Didn’t even know if I should post this… but f*ck it.
Today’s one of those days where everything feels heavy. Yesterday I had a great roll, felt good, felt clear. But today? My mind’s in a fog. That’s how it is when you’ve battled depression—it creeps in outta nowhere and hits you hard.
What really gets to me is the stuff happening at home. The woman I had a kid with—someone I thought would always have my back—makes me feel like I’m not even human sometimes. Tells me to get out of her house like I’m trash. But what hurts the deepest is when she looks our daughter in the face and says, “Your drug addict dad has to go.”
Like, one—why are you saying that to our little girl? She’s just a kid. And two—I’ve been through hell and made it out. I battled opiate addiction for 4–5 years. That sh*t had a chokehold on my life. I overdosed and died three times in one night on fentanyl back when I was using. And by some miracle, I’m still here. Breathing. Trying.
And through it all, my little girl still loves me. So much. And I love her with everything I have. She’s my reason for fighting.
But her mom—the same woman who watched me fight my way back from the edge—acts like none of that matters. She refuses to acknowledge how far I’ve come. Every chance she gets, she tears me down. Says I’m still a piece of sh*t addict. Says that’s all I’ll ever be. Even tells me sometimes she hopes I overdose and die.
I know some people might read this and brush it off. Might think I’m being dramatic. But to me, this sh*t hurts. Deep. And I’m just trying to stay strong. Keep my head up.
If any of you would like to inbox me and talk about this so I can get some of these feelings out, let me know—and vice versa. If you’re going through something and need to vent too, I’m here.
Still here. Still standing. Still thankful for every breath.
What are you holding on to today?
Today’s one of those days where everything feels heavy. Yesterday I had a great roll, felt good, felt clear. But today? My mind’s in a fog. That’s how it is when you’ve battled depression—it creeps in outta nowhere and hits you hard.
What really gets to me is the stuff happening at home. The woman I had a kid with—someone I thought would always have my back—makes me feel like I’m not even human sometimes. Tells me to get out of her house like I’m trash. But what hurts the deepest is when she looks our daughter in the face and says, “Your drug addict dad has to go.”
Like, one—why are you saying that to our little girl? She’s just a kid. And two—I’ve been through hell and made it out. I battled opiate addiction for 4–5 years. That sh*t had a chokehold on my life. I overdosed and died three times in one night on fentanyl back when I was using. And by some miracle, I’m still here. Breathing. Trying.
And through it all, my little girl still loves me. So much. And I love her with everything I have. She’s my reason for fighting.
But her mom—the same woman who watched me fight my way back from the edge—acts like none of that matters. She refuses to acknowledge how far I’ve come. Every chance she gets, she tears me down. Says I’m still a piece of sh*t addict. Says that’s all I’ll ever be. Even tells me sometimes she hopes I overdose and die.
I know some people might read this and brush it off. Might think I’m being dramatic. But to me, this sh*t hurts. Deep. And I’m just trying to stay strong. Keep my head up.
If any of you would like to inbox me and talk about this so I can get some of these feelings out, let me know—and vice versa. If you’re going through something and need to vent too, I’m here.
Still here. Still standing. Still thankful for every breath.
What are you holding on to today?
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be safe,be well,be happy as much as u can
