Lost Heroin - More Sinister Than I Thought

[throwaway4benzos]

I react very abnormally to MDA even at what should be a sub-recreational dose. I feel extremely overstimulated and both hot and cold at the same time, extremely ill and dysphoric. It’s the only stimulant I found that I react so unusually to.

I didn’t lose the magic until around my 10th time doing pills and then later pure MDMA that was sold as ecstasy. And that’s including the fact that I’m quite sure that my second and third time I had pills that or at least partially MDA and thus had bad experiences on. I only ever took one pill/capsule at a time and several months minimum in between uses. However, I did go on Prozac around the time (also for OCD in facts but now I know it’s a manifestation of my Asperger’s) I lost the magic, so that almost certainly contributed. But the first time I went on it, I was only on it for six months max and even over six months after I went off it I still couldn’t get a pleasurable MDMA experience. Then I went on Prozac max dose for several years. A year after I went off it again, I tried MDMA and had an even worse experience than my authority lacklustre prior experience. I had a heavy body load and a lot of dysphoria. I tried it again during summer 2023 (more than 15 years off any psychiatric meds & since I’d last done it) & I had a decent experience, but the magic was definitely gone - it was over sedating and kinda underwhelming, but at least I didn’t have any negative effects. I think the setting was also suboptimal, though. And all the MDMA I’ve tried except for my second and third time has been pure lab tested.

You definitely did nothing wrong! We have every right to choose what we put in our body and there’s a lot to be learned from careful experimentation with drugs. I don’t regret anything I’ve tried or done. Out of curiosity, what did you have that you think will be extinct soon?

I can't relate to the dysphoria from it. All I know is that, for me, MDA paired with MDMA (or even MDMA alone) gave me the feeling that everyone describes opioids as having. I appreciate you, and I don't regret anything I've done. There’s no going back anyway; I can only move forward from here. No experience haunts me, nor do I constantly think about certain ones. To me, they’re all basically the same (with a few exceptions). I’ve always tried to use the drug rather than let it use me. I can't say I’ve had many life-altering experiences from any of them (whether for better or worse), but I did them anyway. I’ve basically done everything I’ve wanted to do.

I plan to take a break from recreational drug use for a while. I’d like to make some changes in my life, and I think this might help improve things. I’ll be starting a job soon (thanks, Dad), so I don’t want to risk getting fired for using a substance that doesn’t improve my life and could cause me to fail a urine test.

That being said, I’m really excited to get back on Prozac (I have a psych appointment tomorrow), and I’ll probably ask for lithium to help manage my mania. It’s really annoying not being able to fall asleep for hours because of it.

As for the chemicals, I’m talking about DOM, DOB, and 2C-E. I know they’re still available if you look hard enough, but I don’t see them sticking around much longer since they were never widely popular to begin with.

By the way, great book recommendation! I’m about 50 pages in so far, and I’m enjoying it. I’ll share more about it once I finish in a couple of days.

 

[fairnymph]

I can't relate to the dysphoria from it. All I know is that, for me, MDA paired with MDMA (or even MDMA alone) gave me the feeling that everyone describes opioids as having. I appreciate you, and I don't regret anything I've done. There’s no going back anyway; I can only move forward from here. No experience haunts me, nor do I constantly think about certain ones. To me, they’re all basically the same (with a few exceptions). I’ve always tried to use the drug rather than let it use me. I can't say I’ve had many life-altering experiences from any of them (whether for better or worse), but I did them anyway. I’ve basically done everything I’ve wanted to do.

I plan to take a break from recreational drug use for a while. I’d like to make some changes in my life, and I think this might help improve things. I’ll be starting a job soon (thanks, Dad), so I don’t want to risk getting fired for using a substance that doesn’t improve my life and could cause me to fail a urine test.

That being said, I’m really excited to get back on Prozac (I have a psych appointment tomorrow), and I’ll probably ask for lithium to help manage my mania. It’s really annoying not being able to fall asleep for hours because of it.

As for the chemicals, I’m talking about DOM, DOB, and 2C-E. I know they’re still available if you look hard enough, but I don’t see them sticking around much longer since they were never widely popular to begin with.

By the way, great book recommendation! I’m about 50 pages in so far, and I’m enjoying it. I’ll share more about it once I finish in a couple of days.

Yeah, like I said, it’s definitely atypical my reaction to MDA. I’ve never heard of anything like it before. There’s really only maybe a dozen drugs, max, that are worth doing. For me, once I had tried nearly everything I was interested in it turned out there was only a handful I found worth doing more than a couple times. At least for recreational use - there are a lot more drugs with the therapeutic use obviously.

It’s kind of funny how you’re excited about going back on Prozac, but I’m happy to hear that! It really helped me and I’m glad to hear others who are still finding it useful. I think it’s by far the best SSRI. Lithium is also quite useful and has some health benefits too, but it may be linked to obesity so stay low dose if possible. Even remarkably low doses can be helpful.

Ugh, those are all nasty drugs imo, good riddance. Though I’ve only tried 2CE it is my least favourite drug ever. Just pure horrible side effects and nothing else. I do not tolerate the 2Cs.

So glad you’re enjoying the book! I knew you would! Really makes my day to hear it.

 

[throwaway4benzos]

Yeah, like I said, it’s definitely atypical my reaction to MDA. I’ve never heard of anything like it before. There’s really only maybe a dozen drugs, max, that are worth doing. For me, once I had tried nearly everything I was interested in it turned out there was only a handful I found worth doing more than a couple times. At least for recreational use - there are a lot more drugs with the therapeutic use obviously.

It’s kind of funny how you’re excited about going back on Prozac, but I’m happy to hear that! It really helped me and I’m glad to hear others who are still finding it useful. I think it’s by far the best SSRI. Lithium is also quite useful and has some health benefits too, but it may be linked to obesity so stay low dose if possible. Even remarkably low doses can be helpful.

Ugh, those are all nasty drugs imo, good riddance. Though I’ve only tried 2CE it is my least favourite drug ever. Just pure horrible side effects and nothing else. I do not tolerate the 2Cs.

So glad you’re enjoying the book! I knew you would! Really makes my day to hear it.

I guess everyone is just different. The only chems I'd really do again are ketamine, but I hate snorting large quantities of anything (ruins the experience having a clogged nose, and it makes me nauseous for some reason, maybe boofing will prevent that). LSD, but the time would have to be just right, DMT (I liked the lower doses, the higher ones were too insane for me, but it's fun, too short-lasting for any introspection or negatives to occur), MDMA and MDA, but this won't happen anytime soon due to Prozac and urine testing, and 2C-B.

I know right, not something most people are excited to hop back on, but I'd like to get my OCD under control. Journaling my compulsions is not enough for me. Never tried lithium, I'll see how it goes. People either rave about it or hate it. There's only one way to find out... Seroquel didn't seem to do much from what I remember, neither did trazodone, nor did lamictal (I got the rash from it).

Aha, I just think it'd be a crime to toss them. I've done DOM, it was alright, nothing too crazy, way too long-lasting, but I didn't take too big of a dose. The DOB I'll pass on doing considering how long it lasts, and the 2C-E seems too unpredictable. Still going to keep them for some odd reason.

Appreciate you.

 

[fairnymph]

I guess everyone is just different. The only chems I'd really do again are ketamine, but I hate snorting large quantities of anything (ruins the experience having a clogged nose, and it makes me nauseous for some reason, maybe boofing will prevent that). LSD, but the time would have to be just right, DMT (I liked the lower doses, the higher ones were too insane for me, but it's fun, too short-lasting for any introspection or negatives to occur), MDMA and MDA, but this won't happen anytime soon due to Prozac and urine testing, and 2C-B.

I know right, not something most people are excited to hop back on, but I'd like to get my OCD under control. Journaling my compulsions is not enough for me. Never tried lithium, I'll see how it goes. People either rave about it or hate it. There's only one way to find out... Seroquel didn't seem to do much from what I remember, neither did trazodone, nor did lamictal (I got the rash from it).

Aha, I just think it'd be a crime to toss them. I've done DOM, it was alright, nothing too crazy, way too long-lasting, but I didn't take too big of a dose. The DOB I'll pass on doing considering how long it lasts, and the 2C-E seems too unpredictable. Still going to keep them for some odd reason.

Appreciate you.

Ketamine & LSD remain the only drugs that have not lost any lustre at all with time. But, I’ve also used them less than stimulants because I like to save them for special occasions. Still want to try DMT but because I am a bad smoker, I’m afraid I won’t be able to inhale enough when vaping. I have real trouble inhaling anything that my lungs don’t like.

You should try doing cognitive behavioural therapy for your OCD. I could only do it when medicated, but that’s how I got my OCD under control permanently and then when I went off Prozac, I was basically as fixed as I wanted to get. I still have some OCD traits, but I kept them because I enjoy them. I got rid of the ones which were interfering with my life. Unfortunately, I cannot find the book that I used, but I could walk you through the method if you’re interested. It’ll work better for certain manifestations of OCD than others, but it’s definitely worth giving a try. It’s magical for compulsions.

DOB sounds horrible. LSD is already a little too long lasting.