Recovery

[Kurt Cobain]

Just need some encouragement to keep going. This weeks been a bitch but I made it sober but I got some opiates I been hanging onto in case shit got to bad or something came up and I had to be fully functional and while the physical shit is mostly over I'm so fucking bored depressed and anxious, anyway ya the urge to use right now is pretty severe trying to fight back and just smoke some herb but yall know how it goes. What helped yall deal with these issues? I exercise regularly and work a pretty physically demanding job on top of that and idk hard to do anything right now

 

[Psychlone Jack]

Just need some encouragement to keep going. This weeks been a bitch but I made it sober but I got some opiates I been hanging onto in case shit got to bad or something came up and I had to be fully functional and while the physical shit is mostly over I'm so fucking bored depressed and anxious, anyway ya the urge to use right now is pretty severe trying to fight back and just smoke some herb but yall know how it goes. What helped yall deal with these issues? I exercise regularly and work a pretty physically demanding job on top of that and idk hard to do anything right now

Well, obviously there are reservations with the hanging onto reserve opiates, if you're really dedicated to stopping totally I would absolutely remove the temptation altogether by getting rid of them. Not trying to sound hardline at all, that's just what I would have to do for me. For me when the only things I knew in the world were that I didn't want to use and that I didn't know what to do otherwise, I would have to clean house and occupy my time with work, professional or domestic, busy work just to keep my mind from straying. Weed is my go to, marijuana maintenence program and all that, but if I want something a bit more sedating, I go for alcohol. Or non chemical solutions, sometimes I opt to just get outside, go out for a hike or some other activity, even if just a miles-long introspective trek.

 

[Púca Rebellion]

I don't really buy into the treatment narritive. It's a way of weaponizing shame IMO. "You're sick, you need help." "You should change yourself because we think you should". Then everyone has permission to look down on you for being a "junkie", if you don't follow the social cues. I've gone on, and off opoids many times. I'm comfortable with myself, my choices, and unashamed of my opiate use.

That said. If you think going off opiates will improve your quality of life you should definitely follow your intuition. And I 100% support your choice. I just hope you decide based on your own needs, and not someone elses wants.

 

[Kurt Cobain]

Well, obviously there are reservations with the hanging onto reserve opiates, if you're really dedicated to stopping totally I would absolutely remove the temptation altogether by getting rid of them. Not trying to sound hardline at all, that's just what I would have to do for me. For me when the only things I knew in the world were that I didn't want to use and that I didn't know what to do otherwise, I would have to clean house and occupy my time with work, professional or domestic, busy work just to keep my mind from straying. Weed is my go to, marijuana maintenence program and all that, but if I want something a bit more sedating, I go for alcohol. Or non chemical solutions, sometimes I opt to just get outside, go out for a hike or some other activity, even if just a miles-long introspective trek.

Nah I know I should probably toss em, in a weird way though I think it makes things a bit easier in the sense it gives me comfort knowing it's there if shit gets to bad, I know backwards ass thinking haha. It's hard getting myself to do anything other than work. I know it's about forcing myself it's just incredibly hard right now, nothing is interesting straight up some wicked anehdonia and that's always been the hardest part about quitting. I did think about going back to the doc and getting back on my stimulants for ADD (never had an issue with stims in fact I quit taking my meds years ago bc I really don't like stimulants very much at all?) figured they might help with the depression and motivation, yall think that's a solid idea?

 

[Kurt Cobain]

I don't really buy into the treatment narritive. It's a way of weaponizing shame IMO. "You're sick, you need help." "You should change yourself because we think you should". Then everyone has permission to look down on you for being a "junkie", if you don't follow the social cues. I've gone on, and off opoids many times. I'm comfortable with myself, my choices, and unashamed of my opiate use.

That said. If you think going off opiates will improve your quality of life you should definitely follow your intuition. And I 100% support your choice. I just hope you decide based on your own needs, and not someone elses wants.

Nah opiates are great and all they just loose their touch after awhile and the positive begin to be negatives. I should sober up for a bit. I would like to feel something other than depressed and numb

 

[Psychlone Jack]

Nah I know I should probably toss em, in a weird way though I think it makes things a bit easier in the sense it gives me comfort knowing it's there if shit gets to bad, I know backwards ass thinking haha. It's hard getting myself to do anything other than work. I know it's about forcing myself it's just incredibly hard right now, nothing is interesting straight up some wicked anehdonia and that's always been the hardest part about quitting. I did think about going back to the doc and getting back on my stimulants for ADD (never had an issue with stims in fact I quit taking my meds years ago bc I really don't like stimulants very much at all?) figured they might help with the depression and motivation, yall think that's a solid idea?

Okay so flip side I could see having the backstash providing some sort of solace, but also too in the past I've done similar, holding onto ______ whatever I was trying to be moderate with and issuing myself a challenge of short-term abstinence. Mixed success on that lol, depends a lot of course on my current headspace and reasons and the substance itself, but my best bet if I'm serious about it is to just not have whatever substance around.

There is a good bit of data supporting the use of adhd meds, sometimes in conjunction with other meds such as ssri's in the treatment of depression, and if you get lucky and get a really sympathetic doctor, for opioid taper/post-MAT fatigue and lethargy/PAWS-related depression. Especially seeing as stims aren't an issue of abuse for you, would be worth a shot I'd think.

 

[Kurt Cobain]

Okay so flip side I could see having the backstash providing some sort of solace, but also too in the past I've done similar, holding onto ______ whatever I was trying to be moderate with and issuing myself a challenge of short-term abstinence. Mixed success on that lol, depends a lot of course on my current headspace and reasons and the substance itself, but my best bet if I'm serious about it is to just not have whatever substance around.

There is a good bit of data supporting the use of adhd meds, sometimes in conjunction with other meds such as ssri's in the treatment of depression, and if you get lucky and get a really sympathetic doctor, for opioid taper/post-MAT fatigue and lethargy/PAWS-related depression. Especially seeing as stims aren't an issue of abuse for you, would be worth a shot I'd think.

I can't talk to a doctor about this, if I let it be known that I've struggled with opiates they're going to assume I struggle with everything then I won't be able to get my ADD meds I've been on and off of for 10+ years, yall know how these doctors are now. I got to find a new doctor since I moved and that's really disheartening bc finding a good doctor that listens is super hard these days and I really liked my old doctor, no side eye or weird vibes jusy a good guy who genuinely wanted to help and now I gotta start that search again.

 

[Dispatchick17]

I can't talk to a doctor about this, if I let it be known that I've struggled with opiates they're going to assume I struggle with everything then I won't be able to get my ADD meds I've been on and off of for 10+ years, yall know how these doctors are now. I got to find a new doctor since I moved and that's really disheartening bc finding a good doctor that listens is super hard these days and I really liked my old doctor, no side eye or weird vibes jusy a good guy who genuinely wanted to help and now I gotta start that search again.

How ya doing? Jw how it's all going.

 

[Kurt Cobain]

How ya doing? Jw how it's all going.

Not great man.. I had a month clean off everything besides weed and relapsed on the 7oh again. It's so hard when it's right next to the cash register with bright kid like packaging catching your eye with names like dopium and perks but again it's not the drugs fault or the stores, it's mine. I'm trying to detox this weekend but worried come Monday, a day and a half ain't really a lot of time to detox and while I did grab a few subs to taper down off of they do NOT touch my 7oh habit at all, even at large doses so I'm basically going to be fucked and worried I'm going to have to call off and risk them firing me, they're real sticklers with attendance. It's a shit show to be honest and debating on just staying on the 7oh for one more week and try to detox next weekend when I don't have so many responsibilities but at this current moment im doing my damndest to not take them pills and still with the detox and embrace the suck at work but my job is extremely physically demanding idk man I just don't know backs at the wall and a bullet to the head or a belly full of benzos and opiates to finish me off seems like a real good option. Thank you for checking in and I'm sorry for rambling, I'm a mess right now and brain is all over the place. I do need to get back on my stimulants though, it's prevent a lot of my issues and relapses, at least shown so in the past when I managed to make 4 years clean again besides weed and my daily prescribed stimulants taken exactly as directed aside from me forgetting to take them often and skipping doses lol