find out. You could totally still be an artist, just because you don’t have the passion right now, that doesn’t mean it won’t come back… maybe that’s something you could do as a part of your recovery journey, find ways to express yourself through art and let it be your outlet… no doubt this level of struggle and pain could be a driving force behind creating some amazing art

 

[Littana]

But i took 300 mg and its ultra recreational dose. You will love IT and nothing bad will happen to you just longterm IT will lose efficiency so its better to dose correctly

gotta hop in here and say, well.. i know multiple people who has gone psychotic on pregab wd´s ... also tolerance to it rises REALLY fast.... pls dont tell people to take random drugs just cos u got high from them....