PTSD Long lasting trauma from psychedelic experiences

[chris_p]

Not many people take me seriously but I have had an experience many years ago (around when I was 17) on Ayahuasca that left me with crippling horrific existential dread, primarily this was due to a fault of my own in believing I could prepare the tea myself and get the doses accurately, I had accidentally created a cocktail far too powerful for an unexperienced teenager and proceeded to drink all of it without purging. Describing what happened afterwards is difficult but I remember seeing extremely lifelike visions of demons and believing they were possessing me. I was screaming during the whole experience.

To describe the months following as pure unadulterated hell would be putting it lightly. I had essentially rewired my brain entirely and every single aspect of existence scared me deeply. The fact that I was a strange standing monkey experiencing qualia through the electric signalling of a wet bag of meat, the fact that anything existed at all, would send me into a panic attack. I was in a state of constant agony 24/7 for months. Funny enough, the only thing that cured it for me was taking more psychedelics. I take psychedelics nowadays with no problem but I always remember that trip and the horror that followed. I still enter a panic when I think of that trip sometimes, but it's very rare and only happens when I smoke too much weed.

Has anyone else suffered PTSD from psychedelics? I always thought I was the only one

 

[washingtonbound]

Not many people take me seriously but I have had an experience many years ago (around when I was 17) on Ayahuasca that left me with crippling horrific existential dread, primarily this was due to a fault of my own in believing I could prepare the tea myself and get the doses accurately, I had accidentally created a cocktail far too powerful for an unexperienced teenager and proceeded to drink all of it without purging. Describing what happened afterwards is difficult but I remember seeing extremely lifelike visions of demons and believing they were possessing me. I was screaming during the whole experience.

To describe the months following as pure unadulterated hell would be putting it lightly. I had essentially rewired my brain entirely and every single aspect of existence scared me deeply. The fact that I was a strange standing monkey experiencing qualia through the electric signalling of a wet bag of meat, the fact that anything existed at all, would send me into a panic attack. I was in a state of constant agony 24/7 for months. Funny enough, the only thing that cured it for me was taking more psychedelics. I take psychedelics nowadays with no problem but I always remember that trip and the horror that followed. I still enter a panic when I think of that trip sometimes, but it's very rare and only happens when I smoke too much weed.

Has anyone else suffered PTSD from psychedelics? I always thought I was the only one

Psychedelics have been absolutely terrible for my mental health. I deal with OCD tendencies a lot in my thinking, not exactly with observable rituals like hand washing, but constant shitty thought loops that don't stop. Psychedelics made that garbage so much worse. I think for certain people, it really worsens mental health all around. In my case it did, and also brought out psychosis that landed me in the psych ward many times. I'm not psychotic now, but have a horrible time managing my thoughts. I think it really exacerbates certain mental health conditions, and was not helpful for me in any way.