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🌟🌟 Social 🌟🌟 The 2025 Recovery & Social Thread

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chris_p said:
Very close to doing something stupid again. Holding fast on 'sobriety' with just benzos weed and alcohol. Two more weeks I am telling myself but it's getting harder every day, every movement feels like my brain is being shocked by a million electric needles, no matter how much xanax I take cannot reliably sleep for longer than 2-3 hours a day.

Had terrifying sleep paralysis last night, I remember in my dream I was looking at my monitor and there were words growing out of it it like it was trying to speak to me and there was a face of a clown right above it, immediately after woke up in complete sleep paralysis unable to move and I kept hearing laughter but my eyes were closed and all I saw was darkness. I was stuck in that paralytic state for maybe 2-3 minutes. It's happened twice now in the past two days. I just feel like giving in so I can feel normal again for a few days.

e0eeYpm.jpeg
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Just wanted to send you some love, please come and talk to us whenever you need okay.

Oh and that’s clearly a bird in that picture 😀
Sending you a big hug 🌺💜

*Oh yea, & I’ve been through brain zaps before as well (they can definitely freak ya out) .. they do get better over time. Your body is kind of trying to adjust … unfortunately there’s no exact timeframe I could give you … but they definitely over time do get better.
 
helpingout said:
I do SMART and ACT.
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I’ve always wanted to try those meetings and check them out. I’ve been back and forth to NA & AA so many times over my life. There are meetings here called ‘Recovery on the Rez’, I kind of want to check them out (I think it’s just the reservation’s version of NA/AA). I just have trouble with meetings because guys will hit on you a lot when you’re a female. I’ve actually had guys follow me out to the parking lot and other stuff. As a survivor of domestic violence (and some other stuff) I can’t tell if I’m overly sensitive to it or something.

Anyways I’m probably rambling.

Big hugs to everyone 💜
 
Coffeeshroom said:
@helpingout congrats on your progress. The whole food thing for me was always if I can't kill it or grow it, I don't eat it.

On the pooping subject, for me it was different and still is, after getting of subs I always get stomach cramps in the morning and then have to go and been like that ever since. Whether on or off opiods except H I'm always regular. And my stomach cramps that feels like a cat trying to claw out is always gone and feel fine the rest of the day after my morning session.

@LucidSDreamr mind me asking how you dropt your methadone dose, weekly? And at how much at a time.
Currently trying to taper my methadone dose down but not pushing myself hard.
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I went from around 15 mg per day to 1 mg per day over the course of two weeks.

This was harder then going cold turkey off one mg (9 days off now).

During that taper there were multiple days in a row of no sleep, non 24 hour sleep cycles (kinda like 4 hrs of sleep per 72 hrs, significant hyperalgesia and GI distress)
 
LucidSDreamr said:
I went from around 15 mg per day to 1 mg per day over the course of two weeks.

This was harder then going cold turkey off one mg (9 days off now).

During that taper there were multiple days in a row of no sleep, non 24 hour sleep cycles (kinda like 4 hrs of sleep per 72 hrs, significant hyperalgesia and GI distress)
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Did you use any comfort meds of any kind and the hyperalgesia, how long did that last as that also makes you unable to sleep and what about RLS, any of that during and presently. I remember before relapsing badly after getting clean using bupre but the RLS was the worst with bupre.
 
Coffeeshroom said:
Did you use any comfort meds of any kind and the hyperalgesia, how long did that last as that also makes you unable to sleep and what about RLS, any of that during and presently. I remember before relapsing badly after getting clean using bupre but the RLS was the worst with bupre.
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The RLS wasn’t too extreme but I just attribute that for doing the taper at a comfortable rate and not forcing myself to experience a super hard withdrawal. I’ve done the same with a fentanyl patch taper previously.

The only things I used were amitriptyline and melatonin to help with sleep.

As far as hyperalgesia (I have a chronic pain condition I was on the opioid for) - there have been two instances during the 9 days clean where a 10 mg dose of Valium was needed when the pain was too extreme. I’m not dependent on Valium and hopefully will never be. Benzos don’t seem to even put any dent whatsoever in the withdrawl symptoms they just took the edge off my chronic pain condition when it became too much.

I’ve also been taking magnesium supplements (it’s a muscle relaxer). Miralax and fiber supplements I’ve been using for the GI symptoms.
 
Coffeeshroom said:
Did you use any comfort meds of any kind and the hyperalgesia, how long did that last as that also makes you unable to sleep and what about RLS, any of that during and presently. I remember before relapsing badly after getting clean using bupre but the RLS was the worst with bupre.
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One of the things that has brought the most comfort and amelioration of the withdrawl is soaking in a hot tub and meditating out in the sun for long periods of time and doing cold plunges and cold showers.
 
@LucidSDreamr thanks for all the info and have tried most of that and found the hot tub with muscle relaxer helped a lot for me the second time. This is the 3rd time getting clean again..

First was pure cold turkey but relapsed in 3 weeks.
2nd time was bupre and was clean for 8 yrs then relapsed again.

So now number 3 to get this monkey of my back. But only methadone available atm but would prefer using bupre to get clean or function on lowest dose possible that was 300mcg of bupre and then jumped of and suffered a week of 3/10 wd apart from the RLs that was always like a 8/10.

Even when I was clean for 8 years I still got RLS during those years time from time.

Sorry for long rant
 
Coffeeshroom said:
@LucidSDreamr thanks for all the info and have tried most of that and found the hot tub with muscle relaxer helped a lot for me the second time. This is the 3rd time getting clean again..

First was pure cold turkey but relapsed in 3 weeks.
2nd time was bupre and was clean for 8 yrs then relapsed again.

So now number 3 to get this monkey of my back. But only methadone available atm but would prefer using bupre to get clean or function on lowest dose possible that was 300mcg of bupre and then jumped of and suffered a week of 3/10 wd apart from the RLs that was always like a 8/10.

Even when I was clean for 8 years I still got RLS during those years time from time.

Sorry for long rant
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I don’t find methadone any harder to withdrawal from than bupe. But I know that my dose of methadone was very low relative to how high most ppl go with methadone.

Why did you relapse those times?

I’ve really looked at my multiple relapses recently. There is one in particular that was a huge mistake and not justified in any respect whatsoever. I can’t ever let that happen again.

I don’t know exactly how I’m going to avoid it this time; but I think it was connected to making excuses about using weed. I need to understand that I can’t alter my mind anymore even with a minor drug like weed to escape psychological discomfort.
 
LucidSDreamr said:
I don’t find methadone any harder to withdrawal from than bupe. But I know that my dose of methadone was very low relative to how high most ppl go with methadone.

Why did you relapse those times?

I’ve really looked at my multiple relapses recently. There is one in particular that was a huge mistake and not justified in any respect whatsoever. I can’t ever let that happen again.

I don’t know exactly how I’m going to avoid it this time; but I think it was connected to making excuses about using weed. I need to understand that I can’t alter my mind anymore even with a minor drug like weed to escape psychological discomfort.
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Dude for real. My most devastating period of lapses was due to my thinking I could use alcohol safely. Which I can. But the lack of inhibition and the lack of self control kind of carried into the next day and I ended up using opiates again where the connection to alcohol was really clear. So now I don’t drink because when I drink I want to use drugs. I’ve been through it with weed before. Weed never satisfied me. I’d just smoke weed until it felt like heroin. And the reality was that weed never felt like heroin. To sum it all up, most drugs make me feel like or attempt to replace the desire to use opiates and abstinence is just an easier choice for me.
 
Coffeeshroom said:
Did you use any comfort meds
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Not a medicine but one thing that has helped is putting on some of my favorite music and just dancing in my room.

Music sounds so much more full of feeling and emotion when I’m off drugs. I’ve cried and the hairs in the back of my neck are standing up again at the sound of my favorite tunes that just seemed bland when stoned on weed and opiated
 
LucidSDreamr said:
yea that’s my favorite part of the weed high. I don’t particularly like the stimulating psychedelic peak….but I love the feeling when you’re burnt out and been smoking all day and you just become numb and sleepy.
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In my 8yrs clean streak I only smoked green. No tobacco or alcohol or any drugs.

I actually started gymming and competing and best idid was coming 3rd for my province but never went through to do S.A. ( shit happened )
 
Coffeeshroom said:
In my 8yrs clean streak I only smoked green. No tobacco or alcohol or any drugs.

I actually started gymming and competing and best idid was coming 3rd for my province but never went through to do S.A. ( shit happened )
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Oh, really tobacco is a drug and that Landrace Swazi Gold isn't ? Marijuana is a drug. Then again so is caffeine. Lol
 
Jnowhere said:
Oh, really tobacco is a drug and that Landrace Swazi Gold isn't ? Marijuana is a drug. Then again so is caffeine. Lol
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The first time I went to rehab for alcohol … and other stuff, they wouldn’t let anyone drink coffee because they said it was a drug. They would only let people drink one decaf coffee in the morning and people were freaking out over it. So when I got out I said “Wow I got to check this stuff out” … and I loved how it felt. I’ve been addicted to coffee ever since lol :ROFLMAO:
 
AngelsandFairiesarereal said:
The first time I went to rehab for alcohol … and other stuff, they wouldn’t let anyone drink coffee because they said it was a drug. They would only let people drink one decaf coffee in the morning and people were freaking out over it. So when I got out I said “Wow I got to check this stuff out” … and I loved how it felt. I’ve been addicted to coffee ever since lol :ROFLMAO:
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I drank several pots of coffee for a while; one day I ran out and I still remember that headache and tremble.
Doing a coffee taper is embarrassing.
At least I never got addicted to long lasting nasal spray, like my mother.
It was kind of my fault, I was maybe 2 and this was the later 70's and no car seats for toddlers. I leaned forward and my mom was leaning forward and I sat straight up and my thick skull broke her nose. She had scar tissue and it bothered her for the rest or actually most of her life
 
Jnowhere said:
I drank several pots of coffee for a while; one day I ran out and I still remember that headache and tremble.
Doing a coffee taper is embarrassing.
At least I never got addicted to long lasting nasal spray, like my mother.
It was kind of my fault, I was maybe 2 and this was the later 70's and no car seats for toddlers. I leaned forward and my mom was leaning forward and I sat straight up and my thick skull broke her nose. She had scar tissue and it bothered her for the rest or actually most of her life
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Yea I need a coffee first thing in the morning.

Oh my gosh, my dad was addicted to nasal spray too. One time he came home when I was a kid and he couldn’t find it and flipped out on me. He was literally tearing the house apart until he found it … it was pretty crazy.

And aw it wasn’t really your fault what happened when you were 2, you were basically just a baby 💕

Also it’s good to see you. I was just thinking about you the other day, I hadn’t seen you around in a little bit. I was thinking ‘I hope he’s doing good and eating tater tots’ lol 😊
Big hugs 💜
 
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