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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Mental Health Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v. 9

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paranoid android said:
Well in the end if it was good for a laugh all is not wasted i guess

He says his parents are terrible but how much can we believe from him? Maybe they are just trying to keep him out of hospital or worse jail. Ive been to both and i still cant decide which was worse. To clarify ive been to jail not prison which is probably way worse
Click to expand...
What’s the difference between prison and jail
 
Oh here we either get held in the cells at the police station or prison.
Prison then. I’ve been to prison. Twice. Coz I didn’t quite learn the first time.
And there’s a psych ward in the prison.
So much worse than the psych ward. I promise.
 
I was taken to jail for like 2 hours after going psychotic, they eventually took me to the hospital where they filled me up with haldol and invega. I would rather go to prison for 12 years than take fcking antipsychotics. Disgusting drugs.
 
I'm glad that dude is gone. I was sympathetic to him because my parents aren't the best either. My mom actually does have NPD traits and they're both emotionally immature and lack emotional intelligence. But I don't think fucked up shit like that, I only want to get away from my parents, I don't want them dead.

I'm further validated that I'm one of the more sane people in here. I never needed those injections. I needed someone to talk me out of paranoia and put on lighter antipsychotics. I needed someone to acknowledge my OCD symptoms and understand I was never going to hurt anybody, it was just intrusive thoughts that don't reflect who I am. I was so afraid the psychiatrist thought I was just a psychopath, I couldn't talk to him in depth.
 
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specialrelativity said:
Move out of your parents house, already.🥹
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I am trying, I applied to four jobs yesterday. I'm trying to date too, I'm chatting up someone who likes me on a dating app again. I went on a couple dates last summer but we didn't click and now I think she's too depressed to reach out so I'm moving on.
 
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6 months off//

I don't feel much regrets and depression as used to until 4 months
but I feel no interest in anything yet.

I don't want to walk.
I don't want to learn.
I don't want to meditate.
I don't want to watch netflix or youtube anymore. -> This made me endure some pain for few months.

I lost all that ambition about getting money, achieving something etc.
I am tired of everything.

Just want to rest entire life.

I don't need recognition.
I don't need much money just peace.

I don't need a girl(Although I have one)
just tiring.

I guess this feeling is also side effect of invega.

I don't have sputum in the morning anymore like I used to.

There is still shortness of breath.
I can't still lose my weight I gained after invega although I eat only once a day.

So there is still the effect of invega going on.

Life feels so much more blunt and grey.

I just want peace.
 
wbga said:
6 months off//

I don't feel much regrets and depression as used to until 4 months
but I feel no interest in anything yet.

I don't want to walk.
I don't want to learn.
I don't want to meditate.
I don't want to watch netflix or youtube anymore. -> This made me endure some pain for few months.

I lost all that ambition about getting money, achieving something etc.
I am tired of everything.

Just want to rest entire life.

I don't need recognition.
I don't need much money just peace.

I don't need a girl(Although I have one)
just tiring.

I guess this feeling is also side effect of invega.

I don't have sputum in the morning anymore like I used to.

There is still shortness of breath.
I can't still lose my weight I gained after invega although I eat only once a day.

So there is still the effect of invega going on.

Life feels so much more blunt and grey.

I just want peace.
Click to expand...

That's poetic. Seriously.

For me a lot of life is choosing what to focus on. If I focus on my issues too much, they grow.

Do you exercise? Use that hard will if you can. Also yoga helps me a lot.
 
I don't have suicidal thoughts but

I have this feeling of

"Living has no meaning"
"Living has no color"
"I am already dead inside"


There is this feeling of wanting to be silent and stop all the noise.

If there was a button to select from,
"Do you want to continue life" and
"Do you want to end life"

I would choose the second.
Not that I want to kill myself,
but no meaning makes me feel this way.

Only thing that gives me some interest is human interaction.
I don't really feel lonely.
Rather I want to be alone.

I never tried to write comment on youtube before.
I like when youtuber react to it.

It is funny feeling.
I didn't have that kind of thing in my life.

Maybe the isolation is getting longer that makes me want to comment and have some human interaction like this?

I always found meaning in everything I experience but
this invega one is really hard one to grasp haha.
But I still believe this experience will make me stronger person after all.
 
AlphaMethylPhenyl said:
That's poetic. Seriously.

For me a lot of life is choosing what to focus on. If I focus on my issues too much, they grow.

Do you exercise? Use that hard will if you can. Also yoga helps me a lot.
Click to expand...
Yea dopamine makes you focus on things.

I just can't focus on one thing yet.

Sometimes when I try to write a diary, I get distracted so much every line I write.
 
AlphaMethylPhenyl said:
That's poetic. Seriously.

For me a lot of life is choosing what to focus on. If I focus on my issues too much, they grow.

Do you exercise? Use that hard will if you can. Also yoga helps me a lot.
Click to expand...
I do meditation

but I just feel mentally so tired of doing anything.

I have to really force myself to meditate because I know it gives me peaceful mind state.
 
AlphaMethylPhenyl said:
That's poetic. Seriously.

For me a lot of life is choosing what to focus on. If I focus on my issues too much, they grow.

Do you exercise? Use that hard will if you can. Also yoga helps me a lot.
Click to expand...

Taking up lifting weights again was the best decision i ever made mental health wise. Im also in better shape at 43 then i was when i was 20.
 
wbga said:
I do meditation

but I just feel mentally so tired of doing anything.

I have to really force myself to meditate because I know it gives me peaceful mind state.
Click to expand...

I was like that when i was on the injections and when i first came off them as well. Are you still on them?
 
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